Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
VikingInferno times out at 6:50ish...

Another long wait between picks, and again this poster has been on and off the board since the last pick.

Sigh...The drawbacks of a draft sometimes.
:/
Since we are near the end of a chain and wrapping back around soon, I recommend that if he still hasn't posted his pick when he comes up again we just move on without another 24-hr wait. People need to send pcks to someone if they are going to be away for a while.....
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Since we are near the end of a chain and wrapping back around soon, I recommend that if he still hasn't posted his pick when he comes up again we just move on without another 24-hr wait. People need to send pcks to someone if they are going to be away for a while.....
We'll do that.

Viking times out in about 40 minutes, I trust D-Mass will post his picks shortly thereafter and we'll skip over viking.
It'll only count as one time-out on his part, but he'll have 2 picks to makeup.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Vikinginferno with his first time-out.

PM sent to D-Mass who is on the clock for 2 picks.

Again, UNLESS Viking posts his pick before D-Mass we will skip straight past to Larry89. Viking is free to make his picks when his time comes.
 
Next up in the suckfest I'm building...

FOOD POISONING



24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I shall be stricken with food poisoning. No one likes to puke, let alone every 30 minutes or so. I'll pretty much do anything to avoid blowing chunks...it sucks. Anyway, first I've got worms crawling around under my skin and in my eyeballs and now I'm bent over in the ocean getting rid of every last drop of bodily fluid I have. Great thing about this is that it really doesn't even matter what my nasty food will be...I'll throw it up anyway!
 
And for the first pick in the 3rd round...

CONSTANT MIGRAINE



For those of you who get these, you know what I'm talking about...and I'm sorry. For those of you who don't...you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Obviously I get them from time to time, and they are the worst. Bad enough that I almost picked them as the first pick. Eye worms, food poisoning, and a constant migraine. Screw this...
 
And for the first pick in the 3rd round...

CONSTANT MIGRAINE



For those of you who get these, you know what I'm talking about...and I'm sorry. For those of you who don't...you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Obviously I get them from time to time, and they are the worst. Bad enough that I almost picked them as the first pick. Eye worms, food poisoning, and a constant migraine. Screw this...
Would have easily been in my top three.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
And for the first pick in the 3rd round...

CONSTANT MIGRAINE



For those of you who get these, you know what I'm talking about...and I'm sorry. For those of you who don't...you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Obviously I get them from time to time, and they are the worst. Bad enough that I almost picked them as the first pick. Eye worms, food poisoning, and a constant migraine. Screw this...
DING DING DING.
We have a winner.

Migraines suck...Badly.
 

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
And for the first pick in the 3rd round...

CONSTANT MIGRAINE



For those of you who get these, you know what I'm talking about...and I'm sorry. For those of you who don't...you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Obviously I get them from time to time, and they are the worst. Bad enough that I almost picked them as the first pick. Eye worms, food poisoning, and a constant migraine. Screw this...
Since I have never had one, sorry, you are clearly a wuss. :p
 

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
And for the first pick in the 3rd round...

CONSTANT MIGRAINE



For those of you who get these, you know what I'm talking about...and I'm sorry. For those of you who don't...you have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Obviously I get them from time to time, and they are the worst. Bad enough that I almost picked them as the first pick. Eye worms, food poisoning, and a constant migraine. Screw this...
My selection is persistant cluster headaches. Worse than his wimpy things. From wiki:

The pain of cluster headaches is markedly greater than in other headache conditions, including severe migraines, and experts believe that it may be the most severe pain known to medical science. It has been described by female patients as being more severe than childbirth.[3] Dr. Peter Goadsby, Professor of Clinical Neurology at University College London, a leading researcher on the condition has commented, “Cluster headache is probably the worst pain that humans experience. I know that’s quite a strong remark to make, but if you ask a cluster headache patient if they’ve had a worse experience, they’ll universally say they haven’t. Women with cluster headache will tell you that an attack is worse than giving birth. So you can imagine that these people give birth without anesthetic once or twice a day, for six, eight or ten weeks at a time, and then have a break. It’s just awful.[2] The pain is lancinating or boring in quality, and is located behind the eye (periorbital) or in the temple, sometimes radiating to the neck or shoulder. Analogies frequently used to describe the pain are a red-hot poker inserted into the eye, or a spike penetrating from the top of the head, behind one eye, radiating down to the neck, or sometimes having a leg amputated without any anaesthetic. The condition was originally named Horton's Neuralgia after Dr. B.T Horton, who postulated the first theory as to their pathogenesis. His original paper describes the severity of the headaches as being able to take normal men and force them to commit suicide. Indeed, cluster headaches are also known by the nickname "suicide headaches".
From Horton's 1939 original paper on cluster headache:
Our patients were disabled by the disorder and suffered from bouts of pain from two to twenty times a week. They had found no relief from the usual methods of treatment. Their pain was so severe that several of them had to be constantly watched for fear of suicide. Most of them were willing to submit to any operation which might bring relief.

So, imagine a constant hurricane with lightning and howling winds, rioting Laker fans, and suffering from these constantly. Nothing worse. Really. Truly painful and miserable.
 
