Grades v. Hornets 10/31

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Bricklayer

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Well...welcome to an exciting new season of Kings basketball everyone! Er...woot.

Those of you who were here last year may remember that as the midseason ugliness mounted, I made a midseason decision to try to spice up these grades threads a bit to provide some entertainment that was lacking on the court. Hence was born the Grades Thread Themes. I had generally assumed that the Themes would be a temporary phenomenon, necessary to maintain sanity through the later Muss era, but then to be set aside as we emerged with our exciting new squad this season. Except that there is no exciting new squad. Its the same crew. Which I have to tell you surprised me as much as much as anyone.

And so facing the same squad, the same results, I have decided to renew the Grades Thread Themes tradition. For tonight I was torn between doing a theme for Halloween, or doing a theme for Opening Night. After seeing what took place on the floor, I have decided we all need a pickmeup, and so Opening Night it is. And what better pickmeup then going back to the beginning? To what started it all. Oh the hours I slave away for you people! After conducting countless hours of grinding research into the topic (after all I had to be sure they were worthy of the honor), I present to you: Pretty Girls II (well..at least it picks me up -- I have decided I get to do a new one of these because its a new season)

Note: the first Pretty Girls them included: Kate Beckinsale -- who I have decided to marry (don't tell her current husband); Michelle Pfeiffer; Nicole Kidman; Elisha Cuthbert -- who is so beautiful I was tempted to bring her back for an encore; Morena Baccarin; Teri Hatcher; Aubrey Heburn (for a little vintage flair); some really really old chick who was not hot in the conventional sense, but may have been so in 1826; Kim Bassinger; Angelina Jolie -- who Donald Trump, in all his helpful wisdom and benevolence, now says I should have left off as nothing special; Vanessa Williams and Charisma Carpenter. It can be found here: http://kingsfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18077

Salmons ( A- ) -- kicked Peja's behind in the early going, on both ends of the court. And in fact was easily our best player of the first half. Slowed down after half, but still finished with the best line on the team -- 22pts 9ast. After Douby went down he was pressed into duty as a backup PG, which was unfortunate as Chris Paul had little trouble going where he wanted against him. I think Shakur was actually active for the game, but somehow I doubt Shakur vs. Paul would have gone much better. Strong game for John. At times the only thing keeping us within shouting distance. Aside from joining a parade of Kings who abruptly decided that leaving Peja wide oipen at the three point line was good strategy, did much good, and little bad. One note: the 9 assists were great, but on a night when we got pounded on the glass, getting only 2rebs out of John as our starting small forward (in 45min no less) hurt.
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Keira Knightly -- okay, yes, the girl really REALLY needs to eat something. But that said, if someone looking like the above happened to walk into the room you are in right now and your head did not involuntarily snap around long enough to at least decide she was too skinny for you...well, you are probably one of those people waiting for the second Hot Guys thread. Discovery that the girl can act -- seriously act, like on an Oscar level -- when I caught Pride & Prejudice over the summer adds something here too. More than just a pretty face.

Thomas ( D- ) -- did next to nothing out there, which made him indistinguishable form virtually our entire excuse for a front line. Got worked over badly by David West early, and that's one of the few SFs he's not even that much smaller than. Earned few second half minutes on his way to a nifty 0pt 3reb in 15min performance.
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Rachel McAdams -- this girl has always seemed over inclined to change her look, hair style, hair color etc. etc.. And she was always cute of course. But it was not until I caught her in the movie Redeye with the color/look above that it all really came together for me into...wow. Just wow. And so inclusion on this list became just a given. So Rachel, I know its a woman's preogative to screw around with her hair and all that bunk, but girl, you've found your look. Stick with it.

Miller ( C- ) -- shot well from the outside, but did little else early. Back may still have been bothering him, but either way, he was nonexistent on the glass. He did manage to get in one nice assist on a backcut by either Kevin or Cisco (I forget), and a nice block sequence insdei when the guy ran right up his chest. In the second half also finally found a guy he can post up when he found himself in the paint with 6'1" Chris Paul on him. Spent most of the game watching Tyson Chandler simply play above his head, and got very chippy about it, earning a T, complaining, and getting in a lot of low level extracurricular stuff inside. Anhd believe it or not, he was clearly the best of our veteran bigs tonight. Woohoo, and all that.
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Emmanuelle Chriqui -- just damn cute. No other way to put it. Nice taste in dresses too.

