edwardyoung111
G-League
Dateline Sacramento
April 1, 2018
from: Sacramento Kings Media Department
Saying it was time to speak truth to power and treat the fans like "the cretins they are", Vlade Divac today announced that Mike Bratz had been fired as Scouting Director Of the Sacramento Kings for "Delinquency of Duty" specifically related to his trip to Serbia last year, a time when he imbibed large quantities of wormwood before meeting with and personally attempting to measure the height of eventual Kings signee Bogdon Bogdonovich.
"Mike got confused, due to extreme inebriation", explained the Kings GM, "and he measured the wrong Bogdonovich".
Bratz reportedly measured Bojan Bogdonovich, then an NBA free agent who the Kings were considering signing. Although he topped out at 6'9", Bratz mistakenly turned the second nine upside down and filed a report that listed Bojan at 6'6".
Compounding his mistake, and finding himself in a purple haze of wormwood poisoning, Bratz replaced the "J" in Bogdonovich's first name with a "GD" and filed his report before lapsing into a six day coma.
By the time the mistake was discovered, Bogdon Bogdonovich was signed to a three year contract for $8 million per year and his height was reported to Basketball Reference" as 6'6".
Basketball reference accordingly published his height in a format that cannot be altered, due to what is being decribed as "The Certainty Of The Internet", as seen here:
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/b/bogdabo01.html
After becoming suspicious upon the lesser Bogdonovich's arrival in the City Of Bees, Divac called Bratz in and asked him to explain himself.
Bratz, still obviously hung over, continually muttered "if Six Was Nine" before being shown the door.
After hoping that "no one would notice" Divac was forced to take action after Saturday night's home game with the Warriors, when Jack Cooley asked him, "If Bogi is 6'6, how come I am so much taller than him?"
Cooley is 6'6" himself, although a possible discrepancy in his measurement at the NBA combine involving either Parest or Optimil is being investigated.
After meeting with Cooley, Divac personally measured Bogdon and found him to be 6'3 1/4 ".
Bratz is reportedly in hiding and has applied for the Witless Protection Pogrom".
April 1, 2018
from: Sacramento Kings Media Department
Saying it was time to speak truth to power and treat the fans like "the cretins they are", Vlade Divac today announced that Mike Bratz had been fired as Scouting Director Of the Sacramento Kings for "Delinquency of Duty" specifically related to his trip to Serbia last year, a time when he imbibed large quantities of wormwood before meeting with and personally attempting to measure the height of eventual Kings signee Bogdon Bogdonovich.
"Mike got confused, due to extreme inebriation", explained the Kings GM, "and he measured the wrong Bogdonovich".
Bratz reportedly measured Bojan Bogdonovich, then an NBA free agent who the Kings were considering signing. Although he topped out at 6'9", Bratz mistakenly turned the second nine upside down and filed a report that listed Bojan at 6'6".
Compounding his mistake, and finding himself in a purple haze of wormwood poisoning, Bratz replaced the "J" in Bogdonovich's first name with a "GD" and filed his report before lapsing into a six day coma.
By the time the mistake was discovered, Bogdon Bogdonovich was signed to a three year contract for $8 million per year and his height was reported to Basketball Reference" as 6'6".
Basketball reference accordingly published his height in a format that cannot be altered, due to what is being decribed as "The Certainty Of The Internet", as seen here:
https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/b/bogdabo01.html
After becoming suspicious upon the lesser Bogdonovich's arrival in the City Of Bees, Divac called Bratz in and asked him to explain himself.
Bratz, still obviously hung over, continually muttered "if Six Was Nine" before being shown the door.
After hoping that "no one would notice" Divac was forced to take action after Saturday night's home game with the Warriors, when Jack Cooley asked him, "If Bogi is 6'6, how come I am so much taller than him?"
Cooley is 6'6" himself, although a possible discrepancy in his measurement at the NBA combine involving either Parest or Optimil is being investigated.
After meeting with Cooley, Divac personally measured Bogdon and found him to be 6'3 1/4 ".
Bratz is reportedly in hiding and has applied for the Witless Protection Pogrom".
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