Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

[jalfa]

Okay, so everybody knows this situation from many superhero movies. The hero of the film will be forced to choose between the life of his love and that of a busload of strangers. Mostly, because superhero movies are generally predictable and not very good, he gets to save both of them. Well, with me, it's going to be pretty much the same, only neither am I in a Hollywood movie, nor do I have any means of beating those that force me to do the decisions. So, with the eigth pick, I select choices of life and death.

To clarify, the choices will not only force me to judge the worth of the lives of friends against that of total strangers. Most of the time it will be just random people, with a bit of background information, just enough to force me to rationalise, which is probably the most disgusting thing you're able to do. Will you save the life of the old lady that wouldn't have that much longer to live? Will you save the life of the kid from a third-world country, whose life will in all likelihood suck? It's revolting and it will be everything I do, whenever I want a break from rolling this rock up the hill, because, see, that's the next problem. I myself will be the one deciding that the physical exercise of my Sisyphean task is too much and I need a break, where I can just relax and kill some people. Of course, I will, after making my choice, get to see exactly what this choice entails, as the murder itself will be shown to me and the faces of mourning people flash before my eyes, whilst I detest myself for not being able to continue with my damn rock. And yes, Big Brother *will* make sure I love every single second of it.

 

[GeraldWallace#3]

sorry bout the holdup guys I was at Magic Mountain the last couple days.

Always Raining Urine(My Suana has a little hole on top so the unrine can get in slowly but surely )

 

[GeraldWallace#3]

I am Paralyzed from head to toe


I cannot move at all I just stay in my suana seat all day.

 

[Jespher]

This is seriously getting stupid! We're all drafting relatively the same things, but with different wording...

I'm not sure when the no verbs rule will be enforced either. Was that thrown out the window long ago?

 

[Bricklayer]

This draft is such a mess, and I really have no idea what I want to do here, so I'm going to cheat:

Nails on a Chalkboard, Piped in 24/7

I cheat here on two fronts: first of all this may be the second or even third time I have made this selection, depending on how you feel about The Hoff as a musician or Roseanne as anything but a horrible genetic mistake. Secondly, I submit here a bit to all the "generalized things that would suck" dumbness, as I am one of those who does not truly find this sound excruciating. Although having to hear it 24/7 for eternity might well do the trick.

 

[vikinginferno]

I am Paralyzed from head to toe


I cannot move at all I just stay in my suana seat all day.

Isnt that basically my locked-in syndrome pick? No offense guys but the point of a draft is that when someone chooses your pick to make a completely different pick, not the same one but worded differently.

 

[Warhawk]

This draft is such a mess, and I really have no idea what I want to do here, so I'm going to cheat:

Nails on a Chalkboard, Piped in 24/7

I cheat here on two fronts: first of all this may be the second or even third time I have made this selection, depending on how you feel about The Hoff as a musician or Roseanne as anything but a horrible genetic mistake. Secondly, I submit here a bit to all the "generalized things that would suck" dumbness, as I am one of those who does not truly find this sound excruciating. Although having to hear it 24/7 for eternity might well do the trick.

This was on my list as well. Good choice.

 

[Warhawk]

Isnt that basically my locked-in syndrome pick? No offense guys but the point of a draft is that when someone chooses your pick to make a completely different pick, not the same one but worded differently.

I would think that yes, they are the same (or similar enough). Up to the moderator to make the call.

 

[VF21]

This is seriously getting stupid! We're all drafting relatively the same things, but with different wording...

I'm not sure when the no verbs rule will be enforced either. Was that thrown out the window long ago?

I think you guys are missing the real concept here...

If you're creating your own island of pain and misery, you might well have something incredibly similar to something someone else has picked. When it comes around to voting, I think people will be looking at the total effect of the combined miseries...

I mentioned before that I thought this was going to be a problem since some of you are being very specific - which is what I thought the whole point of the draft was to begin with - and some of you were more environmental. I think my use of that phrase was wrong; I think it should have been that some of you were working with categories while others chose specific items within categories.

Personally, I think the category concept is wrong and an attempt to limit way too many choices that might be similar. But that's just my two cents.

Bottom line? At this point, I think you're pretty much stuck with living with the various permutations of earlier choices. And for the record? I agree with Warhawk... I think being paralyzed is the same as the same as "locked-in syndrome."

EDIT: I re-read the "locked-in syndrome" and changed my point above. I DO agree with Warhawk.

 

[SLAB]

Sorry GeraldWallace#3 I'm going to overrule both picks.

Being Paralyzed is basically Locked-in Syndrome with different wording.

As for Raining Urine...That doesn't happen. We can't make things up for this draft. Picking "Raining Urine" could open he door to "Raining Knives" or "Raining 20 pound pieces of Lead"

AndMassachusetsKingsFan, the rapidly growing doesn't fly either after thought. Hair needs time to grow back. We can't have some magic 'powers' to make the island suck even more.

The picks have to be something from this earth.

 

[Emma]

Sorry GeraldWallace#3 I'm going to overrule both picks.

The picks have to be something from this earth.

You have just opened a crazy can of worms there. You may want to rethink that a little (Cthulu comes to mind).

 

[SLAB]

Ahhh bad wording.

Cthulu is a character from legend, and as per rules characters from movies/stories were all selectable.

selecting something weather-wise that can't/doesn't/will not ever happen opens up a new ridiculous hallway to go down.

When people start drafting "Raining Anvils" and justifying it as a selectable pick is the day I say cancel the draft, it's to far gone.

 

[SLAB]

Commissioner Notice ​

Remember this draft is indeed supposed to be stuff that is terrible. However this is slowly and steadily going towards out of control status. All picks up until now will stand, but lets review some of the rules.

If you pick a person/being: It NEEDS to be either a character from a book/movie or someone from real life. Essentially this is the most OPEN category that you as a picker can be choosing

If you choose a food/drink: It needs to be something from this world. Nothing from movies here, or nothing to be made up. There are only 2 picks dedicated to food/drink so stay in reality

If you choose an environment: Nothing that is either 'fake' or that is going to kill you. Ie: You can not choose something like raining boulders to slam your island. That does NOT happen, and will never happen. Weather, the islands landscape, what surrounds the island, how your island is run is all acceptable unless it is out of this world or something that would kill.

If you pick an elaborate disease/parasite: First it needs to be real. Second justify it. Where does it come from? How do you contract it? How is it miserable without being killed by it?

Similar Picks: Double check your pick among other similar picks before posting what you have. If you have concerns, send a PM to me and I will send you my verdict.

And last: Make your picks semi-reasonable! Lets get away from the insanity and more 'close to home!'​

 

[MassachusettsKingsFan]

AndMassachusetsKingsFan, the rapidly growing doesn't fly either after thought. Hair needs time to grow back. We can't have some magic 'powers' to make the island suck even more.

Im not sure I follow you here, there have been other picks made involving things happening constantly or way to often then possible .. I dont think my pick here is any more unrealistic than some of the other picks that were made.

 

[D-Mass]

Good statement, SLAB...this draft had gotten just plain weird.

 

[SLAB]

Im not sure I follow you here, there have been other picks made involving things happening constantly or way to often then possible .. I dont think my pick here is any more unrealistic than some of the other picks that were made.

Which picks are you referencing?
Constant Migrianes/Hangovers/Cluster Headaches?

Im just guessing, but with those all you need is a head to feel some semblance of the pain incorporated with the pick.

However, since choosing Hair Ripped Out, you can only rip out hair if you HAVE hair! You can't magically be growing hair everytime it gets removed.

As improbable as it is to have a constant migraine or cluster headache, it is impossible to magically grow hair back at your own whim.

We need to get this back to a somewhat real and entertaining draft...

We have to rid this of magical body regeneration or random weather that sucks because it doesn't happen...

Good statement, SLAB...this draft had gotten just plain weird.

Indeed. Hopefully it changes this thing up!

 

[NoBonus]

I select to have that two part episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Arnold and his friend are molested by the bike shop guy to play a minimum of 3 times per day on an omnidirection jumbotron with surround sound. I always hated that episode... A funny show gone serious... WAY too serious... And the laugh tracks are all inappropriate... I hated that episode then and it stands as the single worst and most upsetting episodes of any show ever to me. I mean, c'mon... Arnold... The walking punchline gets molested! Horrible and disturbing.

