Crime of the Day - Keep it light-hearted

[Warhawk]

Police Arrest Nude In-Line Skater 'Gennifer Moss' When Construction Workers Complain

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,425681,00.html

PORTLAND, Ore. — Portland Police took a waterfront Lady Godiva down a notch this week.
Barely.
They were getting calls about a nude on-line skater whizzing past tourists and rush-hour commuters.
But you can do that in Oregon, where occasional nude bike rides draw police only for crowd control and shows featuring live sex acts are protected as free speech.
The skater, Gennifer Moss, aka Earth Friend Gen, asked organizers for permission this summer to skate naked in the city of Ashland's Fourth of July parade. She didn't get it.
Police here told her to tone it down after construction workers complained.
Moss donned a string bikini bottom for the nonce and skated on.
Police say most callers are concerned about her safety.

 

[Warhawk]

Cops: Drunk Drives Through Fence Onto Airport Runway

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,426271,00.html

TAMPA, Fla. — An intoxicated woman drove through a fence and onto a small airport runway in Tampa, causing more than $12,000 in damages, authorities said.
Kathy Lee Wilcox, 51, drove her car through a 6-foot fence at the entrance to Vandenberg Airport Monday, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said.
Authorities said he drove up to the airport's closed gate, stopped her car and then drove through the fence, which is marked with a "No Trespassing" sign.
Wilcox then drove onto the runway, and airport officials boxed her vehicle in and called the sheriff's office. No airplanes were damaged.
Wilcox was charged with driving under the influence involving property damage. It was not immediately clear if she had an attorney.

 

[AleksandarN]

Man charged with battery for farting

Seriously WTF. LOL. Cops given too much power. What is next getting charged for burping?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.
Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.
As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.
He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.
'I couldn't hold it no more'
Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.
He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.
Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.
"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

 

[arwen undomiel]

How Monthy Python-esque - "I fart in your general direction"

 

[Elise10]

Oregon hospital tells grandpa he's pregnant

not a crime per se but still...

Oregon hospital tells grandpa he’s pregnant

Computer error caused staff to give 71-year-old man the happy news

updated 1 hour ago
PORTLAND, Ore. - A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital’s paperwork: “Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant.”

Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills.


Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital’s computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26907144/wid/11915773?GT1=31036

 

[Warhawk]

Man Allegedly Steals Uniform, Poses as Dodgers Player

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429163,00.html

LOS ANGELES — A man faces criminal charges for allegedly stealing a uniform from Dodger Stadium and posing as one of the team's players.
Ronald Higgins pleaded not guilty to several charges Friday, including burglary and trespassing.
The 47-year-old Higgins was arrested Wednesday morning after a security guard found him walking on the field in a Dodgers uniform and holding a glove with two balls. Higgins allegedly identified himself as a Dodgers player, but the guard recognized him from an earlier incident and called police.
Prosecutors say Higgins' clothes were later found in the bat boys' locker room. It was not immediately clear where he got the uniform.
If convicted, Higgins could spend nearly four years in state prison.
Attempts to locate an attorney for Higgins were not successful Friday night.

 

[Warhawk]

Cops: Teen Wanted Mom Dead to Pay for Boob Job

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429166,00.html

FOUNTAIN, Colo. — A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.
Nikita Lee Weis, 18, was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder, said Fountain Deputy Police Chief Mike Barnett.
His girlfriend, Sophia Nicole Alsept, and two men police said he hired, Juan Antonio Velez Gonzalez, 18, and Brandon Michael Soroka, 19, were arrested on the same charge.

more.....

 

[Spike]

It was not immediately clear where he got the uniform.

My guess? The player without a uniform. Pretty easy, if you ask me.

 

[Warhawk]

Sniper kills prisoner inside French jail

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article4844003.ece

Like a scene from a crime thriller film, a prisoner who faced interrogation over a murder was shot dead inside his French jail by a sniper positioned on a nearby hill.
The suspected gunman, his rifle still warm from the shooting, was arrested shortly afterwards as he tried to flee on a motorbike.
Another inmate, a friend of the dead man, was injured in the attack during which five shots were fired into the exercise yard of the jail at Varces-Grenoble, in the southeast of France.

more....

 

[kennadog]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,429166,00.html

FOUNTAIN, Colo. — A Colorado teenager hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend, police said.

What an idiot! Those breasts can walk away leaving him with nothing. She wants breast implants? Let her kill her own mother.

In all seriousness.....Wow, just....wow. I can't even imagine what the mind of these kids might be like. Empty, dark and scary.

