I am Beer dumb. I can't tell what taste good, what taste bad, what is over priced, what is under priced .. I need an education.
I've stated this many times to friends ; If I was going to be any kind of snob, it would be a beer/whine snob. I secretly want to be 'that guy' , but I don't even know where to start.
Educate me. Give me something that will change my beer life.
Well... for starters wine is a hugely more complex world than beer. And you rarely find a serious wine snob attempt to publicly display beer snobbery as well, other than to appear to have the most basic of opinions/preferences covered. If you're looking to be a snob of something... I'd start with beer.
But, I'll say this... I think from the outside it seems more intimidating than it is, precisely because the snobbery makes it seem so. It's really not. You can hear people talking about hopsy this, malty that, etc... but if I were you, I'd just start really simple and follow your taste buds. You could stick to like three beers for a long time and just claim out loud "These are the best beers... I don't drink anything else." That should make you sound sufficently snobby. That's kind of the approach I take. I get to like a beer and then defend it with a passion. Guinness for example. That would be a good one to start with. It's one of the most respected beers in the world. There is a special way to pour it, bartenders need to be trained. If I were you I'd start with that one, get to know it, and then compare all other dark beers to that one. Have you had good Guinness? (From a tap, poured by someone who knew what they were doing.) That right there should change your beer life. What I might do is line up one of the crappiest beers out there... maybe like a michelob ultra, or any "ice" beer... next to a Guinness... first taste the ultra... then the Guinness. Then you'll get what all the fuss is about. Problem is that anyplace that knows how to serve a Guinness probably wouldn't be caught dead with crap on tap.
But, in a similar way that thrift stores are now cool... some of the really cheap beers are now chic... Pabst Blue Ribbon for example. Really, a lot of it is about image... there's no logical reason why in Portland Oregon or other super hips spots that they usually reserve a tap for PBR, rather than Budwieser... It's just that Bud is associated with trailor trash, nascar, huntin and a fishin, aligators, airboats, and conservative politics while PBR is associated with blue collar, hockey, working class trades people, loggers... things that can be justifiably cool. Taste wise/quality wise there isn't much difference.
My concern for you if you go to a good brew pub and have the server line up some samples for you and give you an education, is that you might get lost in that person's complex opinions and terminology, blah blah blah.... They might just be overly complicating things just to make themselves sound smart. Don't buy into that.
Be beer proud. If you like something, own that. There's no real objective judgement criteria... well... to a degree of course!
But for three you might start with, just to get some basic geography, I'd go:
1. Guinness
2. Pilsner Urquell (most "American Beers" like bud, michelob, etc. are technically pilsners. But when it comes to a REAL pilsner... this is what it really is. you could line up budwieser next to this one and taste the difference. that would be interesting!)
3. A good real strong tasting amber ale... you could try Full Sail Amber Ale... You might not like it... but you'll forever remember what an "ale" tastes like. Can't readily think of a popular but cheap ale to compare it to...