I am not too familiar with the provisions in their contracts regarding this, I know Murphy on the Mets went through this at the beginning of the season and U.S Department of Labor had a blog regarding it...can't remember the specifics. Either way, it may be a societal norm but it is also a right afforded to folks by law
Rudy Gay is a new father...again. :) (Updated title)
- Thread starter 9x1x6
- Start date
Sure, if we're taking it down to basic needs then a mother giving birth doesn't need the father there. But at that level of what constitutes a necessity a job itself is not a necessity. Humans had been living off the land without jobs and salaries for nearly 200,000 years before we developed the concept of a job. And another couple thousand years before basketball was invented. There are way too many people in this world who ARE struggling to live in the face of war, disease, starvation etc. But for most of us arguably 96% or more of our lives are luxuries and choice.
A funeral is a more apt comparison than cancer and chemotherapy. The former is a one time event (like any individual childbirth) rather than an ongoing struggle.
I think it's strange that you think missing a game for a funeral is acceptable but missing one for the birth of your child isn't. I don't begrudge a player missing a game or two for either. I was by my wife's side not just because I wanted to be their to see our children being born and not just to give her support but because I knew that there was the very real possibility that I'd have to make any number of medical decisions on her behalf should the need arise. Thankfully for us it never did, but my wife needed me in that hospital room as much or more than anyone has ever needed my presence at a funeral.
And childbirth is on a completely different level than anniversary dinners, soccer games, first steps, dance recitals or anything else along those lines. NBA players are often asked to play road games on Christmas day too. That's part of the job. And part of any job that requires travel really. I've missed life events traveling for work and that's tough, but it's not the same as missing your child entering the world.
A funeral is a more apt comparison than cancer and chemotherapy. The former is a one time event (like any individual childbirth) rather than an ongoing struggle.
I think it's strange that you think missing a game for a funeral is acceptable but missing one for the birth of your child isn't. I don't begrudge a player missing a game or two for either. I was by my wife's side not just because I wanted to be their to see our children being born and not just to give her support but because I knew that there was the very real possibility that I'd have to make any number of medical decisions on her behalf should the need arise. Thankfully for us it never did, but my wife needed me in that hospital room as much or more than anyone has ever needed my presence at a funeral.
And childbirth is on a completely different level than anniversary dinners, soccer games, first steps, dance recitals or anything else along those lines. NBA players are often asked to play road games on Christmas day too. That's part of the job. And part of any job that requires travel really. I've missed life events traveling for work and that's tough, but it's not the same as missing your child entering the world.
Last edited:
As for being by your wife's side in labor, I say do it. My sister went through labor last year and it lasted 30+ hours with a few complications. My sister in law went through labor about two years ago and there were serious complications, by brother almost lost both his wife and 2nd child.
And a husband should be by his wife's side given that while it can go smoothly, it can also be life threatening, even here with American healthcare. I also doubt most can perform their duties anywhere near their full capacity if their wife is off in labor elsewhere.
But once delivered without complications, get your ass on the court.
And a husband should be by his wife's side given that while it can go smoothly, it can also be life threatening, even here with American healthcare. I also doubt most can perform their duties anywhere near their full capacity if their wife is off in labor elsewhere.
But once delivered without complications, get your ass on the court.
Rudy's employer would have allowed him to miss the game without penalty or punishment. Given the choice, I'd see the birth of my child, which is a once in a lifetime event, over missing 1 game. A game that you play 82 times a year multiplied by the number of years in a career. Not to mention the games he's played over his lifetime.
Has anybody even thought of the psychological and emotional impact on Gay if he misses this once in a lifetime event?
Even if the baby won't remember, his wife certainly will. Also that emotional bond that is formed at that moment in time when wife needs you most is more than any bball game.
Saying baby won't remember is naive since it does not look at the other side of the coin. i.e. Mother (wife) , and Gay himself.
So, yes, there is no comparison. Gay should choose to be with mother (wife) and baby, each and everytime this situation pops up.
Team should not even make him choose. They should tell him to go.
Even if the baby won't remember, his wife certainly will. Also that emotional bond that is formed at that moment in time when wife needs you most is more than any bball game.
Saying baby won't remember is naive since it does not look at the other side of the coin. i.e. Mother (wife) , and Gay himself.
So, yes, there is no comparison. Gay should choose to be with mother (wife) and baby, each and everytime this situation pops up.
