Bricklayer
Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Well, let's get to it:
Luke ( B- ) -- wants to do the right thing, but is afflicted with the same terminally whiny disease that devastated his father's stature in the prequel trilogy. Needs to be slapped, and with the maturity of a 15 yr old his hinted at as it turns out incestuous interest in his sister Leia is kinda sad/creepy. Nonetheless, was the big hero in the end after he started hearing voices, so have to give him some credit.
Han ( A- ) -- there was some overacting here, but its little surprise that Ford was the only actor from possibly the most famous movie of all time to launch a legit career out of it (unless you count James Earl I suppose). Sly and mostly charming, and of course provides the bulk of the funny moments in the film.
Leia ( B ) -- ah Leia. I really dug her when I was like 7. Sassy girl of course, but really more of a b*tch at times than anything else, and also was not helped at all by the jolting transitions her wonderful director made her go through. Hung in there though as one of the few fully grownup elements in the film. Bonus points for the goofy hair, and while its easy to forget, for also being one of the first early scifi heroines who could take care of themselves. (Sigourney did not do her nifty bit in Alien for another couple of years).
Chewbaca ( C+ ) -- poor Chewie. You want to like him, you really do. He actually manages to be one of the more entertaining characters despite his limitations. But since his limitations seem to include only being able to make two very annoying noises again and again, its hard to go much higher with the grade. Also struggles to be intimidating with his resemblance to a giant teddy bear. Still though, arguably the character who got the most out of the least (although R2D2 is a close second).
Obi Wan ( A- ) -- given a little dignity by being played by the great British actor Sir Alec Guniness. Spouts a lot of mumbo jumbo, and after he blindfolded me and had his little training tennis ball shoot me with the little laser, I might have had to kick his scrawny old ***. Nonetheless, is a solid mature presence in the middle of the film until his puzzling decision to just be a quitter against Darth Vader.
C3PO ( C ) -- the most traditionally "comic relief" of all the characters really needs to be chopped up and soold as scrap. He's whiny, he's wimpy, and he blames others for his own shortcomings. Still, he can make you laugh sometimes, but he's very much like the "cute" little brat kids Hollywood throws at you incessantly -- where's a good woodchipper when you need one?
R2D2 ( B+ ) -- obviously the more likable of the two droids, and like Chewbaca gets a lot out of only two or three sounds (although a lot of his offense is set up by having C3PO there to interpret and react). Brave little guy, but suffers from being too cocksure and stubbron for his (or anyone else's) good. Here's a question for you -- how do we know that "he" isn't really a "she"?
Darth ( A- ) -- and I grade him only on this performance, because the fact of the matter is that the prequels completely ruined any dignity he might have had by having him played by a scrawny whiner who probably got sand kicked in his face at the playground, and the 3rd original (Return of the Jedi) revealed him to be a tubby bald guy with bad teeth. But this one was of course what established him as an iconic villain, and he got lucky enough to use James Earl Jones's cool voice to do it with. Loses a tic for backing down to Admiral whatshisname when choking the uppity officer -- you ahve a damn lightsaber. Use it.
As for the other thing that was on....
Artest ( B ) -- was very aggressive trying to draw fouls all game long. But got into quick foul trouble himself (who didn't?). Was not really very effective slowing down Pierce in the early going, and in fact Pierce had his best moments of the game while being guarded by Ron -- even faked Ron right out of his sneakers and onto his backside on one play down the stretch. Ron also got a little shaky as the Celtics tried to come back in the late going. Forced a quick shot, blew an open layup. Fell for that fake. Not a great end to this one. Almost threw a minus onto this one for the late shakiness.
Thomas ( B ) -- grabebd one nice board right over the back of Wally (not exactly difficult, but still), but nothing much else in the first half as we got creamed on the glass. Good third quarter shooting a lot of FTs (again, shocker), and actually making them (which was an actual shocker). Then was mystreriously put on ice by Muss.
Miller ( B ) -- did little before half, grabbed a few baords, but otherwise got worked over by Jefferson and answered the eternal trivia question "who exactly in the NBA can Brian Scalabrine actually guard?" Had a good third quarter though, and his passing in aprticualr was part of the reason we built the healthy lead. Came back to as it turned out, hit a pair of, "big" FTs with a minute and a half to go, and us up only 1. Over the 13-39 Celtics. At home. Lordy.
