It means exactly what it sounds like.
My dad taught me all the right things about how you treat women, to the degree that I am even probably even a bit quaint in opening doors and the whatnot. But the entire ethos of how you treat women/a lady is based on the idea that the woman/lady is acting in a certain way herself. You never hit a woman because its rank bullying to do so. She would never physically assault you, and its you just using your superior size/strength to bully a smaller and weaker person in pathetic fashion. You in fact should stand up for a women being physically assaulted, and I have.
All great principles....as long as you are dealing with women who have internalized the same rules and behaviors themselves.
Then you get out in life, you encounter people who come from tough backgrounds, you encounter drunks and druggies and all the rest and see how they interact. And it knocks the sheen off the idealism, because the fact is that you can't trust every woman to behave in a benign and unthreatening way. Some women are going to lie, cheat, steal, hit, do drugs, get totally hammered, commit crimes and all the rest. Some, in short, are perfectly capable of being violent, of initiating violence or escalating situations. And that changes the paradigm. Somebody being born big doesn't mean that they are human punching bags not allowed to defend themselves.
WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE. Maybe in a few days we will.
Well this we know.....We know Matt Barnes has a way of attracting trouble.
We know he was the alleged assailant per Sam Amick. We know he was probably not in the best of moods given his terrible individual play (5 for 28 FGs over last 3 games, a pathetic 18% accuracy) and three straight losses. Then there's this which is more of a subjective take:
You wear a scowl on your face, you attract scowlers. You look for trouble you usually find it. The energy you put out into your environment is the energy that comes back to you. And often it is exponential.
Anyone can be a victim of circumstances, but there is history with this overgrown kid.
It doesn't make him a bad person in his heart but he has temper issues related to troubled childhood and I believe modeling male role models that predispose him to physical altercation. He saw violence as youth and this is one his forms of conflict resolution. This does not mean he cannot change or mature but it also does not excuse his behavior nor making him immune to the consequences of said behavior.
On choking:
Choking is not a defensive response. Choking is an offensive attack to cut off air supply and render someone unconscious or potentially kill someone. And cause your opponent, and partisans in vicinity to fight for their life. Hence the alleged melee involving multiple individuals.
Choking is just a BAD idea. You can render someone impotent with a hard shove or takedown, before throwing punch, before choking, before rendering a weapon.
THIS IS CALLED COMMON SENSE.
As someone who can defend himself easily, it is NOT my inclination to choke someone and cut off their oxygen supply if and when I need to take someone down, especially a woman! We don't know what happened, like you said, but if you make a pass at a woman and she rejects you, or she perceives she was hit on inappropriately (butt bump) a real man doesn't get physical in return. He laughs it off. He diffuses the situation. He speaks his mind with emotional control and walks away. He doesn't respond disproportionately by wrapping his hand around her neck, then fleeing the scene before cops can arrive or flee the city before he can resolve the issue.
This looks bad. It probably is bad. Why not clear your name on the spot that night OR before your flight out of town?
I haven't been able to cheer for this guy because he's not good at basketball. Now there's this incident. He didn't belong in the rotation before. He definitely does not belong now if partially or totally responsible for this black eye on the team and his reputation. Moreover and more importantly Barnes dragged our best player into a situation where he could have broke his hand and been sidelined for 6-8 weeks and ended our season.
Defend Matt Barnes and you have to put yourself out there on flimsy limb. You want to hang out there, you are NOT going to get a lot of company. If I am wrong, and Barnes was at NO fault in this incident I will be the first to admit to being wrong, and apologize for being too presumptuous and spouting too soon to declare him guilty in the court of public opinion. I doubt that concession will be forthcoming.