Grades v. Grizz 03/27

What exciting critter should be added to the Pretty Girls theme?

  • Platypus

    Votes: 5 11.4%
  • Toad

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Warthog

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Tasmanian Devil

    Votes: 8 18.2%
  • Llama

    Votes: 3 6.8%
  • Capybara

    Votes: 4 9.1%
  • Manatee

    Votes: 5 11.4%
  • Hummingbird

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yak

    Votes: 3 6.8%
  • Screw this animal stuff -- I want another pretty girl!

    Votes: 16 36.4%

  • Total voters
    44
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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Staff member
#1
Impressive!

And no arguments about it -- you lose to the Memphis Grizzlies, at home, while fully healthy, and after 4 days off to prepare, its automatic Pretty Girls. You manage to fall 23 down to them at one point and end up still on the edges of blowout city against them by losing by 18, it should by all rights be Pretty Girls Gone Wild. But in respect of our board culture, I will refrain. So theme = Buncha Pretty Girls and an Animal to be Named Later

Cisco ( C+ ) -- in quick foul trouble in this one guarding Gay, and after returning in the second quarter did very little before half, although he did have a couple of nice little drop off passes. For some reason seemed to be winning the mental battle against Gay in the third, which was odd considering that Gay was rather emphatically winning the physical battle. Not sure what the defensive scheme was tonight (I rarely am) but Cisco was down inside a lot and finished second of the team on rebounds as we, you guessed it, got crunched again on the glass. Also ended up having to try to stop Grizzlies power players in there on more than one occasion, and at 6'7" and weighing less than Paris Hilton (he's a better actor too) that just was not going to work. Of course did his its the 4th in a meaningless game so I'll hit a three routine, but it led nowhere and finished the night with a grand total of 10pts.

Ana de la Reguera -- apparently the hottie from Nacho Libre? Have not seen. How can people possibly complain about a thread with her in it?

Thompson ( B+ ) -- had himself a favorable matchup from the beginning against the undersized and undertalented Darrel Arthur and did exactly what you should try to do against a smaller weaker opponent -- went right after him in the early going and overwhelmed him with size. Actually eventually chased Arthur from the game and got to face a lot of Hakeem Warrick, who is also ludicrously undersized but who has developed a few SF type skills to try to compensate and caused Jason problems with his offense (shocker). Still a strong first half -- got his inevitable offensive foul, threw a really bad crosscourt pass, but mostly just waded into the action inside and pushed the Grizz's midget excuses for PFs out of the way. Had a burst of scoring against a constantly out of position Grizz defense in the early 3rd and was one of the main catalysts of our inevitable faux hustle "comeback" (you know you are a bad team when your amazing comebacks rarely get you any closer than 10 pts down). Slowed down therafter though, and finally fouled out in the last few minutes as he struggled to contend with Gasol's power inside. Wait'll he meets Shaq next game.

Kristin Kreuk -- Neutragena model and actress Kristin Kreuk. Was Lana Lang on Smallville, which raises the question Lois who?

Hawes ( D ) -- apparently the 4 days off acted as a nice cooler for Spencer's hot streak, because this was considerably worse than the not very good numebrs make it seem. Got into early foul trouble and was not getting much done against the slug-power of Marc Gasol. At least able to play a little in the 3rd without fouls, and nabbed a few boards. Unable to get anything goign on offense though, and Gasol's 3rd quarter sluggishness looked to be more about the box of doughnuts he scarfed at halftime than Spencer. Once he had digested a little and got the sugar rush, he began ponderously pummeling us inside again. Spencer got some garbagetimey hoops in the final couple of minutes after Jason fouled out to pad the stats, but this was basically a 4pt 6reb type effort while the game was kind of on, with foul trouble, and with Spencer's not quite HOF caliber opposing center slowly chugging to a 27pt 5reb butt whooping.

Maxim Roy -- bilingual Canadian actress Maxim Roy

Martin ( B+ ) -- our best player for most of the night, but this was not without its warts. In general when you start to see the empty one dimensional boxscore numbers from Kevin (tonight it was 31pts 0rebs and 2ast) watch out -- bad Kevin can be the Reggie Evans of scorers and put up a bunch of points with almost no impact. This was not quite that though, as noted below. Was quiet early as we fell behind, but began to pick up points as the quarter went along. Scored consistently through the second quarter as basically our only scorer, but it was back to bad, univolved off in his own world Kevin. Got his points, did not look interested in anything else. Had a big third though. Killed OJ Mayo until they finally had to pull him, and here was the exception to the bad Kevin rule -- Mayo was completely ineffective on both sides of the ball. If you are suddenly envisioning an image of Kevin up and smothering Mayo with aggressive defense, well, shame on you, you should know better. But he was at least around enough that Mayo would have had to wake up from his game long nap to score on him, and that in itself is something in Kevin's case. Mayo's awfulness should not be underestimated tonight, because once Quinton Ross replaced him the party shut down abruptly and Kevin was very quiet in the late 3rd and 4th (Ross also canned two big threes in those minutes and I think outscored Kevin after entering). I have enough despite for doing nothing else but putting up empty scoring numbers while your team gets blown off the floor by one of the league's worst squads that this would have been a 31pt B, but holding one of the league's best rookies to a non-existent 6pt 4ast night and chasing him from the game by the end of the third is enough to regain some of that lost ground.

Taylor Swift -- country/pop princess and on the rise hottie Taylor Swift.
 
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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Staff member
#2
Udrih ( D ) -- The Grizzlies no doubt thought they had figured out an unbeatable tanking strategy with a starting lineup younger than most of the teams still left in the NCAA tournament. And then we unleashed Beno on them and all their hopes were dashed. Muhahahahaha! To say that Beno was producing nothing at all in the early going would be an insult to nothing at all. Conley was doing pretty much anything he wanted, and Beno was...I dunno. Its hard to explain Beno's nights like these, but basically he just becomes a complete non-entity. We should get one of those ghost hunting shows out there, because I'm pretty sure Beno may become non-corporeal when his head is not into the game for whatever reason. Woke up enough to make a couple of good passes as the second quarter wound down, but none of them led to baskets and the entire half was really a complete wipeout by a player who is just not that good -- Conley averages 10pts 3reb 4ast, he had 14, 4 and 5 by halftime against Beno, and Beno himself responded with...0, 0 and a big fat 0. Beno evened the matchup out a little in the 3rd as he used his size advantage to push through Conley and get to his spots, setting up the offense and Jason in particular as we put together our run. But that was it, and with BJax emasculated (eMASKulated, get it?) by his mask, and Solomon apparently in the doghouse for his ridiculous Kobeesque gunning of late, for most of the night we had no PG at all out there.

Dawn Olivieri -- could not find a better pic of actress Dawn Olivieri without the big ole copyright right across the middle of it, so I guess everybody should go er, visit Mike van Cleven and buy something from him or something. I'm not stealing dude, I'm celebrating.

Nocioni ( B ) -- back from the long break spent making grumpy comments to the press to play a grumpy game that in no way bled over to the rest of the largely passive team. In the final seconds of the 1st hit a corner three courtesy of Bobby, and then came up with a block on Rudy Gay at the buzzer to save a hoop. Began to really get under the Grizz's skin in the 4th, when he got into it with several Grizzlies, flopped, argued, and even without doing a whole bunch statistically was an irrtiant out there. Had a couple of nice drives, hit two threes, but missed the open one that might have really put pressure on the Grizz. Did not, however, despite the scrap, grab any rebounds. At all. And on a night when our, ahem, notoriously hardworking and scrappy backcourt duo combiend for exactly zero, having our 6th man/smallball PF contribute 0 as well just sealed our fate on the glass.

Simon Baker -- of The Mentalist. Hey, do not think I have forgotten the obligatory hot guy. And just so there is no complaining, my search term to turn up this choice: "Hottest dude"

Booth ( C ) -- showed decent mobility out there on a couple of drives, but largely put together a very Mikkiish outing for us of the 2pts 1reb variety. Early on was at least impeding Gasol as well as Hawes was, which is to say not well, but that faded and if this were someone competent I would be knocking this grade down. As is, well...sometimes the Boothman just likes to play possum you know? If he were consistently to play full out he would just send the rest of the league's bigmen into permanent depression, and he has more compassion than that. So he lurks...and he waits. And one day, when the Boothman feels the calling...you'll see!

Carla Gugino -- One for Slim. Carla Gugino of Sin City, and now The Watchmen with her arresting...eyes.

BJax ( D ) -- well, I already burned my eMASKulated joke earlier, but that really kind of felt like the case here. Bobby was back, but Bobby wasn't back. In early in relief of the incompetent Beno and made a nice pass to Noc at the end of the first quarter. But that was kind of all he did -- looked very drab out there with the mask on. Got little accomplished, no inspiration, no real hustle plays, and finsished the night with 0pts on 0-3 shooting. Which of course is exactly what I asked of Bobby if he was going to insist on coming back, so maybe this one is on me. In any case, nothing game, but first game back, playing with a mask and a broken cheek, and Marko Jaric isn't exactly lighting anybody up (aside from Adriana I guess), so as with the rest of the putzes tonight I find reason to hold the grade up a bit.

Michelle Monaghan -- the very cute Michelle Monaghan
 
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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Staff member
#3
Greene ( B- ) -- was a little smarter and able to draw some fouls in the 2nd attacking the rim that helped us inch closer, but did not forget to get up his obligatory 3pt bricks either. Forgotten about after half as the Nattster decided it was winnin' time baby.

Jennifer Beals -- I stumbled across this old pic a while back, and was inspired to add Ms. Beals to a future Pretty Girls theme -- she was really really cute back in the day (this is the iconic cover photo for 1983's Flashdance for you young'uns).


Then I stumbled across this photo from 25 years later and decided it needed to be included as well as a lovely guide on how to age gracefully.

McCants ( C ) -- briefly had some impact upon entering in the 2nd just through aggression and a willingness to stick his nose in there. But it slipped away and you barely noticed him out there for the remainder of his minutes, which were not many. Hardest player on our roster to make my mind up about. His aggression and physciality have impressed me ever since he has been in town, especially when compared to our other options at OG. But...and there is always that killer word with Rashad. But...

Tasmanian Devil -- ok, well technically the "just give me another pretty girl" option was winning at the time I made these grades, so I guess the extra pic of Ms. Beals can apply to that. Amongst the animals, it was the lovely Tazmanian Devil, which can almost look cute in certain shots. Almost. That is if cute for you = voracious screeching big *** carnivorous rodent (and yes I know it is a marsupial, not a rodent). Oh, and don't forget the stench -- when upset they release a musk that has been compared to skunk musk in pugency. Random factoid -- these little charmers actually have the most powerful bite of any mammal. More powerful than a lion, than a bear, than a bunny rabbit, numero uno. And they use that bite to make pigs of themselves -- when they eat something, they do notmess around. They eat everything. The entire carcass. Flesh, fur, organs, bones -- all they leave behind is a stain in the ground. Big thing with them right now is that they are in danger of being wiped out, and for once its not because of us. For the last decade they have been ravaged by a very scary disease called devil facial tumour disease, which is, get this, a form of transmissible cancer passed from face to face whenever devils meet. Its wiped out half the population already, and they are starting to take desperation measures to try to stop it before it finishes off the whole species in the next few years.


And of course the far more popular version of the Tasmanian Devil. Notice the tongue hanging out at the sight of all the pretty girls.
 
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#6
Impressive!

And no arguments about it -- you lose to the Memphis Grizzlies, at home, while fully healthy, and after 4 days off to prepare, its automatic Pretty Girls. You manage to fall 23 down to them at one point and end up still on the edges of blowout city against him, it should by all rights be Pretty Girls Gone Wild. But in respect of our board culture, I will refrain. So theme = Buncha Pretty Girls and an Animal to be Named Later

yes, it will be coming...
C'mon Brickie, just for once have an all Guy's theme.
 
S

sactownfan

Guest
#9
Yeah brick i like the funny witty grades way more than just the girls... i mean girls are good but i'd rather laugh...
 

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Staff member
#10
An original grades theme can take several hours of effort to put together. If I'm going to put in that kind of time and effort, I expect to see some from the guys out on the court first. Otherwise pretty girls are quick, easy, and nice to look at. Much nicer than the product on the floor.
 

VF21

#KingsFansForever
Staff member
#11
An original grades theme can take several hours of effort to put together. If I'm going to put in that kind of time and effort, I expect to see some from the guys out on the court first. Otherwise pretty girls are quick, easy, and nice to look at. Much nicer than the product on the floor.
Now that's just diabolical and yet cunning in its validity. No wonder you became a lawyer.

...sigh...
 
#12
An original grades theme can take several hours of effort to put together. If I'm going to put in that kind of time and effort, I expect to see some from the guys out on the court first. Otherwise pretty girls are quick, easy, and nice to look at. Much nicer than the product on the floor.
Very true. Bring on the pretty girls :D
 

Warhawk

The cake is a lie.
Staff member
#15
Llamas, since you didn't have a moose listed....




Directed by

40 SPECIALLY TRAINED

ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS

6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS

142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS

14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS

(CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA)

REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON

76000 BATTERY LLAMAS

FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY

and

TERRY GILLIAM AND TERRY JONES


:p
 

CruzDude

Senior Member sharing a brew with bajaden
#18
I voted for the Manatee. They, like the Kings, just lay around all the time not trying to defend them selves and constantly getting run over by power boats (other team metaphor). :mad:
 
#20
With Taylor Swift and all of these fugly animals catching my attention I feel very dirty.

This is kind of wrong right here.
 
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