The Early Years, Part 1:
In the beginning, a long time ago, in a basement far far away...
Little Lenny and his friend Stevie sat relaxing after a marathon afternoon of Dungeons & Dragons, in which Lenny's dwarven druid Dumbledain had just bravely defeated a pack of rabid dryads led by Gnara, the evil goose goddess of gonarrhea. And brie.
Suddenly, a strange and wonderful being appeared! A space dog who just so happened to be an evil genius as well!
Lenny bravely stepped forward to smite the evil dog with his +1 oaken cudgel...until he remembered that he did not actually have a +1 oaken cudgel, at which point he quickly sat back down. The evil space dog laughed manically, and began to whisper in the children's ears. Promises of booty and bootay rolled off its tongue.
The children listened, and grew excited. All this and more could be theirs if they just signed over 3/4 of everything they earned (gross of course) to the strange little dog as their "manager". Over the course of the next thirty seconds the evil dog explained to them everything he felt they needed to know about the 324 page contract. At 4:01pm, excited and inspired, Lenny and Stevie signed the document in their own blood.
"Muhahahahahaha!" laughed the evil dog. "But if I, er...you, are to truly rule the world, we must make some
changes."
"First, we work on your image!"