Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
We are badasses. Or at least bad. And we play kind of like *** so...
And yes, sucktatude has inspired yet another Pretty Girls Theme. If I keep this up will have to do a Pretty guys at some point I guess -- I'll take suggestions (1 per female poster to be fair). So anyway, this time it will be Pretty Girls, Errata Edition -- we had a Hot Babes thread here this summer where we selected 320 lovely ladies. But a few slipped through the cracks. So these are a few of those that got mentioned as barely missing the cut (and who have not appeared in either my Pretty Girls Theme Edition I or II). Because we are equal opportunity around here, and every pretty girl needs her time in the sun. And is going to get it if the Kings keep throwing up stinkers like this.
Garcia ( B- ) -- was off to a slow start along with everybody else in white, keyed a minirun in the second quarter, then disappeared again. Was part of our crew bringing the energy in the early third quarter, but just ran out of legs or something, and could not knock down the big threes we needed to get over the hump. Not bad as far as this one goes, but that means, oh 100% diddly considering this "effort".
Heather Locklear -- once long ago, before the plastic and sleazy boyfriends, Heather Locklear was a fresh faced cutie who would have been taken near the top of any beautiful women draft.
Hawes ( D+ ) -- too early to call this a slump? Not sure. But Spencer's shooting over the last 4 games? 5-14, 4-13, 3-9, and tonight, 3-11. Throw in that he's had one double figure rebounding game in the last 14 games...and yeah, its a slump. Early on in this one could not contend with the pace, then got caught up in it and just started chucking. Completely empty first half. Zero points. 1 reb. Nothing. Worked much better with Thompson to start the third. Jason still doing most of the work, but Hawes was assisting (sometimes literally) and providing size inside as the Knicks went from small to ridiculous, at one point playing three SFs with Tim Thomas at C. Used his size to bother Harrington a little inside, but got lit up otherwise. So F for the first half, at least something after the break, still one of his worst of the season.
Erika Eleniak -- Baywatch babe turned Playboy Playmate turned 90s Grade B movie hottie, there are just so many more interesting pictures of Erika that I can't post here. Was immensely cute in Steven Seagal's only ever respectable movie (Under Siege), and less untalented than the average I'm-only-starring-in-this-because-of-my-looks hottie (see Richards, Denise for a prime example).
Miller ( F ) -- and as Geoff continues to sit on his hands in "patient" fashion, our center's trade value continues to crater. Little talked about in the midst of our other problems is how far he has regressed again this season on the glass and defense, and of course the scary question of whether this is the permanent slide due to advancing age. In any case its getting worse, whatever it is, and tonight was just awful. A couple of lumbering drives to the hoop aside was helpess in the face of the fast attack in the first quarter and stood there with his arms dangling at his sides as Knick after Knick waltzed down the lane and David Lee destroyed him on the glass. Reggie didn't even bother trying to bring him back for the third quarter, and went with Thompson instead to get some energy. Reappeared briefly to begin the 4th quarter for some unknown reason, and was actually a little better, but come on now. Our "Ivory Towers" is broke.
Jada Pinkett Smith -- the better half of one of Hollywood's longest running power couples.
Salmons ( C- ) -- of course this game was played at his pace, so you would have thought...but no. It was briefly there in the early going when he was just about the only King doing anything, but it soon faded, and I think somewhat like Kevin, the Knicks tiny quick guard lineup caused him more problems than bigger, lumbering guys do. You can taango with Kobe, but Nate Robinson does you in? Then we tried to use him as a cooler on Harrington, and the flipside of his ability as a perimeter defender got exposed again -- he's small as a SF, and a power tweener like Harrington worked him over and put him in foul trouble. Had some moments, but just could not really get it going in the third when we briefly challenged. Like Cisco, could not hit the shot we needed, and maybe here is one of the only times the "he was tired" excuse is anything but an excuse. Possible. He worked extremely hard against Kobe down in L.A. And in an up and down game like this he just had no spark. So either he was tired...or he just sucked. I'll buy either. Oh, by the way still led us in scoring...with 14.
Brigitte Bardot -- her late life descent into chaninsmoking fascist hag may have cost her a few votes, but I said at the time I did not even know you could have a beautiful woman thread without Brigitte Bardot in it.
