Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Well..the grades are back.. And since we have somehow managed to bring back almost exactly the same team as we had last year when the protests began, I have decided to attempt a full season of grades themes as well. We will see...that was exhausting, and I've only got about half a season's worth of theme ideas written down at the moment. But who knows, maybe the front office will actually, you know, do something by the trade deadline and render the themes as extra entertainment unnnecessary. In any case, opening night's theme will be hot. Tonight, in a preseason game, you get a preseason quality theme. 
Accordingly the theme is: That's Why They Call it PRE Season (preseason numbers)
Thomas ( B- ) -- grabbed boards at a steady rate, which is doing his job. Also showed why it is his entire job by being unable to do anything else. Could not score over the bigger Lakers with those little man bank hooks and scoops, and could not stop the big guys inside.
Preseason Stat 1 -- Reggie Evans is a notorious board muncher who does little else. In the preseason he emerged as the starting PF for the 76ers. and true to his nature he grabbed a lot of boards. Also true ot his nature, he started and averaged 24mpg, and did not make a single FG all preason (6 games). 0-16 for the big ole .000.
Salmons ( A- ) -- not much impact in the first half, but looked very strong in the second half, and was scoring easily and smoothly (albeit against defensive monsters such as Luke Walton and Vladimir Radmanovic). Was the steadiest player down our shaky stretch. Gets the minus however for just being a scorer. Played 40+min as Reggie apparently thought this was a regular season game, and his 3rebs 2ast would be insufficent for an OG, let alone a SF.
Preseason Stat 2 -- The Atlanta Hawks are going to win the title this year. How could they not after going 7-1 this preseason?
Moore ( C+ ) -- one advanatage of having Moore on the team is that he's actually tall enoguh to fill in as a true center. Provided some active nothingness, putting up respectable numbers, and coming up with a nice block. Also got badly worked over by the Lakers bigs (Bynum in particular was just too strong), is still missing his favored jumper, uncomfrotable trying to post, and missed tow big (well would have big in regular seson) FTs in the final minutes.
Preseason Stat 3 -- Meanwhile, the last two Eastern Conference Champions, Miami (0-7) and Cleveland (1-6) combined to go 1-13 in the preason.
Kevin ( D ) -- well, after a notoriously efficient preseason in which Kevin had been scoring nearly a point a minute on 60% shooting but not sweating the other things, Kevin chose one of the two games he is going to get on national TV this year to reverse that pattern and clunk in a 5-21 struggle that was just ugly. Yeah, he helped out on the glass and got credited for 5 assists somehow, but the vaunted efficiency was trashed with not only the 16 missed shots (some wide open, some forced) but 7 turnovers as well. And all of this while being checked by noted defensive superstud Sasha Vujacic (a Kings killer perhaps -- somehow always frustrated Bibby too. Now Kevin). Even got frustrated and threw a chippy little shoulder at Ronnie Turiaf for a silly foul. Drew a lot of attention on some possessions, which is likely to be happening a lot in the early season with both Ron and Mike out.
Preseason Stat 4 -- Gilbert Arenas, after claiming his goal was to make 1500 jumpers a day during the offseason, and 100,000 over the summer, shot .294 during preseason.
Douby ( C ) -- Quincy Douby is many things, a starting PG is not one of them. Scored decently, but zero more assists tonight. Was in there for most of the stretch run, until in a bizarre sequence we come out of a timeout and within three seconds Douby chucks up a three, bricks it, chucks up another, bricks it too, turns it over, and...well, let's just say Orien Greene closed it out.
Preseason Stat 5 -- The Nuggets averaged 112ppg this preseason. Actually this one may not be that big of an aberration.
Reef ( C ) -- looked pretty good physically in the early going. Made a spinnning post move, and was moving fairly smoothly (for Reef). But not much in the second half, and was dominated physically inside by the big Lakers frontline.
Preseason Stat 6 -- 10 of the 12 Spurs likely to eb on the opening day roster are 30 years or older (only exceptions = Tony Parker and Matt Bonner).
Cisco ( B+ ) -- energy off the bench on both ends in the first half. Got pulled late after pulling a Cisco, passing on a wide open three to instead charge into the paint and pick up an offensive foul. I almost dropped this to a B because the game didn't feel as dynamic as all that, but the numbers said that he really deserved that "+".
Preseason Stat 7 -- The Warriors traded away 20pt scorer Jason Richardson to get the draft rights to Brandon Wright, only to see Don Nelson play the kid fewer than 15 min/gm in the preseason, during which time he averaged 5pts and 5rebs.
Artest ( INC ) -- no impact off the bench in brief first half minutes
Preseason Stat 8 -- Peja Stojakovic is back, and back into prime form. Over the preseason he averaged 20 min/gm, and grabbed a mighty 1.5rebs/gm in that time. In his final preseason game he went for the topper with 0rebs in 28min.
Greene ( C ) -- invisible in the first half except for some minor harassment of Lakers ballhandlers. Brought back in the late going as punishment for Douby, who made some late braindead plays. Hard to even grade because he did so little out there, good or bad. Suffice it to say though that with Mike out, he should have his roster spot secured for the opener.
Preseason Stat 9 -- The Kings finished the preseason having scored exactly as many points (97.8) as their opponents. They did so despite being outshot (.462 to .436) outrebounded (40.3 to 37.7) and outassisted (21.0 to 17.7).
Watkins ( B+ ) -- came in in the first half and fouled, fouled, and fouled again. But had a ncie second half stint when he was the only King able to compete inside against the lakers frontline with his size and athleticism. With Justin still out, presumably this is a keeper (at least until the Dec 15 gotta guarantee their money date).
Preseason Stat 10 -- The Orlando Magic dumped a stupid $118mil contract on Rasard Lewis this sumemr. For that money, he lasted 3 preseason games before breaking down, and averaged 8.7pts on 38% shooting in 20min/gm.
Shakur ( C- ) -- came in during the second half for some wild minutes. Still more of a PG than anyone else on the roster, and got some assists. Aslo turned it over, almost turned it over, stole it back, got his pocket picked by a PF, and in general it was chaos out there. If this is running the team, we don't need it.
Preseason Stat 10 -- The Miami Heat had a thoroughly miserable preseason. Udonis Haslem led the team in scoring at 11.8 per/gm. Shaq was the only other player to average more than 9ppg, and he lasted 3 games before getting hurt.
Theus --
Accordingly the theme is: That's Why They Call it PRE Season (preseason numbers)Thomas ( B- ) -- grabbed boards at a steady rate, which is doing his job. Also showed why it is his entire job by being unable to do anything else. Could not score over the bigger Lakers with those little man bank hooks and scoops, and could not stop the big guys inside.
Preseason Stat 1 -- Reggie Evans is a notorious board muncher who does little else. In the preseason he emerged as the starting PF for the 76ers. and true to his nature he grabbed a lot of boards. Also true ot his nature, he started and averaged 24mpg, and did not make a single FG all preason (6 games). 0-16 for the big ole .000.
Salmons ( A- ) -- not much impact in the first half, but looked very strong in the second half, and was scoring easily and smoothly (albeit against defensive monsters such as Luke Walton and Vladimir Radmanovic). Was the steadiest player down our shaky stretch. Gets the minus however for just being a scorer. Played 40+min as Reggie apparently thought this was a regular season game, and his 3rebs 2ast would be insufficent for an OG, let alone a SF.
Preseason Stat 2 -- The Atlanta Hawks are going to win the title this year. How could they not after going 7-1 this preseason?
Moore ( C+ ) -- one advanatage of having Moore on the team is that he's actually tall enoguh to fill in as a true center. Provided some active nothingness, putting up respectable numbers, and coming up with a nice block. Also got badly worked over by the Lakers bigs (Bynum in particular was just too strong), is still missing his favored jumper, uncomfrotable trying to post, and missed tow big (well would have big in regular seson) FTs in the final minutes.
Preseason Stat 3 -- Meanwhile, the last two Eastern Conference Champions, Miami (0-7) and Cleveland (1-6) combined to go 1-13 in the preason.
