Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

SLAB · Jul 12, 2009

Just got word, and my pick is good to go!

Sleep Paralysis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

This is actually something that I semi-frequently suffer from. And it is NOT fun...

Picture this...You go to bed, and everything is a-okay. You fall asleep into a 'great' sleep on a miserable island.

Then you 'wake up.'
You try to move, and you just can't.

Your eyes can see everything in their radius, but you CANNOT move.

You then try to think about why you can't move, but your brain does NOT piece it together. Why can't you move?!

After about 10 minutes of this agony you wake up in a haze completely terrified until you realize what just happened.
You tell yourself it was 'Just Sleep Paralysis' and seem to be okay.

Then you go to sleep the next night, and in an "I don't want that to happen again," you attempt to stay awake only to succumb to sleep and repeat the process...

Awful.
And I can honestly vouch for that MYSELF.

jalfa · Jul 13, 2009

Sorry for the extended wait here, but I'm sort of in a masochist rut -meaning I'm having a hard time thinking of things to do to myself...nothing else- Well, anyway, since EndGmae only selected Spencer Pratt, I think the pick should be fine. As the only television program on my island, to be watched with my Balut breakfast, The Hills.

Some time ago, I was having pizza for lunch and, as I am a youth of the 21st century and am completely incapable of going through something as essential as eating without being entertained electronically, decided to watch TV then. This, I normally wouldn't do. German daytime television is abysmal (not that it gets any better in the evening, but I digress) and I tend to stay away from MTV productions as well, since they usually suck, and badly so. However, for some reason this notion of wanting to watch TV struck me. I believe it was because I was playing playstation before and the TV was still on. Be that as it may, I switched to MTV, figuring that the worst case scenario would be My Super Sweet Sixteen, which can be somewhat funny, when you see the show as a (succesful) attempt of the producers to make the kids look like the worst human beings possible.

Well, I was wrong, there was a scenario much worse than that, The Hills. I spent the next 30 minutes watching, stupefied, how the characters do...well...pretty much nothing to be quite honest. It appears to be just a bunch of white, wealthy, pretty people walking around in Los Angeles, having completely retarded conversations, while staring blankly in the faces of their opposites. I have never in my life seen such a cast of soulless, vacant human beings and the dialogue...oh the dialogue...I shall not get into it. I mean I could sort of understand it, if the show was some sort of weird art project with artificial characters that are supposed to demonstrate the evil inherent in today's society, but apparently it's a reality show with actual, real life people. Incredible.

You know how some people say that sometimes really horrible things are like a bad car accident, where you just can't avoid watching? Well, I felt very much like watching a car accident, only for some reason I was involved in it myself, looking on as my mind was obliterated.

Bricklayer · Jul 14, 2009

Ok, been delinquent here. Just a second.

Bricklayer · Jul 14, 2009

There will be no pleasure allowed on my island -- one for the guys:

Castrated

Unlike the other various mutilations taken in this draft, this one still allowes me to eat other people and drink...well haven't got there yet.

D-Mass · Jul 14, 2009

Bricklayer said:

Um...wow. I didn't think anyone would go there.

Ugh...

NoBonus · Jul 14, 2009

So with Cotton Candy as my only source of food, I will select my drink: super-sweet warm A&W Cream Soda.
A nice cold A&W cream soda occaisionally is good, but lacks the sort of flavor depth that makes it worth drinking much of; plus it is so sickening sweet, one can makes you feel ill... Also, like cotton candy, there is nothing I can do to this to change it's flavor or make something else from it. After about three cans of warm A&W Cream Soda, I would feel ill, but it is my only source of water, so I would likely need to drink a six pack each day minimum. Just thinking about this fate makes me want to vomit.

SLAB · Jul 14, 2009

Ugh. Your food/drink combo makes me cringe NoBonus.

Well done!

Jespher is on the clock.

Jespher · Jul 14, 2009

Cthulhu is such a monster! Not only is he tormenting me physically, he’s manipulating my psyche and toying with my emotions. I can’t tell what is real and what is hallucination any more. My amnesias are growing broader as my schizophrenia progresses, and I am having difficulty remembering which memories are my own, and which have been created and forced into my consciousness artificially. I’m so juiced up with chemicals that I really don’t have any idea what is going on.

