Tetsujin
The Game Thread Dude
KingsFans.com Official Game Thread
Game -8
Sacramento Kings @ Toronto Raptors IN VANCOUVER
By Stephen Tetsu, KingsFans.com Semi-Official Game Thread WriterGame -8
Sacramento Kings @ Toronto Raptors IN VANCOUVER

This still doesn't mean I'm over 2002.
Hello hello and welcome to yet another season of Kings basketball, the only thing that'll give you worse indigestion than PizzaGuys pizza. When we last left off, Vivek Ranadive had bought the team and Sacramento, unhampered by Maloof antics, finally was able to start work on the downtown arena of its dreams. Also, we traded most of the roster, got really tired of IT's PizzaGuys commercials, finally acquired a bonafide #2 guy, and watched Demarcus Cousins go from "Guy famous for punching Vince Carter in the little Vince" to being in the argument for top 3 big men in the league. And that was just during the season.
This offseason was not nearly as eventful as the last one (thankfully). Instead of constant stories about the Maloofs looking to move the team to any city with a population over 300 people, the Kings fan base was able to focus on offseason basketball, something that actually proved to be fun as the summer league team somehow managed to claim the Vegas championship despite at one point starting Derrick Williams at center and Demarcus and Rudy played crucial roles with Team USA, Demarcus arguably being the most impactful player in the Gold Medal game at the FIBA tourney.
Yes, it's been a good summer overall, even if Pete D'Allesandro didn't pull the trigger on any major moves like many on these forums hoped or expected he would. In lieu of the gigantic blockbuster move, the roomer Denver GM pulled off a series of low-key moves that, while not particularly exciting, still should help the team's overall depth, dumping IT for a Darren Collison/Ramon Sessions combo, trading Jason Terry, Travis Outlaw, and Quincy Acy for essentially nothing, drafting Nik Stauskas to provide some more SG depth and shooting, signing Ryan Hollins, and bringing in Summer League stalwart Eric Moreland as a developmental project meant to help us finally find a big man who isn't scared of defending the rim.
Anyone still confused about the roster can check it out on the Kings official website (LINK HERE), where you will find that every single person on the Kings roster except for David Wear (who has a 0% chance of making the team anyways) is now sporting some degree of facial hair, ranging from Reggie Evans's trademark jailyard crazy person beard straight down to Nik Stauskas's "I forgot to shave this morning" hipster flycatcher. Also, everyone on the roster except for Reggie Evans appears to be pretty bad at forcing a smile (and in Reggie's case, it may just be a case of the weight of his beard forcing his lower lip to droop into the position of a natural grin).
Yes. Kings basketball is back (kind of) and I couldn't be happier.
Of course, this entire game thread comes with a gigantic Sim Bhullar-sized asterisk as it's both the first game of the preseason AND not being televised in Sacramento. As such, I'm not going to do the usual features + awards and stuff thing. Because it's preseason and everyone's half-assing it. Even your game thread writer.
PS: LINKS TO STREAMS ARE ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN, EVEN IF IT'S PRESEASON AND CSN IS BEING A BUNCH OF DOODOO HEADS.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is Slim's full post on the matter. FOLLOW THE RULES OR FLOGGINGS WILL ENSUE.
Thank you and GO KINGS.