All Time Kings Draft...on a Tropical Island?

[Spike]

My last pick...

SLAMSON!

Full Name: Slamson (Felinus Entertanus Maximus)
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Date of Birth: Fall of 1998
Birthplace: Ngoro Ngoro Crater, Tanzania
College Attended: Lion-el University
Favorite Book: Cat in the Hat
Favorite Song: Cat Scratch Fever
Favorite Movie: Lion King

If Slamson is not allowed, I shall take:

Bob Hansen
1990-1991 36 games 22.5 minutes 6.4 ppg (.375 .500 .275) 2.7 rebs 2.5 ast 0.6 spg

 

[Jespher]

SLAMSON!

Full Name: Slamson (Felinus Entertanus Maximus)
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Date of Birth: Fall of 1998
Birthplace: Ngoro Ngoro Crater, Tanzania
College Attended: Lion-el University
Favorite Book: Cat in the Hat
Favorite Song: Cat Scratch Fever
Favorite Movie: Lion King

Truly an inspired pick!

 

[Bricklayer]

Bob Hansen it is -- sorry.

Next thing you know we'd all be picking the hottest cheerleaders.

 

[Spike]

Bob Hansen it is -- sorry.

Next thing you know we'd all be picking the hottest cheerleaders.

So you're saying I can pick hot cheerleaders?

 

[Jespher]

So it looks like Dime Dropper timed out and SLAB is on the clock...

 

[SLAB]

With the final pick of my Kings draft, I can't quite say I'm thrilled, but I will say I am pretty pleased he 'dropped' (Dropping to the final round in the Kings draft isn't a ringing endorsement, but Ill take it) to me.
I had a list of three shotaholic PGs to take very late to be my 'official' 2nd 'true' PG. They were: Darrick Martin, Bobby Brown, and my (actually #1 of the group) pick...

DAMON JONES! -- 02/03 season.

I remember this guy showing up, jacking up threes in his first game, making a bunch of them, Grant shouting "DAMON JONES!", and by gum. This guys only service to my team is to be a three point chucker who can make some three pointers.
He may be my 12th man, but as one of my few 3pt gunners, he will have his place.

Welcome, Mr. Damon Jones.
Welcome.

 

[Bricklayer]

QUERY to peeps:

As we approach the end of this thing, Spike's little attempt at an extracurricular pick with Slamson has got me thinking. Would any of you be interested in going one more round, per normal snake rules (i.e. uolj would take his 13th pick and then immediately take his 14th round pick (if we do one), and have the final round be one dedicated to taking any single public figure associated with the Kings in their 25 year history in Sacramento, from Salmson, to a particlar owner, a dance team member, a broadcast person, Rupe the Hoop, whoever. For those purposes it would be the loosiest goosiest almost anything goes round.

Again, this is entirely up to you guys. As of now the draft ends at the end of Rnd 13. Just had this thought after Spike's attempted pick, wanted ot see if anybody else wanted to do such a thing.

P.S. If we did this Spike would automatically get to keep Slamson as his pick since it was the pick that inspired the possible change.

 

[Jespher]

That sounds like fun Brick. I'd be down for one more round .

 

[uolj]

Fine by me.

 

[MassachusettsKingsFan]

Sounds like fun, why not?

 

[uolj]

Of course, I said yes because I would pick first and I know who I'd pick. I'd hate to be the thirteenth guy.

Then again, my roster is so much better than the rest of the field that I wouldn't mind if the last round went the other way. Maybe I can end up with Bill Walton.

 

[Capt. Factorial]

I would not be opposed to the idea for fun, but seeing as it was not a part of the draft from the beginning and it would be questionable how the peripheral characters would figure into the record of the team, I myself would definitely not take it into account as far as the playoffs go.

 

[Spike]

QUERY to peeps:

P.S. If we did this Spike would automatically get to keep Slamson as his pick since it was the pick that inspired the possible change.