My mind is lost, and I'm having a hard time differentiating between the physical, mental, and emotional pain delt to me by Cthulhu. My one mental escape is that I could take take solace in the fact that I'm the victim. But I'm not...Unfortunately, this whole environment is my own sick mental creation, and it has been perverted by Cthulhu to become my prison (At least I believe that's true...). I have caused the torture and death of my friends and family. I have caused my isolation and imprisonment. It's all my fault! With my 10th pick, I select:

Guilt

Of the 4 major human emotions guilt is the worst. Love is awesome. Anger, while destructive, can be therapeutic. Fear is necessary and conquerable. But guilt is the one that can stick with you forever.

Guilt is a cognitive or emotional experience that occurs when you realize or believe that you violated a moral standard and that you are responsible for that violation. It is the feeling of remorse, that you have failed in your personal responsibility and have hurt yourself or others because of it.

I haven’t slept in over 10 days now, and I’m so sore and fatigued I can no longer muster the strength necessary to brace myself as I careen down the escalator stairs in my steel prison box. I wish that I could just kill myself and end this pain. The only thing keeping me from death is my crushing guilt. I deserve this punishment, this sickness comes from my failures. Death would be too good for me. I am afraid to die. I don’t deserve to die, I must endure this suffering to pay for the things I have done, the people I’ve harmed, the wounds I have caused, the hopes I have shattered. I am too afraid to die…

It is my fault that I am in this prison. It is my fault that my family and friends are being mutilated and murdered. It is my fault that I have to wallow and (eventually) die in this sick place. I bring pain to those who love me. I bring madness and death where there is love and peace. I am a cancer. I am a failure. It is all my fault!

More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt

EndGame · Jul 14, 2009

For my 10th selection I will take...

A Personal Bully for everyone on the Island.

This means that your bully would follow you around, making fun of you, flushing your head, taking your lunch money and making you eat whatever crap he thought might be funny in your mouth. And this is not the kind of Bully that you can stand up to and then he respects you, no, this is no teen movie bully, this is a real pain in the *** super bully who will NEVER go away. Ever.

Ew, i think he just stuck a booger in my ear.

EndGame · Jul 14, 2009

jalfa said:

Sorry for the extended wait here, but I'm sort of in a masochist rut -meaning I'm having a hard time thinking of things to do to myself...nothing else- Well, anyway, since EndGmae only selected Spencer Pratt, I think the pick should be fine. As the only television program on my island, to be watched with my Balut breakfast, The Hills.

Some time ago, I was having pizza for lunch and, as I am a youth of the 21st century and am completely incapable of going through something as essential as eating without being entertained electronically, decided to watch TV then. This, I normally wouldn't do. German daytime television is abysmal (not that it gets any better in the evening, but I digress) and I tend to stay away from MTV productions as well, since they usually suck, and badly so. However, for some reason this notion of wanting to watch TV struck me. I believe it was because I was playing playstation before and the TV was still on. Be that as it may, I switched to MTV, figuring that the worst case scenario would be My Super Sweet Sixteen, which can be somewhat funny, when you see the show as a (succesful) attempt of the producers to make the kids look like the worst human beings possible.

Well, I was wrong, there was a scenario much worse than that, The Hills. I spent the next 30 minutes watching, stupefied, how the characters do...well...pretty much nothing to be quite honest. It appears to be just a bunch of white, wealthy, pretty people walking around in Los Angeles, having completely retarded conversations, while staring blankly in the faces of their opposites. I have never in my life seen such a cast of soulless, vacant human beings and the dialogue...oh the dialogue...I shall not get into it. I mean I could sort of understand it, if the show was some sort of weird art project with artificial characters that are supposed to demonstrate the evil inherent in today's society, but apparently it's a reality show with actual, real life people. Incredible.

