Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

DECAF COFFEE



OK...maybe not the most tortuous substance known to man, but decaf coffee aggravates me. It's probably a great alternative to my other drink (at least that one has alcohol), but after a sleepless night of food poisoning, migraines, and fending off vampire bats and mosquitoes, I'll be needing a nice cup o' jo in the morning...then I find out it's decaf...

...ugh. That's just deflating.
 
What the heck? I haven't timed out guys. The pick before me was at 10:05 last night, so I have until 10:05 tonight to make my first pick. Guys, don't be so quick to skip people.
 
What the heck? I haven't timed out guys. The pick before me was at 10:05 last night, so I have until 10:05 tonight to make my first pick. Guys, don't be so quick to skip people.
You're right...sorry about that. I didn't look at the times...I just went off of the PM.

I'd be happy to pull either or both of my picks if you were planning on picking them. Let me know.
 
You're right...sorry about that. I didn't look at the times...I just went off of the PM.

I'd be happy to pull either or both of my picks if you were planning on picking them. Let me know.
No, it's fine, I wasn't thinking of anything close to either of those picks. Anyways don't worry about it and you got a PM from someone saying it was your turn so obviously it would have been easy for you not to notice.:)
 
Well here's my first one:

School



School is horrible... I will have to wake up extremely early every morning and be taken to school until late at night. I will be taught all of the most difficult and most boring concepts and also live through all of the annoying people at school. :(
 

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
Well here's my first one:

School



School is horrible... I will have to wake up extremely early every morning and be taken to school until late at night. I will be taught all of the most difficult and most boring concepts and also live through all of the annoying people at school. :(
OK, and the second? You time out in about 6 hours (2 pm or so).
 
Sorry bout that.

Taxes



Not only will the religious converters be coming around trying to convert everyone, but so will the IRS be coming around taking a share of everything. I hate being taxed...
 

Warhawk

Give blood and save a life!
Staff member
No PM from Larry....



anyways, I take Mr. Annoying himself - Tom Cruise in all his Scientology spouting (not trying to convert me, mind you, just being himself and open about his beliefs), "jumping the couch", post-partum Brooke Shields antidepressant bashing, Matt Lauer arguement, IAS Freedom Medal of Valor ceremony video, anti-psychiatry and anti-drug ranting best.

Just what I need when I am being stretched on the rack - some guy jumping on top of it telling me that I don't need any drugs and how much he loves his church and Katie. Yeah, that helps.
 

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Not sure if the Brown Reculse Spider pick will fly for both the deadliness, and the spider choice, but I guess I'll pick anyways.

Since my imprisonment began I have suffered limitless physical, psychological, and emotional pain. I have watched my loved ones raped, tortured, and murdered, and I have suffered weeks with minimal sleep. My body is covered in stings from the jellyfish, bumps and bruising from tumbling down the escalator and intensified by the fibromyalgia, and I've got some severe intestinal parasites from the raw sewage. But the worst part of this whole experience is losing my sanity due to the hallucinations, seizures, involuntary spasms, and terror caused by the bad drug trips. After being in isolation for far too long I have developed an intense case of this. With my 9th pick, I select:

Schizophrenia



Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. Distortions in perception may affect all five senses, including sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch, but most commonly manifest as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social or occupational dysfunction.

Signs and Symptoms:
A person diagnosed with schizophrenia may demonstrate auditory hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized and unusual thinking and speech; this may range from loss of train of thought and subject flow, with sentences only loosely connected in meaning, to incoherence, known as word salad, in severe cases. Social isolation commonly occurs for a variety of reasons. Impairment in social cognition is associated with schizophrenia, as are symptoms of paranoia from delusions and hallucinations, and the negative symptoms of avolition (apathy or lack of motivation). In one uncommon subtype, the person may be largely mute, remain motionless in bizarre postures, or exhibit purposeless agitation; these are signs of catatonia. No one sign is diagnostic of schizophrenia, and all can occur in other medical and psychiatric conditions. The current classification of psychoses holds that symptoms need to have been present for at least one month in a period of at least six months of disturbed functioning. A schizophrenia-like psychosis of shorter duration is termed a schizophreniform disorder.

Late adolescence and early adulthood are peak years for the onset of schizophrenia. In 40% of men and 23% of women diagnosed with schizophrenia, the condition arose before the age of 19. These are critical periods in a young adult's social and vocational development, and they can be severely disrupted. To minimize the effect of schizophrenia, much work has recently been done to identify and treat the prodromal (pre-onset) phase of the illness, which has been detected up to 30 months before the onset of symptoms, but may be present longer. Those who go on to develop schizophrenia may experience the non-specific symptoms of social withdrawal, irritability and dysphoria in the prodromal period, and transient or self-limiting psychotic symptoms in the prodromal phase before psychosis becomes apparent

Schizophrenia is often described in terms of positive and negative (or deficit) symptoms. The term positive symptoms refers to symptoms that most individuals do not normally experience. They include delusions, auditory hallucinations, and thought disorder, and are typically regarded as manifestations of psychosis. Negative symptoms are so-named because they are considered to be the loss or absence of normal traits or abilities, and include features such as flat or blunted affect and emotion, poverty of speech (alogia), inability to experience pleasure (anhedonia), lack of desire to form relationships (asociality), and lack of motivation (avolition). Research suggests that negative symptoms contribute more to poor quality of life, functional disability, and the burden on others than do positive symptoms.

Despite the appearance of blunted affect, recent studies indicate that there is often a normal or even heightened level of emotionality in schizophrenia, especially in response to stressful or negative events. A third symptom grouping, the disorganization syndrome, is commonly described, and includes chaotic speech, thought, and behavior. There is evidence for a number of other symptom classifications
Cthulhu plays with my psyche, as I can now hear voices in my cell. Some of those are from Cthulhu's creations, and some are my own madness, and I can't tell the difference anymore. I'm losing my mind!

More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia
 
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So I am on an island covered in asphalt with lots of meth, lots of obese elderly nudists dancing the macarena, a civil war tent hospital, the worst and most disturbing episode of any show playing on an omni-directional jumbo tron and instead of being out at sea, my island is in the middle of a lake of liquid hot magma... oh yeah, I am personally responsible for the inhabitants of the island, so no time to rest and wallow in agony, got to keep moving... how do things get worse? Well, the food is yet to be selected... so what will I be eating? Something delicious? At first... something sweet? Oh yeah! I select Pink Cotton Candy



How can cotton candy possibly be a bad thing? Ever eat a whole lot of it? It gives you a headache and makes you puke. It takes forever to eat, gets all over your hands and face, it is mostly air, and, most importantly, unlike the other things selected like lutefisk, there is NOTHING I can do to cotton candy to make it taste any different. It lacks any sort of flavor complexity unlike maggot cheese and the others, so there is no way for me to begin to acquire a taste for it and appreciate it's subtle qualities. I like it now as much as I will ever like it. Unfortunately, to stay alive eating just sugar, I will need to consume a lot of it whenever I am going to perform any tasks to build up a sugar high... then the crash...

Also, those obese meth taking elderly nudist will see me eating Cotton Candy and want to take a bite... you know what happens when you bite a cotton candy, your spit turns part of it dark and wet... so nasty.
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
I select: Millions of Brown Recluse Spiders

One bite and your skin begins to rot... deadly poisonous... and altogether creepy.
I said right after the original pick of 'Spiders' that specific species would still be allowed.

Im not a fan of the huge blanket picks, but since there was no rule against it 'Spiders' would stand, but following picks must be specific.

And it is to be assumed that EndGame would get bitten, suffer the pain, skin necrosis and whatever other symptoms the Recluse bite gives, and then RIGHT as he is healthy enough to be bitten again. It happens.

The pick stands given those assumed conditions.
 

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
I suppose its time I select a food source:


Cannibalism

Welcome to the menu. :p

I don't know, maybe I live downstream from a medical waste facility and bodies wash ashore. Maybe I just get to eat the bodies Chuck Norris leaves scattered behind him. But in any case, you are the food. Now if I can just import a few fava beans...

P.S. No, I am not allowed to eat Rush Limbaugh or Roseanne, assuming of course they even qualify as human.
 
