If you agree that parents have the primary responsibility, then it’s odd that you’d say “that is pretty much crap", sense the crux of my argument, was that parents have the primary (I’d say sole) responsibility.
You definitely underrate the influence of others and over-rate parents. And my point is that others can help a great deal and parents need others to be part of their children's "support."
even if true, that’s not relevant to our society. Tribal societies were much smaller, much more personal, much more dependent on one another, etc. Our society bears little resemblance to tribal societies where the “it takes a village” approach may have some validity. Our society is more impersonal, more isolated, more individualistic, etc. so naturally the dynamics regarding the communal role in child rearing is very different, as well.
It was very true in this country until very recently. For example, I was born in 1950 and my extended family was a huge part of my upbringing and all contributed to raising me into the adult I became. Grandparents, aunts, uncles. Cousins were like siblings to me. I also happened to have a family that belonged to a very supportive religious group, that also acted as an extended family. They also had a few couples they were very close to for a long time and they were adults I trusted and learned from. I lived in neighborhoods where all the adults looked out for kids. Other moms, in particular, didn't hesitate to correct my behavior and let my mom know.
Even as recently as the first part of the 20th century, most people lived with or near extended family and all the adults took responsibility for all the kids. In other cases, a church group or close-knit neighborhood all took responsibility.
Yes it has changed. People got mobile, moved far from family or close childhood friends. They moved into neighborhoods where they often don't know their neighbors. Rarely do people have an extensive support group of people ready to step in and help with anything and everything. Its really unfortunate that in less than 100 years, we've gone from parents generally having a large support group helping them raise their children to leaving parents on their own.
Then so many act like its all their fault if things go wrong. What an easy, cheap cop-out for society. And how do you explain the the super-achieving, well-behaved adult who has a drug-addicted sibling in and out of jail, usually out of work and has no qualms about stealing, who were both raised by the same parents?
Again, ideally, that would be great. But that’s just not how the world works. Folks aren’t just going to fall in line with how you’d ideally like them to be. So the best you can do, is accept that you can’t control their behavior and focus on what you can control (to an extent) which is how your own kids will ultimately react to other people’s behavior.
Of course you can't control others. What I'm saying is adults used to accept the responsibility of at least trying to model good behavior, at least around children. Society actually has a huge vested interest in how children turn out, not just parents.
If someone wants to embrace their celebrity, and use it in a positive way, great. Where we set ourselves up for disappointment though, is when we adopt the expectation that all celebrities use their fame in positive ways.
I think its eminently fair to expect adults to act in a mature, responsible, ethical and legal manner. Or are we expecting children to be better behaved than adults? Or for parents to be better behaved than the average adult?
Having said that, I'm disappointed Mario Elie was arrested for driving under the influence. I also believe he is sorry and embarrassed. He'll be sentenced to whatever the system deems is appropriate and that settles it for me. Hopefully, he won't do it again and maybe some other people will learn from his example and make plans for not driving next time they want to go out and drink. Hope springs eternal.