 

[Warhawk]

Pastor Ran 'Heaven Spa' Prostitution House

http://www.azstarnet.com/metro/259732.php

State attorneys say John LaVoie should be forever barred from the massage business because he ran a house of prostitution camouflaged as a church.
But in his latest court argument, the Tucson man says he hired women at Angel's Heaven Relaxation Spa — near University Medical Center — not to sell sex but to comfort the afflicted through the religious act of "laying on of hands."
A jury found against LaVoie July 30 on all 22 counts he faced of racketeering, money-laundering and other offenses related to prostitution in a civil forfeiture — a proceeding that lets the government confiscate assets if it can show they were obtained through a criminal enterprise.
No criminal charges have been filed.

more....

 

[Warhawk]

Florida Man Claims He Was Robbed by Gang of Braless Thieves

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,430783,00.html

It may sound like something out of a Benny Hill comedy sketch, but a Florida man claimed he was robbed Saturday by five buxom women clad in overalls — with no shirts or bras underneath.
Olmer Morales, 18, told deputies in Martin County that he was stopped and surrounded by the gang of women as he was riding his bicycle to work.
The alleged bandits took $100 that he had in his back pocket before fleeing, TCPalm.com reported Tuesday.
While Morales claimed he had seen at least one of the women in the area before, no arrests have yet been made.

 

[kennadog]

Bet it wasn't hard to get him to stop his bicycle.

 

[VF21]

Bet it wasn't hard to get him to stop his bicycle.

Must make at least superficial attempt to avoid the obvious reply...

 

[kennadog]

Must make at least superficial attempt to avoid the obvious reply...

Believe me, as soon as I hit "submit" I realized the obvious rejoinder to my remark. I let it stand anyway. Probably what made pedaling "difficult" to continue.

 

[Warhawk]

Flying shoe at Pompano Beach strip club spurs lawsuit

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-flbhighheel1016sboct16,0,927005.story

An exotic dancer. A high heel. And now a suit.

A Margate man is suing a Pompano Beach strip club after he says a performer's shoe flew off during a pole dance, shattering the mirrored ceiling and causing glass, as well as the shoe, to hit him.

The Booby Trap breached "its duty when its employee failed to perform her routine in (a) reasonably safe manner," according to the Broward Circuit Court suit filed by Charles Privette. He is seeking at least $15,000 in damages.

Privette's attorney, Omar Demetriou, said his client suffered a small laceration to his eyebrow, headaches and nose bleeds. Said Booby Trap general manager George Gettinger, "A quote from the paramedics was, 'I can't believe you even called us for this!'"

 

[Elise10]

'Aping' around lands man in jail

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081017/ap_on_fe_st/odd_gorilla_suit_arrest;_ylt=AihhakSEZ0r0NFAV2kdSniLtiBIF

'Aping' around lands man in jail


2 hrs 29 mins ago

ALTOONA, Pa. – A man who went to buy cigarettes in a gorilla suit to win a bet with his girlfriend is now being accused of receiving stolen property.

Altoona police said they noticed a 20-year-old man walking down the city's Sixth Avenue just after midnight on Wednesday dressed as an ape.

Police said that when they stopped the man, they discovered he was wanted for receiving stolen property.

Police said the man told them he had gone to the convenience store in disguise because his girlfriend had bet him he wouldn't do it.

The man was charged with receiving stolen property and was released on bond.
___
Information from: Altoona Mirror, http://www.altoonamirror.com

 

[Warhawk]

Man Urinated on Dog When Owner Denied Sex

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,444019,00.html

MANITOWOC, Wis. — A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence.
According to police reports, the man was drunk when he argued with the woman. After she resisted his advances the man went to the basement where he urinated on her dog and the floor.
Police said the argument continued, and when the woman's sister stood up in defense the man pushed her into a wall. He then allegedly stormed from the home and punched out a window.

 

[Elise10]

Texan jailed after 2 ate from 1 plate

Texan jailed after 2 ate from 1 plate
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/me...08/10/29/texan_stiffs_iron_skillet.html?imw=Y
By TIM EBERLY
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The old two-for-one buffet trick backfired.

Dan Linscomb, 40, of Texas City, Texas, ate the buffet at the Iron Skillet restaurant in northwest Atlanta on Oct. 21. He admitted, an Atlanta police report said, that his girlfriend “ate a couple bites from his plate.”

When he was charged for two $7 buffet meals, Linscomb refused to pay for one of them. He said that “there were no signs in the restaurant that said someone could not have some food off your plate,” the report said.

The restaurant staff called police, who came to the restaurant on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway and arrested Linscomb on a charge of theft of services. He was taken to Fulton County Jail.

Linscomb got out of jail two days later after pleading guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct, Fulton County sheriff’s Sgt. Nikita Hightower said.

Linscomb could not be reached for comment Wednesday afternoon. The Iron Skillet manager who was working when Linscomb was arrested, Jose Quintero, declined to comment.