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My selection is persistant cluster headaches. Worse than his wimpy things. From wiki:



So, imagine a constant hurricane with lightning and howling winds, rioting Laker fans, and suffering from these constantly. Nothing worse. Really. Truly painful and miserable.
I'm thinking that the Laker fans are the cause of the headaches? :p ;)
 

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
I'm standing by my migraines. Yours sound bad, but only .1% of the population can relate to them...

...clearly I'm going for votes. ;)
I'm sure that's more than the number of folks who are voting here that will get the Loa Loa, or get trapped with African driver ants, or Heaven forbid, get stuck in a 4x4x4 foot cell with Cthulhu. :p I like how these lists are shaping up! Lots of fun finding ways to be miserable....... ;)
 
I'm sure that's more than the number of folks who are voting here that will get the Loa Loa, or get trapped with African driver ants, or Heaven forbid, get stuck in a 4x4x4 foot cell with Cthulhu. :p I like how these lists are shaping up! Lots of fun finding ways to be miserable....... ;)
Oh sure...throw logic at me. :p

Agreed, though...this draft is pretty fun.
 
Sorry guys, I was going to make the pick on my phone, but my phone's internet is way too slow so here's the pick.

Locked-In Syndrome

Locked-in syndrome is a condition in which a patient is aware and awake, but cannot move or communicate due to complete paralysis of nearly all voluntary muscles in the body. The condition has been described as "the closest thing to being buried alive".

This in combination with everything else on my island will be worse than anything imaginable.
 

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Sorry guys, I was going to make the pick on my phone, but my phone's internet is way too slow so here's the pick.

Locked-In Syndrome

Locked-in syndrome is a condition in which a patient is aware and awake, but cannot move or communicate due to complete paralysis of nearly all voluntary muscles in the body. The condition has been described as "the closest thing to being buried alive".

This in combination with everything else on my island will be worse than anything imaginable.

Will this not result in your inevitabel death through starvation/lack of water? :eek:
 
Now for my 3rd pick:

Ox Penis


Ox penis is a common food in oriental nations and is generally cooked by steaming or deep frying, and can also be eaten raw. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to, uh, eat a penis and I have nothing to stop Rosie from throwing it down my throat because of my locked-in syndrome.
 
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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Now for my 3rd pick:

Ox Penis

Ox penis is a common food in oriental nations and is generally cooked by steaming or deep frying, and can also be eaten raw. I cannot imagine how horrible it would be to, uh, eat a penis and I have nothing to stop Rosie from throwing it down my throat because of my locked-in syndrome.

Well as you can't chew you can take comfort in the fact that it will have to be pureed ox penis poured down your throat. ;)

Added a spoiler over that pic -- not sure what I am looking at there, but decided given the nature of the beast it would be best if people decided they wanted to check it or not.
 
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Well as you can't chew you can take comf ort in the fact that it will have to be pureed ox penis poured down your throat. ;)

Added a spoiler over that pic -- not sure what I am looking at there, but decided given the nature of the beast it would be best if people decided they wanted to check it or not.
Oh totally forgot about spoilers, thanks.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Okay,
I just wanted to hear from a mod before I posted "Ox Penis" for a draftee.
lol

Will update the thread now, and nice to have you back Viking!
:p
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
Note: I had to delete a comment from someone who brought up a particularly painful condition that has not been drafted but might well be...

There's nothing more frustrating than to have your next pick revealed by an innocent bystander before you can post it.
 
Note: I had to delete a comment from someone who brought up a particularly painful condition that has not been drafted but might well be...

There's nothing more frustrating than to have your next pick revealed by an innocent bystander before you can post it.
Oops, mea culpa. I should of thought of that. Duh!
 
So I mentioned that I have a pipe for air supply (but no grate, doors, or windows), and am being imprisoned by a psychopathic monstrosity. What I have not yet mentioned is that the floor of my cell is covered by a flowing stream of this stuff, piped in by a pipe and drain at floor level. With my 3rd pick, I select:

A Flowing Pool of Raw Sewage (Only food and drink)



Human waste actually contains all of the necessary nutrients for sustaining life, unfortunately, it also contains enough salt and bacteria to quickly riddle me with disease, and dehydrate me to near death status daily. I'm wishing for a quick death in this scenario, but I don't think that Cthulhu will oblige me, as he lusts for human suffering, and has the means to make me survive the pain of my diseases (he wouldn't cure them of course, just give me just enough immortal willpower to not die from them, and enough water in the sewage to survive :().

Raw sewage typically contains viruses and bacteria as well as health-harming microorganisms. For example, this type of waste is known to contain E.coli and hepatitis A; cholera is another well-known pathogen in raw sewage.

Besides being exposed to bacteria and viruses, a person exposed to raw sewage may develop a range of illnesses, including gastroenteritis, which is marked by diarrhea, vomiting, and abdominal cramping. The sometimes-fatal Weil's disease is another common problem, which causes symptoms that resemble the flu and can lead to liver and kidney damage. Occupational asthma, caused by inhaling certain organisms, is another risk of exposure. Even the skin and eyes are not immune, as infection can develop here as well.
[yt=The ReBurger]MkTG6sGX-Ic[/yt]
So apart from not being able to stand or sit, I have to wallow in a 6" deep flowing pool of human waste, ripe with the smells, textures, and most god awful tastes one can imagine. Talk about chemical/psychological warfare!

More: Urophagia
Coprophagia
 
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