A bunch of drunken football hooligans harassing me all the time.



I hate drunk people of all persuasions, even most of my friends. It's just something about alcohol that turns even the coolest people into obnoxious ***holes or whiny idiots and I can't stand it, because most of the time, I'm sober enough to suffer them. Now I don't know whether it's the alcohol that turns football fans, specifically hooligans, into such unsufferable jerks, since drunk is basically their default set of being, or if they're always obnoxious. Be that as it may, the idea of constantly being heckled, harrased and sometimes even phisycally assaulted by a bunch of idiotic lowlifes is scary at any point, but put that into the scenario of the island and you've got the stuff nightmares are made out of.
 
A bunch of drunken football hooligans harassing me all the time.



I hate drunk people of all persuasions, even most of my friends. It's just something about alcohol that turns even the coolest people into obnoxious ***holes or whiny idiots and I can't stand it, because most of the time, I'm sober enough to suffer them. Now I don't know whether it's the alcohol that turns football fans, specifically hooligans, into such unsufferable jerks, since drunk is basically their default set of being, or if they're always obnoxious. Be that as it may, the idea of constantly being heckled, harrased and sometimes even phisycally assaulted by a bunch of idiotic lowlifes is scary at any point, but put that into the scenario of the island and you've got the stuff nightmares are made out of.
Love this pick! Nicely done!
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
This one doesn't need a whole elaborate picture/introduction to make it seem even worse than it is...

I live in a desert. Always 110 degrees with no shade. With that heat and sun comes...

A constant HORRIBLE case of sunburn.

I can't escape the heat. It's always there, and the sunburn accompanies it.

Ugh...Sunburn sucks so badly...
 
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A constant HORRIBLE case of sunburn.
Ugh...Sunburn sucks so badly...
Ohhh:mad: that would be the mother of my picks right there. There is nothing I have suffered that was more terrible than blisters all over my body due to a couple of carefree hours of fun in the sun. I would rather be stung by Jellyfish, at least the constant pain wouldn't last a week.
 
I dont feel like there is quite enough physical pain on my island, so without further ado - I draft Frequent Beatings by UFC HW Champion Brock Lesnar

For those of you who dont know who he is, check the dude on the left.


Here he is towering over his opponenet, Frank Mir who is a pretty large man himself.

This guy isnt the most technical fighter I could have drafted, but he is hands down most physically opposing fighter in the UFC ( and a hell of alot more techical then me .. ) and I gotta get in the cage with him regularly...

Just to emphasize how big this man is, They needed to order him specially made gloves because his hands where too big to fit in any glove size they currently had available.
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
You do realize that by defaulting on FOUR picks, GeraldWallace#3 has actually created a situation that has caused pain and misery for pretty much everyone else in the draft, right? Diabolically clever? Fiendish plot? Hrrrrmmmmm...

;)
 
Alrighty, with this pick I'll go with something that I can really really relate too. I draft Severely Sprained Ankles. As alot of you may know, there isnt much worse than a really really bad ankle sprain .. They absolutely killed me during high school, and the thing is they really dont heal unless you stay completely off your feet for months, and that is nearly impossible for a high school athlete. Obviously I didnt want to miss games, especially my senior year as I knew that would most likely be it for me ( at least for soccer ..)

For your enjorment, I'll provide you with a 100% real picture of one of my ankle sprains I suffered in a junior year soccer game .. it wasnt my worst.



As you can see, my ankle is basically absorbed by the rest of my foot because of how swolen it was. The bruise went all the way to my toes .. it hurt like hellll

Then there is the walking .. you try and put pessure on it and you think your good, then you turn the wrong way and completely claps .. its almost funny.

So I now have to fight Mr. Lesnar with two sprained ankles .. I like my odds :eek:
 

SLAB

Hall of Famer
I have a pick.
It's very similar to a pick made earlier, but just isn't the same...
I actually have it happen to me, but Im going to send a PM to the person who has the similar pick. As commish Im not going to deem my pick acceptable just because I can, so Im going to put the power in the pickers hand...

Ill have a pick or a backup when I get a PM back.