 

[kennadog]

MANITOWOC, Wis. — A 36-year-old man took revenge on his roommate after she refused to have sex with him by allegedly urinating on her dog, police said. Police said the man was arrested early Thursday morning on tentative charges of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct related to domestic violence.

I just can't understand why she isn't all over this sexy guy. What more could a woman possibly want from a guy?

 

[Warhawk]

Man with keg in vehicle admits to drinking, driving

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/co...08/12/08/ddn120708policeblotterweb.html?imw=Y

CLAYTON — Nov. 30: An officer responded to the intersection of Southway Road and Crestway Drive on a welfare check call and observed a running vehicle in the roadway. The registration was expired and the odor of alcohol was detected on the subject. The subject admitted to drinking alcohol and a beer keg with a tap in it was in the passenger seat. The spigot was resting on the center console and was dripping. The subject submitted to field sobriety tests and was arrested for operating a vehicle intoxicated. He was also cited for expired registration and open container.

 

[Warhawk]

Unusual Suspect: Texas Boy, 4, Breaks Into Discount Store to Play With Toys

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,467584,00.html

BEAUMONT, Texas — Texas police responding to a store's burglar alarm found a less-than-hardened criminal inside: He was 4, and playing with the toys.
Detective Randy Stevens says the child apparently unlocked a door at his nearby home, got out, then crossed a street to reach the discount store.
Store surveillance video shows the unidentified boy trying one of the front doors to a Family Dollar store about 3 a.m. Monday, only to find it locked.
But the second door was unlocked and the child went inside.
That triggered the silent alarm.
"When the officers got there, he was showing them his toys," said Officer Crystal Holmes.
Child Protective Services says the boy will be allowed to stay with extended relatives while they review the incident.

 

[Elise10]

Surprised this story missed us...

Udder Chaos: Middletown Woman Arrested In Cow Suit

http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story/Udder-Chaos-Middletown-Woman-Arrested-In-Cow-Suit/F6xf0RlceUaFckT3b8t_gQ.cspx
Reported by: Lance Barry
Email: lance.barry@wcpo.com
Contributor: Deb Silverman
Last Update: 10/01 12:23 am

Police in Middletown made a rather bizarre arrest Monday night, taking into custody a woman dressed in a cow suit who was seen acting erratically.

Michelle Allen of Middletown was arrested on one count of disorderly conduct for allegedly getting in the way of traffic on Wilbraham Road and chasing children in her cow suit.

She also urinated on a neighbor's front porch, police say.

According to police, Allen talked back and threatened to cause problems in the jail if she was arrested.

Allen appeared in court Tuesday morning dressed in the suit.

It is not clear why she was wearing the costume.

 

[Warhawk]

Burglar scared off by man dressed as Thor after New Year party

Continuing the costume thing.....

A construction firm manager returning from New Year's Eve fancy dress party scared off a burglar by charging at him dressed as the Norse god Thor.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/405...man-dressed-as-Thor-after-New-Year-party.html

Six-foot tall Torvald Alexander, 38, was wearing a red cape and the thunder god's silver-winged helmet when he spotted the raider in his front room rifling through a desk.
Mr Alexander, who runs building firm Alexander & Summers in Edinburgh, Scotland, said the burglar threw himself out of a first floor window of his £350,000 home in the Inverleith area of the city after being caught red handed.
Mr Alexander said: "As soon as he saw me his eyes went wide with terror.
"He looked like he had had a few drinks and decided to do a late night break in, but he hadn't counted on the God of Thunder living here."
He added: "I had just got back from a fancy dress New Year's party and because I have a Norwegian name I decided to go as Thor.
"It took ages making the cape, helmet and breast plate, and I must admit it was a bit chilly walking home, but when I saw that guy I just went mad and charged at him, my cape flying behind me.
"I think if I had had Thor's hammer with me I might have scared him to death."
Norse legend Thor has a magical hammer, called Mjolnir, which returns to him after knocking out his enemies foe magically returns to the superhero. It can also throw lightning bolts at enemies.
Mr Alexander said that the burglar had not managed to steal anything, but had left his shoes at the scene.
He said: "He had obviously taken off his shoes to creep about in silence, but when he saw me he just jumped out of the window in his socks.
"It will make him think again before breaking into other people's homes. Hopefully it's taught him a lesson."
Mr Alexander said he was contacting police and was going to hand over the burglar's shoes in the hope police can trace him.
An £80m blockbuster based on the Norse god is due to be released in 2010 after Kenneth Branagh agreed to direct it.
James Bond star Daniel Craig was rumoured to be taking the lead role, but no actors have so far been confirmed.