 

[Jespher]

I've been falling down the crappy escalator for about a week, now, and frankly this sucks. I have barely gotten any sleep, and it has been very hard to eat anything, as the sewage has been splattered all across my cell. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm sore from the falls, and the electric shocks, and I just saw one of my best friends evicerated. Things couldn't get much worse. Fortunately, my cell stopped moving this morning. With my 8th pick I choose:

Weekly flooding with jellyfish infested water

So the good news is that every week I get to take a bath and wash all the sewage off myself and my cell. The bad news is that the bath involves complete flooding of my cell for a minute or two with jellyfish infested water. The water is refreshing until I can't breath for a minute, but that quickly goes away. The jellyfish unfortunately stick around for a couple days, and I get to bounce into them and their pesky stingers until they drown (in the air of my cell). Sure, they're pretty, but their sting is freakin painful, and they don't really have a lot of room to move around in my cell!

The pain from the stings is intense, but this species isn't potent enough to kill me, just hurt like a mother. The lack of sleep, Fibromyalgia, and bruises from the falls escalate the pain as well, so I feel them even more intensely! I can't eat the jellyfish either because they just sting my throat (believe me, I've tried and I won't be doing that again!). Fortunately, the corpses only stay in my cell for a week, as they are washed out with the next bathing session .

The bad drug trips magnify my fear of drowning during the bathing process, and I constantly have the feeling of being waterboarded. The jellyfish also appear as malignant Cthulhus during my psychedelic hallucinations, causing even stronger anxiety attacks and panics.

Signs and Symptoms:

Spoiler

• Symptoms include an intense, stinging pain, itching, rash, and raised welts.
• The progressive effects of a jellyfish sting may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, lymph node swelling, abdominal pain, numbness/tingling, difficulty breathing, and muscle spasms

More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jellyfish
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterboarding

 

[Warhawk]

jellyfish infested water

This one was next on my list - god pick.

 

[SLAB]

I chose Al Davis over some species of jellyfish hoping they would slip some more.
Nice one!

 

[MassachusettsKingsFan]

Which picks are you referencing?
Constant Migrianes/Hangovers/Cluster Headaches?

Im just guessing, but with those all you need is a head to feel some semblance of the pain incorporated with the pick.

However, since choosing Hair Ripped Out, you can only rip out hair if you HAVE hair! You can't magically be growing hair everytime it gets removed.

As improbable as it is to have a constant migraine or cluster headache, it is impossible to magically grow hair back at your own whim.

We need to get this back to a somewhat real and entertaining draft...

We have to rid this of magical body regeneration or random weather that sucks because it doesn't happen...

Those are some of the picks Im talking about .. but I was really talking about are the picks that need a constant 'reset' to be effective. For instance, In Jesphers tiny cell, flowing raw sewage is going to fill that baby up quite fast, drowing him in minutes .. Also with the constant earthquakes someone drafted .. over a short period of time there will be no island left whatsoever, I think my pick goes along those lines were all of these need to be reset in order to really work as picks .. same goes for the kidney stones ... Im just saying.

Anyways, where does this leave my pick?

 

[Jespher]

I chose Al Davis over some species of jellyfish hoping they would slip some more.
Nice one!

Thanx .

Those are some of the picks I'm talking about .. but I was really talking about are the picks that need a constant 'reset' to be effective. For instance, In Jespher's tiny cell, flowing raw sewage is going to fill that baby up quite fast, drowning him in minutes .. Also with the constant earthquakes someone drafted .. over a short period of time there will be no island left whatsoever, I think my pick goes along those lines were all of these need to be reset in order to really work as picks .. same goes for the kidney stones ... I'm just saying.

Anyways, where does this leave my pick?

In defense of my 3rd choice, I did specify that there is a pipe and drain for the raw sewage. My cell doesn't fill up because the sewage always has somewhere to go (down the drain). It just takes a little while for it to get to where it's going, and in the meantime I have to endure it (and eat it ).
[yt=The Re-Burger]MkTG6sGX-Ic&feature=related[/yt]

 

[EndGame]

For my pick, I will stick with the feces theme: I select to have no shoes and countless piles of dog poop.