Martin ( C ) -- started off fast converting open looks, but ended up wiht an unattractive game. 22pts is nice and demanded some level of grade. But get this. 22pts. 0rebs. 0asts. 0stl. Did have 2 TOs (one at a critical point in our late collapse). Even for a shooting guard, which is arguably the position where you get the most one dimensional statlines from, that was just not good. Committed a really dumb foul with 0.3 seconds to go in the first half. Completely unnecessary. Defense was on and off. I can remember a few nice plays. I also distinctly recall him doing that leaking out thing where he guesses at the steal and then just racing up court looking to cheery pick ratehr than come back and play defense. Flopping and trying to draw fouls too much again -- needs an intervention from family and friends before he gets a Manu rep. Missed multiple shots down the stretch, and was no factor late. Basically, the points said good. But there was nothing else tonight.
Bibby ( D ) -- No idea what happened here. Started off the game hot. Had 10 points by the end fo the first quarter, and then...did he leave the building? I mean, jsut bizarrely compeltely absent. Just that burst, and then no points, in fact no anything. Was n;t getting it done on defense either as Delonte West's three popint barrage will attest (soem of that was over Martin, Price etc. as well).
Reef ( C- ) -- nifty step through and dunk move when Jefferson went parachuting in the early going, and then went completely passive. No boardwork, no stopping Jefferson. Nada.
Salmons ( B ) -- effective first half exploiting mismatches agianst smaller guards, in early 4th nice drive and dish to Corliss -- drew all the defense and then wrapped it around to Corliss for the easy one. Missed an open jumper set up by Ron with 30 seconds to go, but got bailed out when Ron grabbed the rebound. One of those more effective than the numbers games maybe, but also had stretches of silence.
Price ( B ) -- Surprise early subm and in the first half was solid. Grabbed a nice rebound, took a charge. In the second half we had trouble consistently breaking the press with him at PG, and he made a few shaky mistakes.
Corliss ( C ) -- got some of his normal points, but did nothing else and was sloppy and turned it over, including a late on that hurt.
Cisco ( B ) -- hit his threes and did a better job of just taking the open shots that came his way, although still did make a couple of shaky plays as usual.
Douby ( INC ) -- 11th guy into the game the first quarter, played 4 seconds says the box. Muss rocks.
Muss ( ) -- Almost at word limit, so notes: early Price; 11 guys first quarter?? Bench faded badly in the early 4th. 18 pt lead in the third got down to 1, and if the Celtics hit their FTs... We hung on for a mighty victory. So many late TOs. 4th quarter collapse. Yay.
Refs ( F ) -- godawful foulfest. FTs every single time down the floor. I think I fouled out of this one, and I was 3000 miles away. Actually I feel as if I was fouled..by my TV for watching this thing.
Luke ( B- ) -- wants to do the right thing, but is afflicted with the same terminally whiny disease that devastated his father's stature in the prequel trilogy. Needs to be slapped, and with the maturity of a 15 yr old his hinted at as it turns out incestuous interest in his sister Leia is kinda sad/creepy. Nonetheless, was the big hero in the end after he started hearing voices, so have to give him some credit.
Han ( A- ) -- there was some overacting here, but its little surprise that Ford was the only actor from possibly the most famous movie of all time to launch a legit career out of it (unless you count James Earl I suppose). Sly and mostly charming, and of course provides the bulk of the funny moments in the film.
Leia ( B ) -- ah Leia. I really dug her when I was like 7. Sassy girl of course, but really more of a b*tch at times than anything else, and also was not helped at all by the jolting transitions her wonderful director made her go through. Hung in there though as one of the few fully grownup elements in the film. Bonus points for the goofy hair, and while its easy to forget, for also being one of the first early scifi heroines who could take care of themselves. (Sigourney did not do her nifty bit in Alien for another couple of years).
Chewbaca ( C+ ) -- poor Chewie. You want to like him, you really do. He actually manages to be one of the more entertaining characters despite his limitations. But since his limitations seem to include only being able to make two very annoying noises again and again, its hard to go much higher with the grade. Also struggles to be intimidating with his resemblance to a giant teddy bear. Still though, arguably the character who got the most out of the least (although R2D2 is a close second).
Obi Wan ( A- ) -- given a little dignity by being played by the great British actor Sir Alec Guniness. Spouts a lot of mumbo jumbo, and after he blindfolded me and had his little training tennis ball shoot me with the little laser, I might have had to kick his scrawny old ***. Nonetheless, is a solid mature presence in the middle of the film until his puzzling decision to just be a quitter against Darth Vader.
C3PO ( C ) -- the most traditionally "comic relief" of all the characters really needs to be chopped up and soold as scrap. He's whiny, he's wimpy, and he blames others for his own shortcomings. Still, he can make you laugh sometimes, but he's very much like the "cute" little brat kids Hollywood throws at you incessantly -- where's a good woodchipper when you need one?
R2D2 ( B+ ) -- obviously the more likable of the two droids, and like Chewbaca gets a lot out of only two or three sounds (although a lot of his offense is set up by having C3PO there to interpret and react). Brave little guy, but suffers from being too cocksure and stubbron for his (or anyone else's) good. Here's a question for you -- how do we know that "he" isn't really a "she"?
Darth ( A- ) -- and I grade him only on this performance, because the fact of the matter is that the prequels completely ruined any dignity he might have had by having him played by a scrawny whiner who probably got sand kicked in his face at the playground, and the 3rd original (Return of the Jedi) revealed him to be a tubby bald guy with bad teeth. But this one was of course what established him as an iconic villain, and he got lucky enough to use James Earl Jones's cool voice to do it with. Loses a tic for backing down to Admiral whatshisname when choking the uppity officer -- you ahve a damn lightsaber. Use it.
As for the other thing that was on....
Artest ( B ) -- was very aggressive trying to draw fouls all game long. But got into quick foul trouble himself (who didn't?). Was not really very effective slowing down Pierce in the early going, and in fact Pierce had his best moments of the game while being guarded by Ron -- even faked Ron right out of his sneakers and onto his backside on one play down the stretch. Ron also got a little shaky as the Celtics tried to come back in the late going. Forced a quick shot, blew an open layup. Fell for that fake. Not a great end to this one. Almost threw a minus onto this one for the late shakiness.
Thomas ( B ) -- grabebd one nice board right over the back of Wally (not exactly difficult, but still), but nothing much else in the first half as we got creamed on the glass. Good third quarter shooting a lot of FTs (again, shocker), and actually making them (which was an actual shocker). Then was mystreriously put on ice by Muss.
Miller ( B ) -- did little before half, grabbed a few baords, but otherwise got worked over by Jefferson and answered the eternal trivia question "who exactly in the NBA can Brian Scalabrine actually guard?" Had a good third quarter though, and his passing in aprticualr was part of the reason we built the healthy lead. Came back to as it turned out, hit a pair of, "big" FTs with a minute and a half to go, and us up only 1. Over the 13-39 Celtics. At home. Lordy.
Martin ( C ) -- started off fast converting open looks, but ended up wiht an unattractive game. 22pts is nice and demanded some level of grade. But get this. 22pts. 0rebs. 0asts. 0stl. Did have 2 TOs (one at a critical point in our late collapse). Even for a shooting guard, which is arguably the position where you get the most one dimensional statlines from, that was just not good. Committed a really dumb foul with 0.3 seconds to go in the first half. Completely unnecessary. Defense was on and off. I can remember a few nice plays. I also distinctly recall him doing that leaking out thing where he guesses at the steal and then just racing up court looking to cheery pick ratehr than come back and play defense. Flopping and trying to draw fouls too much again -- needs an intervention from family and friends before he gets a Manu rep. Missed multiple shots down the stretch, and was no factor late. Basically, the points said good. But there was nothing else tonight.
Bibby ( D ) -- No idea what happened here. Started off the game hot. Had 10 points by the end fo the first quarter, and then...did he leave the building? I mean, jsut bizarrely compeltely absent. Just that burst, and then no points, in fact no anything. Was n;t getting it done on defense either as Delonte West's three popint barrage will attest (soem of that was over Martin, Price etc. as well).
Reef ( C- ) -- nifty step through and dunk move when Jefferson went parachuting in the early going, and then went completely passive. No boardwork, no stopping Jefferson. Nada.
Salmons ( B ) -- effective first half exploiting mismatches agianst smaller guards, in early 4th nice drive and dish to Corliss -- drew all the defense and then wrapped it around to Corliss for the easy one. Missed an open jumper set up by Ron with 30 seconds to go, but got bailed out when Ron grabbed the rebound. One of those more effective than the numbers games maybe, but also had stretches of silence.
Price ( B ) -- Surprise early subm and in the first half was solid. Grabbed a nice rebound, took a charge. In the second half we had trouble consistently breaking the press with him at PG, and he made a few shaky mistakes.
Corliss ( C ) -- got some of his normal points, but did nothing else and was sloppy and turned it over, including a late on that hurt.
Cisco ( B ) -- hit his threes and did a better job of just taking the open shots that came his way, although still did make a couple of shaky plays as usual.
Douby ( INC ) -- 11th guy into the game the first quarter, played 4 seconds says the box. Muss rocks.
Muss ( ) -- Almost at word limit, so notes: early Price; 11 guys first quarter?? Bench faded badly in the early 4th. 18 pt lead in the third got down to 1, and if the Celtics hit their FTs... We hung on for a mighty victory. So many late TOs. 4th quarter collapse. Yay.
Refs ( F ) -- godawful foulfest. FTs every single time down the floor. I think I fouled out of this one, and I was 3000 miles away. Actually I feel as if I was fouled..by my TV for watching this thing.
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