You know how some people say that sometimes really horrible things are like a bad car accident, where you just can't avoid watching? Well, I felt very much like watching a car accident, only for some reason I was involved in it myself, looking on as my mind was obliterated.

I am under the impression that in order for you to play The Hills 24/7, that Spencer will demand a pay raise, making him an even bigger *****! Thanks for making my island even worse -I love it!!!!

jalfa · Jul 14, 2009

EndGame said:

Oh I agree wholeheartedly. As a matter of fact, since I was feeling kind of bad about somewhat encroaching upon your pick, I contemplated linking to the Twitter account of that guy. Let me just do that now just so everybody can see what a massive tool that guy is. I'm thinking about synergy here, you win, I win, everyone else on this planet loses.

jalfa · Jul 14, 2009

Jespher said:

Small item of interest: Why don't you bold the "this whole environment is my own sick mental creation, and it has been perverted by Cthulhu to become my prison" part and leave out guilt? One, I think just drafting guilt would open a pretty nasty can of worms, since the next person might then just go ahead and draft "pain" or "misery" and two, if it were possible to just draft guilt and have a right to it, it would have already happened with my eighth pick.

SLAB · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

Guilt is an actual human emotion - Hence it is a thing.

Pain/Misery are felt because of what goes on around you - Hence they seem more verb-ish, IMO.

SLAB · Jul 15, 2009

Warhawk is on the clock for another hour.

He's usually pretty diligent, pick-wise so I sent him a PM to see if he got his PM.

jalfa · Jul 15, 2009

SLAB said:

Guilt is just as much induced by what's going on around you as pain or misery are, it's a reaction to something that you have done or failed to do. I'm not even really challenging the pick, it's just that I think the first part should be the pick and not the second part. So far, everybody has picked something to achieve a certain effect, be it pain, frustration, disgust, emotional devastation or whatever, but all these are things that you conclude from the picks themselves. Just skipping that process and outright telling everybody what the effect is supposed to be seems to give the impression you'd now have the monopoly on that emotion, and, frankly, it's also a bit lazy. I'd only want for people to be allowed to draw their own conclusion as to how bad the pick itself would affect them, nothing more.

Jespher · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

Doing a detailed write up to express your intent of the pick is actually the opposite of being lazy. As NoBonus told me via PM, it's hard to know how you're intentions will be conveyed over the internet unless you specify them well. People read things and interpret them differently, like how SLAB interpreted my 5th pick (much differently from what I intended, and even what I wrote in the body...). It takes more effort to do this, and is not as easy as just taking something with a couple sentences.

NoBonus · Jul 15, 2009

The Guilt pick is fine with me... (though my opinion on this matter equates to exactly nothing) different than other picks? Sure, but this draft is all over the place.

Also, while you guys were arguing, I won the draft by selecting A & W Cream Soda...

jalfa · Jul 15, 2009

Jespher said:

I do not criticise your writeups at all. You have done a wonderful job so far and your scenario is works extremely well. I just have a problem with the fact that, so far, it has been the standard to pick something that elicits a certain response and use the writeup to indicate and make clear what this response is. Which is why I would have wanted you to express how and why your pick would make you feel guilt and how this is excruciating, instead of picking the response itself. I didn't want to say that the writeup itself was lazy, I wanted to say that this particular decision was lazy.

NoBonus · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

My theory, if you don't like it because it makes no sense to you, don't vote for it. It is like the Supervillain draft when Godzilla (and Galactus and others for that matter, trying not to pick on one particular person) was picked; they aren't villains. They just aren't. Forces of nature? Sure. Powerful? Undoubtedly. Gonna help take over the world? Nope. So what did I do in thise dire situation? I changed the way I voted.

Don't worry too much, once you have gone down in flames five or six times on these drafts (some in a much more embarassing fashion than others), you start to see that:

A. There is no logic you can understand as to why you would lose any particular matchup; you have the best (in this case worst) set of picks from your perspective; other people have other perspectives that could be very different from your own (and in the case of when people voted against me, their perspectives were flawed, incorrect, or they must have accidentially pushed the wrong button).