Martin ( B ) -- slow start, with a blown alley oop to get things going. But came on for a fairly smooth 12pt first half. The Hornets weren;t doubling him, but they were paying attention, and as it will be for much of this season, there were guys in his face all night. The Hornets kind of let us back into this one in the 4th quarter (they were playing a very shaky bench crew for long stretches until it was clear they were going to blow the lead, then reinserted the starters to lock it down). And Kevin and Cisco were at the heart of the "comeback". Was never explosive though. Just taking advanatage of mistakes, getting a few calls to go to the line etc. Was actually contained for most of the game. And hence his 26pts is both good and bad -- good in that he can be contained and get 26. Bad in that he got 26 and was really irrelevant. Wish he could have helped in other areas though, as we got crunched on the glass, with Kevin providing only 3 in 40 minutes, had only Salmons as an effective ballhandler, and watched the Hornets shoot 60% against us for much of the game(not many by Kevin's men though).
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Natalie Portman -- supposedly I was at a party with her once (as in I was at the party, she was at the party, not together)...yet I do not remember it. Certainly was not aware of her. And generally have my doubts. Amongst other things normally if there is a young hottie at a party she is going to make a point of coming over to throw herself at me at some point in the evening -- as you can imagine it gets embarrasing sometimes -- and oddly I do not recall that happening. Quick bit of trivia -- in the first Star Wars prequel Queen whoever (Natalie's character) managed to sneak away by leaving a heavily made up double of herself on the throne while she was out cradle robbing young Vader. That double? Played by none other than a young Keira Knightley (there is a real similarity once you start looking for it).
 
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Greene ( D ) -- this becomes an interesting grade, in that on what scale do you grade it? As a atsrting PG? Abject failure. As Orien Greene...eh.... In any case all you have to know is that our starting PG had 1 asssit, twice as many TOs, and scored his only hoop of the game in the garbagetime of the final minute. He was completely ineffective. Did nothing statistically in the first half, but did provide some minor harassment of opposing ballhandlers. Not that Greene was actually out there alone against Paul, as our early defensive strategy was to lay soft traps on CP with our bigs every time down the floor. But he at least pushed Paul in the right direction, generally kept up with him and stayed close...as he watched him slice us apart. And there is very little else to say about Greene's performance. He made one or two good hustle plays. He also showed a disturbing tendency to respond badly when Paul burned him, and to race back down the other way out of control to try to get one back. Did not work, and is more appropriate for a star type player than a guy who is clearly outmatched. In any case, I will not say this was completely horrible, so much as I will just say it was ineffective for what we needed tonight.
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Jessica Alba -- Passing over Miss Alba for a second straight list of this type would be done at my own peril, and to tell you the truth I wasn't even remotely tempted. I mean, come on now.

Douby ( B- ) -- came in and got a rude doublebarreled introduction to Tyson Chandler, who swatted his first shot attempt into next week, and then a couple of possessions later laid a blindside Brad Milleresque pick on Douby out in the open court that had him seeing double, or maybe even triple. Forced us to call a timeout. In between Quincy showed some offensive aggressiveness, but not much PG ability. Finally had to leave because of the blow, and now turns out he suffered a mild concussion. Just a nice little capper to a generally miserable evening.
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Monica Belluci -- If you've ever heard the phrase "she's all woman" being tossed about and been confused (as opposed to what? Part woman?), this is the creature it was intended to grace. Besides, I knew that if I left her off a second time several posters' heads would explode, and I do so like to avoid causing exploding heads. Makes such a mess. Just oozes sensuality. Best of all she was a law student -- see, I'm not the only drop dead sexy lawyer.

