Dear Spencer,
By the time of this writing I am sure the folks at Arco will have you standing 7'5" at least, which suffice it to say is considerably taller than any member of the Oklahoma City Thunder, whom the rest of your teammates have found to be little challenge. Meanwhile you have managed to rack up 2 rebounds and 5 fouls against a team which starts perhaps the softest Center in the league (present company not inclduded), a SF at PF, and who have been guarding you by a 6'9" PF with a scar on his chest from open heart surgery. Might I suggest a new brand of shoe for you to wear?: