Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
For whatever it's worth - from a strictly outsider potential voter point of view - I think this is becoming two separate drafts. Some of you are actually drafting things while others are creating environments.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
For whatever it's worth - from a strictly outsider potential voter point of view - I think this is becoming two separate drafts. Some of you are actually drafting things while others are creating environments.
Everything is in play.

An environment is somewhere where you can clearly live, and said environment could be terrible and miserable.

The "Things" being drafted of course live on said island. Having bees and ants doesn't change the environment of your island, but drafting Roseanne and Giant Wasps can make a truly horrible living condition. Having vicious wasps stinging you while calling all their hivemates to assist while Gilbert Godfrey cackles in your ear would also suck as bad as some of the horrible environments.

Anyways, I assume it will all be rounded out with the Environment Drafters taking some 'things' they hate later, and the Thing Drafters choosing some 'Environment' picks.

Or, a small tweak on a common phrase...
Misery is in the eyes of the Beholder.

:)
 
Here's mine:

Adolf Hitler



All of you know him. Although I personally am not Jewish, my grandma and many other relatives have had an experience that is so bad that my grandma has not or does not talk of the experience because of the pain. I have no idea what kind of stuff he would do to a guy with locked-in syndrome on an island and it will be horrible figuring it out on my island.
 
Might as well pick a food:

LUTEFISK
Gelatinous, caustic fish product made by soaking it in lye! Yum!


From Wikipedia:

"Lutefisk is made from dried whitefish (normally cod, but ling is also used), prepared with lye, in a sequence of particular treatments. The watering steps of these treatments differ slightly for salted/dried whitefish because of its high salt content.
The first treatment is to soak the stockfish in cold water for five to six days (with the water changed daily). The saturated stockfish is then soaked in an unchanged solution of cold water and lye for an additional two days. The fish swells during this soaking and its protein content decreases by more than 50 percent, producing its famous jelly-like consistency. When this treatment is finished, the fish (saturated with lye) has a pH value of 11–12, and is therefore caustic. To make the fish edible, a final treatment of yet another four to six days of soaking in cold water (also changed daily) is needed. Eventually, the lutefisk is ready to be cooked."


My favorite quote from Garrison Keillor:

"Lutefisk is cod that has been dried in a lye solution. It looks like the desiccated cadavers of squirrels run over by trucks, but after it is soaked and reconstituted and the lye is washed out and it’s cooked, it looks more fish-related, though with lutefisk, the window of success is small. It can be tasty, but the statistics aren’t on your side. It is the hereditary delicacy of Swedes and Norwegians who serve it around the holidays, in memory of their ancestors, who ate it because they were poor. Most lutefisk is not edible by normal people. It is reminiscent of the afterbirth of a dog or the world’s largest chunk of phlegm."
 
Next up...

AN INFESTATION OF MOSQUITOES



Lots of bad bugs out there, but these are close to home. I hate them. I grew up in a rice farming community that is completely infested with them. Several of my football practices in high school were cut short due to mosquitoes. The sound from even one mosquito in your bedroom at night can drive you insane.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Another great pick, D

Ants on some of the Islands may be scary, but mosquito's are just plain disgusting.
From their buzz, to their eating habit, to smashing them and seeing a pool of blood that isn't yours...

Mosquito's suck, and they were one of my next two picks.

"Good" one, again!
:p
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Sorry vikinginferno, I can't let that pick fly in this draft...The pick is to vague, especially as...

We've already had the infamous "Game 6", Kobe Bryant, and Rioting Laker Fans be chosen as individual picks...

This draft is more of a singular pick, more than anything as a complete whole...You have to choose one thing/item/sports event/environment on it's own...

Choosing the Lakers as a whole ruins the earlier picks of the Fans, Bryant, and Game 6... And eliminates any future picks of Laker awfulness.

New pick will be needed, I'll PM incase youre off.
 
Sorry vikinginferno, I can't let that pick fly in this draft...The pick is to vague, especially as...

We've already had the infamous "Game 6", Kobe Bryant, and Rioting Laker Fans be chosen as individual picks...

This draft is more of a singular pick, more than anything as a complete whole...You have to choose one thing/item/sports event/environment on it's own...

Choosing the Lakers as a whole ruins the earlier picks of the Fans, Bryant, and Game 6... And eliminates any future picks of Laker awfulness.