Moore ( D ) -- lets see, Moore highlights...um...er....missed a jumper! Um....got overpowered on the glass by Melvin Ely of all people! Um...missed jumper! finally got a little something going in the 4th quarter, while the Hornets were up 26 and just trying to play the string out. Moore and Reef were briefly equal to or maybe even better than Ely (who sucked tonight) and Hilton Armstrong (who made a lot of inexperienced mistakes). But the little something was quite little and not much above nothing. In general both Mikki and Kenny were outplayed by undrafted rookie Darrel Watkins.
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Eva Longoria -- What? You thought I was somehow going to omit Mrs. Tony Parker with the Spurs looming next? Watch for her in the crowd (I am sure the cameras will find her repeatedly). Might be much better to look at than the game itself.


Cisco ( B ) -- started off ragged off the bench, but finally settled in and had some impact as the first half wore down. But it was in the second half when he began to make an impact. Was particularly part of our 4th quarter comeback, limited and assisted by the Hornets as said comeback might have been. Played with spurts of energy, and on one sequence grabbed two offensive rebounds before draining a jumper from the corner. Of course in true Cisco fashion then went down to the other side of the court, gambled wildly on a steal aginst David West, and hence left Peja wide open in the corner for a three. Begin to wonder if he may not be a bit like JWill -- that perhaps you can either have wild and out of control Cisco who helps and hurts, or you can have muted and unnexceptional Cisco who does neither. In any case, I was not blown away by this performance, and the numebrs felt better than the actual game. But he, along with Salmons and Martin, did help us win the game at the OG and SF spots. Unfortunately we lost it badly everywhere else.
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Aishwarya Rai -- Bollywood's finest...you will find this woman populating the top of many a most beautiful woman on the planet list, starting when she became Miss World in 1994. Despite thinking she looks better in some shots than others, I am not inclined to argue her inclusion in just about any list you want to put together. I am sure to draw some howls of protest when I admit that there are times when I see photos of her and she just looks...strange. Too much in some way. The angles, the eyes jumping from her face. Then again there are times when she looks like the above, and that's just beyond ridiculous. You just stare. (actually looks somewhat like Ms. Jolie in that pic, which I suppose means that Trump would tell you Ms. Rai is nothing special either)
 
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Reef ( D ) -- looked about 256 years old out there tonight. Was completely ineffectual in the first half, and only marginally better in the second. Was rooted firmly to the ground, and we saw basically none of the nifty post moves. We did see a lot of Hornets going right over him like an oversized traffic cone. Had a brief stretch of effective play in the early 4th, when he and Mikki both salvaged Ds from what otherwise would have been Fs at the office. In Reef's case he basically out-saavied Hilton Armstrong, who may have talent, but is young and played very dumb tonight. Nonetheless, Reef became the third of our $20mil of vet PFs however to be outplayed by Darrel Watkins.
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Sharon Stone -- In this list I seem to have gravitated a bit away from blonds but not when the blond in question looks like this! I first spotted Sharon in a godawful action flick from the 80's called Action Jackson. It was a small role, but one of those first impressions, kind of like the first arresting look at a young Courtney Cox in Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark video with those brilliant blue eyes. Of course it helped that a) the movie was awful and there was nothing else to watch; b) I was a teenager and thinking with my hormones; c) Sharon's brief role ended with her sprawled out sans clothing on a bed after being murdered; and d) I was a teenager thinking with my hormones. Regardless, she was completely stunning. Oh, and BTW, that face also comes attached to a Mensa member. Which is pretty much just not fair.

Watkins ( B ) -- got a surprise first half call after both Mikki and Reef proved totally ineffective in there in the first half. And did what he was supposed ot do. Rebounded, finished at the rim, didn't look intimidated. Simple big man stuff that is such a staple precisely because its so effective. There were some rookie mistakes, but it was a solid first half outing for an undrafted nobody in his first game. That was about it, but it was a solid outing. Basically the only solid outing along our entire frontline tonight.
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Halle Berry -- long lauded as one of the world's most beautiful women, it took removing her clothes for the sake of her art to earn her an Oscar and respect as more than just pretty. Which I must admit is an approach that worked for me. Her time at the top is coming to an end now however. Its one of those sucky rules of Hollywood that once you hit the big 4-0 as an actress, your career is over. Julia Roberts wisely voluntarily bowed out before she was chased out. Meg Ryan realized that cute n' perky rom com chick works a lot better at 25 then 45, and promptly delivered a parting finger with a seedy sex flick. And seeing the end coming, Halle just chose to commit ritual career suicide byb appearing in Catwoman.

