I know this is a rhetorical question, but the answer isn't as obvious as you think. Westphal is the adult, and he needs to set an example. Some players naturally "respect their elders", but others make you earn their respect, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. So far the problems I've seen with Cousins didn't have anything to do with being selfish or a bad teammate. The problems with him, at least from what the reports tell us, is that, like bajaden mentioned, he doesn't do things just because, but he wants to know the purpose. I really appreciate that quality in Cousins. This attitude forces the coach and the team to not just go through the motions but to actually think things through. Yes, it's uncomfortable for a coach to be questioned, and it should probably be done behind closed doors without undermining his authority (just like his calling out Cousins should've been done behind closed doors), but it would benefit both Westphal and the team greatly if Westphal was forced to think about the things he does and explain them to the team in a non-BS way. If Westphal can come up with a reasonable explanation for his neverending lineup changes, the jerking around of players between starter and DNP-CD, and the different standards he has for different players, end provide that explanation to the players in a clear and respectful manner, that may be his only chance of winning back the team. Unfotunately, I seriously doubt he is able to do that.
Yes, but there's a difference between wanting to know why, and getting into an argument with the coach about it. It's like the LBJ thing. There's nothing wrong per se with him going to Miami, as he was a regular free agent. How he did it, is what everyone is upset about.
Again, I said that I am not really in favour of benching Cousins and all that stuff, but it's sort of a matter of what else can you do to get the message across to him? Tell him "Oh DeMarcus, we don't want you to make the choking sign when you haven't even won the game, because firstly it's an immediate technical foul and because the game isn't decided till the clock runs out"? We have to be patient with him, and explain things where necessary, but Cousins is our future, he has a significant role on the team, and so you can't let him just make some critical mistakes and let him get away with it. Cousins has turned the ball over repeatedly in a couple of games, but he wasn't called out for it or benched, and in fact PW defended him with the rookie excuse. Even with the high five thing, Westphal tried not to talk about it to the media. But things like the choking sign are going to be picked up by others around the league, and it's one of those things where I feel you have to really make a point to Cousins that it's wrong.
I suppose it all comes down to this. When you're raising a difficult kid, are you a believer in enforcing strict rules so that the kid is forced to be good or be punished, or would you rather be more patient with him and in a sense allow him to "be more naughty", while at the same time gently correcting him when he's wrong? It's a loose analogy, I know. In my opinion, you need a good balance of both with Cousins, which I think Westphal has done more or less. The problem I see is that because of the team's situation and Tyreke playing badly, Cousins needs to mature faster. It's good that Cousins wants to know the purpose and all that, but at this point the less distractions, the less trouble we have during practice and all the better. If Tyreke was playing better than last season and showed improvement like we hoped we would, then Cousins would be able to make a lot more mistakes, and we would be able to have more patience with him. That would certainly help his development as a player, both on the court and off. But now we need Cousins to be playing like a mature, seasoned player, we even need him to be a leader at times, and on the court he as sort of lived up to these needs for a couple of games.
I'm not blaming Cousins, he's been put in a tough situation that isn't fair to his development - slightly immature player on a team with no leader, not winning games, a questionable coach etc. But that doesn't mean he should be allowed to fight with coaches or trainers or anything of that sort.