Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
We'll see whether anything happens second half to actually justify my handing out individual grades. As is its a Team = F.
Records set so far:
Fewest Points In a Half in the 64 Year History of the Franchise
Fewest Opponent Points in a Half At Hoem in Mavericks History
7-41 FGs First Half (if that's not a record, it should be)
Fewest Points in a Game in the Sacramento Era (Tied)
Records still pending:
Most Fans Lost by a Franchise in a Single Debacle
Greatest Damage Done to a Coach's Credibility and Rehiring Prospects By a Single Game
Most Phone Calls Made to Jerry Sloan, Jeff Van Gundy and Larry Brown By A Single Franchise At Halftime
I am going to go ahead and post some notes here. Not grades. This game doesn't deserve grades and trying to sort out who deseres a D- and who an F would be pointless and exhausting. And I quit taking notes after a while. So these will be observations as much as grades, and no letter grade. I will go ahead and post some girls out of tradition, but there is nothing for this one really. Maybe a Kinkiest Porn Star Sex Acts thread, but we don't do those around here. I don't think there is any point in a poll on basketball either. So instead I'll put one up on the girls after I'm done.
Salmons -- actually played as well or better than jsut about any King. Which means nothing. Nonetheless for a night he wasn't the bleeding eyesore. Of course what he was doing didn't have much to do with the rest of the team per normal, but that he was doing anything at all was refreshing. Too small to guard Marion, as so far he has been to guard roughly 2/3 of the SFs in the league. Reason being, say it with me, HE'S A SG GEOFF!
Gizem Memic -- I struck an unusually rich vein here. Always on the lookout for girls for these threads, and you know that Carl's Jr. commerical with Miss Turkey and her little hamburger bikini? You know the one. Well decided to see if that really was Miss Turkey. Sure enough, it was. Meet Gizem Memic. But the rich vein is that she brought along some hot friends.
Hickson -- looked bad out there, totally overmatched by Dirk, and these sorts of consistent being overmatched things really throw question onto his future as a starter in the NBA. Because if you start you are going to face Dirk, and Blake, and Love and Amare and etc., and you can't go around looking like a college kid playing against the big boys for the first time. He grabbed some boards, did nothing else, looked confused much of the time.
Melisa Asli Pamuk -- for instance this was Gizem's successor as Miss Turkey in 2011.
Cousins -- who knows how he was feeling, but started out the game retreating from big 7'2" Haywood all the way outside to hoist up long bricks. And given that one way you try to puncture a stifling defensive team is by clearing out a side, throwing the ball into your big post guy, and letting him beat his man 1 on 1, we just never even had a shot to do that. Began to panic, get frustrated, and throw up some wild garbage in the 2nd and 3rd. As 3rd quarter went along eventually worked his way into semi-solid numbers, but there wasn't any one play that was particularly impressive.
Yuksel Ak -- and this is Yuksel Ak, the Miss Universe runner up from 2000
Thornton -- who knows if he was fully healed or not as he did not look quick or explosive out there. Then again neither did anybody else. Notably worrisome was the fact that the rest fo the team's horrific shooting seemed to infect him rather than him coming back and lifting them. Predictably given hsi selfish instincts was one of the first Kings to abandon the unproductive system and start just going 1 on 1. Struggled his way up into double figures along with Cousins, but not much better than guys who didn't, just more persistent.
Gabrielle Walcott -- not Turkish at all, but rather another Miss Universe runnerup, this one from Trinidad & Tobago. Not really fair a nation of about a million people gets to have her.
Records set so far:
Fewest Points In a Half in the 64 Year History of the Franchise
Fewest Opponent Points in a Half At Hoem in Mavericks History
7-41 FGs First Half (if that's not a record, it should be)
Fewest Points in a Game in the Sacramento Era (Tied)
Records still pending:
Most Fans Lost by a Franchise in a Single Debacle
Greatest Damage Done to a Coach's Credibility and Rehiring Prospects By a Single Game
Most Phone Calls Made to Jerry Sloan, Jeff Van Gundy and Larry Brown By A Single Franchise At Halftime
I am going to go ahead and post some notes here. Not grades. This game doesn't deserve grades and trying to sort out who deseres a D- and who an F would be pointless and exhausting. And I quit taking notes after a while. So these will be observations as much as grades, and no letter grade. I will go ahead and post some girls out of tradition, but there is nothing for this one really. Maybe a Kinkiest Porn Star Sex Acts thread, but we don't do those around here. I don't think there is any point in a poll on basketball either. So instead I'll put one up on the girls after I'm done.
Salmons -- actually played as well or better than jsut about any King. Which means nothing. Nonetheless for a night he wasn't the bleeding eyesore. Of course what he was doing didn't have much to do with the rest of the team per normal, but that he was doing anything at all was refreshing. Too small to guard Marion, as so far he has been to guard roughly 2/3 of the SFs in the league. Reason being, say it with me, HE'S A SG GEOFF!
Gizem Memic -- I struck an unusually rich vein here. Always on the lookout for girls for these threads, and you know that Carl's Jr. commerical with Miss Turkey and her little hamburger bikini? You know the one. Well decided to see if that really was Miss Turkey. Sure enough, it was. Meet Gizem Memic. But the rich vein is that she brought along some hot friends.
Hickson -- looked bad out there, totally overmatched by Dirk, and these sorts of consistent being overmatched things really throw question onto his future as a starter in the NBA. Because if you start you are going to face Dirk, and Blake, and Love and Amare and etc., and you can't go around looking like a college kid playing against the big boys for the first time. He grabbed some boards, did nothing else, looked confused much of the time.

Melisa Asli Pamuk -- for instance this was Gizem's successor as Miss Turkey in 2011.
Cousins -- who knows how he was feeling, but started out the game retreating from big 7'2" Haywood all the way outside to hoist up long bricks. And given that one way you try to puncture a stifling defensive team is by clearing out a side, throwing the ball into your big post guy, and letting him beat his man 1 on 1, we just never even had a shot to do that. Began to panic, get frustrated, and throw up some wild garbage in the 2nd and 3rd. As 3rd quarter went along eventually worked his way into semi-solid numbers, but there wasn't any one play that was particularly impressive.

Yuksel Ak -- and this is Yuksel Ak, the Miss Universe runner up from 2000
Thornton -- who knows if he was fully healed or not as he did not look quick or explosive out there. Then again neither did anybody else. Notably worrisome was the fact that the rest fo the team's horrific shooting seemed to infect him rather than him coming back and lifting them. Predictably given hsi selfish instincts was one of the first Kings to abandon the unproductive system and start just going 1 on 1. Struggled his way up into double figures along with Cousins, but not much better than guys who didn't, just more persistent.

Gabrielle Walcott -- not Turkish at all, but rather another Miss Universe runnerup, this one from Trinidad & Tobago. Not really fair a nation of about a million people gets to have her.
Last edited: