Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
9!
I've been thinking...they've been having the pit bull debate over in the Bronx recently after yet another person got mauled, and I really still don't get that. A pit bull may or may not (depending on who you ask) have some excessive nasty in it, but they still only weigh maybe 50lbs. A decent size dog to be sure, but what? So you just lay down and let the little midget chow on you? I don't think so! Pretty much if you can't get fired up about something actually eating parts of you, you just can't get fired up period. I mean have some pride man! You outweigh the little critter by 100+ lbs!
So today's theme: Critters By Which There's No Shame In Being Eaten
Artest ( B+ ) -- ok, I think its come time to shut Ron down for the season. He's just playing too damn hard. True to his mercurial and undependable nature, you can't even count on him to get the memo that its over and we need lins. And if he keeps on fighting and having games like these, you know sooner or later he's going to cost us a bad woss and as tight as the lottery standings are right now, about 3 or 4 positions in the Oden/Durant sweepstakes. Ron was effective offensively from the beginning of this one, and again, as it has been, was both our best inside AND best outside player. Note however that he has been getting his shot blocked a ton in the last few games, and that may be as much on Muss as Ron, with Muss's frequent smallballing leaving Ron having to try to post up big PFs and Cs who excel at precisely interior defense. In any case in the first half it was a different story on the other end, where Melo quickly punctured the Ron owning Melo theory by pouring in 16 in the first quarter alone, and was going right at Ron int he post and getting into some very physical banging with him inside. Continued popping them in throughout the third, and got much better control over Melo (along with a lot of double team help), who I think was playing like the game was already over. Also toward the end of the third appeared to tweak his ankle (not always easy to tell how serious that is with Ron because he'll let you know/see every little tweek). Cooled in the 4th, and despite the big offensive numbers, not the most well rounded game for Ron.
LIGER -- this is Hercules, the Liger. And actually when this picture was taken he was still very young and growing. A Liger is a crossbreed of a Tiger and a Lion, and grows larger than either of its parents. Up to 12 feet long and over half a ton larger. With a mouth large enough to fit your entire head into, if it wants to eat you, consider yourself eaten. It consumes 20lbs of meat a day, and can gorge itself on as much as 100 lbs in one sitting. Which for some of our younger/more petite members, might be all there is of them. No shame in being lunch for this kitty.
Reef ( B+ ) -- check it out, we have just witnessed the blind squirrel theorem proven: There was an NBA basketball game, there were lots of big tall guys running around the court, and Shareef Abdur Rahim was a force on the boards. Not even the offensive boards -- this time it wasnt even about him looking for ways to get more shots. He was coming up big on the defensve glass and actually may have been our most active and aggressive player in the first half. In fact until we fully realized what Justin Williams was going to give us tonight, Reef, scary as this would normally sound, was basically the ONLY person on the defensive glass. There still was little or no interior defense from him -- the Nuggets bigs just kicked our butts in there all night. And he missed more shots than he made. But they were good takes for the most part, and aggressive ones -- aggression being something sorely lacking from Reef ever since we've known him. Minutes got cut short in this one in the second half, and unless he got hurt, only way I can explain it is yet again a victim fo Muss's smallball fascination. Maybe for the best anyway -- more time for the kids.
MEGALODON -- think Jaws, on steroids, and you have a Megalodon. 50ft long, perhaps as much as 60 tons. You would not even be a snack. Do not worry too excessively however, they thankfully died off some 2 million years ago. Well...probably -- there are some claims of Megalodon teeth being found which date back no more than 10,000 to 15,000 years, and occasional Bigfootesque claims of sightings. There have also been some really really crappy scifi movies about them in recent years.
Miller ( D ) -- gave us nothing in the first half, and was dominated in the matchup. One nice pass, per usual. But useless defensively and outplayed by Justin Williams. Came back in the third and the combination of his invisibility and Justin's breakout hustle game thankfully pinned him to the bench for the rest of the game. Time to shut it down for the year?
COLOSSAL SQUID -- not quite true sea monster sized, and the one pictured above was "only" an alarming 33ft long. But they can reach 60ft long, which is about 10 times my length, so despite my general feeling of superiority to all invertebrates, I guess if one of the big ones managed to eat me I wouldn't have to go down too big a shame spiral.
Martin ( B ) -- was drawing a lot of attention in the first half, but I was a little mystified when we were in an up and down game how Kevin could be so quiet. Moved the ball, and set up Reef in particular, but not able to exert himself in the scoring column, and ran into Camby inside. Started coming alive in the third though, and without any real dominant stretches still managed to work his way into a big 19pt half. Knocked the shine off the second half resurgence with a series of shaky plays in the final 2 minutes, missing a three at the 2 minute mark, then losing Melo for the alley oop on the other end, and then throwing in another missed shot. Of course given our true interests anymore, maybe the late miscues should have earned him an extra plus -- we were threatening to pull out a devasting woss there for a moment.
SPERM WHALE -- now sperm whales do not normally eat people. But they certainly could. And back in the days when people used to be real jerks and run around poking them in the back with pointy sticks, they in fact sometimes did. A particularly massive 80 ton specimen actually attacked and sunk the whaling boat Essex back in 1820. To which I have to just say "good show!" Very much pro-whales eating people if people start the mess. On the other hand, very much not interested in being eaten myself, thx. In any case, these whales were once the largest predators we have knowledge of on Earth. They reached sizes of more than 90 feet long and 150 tons as recently as the 18th century. But the wonderful insitution of whaling has shrunk the surviving population such that they rarely exceed a mere 60 ft and 60 tons anymore. I could take 'em.