Theus ( B- ) -- Welcome back to the NBA Reggie! We'll all understand if you want to just go home now. So first real game of the Reggie regime, and what did we have... Well, first of all of course we were going into this one outmanned. And outmanned at all the most important positions. We actually won the battle at the 2 and the 3. But the Hornets won it at the 1, 4 and 5, and blew us out. Which should tell you much about what the more important postions are. First game wihtout Bibby looked disastrous. We basically had no PG play whatsoever. I would expect that if Geoff was having any thoughts at picking somebody up before this one, those thoughts are that much stronger now. Reggie made a good early move to try to minimize the discrepancy at PG by throwing soft traps at Paul up top. It did not stop Paul, but it did slow him for a while. Of course such a tactic is only going to work so long against one of the league's great ballhandlers, and once Paul and the Hornets figured it out, the rout was on. Did not help that we had to start runnign Salmons at PG with Douby gone. At 6'7" he didn't have a prayer of staying with CP. Reggie showed appropriate impatience with his incompetent frontcourt, quickly cycling through basically every big on the active roster. It was a surprise when that included heading all the way down to the 12th man in Darrel Watkins, but Darrel was probably the best of the bunch. Of course the impatience seemed a bit over the top at times -- there was one strange sequence in the second quarter when Reggie appeared to do yank Watkins for some mysterious offense after a few minutes of play, then change his mind and throw him back into the game during the same break (FTs were being shot). Not sure what that was about. In any case, like ANY coach, and let's just put this to bed once and for all, Reggie found guys he could trust (Salmons, Kevin, Cisco late), on the night at least, and rode them into the ground. Unfortunately there just weren't enoguh of them. And even the guys he had were good, but not great, and played the wing positions and not positions that would allow them to control the glass/interior, or consistently run the team. So...maybe a punt on this first game. The team got blown out -- the game was not as close as the final score, and a disastrous run at the end of the 2nd quarter probably effectively ended it. But Reggie, while he did nothing really special, also was not obviously the cause of our downfall. I have some definite questions -- our emphasis on reboudning? Er...no. On defense? Er...no. And I have no idea what the offense was supposed to be. But for a game at least, and likely this weekend's as well, even Phil Riley Aurebach would have been hardpressed to find a gameplan that would have worked.
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Raquel Welch -- and just as last time I included the lovely Audrey Hepburn, felt like I should reach back again to a great vintage beauty -- Raquel Welch as one of the premier sex symbols of the 60's and 70s.
 
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nbrans said:
Placeholder F- to AT&T's UVerse for not offering NBA League Pass and making me miss this game.
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if it makes you feel any better, listening to the New Orleans announcers was about as appealing as listening to someone scratching their fingers across a chalkboard.
 
OK.. Before the games end I will summarize what we have..


Brad Miller - Inflated salary, poor rebounder, but better than average due to his passing, and the ability to set screens to get our 3pt shooters open. As centers go Brad gets a 7 out of ten, meaning he is better than 7 out of 10 starting centers.

Kevin Martin - Shooting guard that gets to the line at will. Great FT shooter to boot so he scores a lot when the clock is stopped. If I had to grade him I would say he is probably better than 8 out of 10 starting shooting guards.

John Salmons - Tweener which would be a great 6th man. But of course he will get 30+ minutes a night with us because we have nobody else. Glad we actually have Salmons. Decent pickup. Rated a 7 out of 10 as far as 6th men go.

Francisco Garcia - Has the potential to be someone we can use. But another one of those tweeners. Can play SG, and SF. Also play some point forward. Another one of those 6th men players, but I think he can take it to the next level and start at SF given the opportunity. 5 out of 10 as a starter, and 6.5 out of 10 as a 6th man. Salmons edges him because of experience.

As it stands now with Bibby, Hawes, and Artest out I believe we should tell the rest of the players to take a hike. This team is pathetic with an exception for the players above. Greene does not even belong on an NBA team, Moore is a nice hustle guy, but no more than a guy at the end of a bench on halfway decent teams. Douby needs another year of 10th man role (sucks he got injured tonight). KT has no passion for the game anymore, and deserves a kick in the butt out of Sac. SAR is just too far gone.. UGH.. looks like a long year :)
 
I am sorry, but I just get mad when I see our starting PF get no points, and 3 boards in 15 minutes with 3 fouls. SAR didn't do any better. 2pts 4rbds 2ast in 18 minutes with 5 fouls? ugh.. And Moore with 20 minutes with 3pts 4rbds and 4 fouls..