I hate stepping in dog poop and there would be too many to avoid it... additionally, I would have no shoes making the experience that much worse...

 

[Warhawk]

Trying to figure out which direction to go next, but I think I will go with:

Island covered with Poison Ivy, and all the associated very severe allergic side effects thereof (persistent).

While I have personally never had poison ivy effects, I know several people who have and they describe a very painful condition, so I will go with this one. From wiki:

The reaction caused by poison ivy, urushiol-induced contact dermatitis, is an allergic reaction.

Poison ivy on a roadside



Urushiol binds to the skin on contact, where it causes severe itching that develops into reddish colored inflammation or non-colored bumps, and then blistering. In severe cases, clear fluids ooze from open blistered sores and corticosteroids are the necessary treatment.

If poison ivy is burned and the smoke then inhaled, this rash will appear on the lining of the lungs, causing extreme pain and possibly fatal respiratory difficulty. If poison ivy is eaten, the digestive tract, airway, kidneys or other organs can be damaged.

And from webmd:

The more urushiol you come in contact with, the more severe your skin reaction. Severe reactions to smaller amounts of urushiol also may develop in people who are highly sensitive to urushiol. Serious symptoms may include:

• Swelling of the face, mouth, neck, genitals, or eyelids (which may prevent the eyes from opening).
• Widespread, large blisters that ooze large amounts of fluid.

Of course I have no medical facilities or remedies on this island - I just have to suffer the consequences.

So we have rioting Laker fans burning everything in sight, so of course I will be inhaling it. And the oil will be getting on my escomales, so ingesting it will happen, too. I am so loving life on my island. Not.

 

[Bricklayer]

Trying to figure out which direction to go next, but I think I will go with:

Island covered with Poison Ivy, and all the associated very severe allergic side effects thereof (persistent).

While I have personally never had poison ivy effects, I know several people who have and they describe a very painful condition, so I will go with this one. From wiki:



And from webmd:



Of course I have no medical facilities or remedies on this island - I just have to suffer the consequences.

So we have rioting Laker fans burning everything in sight, so of course I will be inhaling it. And the oil will be getting on my escomales, so ingesting it will happen, too. I am so loving life on my island. Not.

Huh -- we have apparently been muddling through this one on the same wavelength -- seriously cosidered not only that choice but even using that very same picture before my last pick. Except it would have been B.S. like most of these choices: I've never been exposed to poison ivy so far as I recall. Has nothing to do with me besides reputation.

 

[Larry89]

Baby Mice Wine

WOOHOO ALCOHOL FINALLY.. Oh wait, what the hell is this?

 

[Warhawk]

Baby Mice Wine

WOOHOO ALCOHOL FINALLY.. Oh wait, what the hell is this?

Yeah, this was the other drink on my list, but I went in the other direction instead. Still a good choice.

 

[Jespher]

Vikinginferno has timed out ...

D-Mass is now on the clock for 2 picks. PM sent

 

[NME]

Baby Mice Wine

What is wrong with people that something like that exists?

 

[D-Mass]

Next up:

VAMPIRE BATS!

Don't get me wrong...I think bats are awesome. But I think sleeping at night might be a bit difficult with these hematophages flying around. From wikipedia:

Once the common vampire bat locates a host, such as a sleeping mammal, it lands and approaches it on the ground. These bats will even occasionally feed on humans. They are very agile and a recent study found that common vampire bats can, in addition to walk, run at speeds of up to 7.9 km per hour (4.9 miles per hour). They locate a suitable place to bite using their infrared sensors. If there is fur on the skin of the host, the common vampire bat uses its canine and cheek teeth like a barber's blades to shave away the hairs. The bat's razor-sharp upper incisor teeth then make a 7mm long and 8mm deep cut. The upper incisors lack enamel, which keeps them permanently razor sharp. The bat’s saliva, which is injected into the victim, has a key function in feeding from the wound. The saliva contains several compounds that prolong bleeding, such as anticoagulants that inhibit blood clotting, and compounds that prevent the constriction of blood vessels near the wound.