And yes, sucktatude has inspired yet another Pretty Girls Theme. If I keep this up will have to do a Pretty guys at some point I guess -- I'll take suggestions (1 per female poster to be fair). So anyway, this time it will be Pretty Girls, Errata Edition -- we had a Hot Babes thread here this summer where we selected 320 lovely ladies. But a few slipped through the cracks. So these are a few of those that got mentioned as barely missing the cut (and who have not appeared in either my Pretty Girls Theme Edition I or II). Because we are equal opportunity around here, and every pretty girl needs her time in the sun. And is going to get it if the Kings keep throwing up stinkers like this.
Garcia ( B- ) -- was off to a slow start along with everybody else in white, keyed a minirun in the second quarter, then disappeared again. Was part of our crew bringing the energy in the early third quarter, but just ran out of legs or something, and could not knock down the big threes we needed to get over the hump. Not bad as far as this one goes, but that means, oh 100% diddly considering this "effort".
Heather Locklear -- once long ago, before the plastic and sleazy boyfriends, Heather Locklear was a fresh faced cutie who would have been taken near the top of any beautiful women draft.
Hawes ( D+ ) -- too early to call this a slump? Not sure. But Spencer's shooting over the last 4 games? 5-14, 4-13, 3-9, and tonight, 3-11. Throw in that he's had one double figure rebounding game in the last 14 games...and yeah, its a slump. Early on in this one could not contend with the pace, then got caught up in it and just started chucking. Completely empty first half. Zero points. 1 reb. Nothing. Worked much better with Thompson to start the third. Jason still doing most of the work, but Hawes was assisting (sometimes literally) and providing size inside as the Knicks went from small to ridiculous, at one point playing three SFs with Tim Thomas at C. Used his size to bother Harrington a little inside, but got lit up otherwise. So F for the first half, at least something after the break, still one of his worst of the season.
Erika Eleniak -- Baywatch babe turned Playboy Playmate turned 90s Grade B movie hottie, there are just so many more interesting pictures of Erika that I can't post here. Was immensely cute in Steven Seagal's only ever respectable movie (Under Siege), and less untalented than the average I'm-only-starring-in-this-because-of-my-looks hottie (see Richards, Denise for a prime example).
Miller ( F ) -- and as Geoff continues to sit on his hands in "patient" fashion, our center's trade value continues to crater. Little talked about in the midst of our other problems is how far he has regressed again this season on the glass and defense, and of course the scary question of whether this is the permanent slide due to advancing age. In any case its getting worse, whatever it is, and tonight was just awful. A couple of lumbering drives to the hoop aside was helpess in the face of the fast attack in the first quarter and stood there with his arms dangling at his sides as Knick after Knick waltzed down the lane and David Lee destroyed him on the glass. Reggie didn't even bother trying to bring him back for the third quarter, and went with Thompson instead to get some energy. Reappeared briefly to begin the 4th quarter for some unknown reason, and was actually a little better, but come on now. Our "Ivory Towers" is broke.
Jada Pinkett Smith -- the better half of one of Hollywood's longest running power couples.
Salmons ( C- ) -- of course this game was played at his pace, so you would have thought...but no. It was briefly there in the early going when he was just about the only King doing anything, but it soon faded, and I think somewhat like Kevin, the Knicks tiny quick guard lineup caused him more problems than bigger, lumbering guys do. You can taango with Kobe, but Nate Robinson does you in? Then we tried to use him as a cooler on Harrington, and the flipside of his ability as a perimeter defender got exposed again -- he's small as a SF, and a power tweener like Harrington worked him over and put him in foul trouble. Had some moments, but just could not really get it going in the third when we briefly challenged. Like Cisco, could not hit the shot we needed, and maybe here is one of the only times the "he was tired" excuse is anything but an excuse. Possible. He worked extremely hard against Kobe down in L.A. And in an up and down game like this he just had no spark. So either he was tired...or he just sucked. I'll buy either. Oh, by the way still led us in scoring...with 14.
Brigitte Bardot -- her late life descent into chaninsmoking fascist hag may have cost her a few votes, but I said at the time I did not even know you could have a beautiful woman thread without Brigitte Bardot in it.
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