I vote yes to all.

 

[Dime Dropper]

Realistically none of the guys picked here are ever going to contribute. With this in mind I'm taking another big guy, Eric Leckner.

As Brick said, my coach, Dick Motta, raved about this guys big hands (that's how good they were). You could fire a rocket at him and he'd catch it. He was amazing.

Eric Leckner

Write-up to come later.

 

[kingsnation]

QUERY to peeps:

As we approach the end of this thing, Spike's little attempt at an extracurricular pick with Slamson has got me thinking. Would any of you be interested in going one more round, per normal snake rules (i.e. uolj would take his 13th pick and then immediately take his 14th round pick (if we do one), and have the final round be one dedicated to taking any single public figure associated with the Kings in their 25 year history in Sacramento, from Salmson, to a particlar owner, a dance team member, a broadcast person, Rupe the Hoop, whoever. For those purposes it would be the loosiest goosiest almost anything goes round.

Again, this is entirely up to you guys. As of now the draft ends at the end of Rnd 13. Just had this thought after Spike's attempted pick, wanted ot see if anybody else wanted to do such a thing.

P.S. If we did this Spike would automatically get to keep Slamson as his pick since it was the pick that inspired the possible change.

Yes.

 

[Bricklayer]

Alright, the selection of Damon Jones by Slab made this one all the easier for me:

F Chucky Brown

'01-02
Stats: Irrelevant

I'm taking Chucky Brown as my 12th man/ultimate karmic token. Back in the day Chucky was like the NBA's ultimate good luck token. He was also its ultimate bad luck token (see article below for some details on the Curse of Chucky). But the key was that so long as you treated Chucky well, which is to say hired him, paid him, respected his powers, your team was blessed and would overacheive. Trade the Chucky though, disrespect the Chucky, and you were toast the next season, which is no problem for me because I have no intention of ever doing so. Chucky Brown's dessicated corpse will be the 12th man on my Kings 60 years from now. We picked up Chucky for some extra karma down the stretch of the 01-02 season and responded with our best record and deepest playoff run in team history. We then foolishly let him go in the offseason, and were punished in '02-03 with a tremendous rash of injuries culminating in Webb blowing out his knee. That Chucky karma = powerful stuff. And its going to be working FOR me. I cannot lose.

A Primer On The Curse of Chucky

 

[R2D2]

With their 13th pick and the 152nd overall pick in the 2010 All Time Sacramento Kings Draft the “Droids for Clunkers” select

Devin “The Celebrity” Gray, All around player, 6’7’’, 230, made from sugar spice and everything nice.
Season: 1996-97. 3gms 8.3min 2.7pts (.273 .000 .500) 3.0reb 0.7ast 0.1stl 0.0blk 0.0TO
Here comes my last towel waver. Joining Natt and McDaniel on my team’s special unit, a.k.a. “SCRappy Uber BenchwarmerS” (SCRUBS). At least I am getting a name no one will ever forget. The guy that made up for all those hard losses we had to endure while sitting in the Arco. Every time he stepped on the court fans went chanting wildly “We Homers Offer ourselves - Revenge Us” (WHO R U). All his teammates remember him from the locker room as the Friend And Iso Legend (FAIL) he was. Our opponents dreaded him. For most teams in the NBA he became known as the guy who Dunked In Dreams and Never Once Turned His Iris till the eNd of Games (DID NOTHING).
We all know what he’s done for basketball, but don't call him a legend. Just call him Devin Gray.
I could not be happier, as were the team’s dance girls when he came out of the showers after every game (see picture).
With that the “Droids for Clunkers” rest.

 

[Jespher]

With a front court rotation set and a team full of gunners, I'm going to add one more back court piece. With my 12th pick, I select:

Will Solomon 6'2" G
('08-09) -- 14gms 12.0min 5.0pts (.406 .448 .500) .7ast 1.5reb .5stl 0blk .36TO

Will-i-am can come in and light it up with the up tempo bench unit, can play either guard spot, and force some turnovers to ignite the fast break game. Sure he's only going to play in garbage time (about 14 games...) but he's another good character veteran for this rock solid team. Chemistry (and speed) kills .
[yt=King Solomon]2kQHTgQNLsU[/yt]
More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Solomon

 

[Bricklayer]

Okay, I will update board in a bit -- but I would like to announce we will go ahead wiht the 14th round idea. So upon uolj taking Mr. irrelevant, he immediately gets to kick off the goofy round.

 

[MassachusettsKingsFan]

Waited for my last pick to take a Coach. I would have had to take one earlier, but some kind soul already guarenteed me that I wouldnt be stuck with Natt.

Last Pick - Eric Musselman (2006-2007)

Muss went 33-49 that year. When you look at things now, that record doesnt seem so bad. That team wasnt very good...absolutely not a playoff team, and the record proved that. He's young, so maybe I can pull the 'has potential' card here. Im sure he'll get another shot somewhere. Lets just not mention the DUI right before the season started. He does some work for fox sports radio now.. everytime I hear him on there he sounds smart. Excellent Power Point guy too ... not sure how that translates into the NBA, but if it was good enough for the Maloofs, its good enough for me.

 

[Capt. Factorial]

And MassKingFan has determined my coach for me:

Rex Hughes (22-35)

I can't really complain about Hughes. He did a lot better job, recordwise, than either his predecessor (Motta) or his successor (St. Jean) did in the seasons surrounding his - if my simplistic calculations are correct, he was worth 4 wins a season, by far the best of any Kings coach (even Adelman).

Sorry, but I can't find any pictures...I'll try later, but get the draft moving.

 

[uolj]

Ok, so looking at my team I was having a hard time finding any holes. (Don't laugh, just go along with it.) But then it jumped out at me. My team is horrible at free throws. Eight of the 11 players I have shot 70% or worse for their selected year. My best free throw shooter is over seven feet tall and wears a mullet. This is a major problem.

So what to do about it? At this late juncture, I don't think I could find someone to solve the problem for the whole game. But what about late in games, in the fourth quarter when it really counts? What can I do when we absolutely need to make a free throw? Then it hit me. When one of my atrocious free throw shooters gets fouled at a critical juncture of the game, I will advise my coach to instruct him to feign injury or elbow the opposing team's star in the face and require a replacement shooter to be picked by the opposing team's coach from our bench. Then all I need is a twelfth man who can sit at the end of the bench for 45 minutes, and then come in ice cold and calmly sink game clinching free throws.

I think we all know who fits that bill. He is my final (player) pick. He is Mr. Irrelevant. He is...





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Jabari Smith 2003-2004

Important Stats

2/2 FT when called into the game by the opposing coach to replace an ejected player.


Full Stats (regular season):

('03-04) -- 31gms 5.4min 2.1pts (.371 .000 .600) 1.0reb 0.4ast 0.1stl 0.2blk 0.2TO

Season   G  	GS  	MP  	FG  	FGA  	FG%  	3P  	3PA  	3P%  	FT  	FTA  	FT%  	ORB  	DRB  	TRB  	AST  	STL  	BLK  	TOV  	PF  	PTS
2003-04  31  	0  	5.4  	0.8  	2.3  	.371  	0.0  	0.1  	.000  	0.4  	0.6  	.600  	0.4  	0.6  	1.0  	0.4  	0.1  	0.2  	0.2  	0.8  	2.1

 

[uolj]

Gary Gerould 1985-Present

Well, I figure Jabari has enough goofy in him to allow me to go a little straighter with this pick, so I feel comfortable picking my favorite non-player/non-coach. I've listened to Gerould for just about the entire 25 years of his tenure as the Kings' play by play man. I feel lucky to grab him to do the play by play for this fake team.