So our PF lineup managed 5 points 11 boards 3 assists, and 12 fouls in 53 minutes.. Talk about production. :rolleyes:
 
Heuge said:
if it makes you feel any better, listening to the New Orleans announcers was about as appealing as listening to someone scratching their fingers across a chalkboard.
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amen to that.. they were aweful.. now i feel lucky to have heinson and gorman over here for the celts games, the kings guys arent to bad either but wow there really are some terrible terrible announcers.
 
My totally unrelated to basketball grades:

New News10 sideline reporter: D-
As I said in the game thread it was like watching bad public access television. Not that Public Access TV isn't in itself already bad, but this was the really bad kind. =/

New Team Warm ups - A!
I'm glad they got rid of the backpack/sports bra stap looking ones

Brad's Hair- C
At least it wasn't in cornrows again, but he needs a hair cut. I just hope its not a "I won't cut my hair until the team wins!" promise he's got going on.
 
Bricklayer said:
Cisco ( B ) -- started off ragged off the bench, but finally settled in and had some impact as the first half wore down. But it was in the second half when he began to make an impact. Was particularly part of our 4th quarter comeback, limited and assisted by the Hornets as said comeback might have been. Played with spurts of energy, and on one sequence grabbed two offensive rebounds before draining a jumper from the corner. Of course in true Cisco fashion then went down to the other side of the court, gambled wildly on a steal aginst David West, and hence left Peja wide open in the corner for a three. Begin to wonder if he may not be a bit like JWill -- that perhaps you can either have wild and out of control Cisco who helps and hurts, or you can have muted and unnexceptional Cisco who does neither. In any case, I was not blown away by this performance, and the numebrs felt better than the actual game. But he, along with Salmons and Martin, did help us win the game at the OG and SF spots. Unfortunately we lost it badly everywhere else.
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I've been comparing him to Jason for quite a while, so I'm glad to see you saying it, too. It's almost as though they need to create a special position just for him. Something in between a 2 and a 3... maybe a 2 7/8?
 
You'd better not let me hear you talking about the greatness of Action Jackson like that again! Carl Weathers > j00!
 
Bricklayer said:
After conducting countless hours of grinding research into the topic (after all I had to be sure they were worthy of the honor), I present to you: Pretty Girls II (well..at least it picks me up -- I have decided I get to do a new one of these because its a new season)

Note: the first Pretty Girls them included: Kate Beckinsale -- who I have decided to marry (don't tell her current husband); Michelle Pfeiffer; Nicole Kidman; Elisha Cuthbert -- who is so beautiful I was tempted to bring her back for an encore; Morena Baccarin; Teri Hatcher; Aubrey Heburn (for a little vintage flair); some really really old chick who was not hot in the conventional sense, but may have been so in 1826; Kim Bassinger; Angelina Jolie -- who Donald Trump, in all his helpful wisdom and benevolence, now says I should have left off as nothing special; Vanessa Williams and Charisma Carpenter. It can be found here: http://kingsfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18077
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Ahh, thanks Brick! Best way to start the new season if they are going to play in any way resembling last year (lots of losses).

Your theme is a beautiful balm for an ugly loss. :D
 
I did not see the game but based VF's play by play. Maybe Theus should know better now that KT is only good at PF when it's preseason. :)

With NOH's lineup, I think KT should have started at SF coz there isn't any speedy SF on that team, so he can still keep up to them on defense and should be able to outrebound against most of the SF on NOH. Watkins/Miller are much better to play for the starting C/PF.

If Theus is true to his word on preseason, then KT should not be starting next game. We better have this lineup:

C - Watkins/Moore
PF - Miller/Reef
SF - Salmons/KT
SG- Martin/Garcia
PG- Douby/Green
 
our power forward rotation looks ridiculous. i think moore and thomas combined for 8 points and 8 rebounds. discustingly pathetic
 
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