I've been thinking...they've been having the pit bull debate over in the Bronx recently after yet another person got mauled, and I really still don't get that. A pit bull may or may not (depending on who you ask) have some excessive nasty in it, but they still only weigh maybe 50lbs. A decent size dog to be sure, but what? So you just lay down and let the little midget chow on you? I don't think so! Pretty much if you can't get fired up about something actually eating parts of you, you just can't get fired up period. I mean have some pride man! You outweigh the little critter by 100+ lbs!
So today's theme: Critters By Which There's No Shame In Being Eaten
Artest ( B+ ) -- ok, I think its come time to shut Ron down for the season. He's just playing too damn hard. True to his mercurial and undependable nature, you can't even count on him to get the memo that its over and we need lins. And if he keeps on fighting and having games like these, you know sooner or later he's going to cost us a bad woss and as tight as the lottery standings are right now, about 3 or 4 positions in the Oden/Durant sweepstakes. Ron was effective offensively from the beginning of this one, and again, as it has been, was both our best inside AND best outside player. Note however that he has been getting his shot blocked a ton in the last few games, and that may be as much on Muss as Ron, with Muss's frequent smallballing leaving Ron having to try to post up big PFs and Cs who excel at precisely interior defense. In any case in the first half it was a different story on the other end, where Melo quickly punctured the Ron owning Melo theory by pouring in 16 in the first quarter alone, and was going right at Ron int he post and getting into some very physical banging with him inside. Continued popping them in throughout the third, and got much better control over Melo (along with a lot of double team help), who I think was playing like the game was already over. Also toward the end of the third appeared to tweak his ankle (not always easy to tell how serious that is with Ron because he'll let you know/see every little tweek). Cooled in the 4th, and despite the big offensive numbers, not the most well rounded game for Ron.
LIGER -- this is Hercules, the Liger. And actually when this picture was taken he was still very young and growing. A Liger is a crossbreed of a Tiger and a Lion, and grows larger than either of its parents. Up to 12 feet long and over half a ton larger. With a mouth large enough to fit your entire head into, if it wants to eat you, consider yourself eaten. It consumes 20lbs of meat a day, and can gorge itself on as much as 100 lbs in one sitting. Which for some of our younger/more petite members, might be all there is of them. No shame in being lunch for this kitty.
Reef ( B+ ) -- check it out, we have just witnessed the blind squirrel theorem proven: There was an NBA basketball game, there were lots of big tall guys running around the court, and Shareef Abdur Rahim was a force on the boards. Not even the offensive boards -- this time it wasnt even about him looking for ways to get more shots. He was coming up big on the defensve glass and actually may have been our most active and aggressive player in the first half. In fact until we fully realized what Justin Williams was going to give us tonight, Reef, scary as this would normally sound, was basically the ONLY person on the defensive glass. There still was little or no interior defense from him -- the Nuggets bigs just kicked our butts in there all night. And he missed more shots than he made. But they were good takes for the most part, and aggressive ones -- aggression being something sorely lacking from Reef ever since we've known him. Minutes got cut short in this one in the second half, and unless he got hurt, only way I can explain it is yet again a victim fo Muss's smallball fascination. Maybe for the best anyway -- more time for the kids.
MEGALODON -- think Jaws, on steroids, and you have a Megalodon. 50ft long, perhaps as much as 60 tons. You would not even be a snack. Do not worry too excessively however, they thankfully died off some 2 million years ago. Well...probably -- there are some claims of Megalodon teeth being found which date back no more than 10,000 to 15,000 years, and occasional Bigfootesque claims of sightings. There have also been some really really crappy scifi movies about them in recent years.
Miller ( D ) -- gave us nothing in the first half, and was dominated in the matchup. One nice pass, per usual. But useless defensively and outplayed by Justin Williams. Came back in the third and the combination of his invisibility and Justin's breakout hustle game thankfully pinned him to the bench for the rest of the game. Time to shut it down for the year?
COLOSSAL SQUID -- not quite true sea monster sized, and the one pictured above was "only" an alarming 33ft long. But they can reach 60ft long, which is about 10 times my length, so despite my general feeling of superiority to all invertebrates, I guess if one of the big ones managed to eat me I wouldn't have to go down too big a shame spiral.
Martin ( B ) -- was drawing a lot of attention in the first half, but I was a little mystified when we were in an up and down game how Kevin could be so quiet. Moved the ball, and set up Reef in particular, but not able to exert himself in the scoring column, and ran into Camby inside. Started coming alive in the third though, and without any real dominant stretches still managed to work his way into a big 19pt half. Knocked the shine off the second half resurgence with a series of shaky plays in the final 2 minutes, missing a three at the 2 minute mark, then losing Melo for the alley oop on the other end, and then throwing in another missed shot. Of course given our true interests anymore, maybe the late miscues should have earned him an extra plus -- we were threatening to pull out a devasting woss there for a moment.
SPERM WHALE -- now sperm whales do not normally eat people. But they certainly could. And back in the days when people used to be real jerks and run around poking them in the back with pointy sticks, they in fact sometimes did. A particularly massive 80 ton specimen actually attacked and sunk the whaling boat Essex back in 1820. To which I have to just say "good show!" Very much pro-whales eating people if people start the mess. On the other hand, very much not interested in being eaten myself, thx. In any case, these whales were once the largest predators we have knowledge of on Earth. They reached sizes of more than 90 feet long and 150 tons as recently as the 18th century. But the wonderful insitution of whaling has shrunk the surviving population such that they rarely exceed a mere 60 ft and 60 tons anymore. I could take 'em.
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A Gamera?? HAHAHA! Fire breathing turtle...NICE! How would that thing fair against Godzilla? Or Dice-K's Gyroball?