B. Do not get too emotionally involved with this stuff; let arguments go; let discussion be light; walk the path of wisdom and humor. There is only one winner of these drafts and you are setting yourself up for heartbreak if you get too into it (and we get enough heartbreak as is, we are Sacramento Kings fans).

C. If you aren't having fun, you are not playing right.

jalfa · Jul 15, 2009

Okay, this seems to be part of the "it's hard to convey meaning over the internet"-thing. I'm not angry at all and I'm also not overly concerned with the whole vote thing. For me this whole draft is an intellectual exercise in creating the most dystopian of worlds and I would be perfectly fine with not having a vote at all. I was just, I don't know, a bit disappointed by Jespher's pick, mostly because he had done a great job with his earlier picks in creating a horrible environment by picking specific things and not whole concepts.

NoBonus · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

Okay, this seems to be part of the "it's hard to convey meaning over the internet"-thing. I'm not angry at all and I'm also not overly concerned with the whole vote thing. For me this whole draft is an intellectual exercise in creating the most dystopian of worlds and I would be perfectly fine with not having a vote at all. I was just, I don't know, a bit disappointed by Jespher's pick, mostly because he had done a great job with his earlier picks in creating a horrible environment by picking specific things and not whole concepts.

You know what they say: One bad concept don't spoil the whole island.

Warhawk · Jul 15, 2009

No PM - grrrr.

Thanks Slab for the follow up PM!

I pick canker sores (aphthous ulcer). I hate them. With a passion. I don't get them often, but when they do they make eating, drinking, talking, and just plain moving your mouth/tongue at times very, very painful. Of course I will not have anything to put on them to kill the pain, I will just have to live with them.

from wiki:

Jespher · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

Thanks for the compliment jalfa

. I was going to save it for my last pick, but I was afraid that it wouldn't last...I didn't mean to steal your thunder with the choice pick. Just trying to have some fun with this draft. No hard feelings

.

D-Mass · Jul 15, 2009

Warhawk said:

Canker sores are the WORST. I wish I would have picked them earlier. Great pick.

pdxKingsFan · Jul 15, 2009

jalfa said:

Yeah, I get what you're saying in that regard. I liked Jespher's picks as a neutral observer, and I guess "guilt" seems like a throwaway, given that he has caused all his friends torture and death. That's kind of a given.

VF21 · Jul 15, 2009

For what it's worth, I have to agree at least in part with jalfa and pdxKingsFan. Jespher had in all honesty set a high standard for himself with choices that elicited pain and misery simply by reading them. "Guilt" just didn't create the same response and I found myself a little disappointed after reading that pick...

Jespher · Jul 15, 2009

You guys are making me feel guilty for making my pick

. I'll use that angst for future selections

.

Edit: FYI. I have modified the wording of my guilt choice to better express my intentions for the pick. Enjoy.

Larry89 · Jul 15, 2009

Nightmares

Nightmarish dreams every time you are able to sleep every time you daydream, your worst fears, reliving moments of embarrassment and pain, remembering events of childhood or past/present which will haunt you forever.

Twisted sinister images, ALMOST real to haunt you all time, images which your mind create putting you in another world where physical pain is no match for the visions you will see.

You will wake up in a cold sweat every time you sleep.

SLAB · Jul 15, 2009

From iphone, laptop internet not working

Great pick Larry my nightmare that i remember is just awful....

Hopefully i get my laptop back online so i can get this up to date.

jalfa · Jul 16, 2009

Jespher said:

Sorry to have been nagging you about this, but seeing that I basically got what I wanted, I don't feel quite as bad

Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

Hall of Famer

Starter

Don't Make Me Use The Bat

Don't Make Me Use The Bat

Starter

Starter

Hall of Famer

Starter

G-League

G-League

Starter

Starter

Hall of Famer

Hall of Famer

Starter

Starter

Starter

Starter

Starter

Starter

Starter

Give blood and save a life!

Starter

Starter

So Ordinary That It's Truly Quite Extraordinary

Super Moderator Emeritus

Starter

Disgruntled Kings Fan

Hall of Famer

Starter