 

[Warhawk]

Shoe Bomb Joke on Plane Lands Missouri Groom-to-Be in Jail

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,477446,00.html

ST. LOUIS — A St. Louis man landed in jail for joking about shoe bombs after he boarded a plane.
Michael Shafermeyer, 30, spent more than three days behind bars after making what he says was a joke at Lambert Airport.
When a flight attendant asked him to close his laptop after boarding on Saturday, Shafermeyer told KMOV-TV in St. Louis that he jokingly asked her, "Are you the one who checks for shoe bombs?"
He was flying to Maryland to get married and had had a few drinks, the station reported.
Within minutes, federal agents removed him from the plane. He was booked at the St. Louis County jail and placed in solitary confinement, where he spent two-and-a-half days before being placed with other inmates on his final day.
The prisoners welcomed him with a standing ovation, he said.
Shafermeyer was released on Tuesday. He has been charged with making a false bomb report, he told KMOV-TV.
Shafermeyer still plans to get married in Maryland, he said — but this time, he'll take the train.

 

[Prophetess]

he was drunk, he made a stupid joke and they threw him in jail? There must have been a bit more..

 

[Warhawk]

Man Accidentally Shoots Toilet After Gun in His Pants Goes Off

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479927,00.html

CENTERVILLE, Utah — The man escaped with a few cuts to his arm, but the toilet made out much worse.
Police say a man's gun fell out of its holster while he pulled up his pants after using the bathroom at a Carl's Jr. restaurant Tuesday. The gun fired when it hit the floor and shattered the commode.
A few shards of porcelain cut the man's arm, and a woman in an adjacent restroom who was frightened by the noise reported she was having chest pain. Both people were checked at the scene and released.
Police say they confiscated the 26-year-old man's firearm while they review the incident. The man had a concealed weapons permit. No charges are being filed.

 

[Warhawk]

North Carolina Campus Police Arrest Student During Snowball Fight

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481888,00.html

GREENVILLE, N.C. — Campus police at East Carolina University said they made one arrest and used pepper spray on some students as officers tried to control a huge snowball fight on campus.
Police were called to a dormitory three times as more than 200 students pelted each other with snowballs as a rare snowstorm dropped several inches of snow in eastern North Carolina on Tuesday, The Daily Reflector of Greenville reported Thursday.
Some witnesses said they were hit hard by indiscriminately hurled snowballs.
"It all started in good nature, but then people were throwing them as hard as they could at each other. They were everywhere," said junior Brandon Davis, noting he got hit in the head.
He said a girl was knocked to the ground after being hit in the face with a snowball thrown from 10 feet away, while another student cried after getting hit in the eye.
Police said an officer used pepper spray on a group of students that rushed officers trying to make an arrest. Authorities estimate between 200 and 250 people were involved, but no serious injuries were reported.
Matt Lunchick, a junior, said he saw an officer tackle and arrest a student after the officer was hit with a snowball in the back. He also said officers told some students not to dump tubs of snow into cars.
Steven Rashad Bass, 18, was arrested and charged with assault on a government official, and resisting, delaying and obstructing a law enforcement officer. He was later released from the Pitt County Detention Center, jail officials said Thursday.
Bass was scheduled to appear in court March 3. His telephone number couldn't be found, and he didn't immediately return an e-mail Thursday.

 

[Warhawk]

Wal-Mart Worker Accused of Rolling Back Prices

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,482552,00.html

NATCHEZ, Miss. — A Wal-Mart employee has been charged with embezzlement after allegedly ringing up a sale of $5.25 for more than $500 worth of merchandise.
Natchez Police Chief Mike Mullins said a 20-year-old cashier was arrested Thursday along with a 22-year-old customer at the Wal-Mart in Natchez.
Mullins said the cashier charged the customer $5.25 for seven pairs of jeans, a baby crib, a pair of scrubs, a picture frame, sweat suit, laundry detergent, a bra, four pairs of pants, diapers, pizza, coffee, four 12-packs of drinks, canned goods, air freshener, nachos, noodles, frozen goods, chips and a family pack of beef.
The actual total for the merchandise was $547.50.
Mullins said the two women were being held Friday without bond pending an initial court appearance.

 

[Warhawk]

Couple Seeking Leniency for Public Drunkenness Fines Appear Drunk Before Judge

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,482547,00.html

NEW HOLLAND, Pa. — A southeastern Pennsylvania man and woman seeking leniency on public drunkenness fines he hasn't paid have now been cited for public drunkenness in the judge's office.
The pair visited District Judge Rodney Hartman's office in New Holland on Wednesday. They were responding to a warrant notice over fines the man owes for an October public drunkenness conviction. He said he didn't have money to pay.
Someone noticed that the two appeared drunk at the judge's office. Police gave Breathalyzer tests and say the two had blood-alcohol levels far above the legal limits for driving.
The boyfriend and girlfriend both pleaded guilty to new charges of public drunkenness. They were released in custody of a relative.