Kevin ( D ) -- well, after a notoriously efficient preseason in which Kevin had been scoring nearly a point a minute on 60% shooting but not sweating the other things, Kevin chose one of the two games he is going to get on national TV this year to reverse that pattern and clunk in a 5-21 struggle that was just ugly. Yeah, he helped out on the glass and got credited for 5 assists somehow, but the vaunted efficiency was trashed with not only the 16 missed shots (some wide open, some forced) but 7 turnovers as well. And all of this while being checked by noted defensive superstud Sasha Vujacic (a Kings killer perhaps -- somehow always frustrated Bibby too. Now Kevin). Even got frustrated and threw a chippy little shoulder at Ronnie Turiaf for a silly foul. Drew a lot of attention on some possessions, which is likely to be happening a lot in the early season with both Ron and Mike out.
Preseason Stat 4 -- Gilbert Arenas, after claiming his goal was to make 1500 jumpers a day during the offseason, and 100,000 over the summer, shot .294 during preseason.
Douby ( C ) -- Quincy Douby is many things, a starting PG is not one of them. Scored decently, but zero more assists tonight. Was in there for most of the stretch run, until in a bizarre sequence we come out of a timeout and within three seconds Douby chucks up a three, bricks it, chucks up another, bricks it too, turns it over, and...well, let's just say Orien Greene closed it out.
Preseason Stat 5 -- The Nuggets averaged 112ppg this preseason. Actually this one may not be that big of an aberration.
Reef ( C ) -- looked pretty good physically in the early going. Made a spinnning post move, and was moving fairly smoothly (for Reef). But not much in the second half, and was dominated physically inside by the big Lakers frontline.
Preseason Stat 6 -- 10 of the 12 Spurs likely to eb on the opening day roster are 30 years or older (only exceptions = Tony Parker and Matt Bonner).
Cisco ( B+ ) -- energy off the bench on both ends in the first half. Got pulled late after pulling a Cisco, passing on a wide open three to instead charge into the paint and pick up an offensive foul. I almost dropped this to a B because the game didn't feel as dynamic as all that, but the numbers said that he really deserved that "+".
Preseason Stat 7 -- The Warriors traded away 20pt scorer Jason Richardson to get the draft rights to Brandon Wright, only to see Don Nelson play the kid fewer than 15 min/gm in the preseason, during which time he averaged 5pts and 5rebs.
Artest ( INC ) -- no impact off the bench in brief first half minutes
Preseason Stat 8 -- Peja Stojakovic is back, and back into prime form. Over the preseason he averaged 20 min/gm, and grabbed a mighty 1.5rebs/gm in that time. In his final preseason game he went for the topper with 0rebs in 28min.
Greene ( C ) -- invisible in the first half except for some minor harassment of Lakers ballhandlers. Brought back in the late going as punishment for Douby, who made some late braindead plays. Hard to even grade because he did so little out there, good or bad. Suffice it to say though that with Mike out, he should have his roster spot secured for the opener.
Preseason Stat 9 -- The Kings finished the preseason having scored exactly as many points (97.8) as their opponents. They did so despite being outshot (.462 to .436) outrebounded (40.3 to 37.7) and outassisted (21.0 to 17.7).
Watkins ( B+ ) -- came in in the first half and fouled, fouled, and fouled again. But had a ncie second half stint when he was the only King able to compete inside against the lakers frontline with his size and athleticism. With Justin still out, presumably this is a keeper (at least until the Dec 15 gotta guarantee their money date).
Preseason Stat 10 -- The Orlando Magic dumped a stupid $118mil contract on Rasard Lewis this sumemr. For that money, he lasted 3 preseason games before breaking down, and averaged 8.7pts on 38% shooting in 20min/gm.
Shakur ( C- ) -- came in during the second half for some wild minutes. Still more of a PG than anyone else on the roster, and got some assists. Aslo turned it over, almost turned it over, stole it back, got his pocket picked by a PF, and in general it was chaos out there. If this is running the team, we don't need it.
Preseason Stat 10 -- The Miami Heat had a thoroughly miserable preseason. Udonis Haslem led the team in scoring at 11.8 per/gm. Shaq was the only other player to average more than 9ppg, and he lasted 3 games before getting hurt.
Theus --
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