New pick will be needed, I'll PM incase youre off.
Awwww man... :( Well it'll be a little bit before I get a new pick.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
Awwww man... :( Well it'll be a little bit before I get a new pick.
Sorry man...
((And ignore the PM I just sent as it says essentially the same thing in case you missed my post))

Anyways, you still have your full allotted time to make your pick and move on.
There's plenty more things to fret, so you should get something good!
:)
 
Don't worry, I understand. :) I got a new pick that I think is pretty good (or bad).

Religious people who try to convert others



Don't you just hate those people who knock at your door telling you why their religion is so great and that if you join it that everything will be good? Well I definitely do and it is extremely annoying. On my island there are many of these religious people of all different religions trying to convert each other and also myself and I have nothing I can do about it but listen because of my locked in syndrome. They would likely talk about how God has sent us to the island because of our sins and say we must replenish ourselves for our sins or something like that. Man, this is horrible and I also have Adolf Hitler there to make it even worse! :eek:
 

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
And it is my turn again.

I think it is time to grab some food, as several of my choices are already gone.

I think I'll go with Escamoles

From wiki:

Escamoles are the larvae of ants of the genus Liometopum, harvested from the roots of the agave (tequila) or maguey (mezcal) plant in Mexico. In some forms of Mexican cuisine, escamoles are considered a delicacy and are sometimes referred to as "insect caviar".
I don't care that a lot of folks call a delicacy, I call it nasty. Oh, and by the way, these are poisonous ants, so in order to eat, I have to raid poisonous ant hives which will be covering my island and steal their unborn young. Yeah, that is a lot of fun.
 
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I select:Laura Schlessinger AKA Dr. Laura to come give a poigniant analysis of everything that occurs on my island... just hearing her name makes me want to scream! She is just THAT annoying!

 
So far I have become imprisoned in a 4'x4'x4' steel cell, kept alive by consuming raw sewage, and tormented with electric shocks and psychedelic crises by Cthulhu the Lord of Extreme Horror and Evil. How could things get much worse? Well, unfortunately I am not alone. I am given daily video updates of the rest of my family and friends who were also taken to the island and are being tormented daily. For my 5th pick, I select:

Family and Friends Sharing my Fate (In Similar Cells)



This footage is played randomly through a projection tube onto a wall, showing the most barbaric brutality, as Cthulhu and his maniacal minions torment, abuse, defile, and murder my family members, and anyone I have ever known and loved. Most are in similar cells as me, and I have to watch as they waste away, day after day, knowing that there is nothing I can do to help them. Try as I might, it is also impossible to contact them as they have no knowledge of my imprisonment:(. Talk about pain and misery!
 
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Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
So far I have become imprisoned in a 4'x4'x4' steel cell, kept alive by consuming raw sewage, and tormented with electric shocks and psychedelic crises by Cthulhu the Lord of Extreme Horror and Evil. How could things get much worse? Well, unfortunately I am not alone. I am given daily video updates of the rest of my family and friends who were also taken to the island and are being tormented daily. For my 5th pick, I select:

Family and Friends Sharing my Fate (In Similar Cells)



This footage is played randomly through a projection tube onto a wall, showing the most barbaric brutality, as Cthulhu and his maniacal minions torment, abuse, defile, and murder my family members, and anyone I have ever known and loved. Most are in similar cells as me, and I have to watch as they waste away, day after day, knowing that there is nothing I can do to help them. Try as I might, it is also impossible to contact them as they have no knowledge of my imprisonment:(. Talk about pain and misery!
Nice selection.
 
I select: The Macarena being the hottest trend on my island amongst the meth-taking obese elderly nudists; they will spend 8 to 12 hours per day listening to the Macarena at high volumes and doing the dance moves... no other music is available on the island.
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
If you're obese elderly nudists are taking methamphetamines on a regular basis, they are NOT going to be obese for very long.

:p
 
If you're obese elderly nudists are taking methamphetamines on a regular basis, they are NOT going to be obese for very long.

:p
Especially if they're doing the Macarena for eight hours a day :eek: Chances are, they're going to die of a heart attack pretty soon.
 
Naked, obese meth freaks tweaking and doing the Macarena for eight hours?

Call me a masochist, but that sounds like one hell of a show. Grotesque, to be sure, but entertaining. And hilarious.