Entering his 25th season with the Kings and having called 1,900 Kings games, Gary Gerould has been the "Voice of the Kings" since the team's arrival in Sacramento (1985) as radio play-by-play announcer on the club's flagship station KHTK (1140 AM). Gerould is widely considered one of the best play-by-play announcers in all of sports broadcasting. Game 7 of the 2004 Western Conference Semifinals versus Minnesota marked Gerould's 1,500th Kings broadcast. He is among the top five in longevity among NBA broadcasters.

...

 

[Capt. Factorial]

Well, the nice thing about the little "blip in the snake" during the third round is that it puts me up at the beginning of the silly round. I may have a bit of a reputation around these parts regarding one particular member of Kings personnel...but I'm not going to further that reputation here.

I present to you my TV analyst, sideline reporter and face of my franchise: Kayte Christensen.

Despite her, shall we say, abrupt termination this summer, Kayte was becoming a pretty good sideline reporter, and she was already a very good analyst. Of all of our TV analysts, my two favorite have both come with similar credentials: The WNBA.

Kayte analyzed the game so well because she knew the game so well. She was one of a very select population of women who were so good that they have been paid to play it.

And on top of her broadcasting skills, she's very easy on the eyes (though if I've got an open radio slot, I'm sticking her in there, too).

Welcome to the Sacramento Bring'erbacks, Kayte!

 

[Warhawk]

Nice choice Cap't ! !!!

 

[Emma]

Capt ! knows what he did just then. Very smart man.

 

[MassachusettsKingsFan]

This is such a hard round for me. Being a Kings fan thousands of miles away, you lose some of the things that would make a pick in this round "cool". Ive never been to Sacramento .. I have no roots to the city besides the team, so outside of media and guys who work for the team, I cant really think outside the box in a round like this.

Kayte would have been a good choice .. but I guess I'll go with a more professional choice.

Geoff Petrie

Almost, if not already legendary GM of the Sacramento Kings. Been with the team since 1994 I believe, and took this team places it had never been before. Had some bumps a long the way .. every GM does, but at the end of the day ( or at the end of the last 15 years ) He's been a very good GM, and still one of the best in the league today.

I dont think he'll get the credit he deserves around here until after he leaves and we see how bad his replacement is. The Rick Adelman effect. The grass is always greener ..

Not sure what he'll bring to my team in this draft... but hes a good guy with a good understanding of the game, former player, current GM .. hes been around the game for his entire life.

 

[uolj]

Somehow I didn't even think of Petrie until I had almost finished my write-up of Gerould, but once I did I had to stop and think about whether I should switch it up. In the end I convinced myself that I didn't need another GM (since that's what I'm supposed to be here) but really I just didn't feel like doing another write-up.

 

[Jespher]

With my final choice I'm adding premier home court advantage and a healthy dose of Arco Thunder! With my 13th pick, I select:

Arco Arena (Circa 2002-2003)

With it's record setting attendance figures, cowbell touting hardcore fans, and college-like atmosphere, there is really no place better to take in a Kings game than a packed, rocking Arco Arena. Home court advantage this good gives my team an extra 5-10 wins out of heart and hustle alone. I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!
[yt=Arco Thunder]ykrmxl54tvo&feature=related[/yt]
[yt=Cowbell]_qWCOJPwdXw[/yt]
More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARCO_Arena
http://www.arcoarena.com/

 

[R2D2]

With our final pick we take

VF 21

This was my most obvious decision of them all.
Why?
First of all because it's a family tradition. I might be picking one but getting a lot of members with her. Second, because for me basketball is all about the fans. And anyone here long enough knows that we might sometime forget our dearest's birthdays (oops...) but we will never forget to make sure that they wear the right colors and chant the right songs. With my final pick I have all I am looking for – devotion, love for the team and an unbiased homer voice (is that possible?).
Welcome to the "Droids for Clunkers". We hope you like our team. We are honored to have your (#6) shirt hanging from the rafters…​