Team should not even make him choose. They should tell him to go.
First I want to congratulate Bricky on being consistent. Well done there! Secondly, if you remove the emotion from the event, and just look at it logically, then Bricky is right. However, I think most would agree, Bricky excepted, that the birth of a child is an emotional experience, and that emotion will naturally out weight any logic of where your presence is needed. So on one hand, I wish that Gay is able to attend and play in the game on wednesday, but at the same time, I understand why he may not make it, and don't blame him one bit.
This whole incident reminds me of when Joe Montana's wife was giving birth during the season, and Glenn Dickey, then of the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote an article criticizing Montana for not planning better. It almost got Dickey, a mainstay at the paper fired because of the outcry by Montana fans. Don't worry Bricky, I'm not calling for your ouster from the forum. I need someone to keep me honest. Wow, that's almost an oxymoron.
This whole incident reminds me of when Joe Montana's wife was giving birth during the season, and Glenn Dickey, then of the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote an article criticizing Montana for not planning better. It almost got Dickey, a mainstay at the paper fired because of the outcry by Montana fans. Don't worry Bricky, I'm not calling for your ouster from the forum. I need someone to keep me honest. Wow, that's almost an oxymoron.
First I want to congratulate Bricky on being consistent. Well done there! Secondly, if you remove the emotion from the event, and just look at it logically, then Bricky is right. However, I think most would agree, Bricky excepted, that the birth of a child is an emotional experience, and that emotion will naturally out weight any logic of where your presence is needed. So on one hand, I wish that Gay is able to attend and play in the game on wednesday, but at the same time, I understand why he may not make it, and don't blame him one bit.
This whole incident reminds me of when Joe Montana's wife was giving birth during the season, and Glenn Dickey, then of the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote an article criticizing Montana for not planning better. It almost got Dickey, a mainstay at the paper fired because of the outcry by Montana fans. Don't worry Bricky, I'm not calling for your ouster from the forum. I need someone to keep me honest. Wow, that's almost an oxymoron.
This whole incident reminds me of when Joe Montana's wife was giving birth during the season, and Glenn Dickey, then of the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote an article criticizing Montana for not planning better. It almost got Dickey, a mainstay at the paper fired because of the outcry by Montana fans. Don't worry Bricky, I'm not calling for your ouster from the forum. I need someone to keep me honest. Wow, that's almost an oxymoron.
Look, I have a son and a daughter, so I know the process. But lets be honest, your wife needs you there for emotional support, not physical support. The baby will be born successfully whether your there or not There are times in life where your presence is needed elsewhere, and you have to decide which is more important to you. In the case of the birth of your child, emotion will usually win out over the logic, that your physical presence will in no way aid in the birth of the baby. Of course it may save you from your wife killing you later because you decided otherwise.
Third I thought.
Edit: Seems he was playing a game for us while his wife was having his first.
http://cowbellkingdom.com/rudy-gay-plays-while-expecting-his-first-child/
Edit: Seems he was playing a game for us while his wife was having his first.
http://cowbellkingdom.com/rudy-gay-plays-while-expecting-his-first-child/
My daughter was born at 2 am after 9 hours of labor. I took finals at 8 am that morning. It is possible to do your job and help your wife, I just dont recommend it.
My father in law was out of town on business when my wife was born. He arrived home and couldn't figure out where his family had gone. Eventually, he worked out what had happened and picked up his wife and children. When they arrived home, he asked his wife what was for dinner that night. Despite the rough start, my wife seems to have turned out okay.
My father in law was out of town on business when my wife was born. He arrived home and couldn't figure out where his family had gone. Eventually, he worked out what had happened and picked up his wife and children. When they arrived home, he asked his wife what was for dinner that night. Despite the rough start, my wife seems to have turned out okay.
whoa. just got back to post at kf.com after a long offseason, and i've wandered into a strangely pedantic discussion of the merits of a father being present at his child's birth. i might as well join in, just for the giggles. see, here's the thing: the "miracle of life" is tremendously romanticized in american culture. if rudy had wanted to miss a game to be present for the birth of his child, then all power to him. but let's not pretend that it's some sort of "miracle" when a child is born, or that a father witnessing such an event represents anything other than a conscious choice...
baby-making requires very little skill. just about anybody can do it. in 1970, there were approximately 4 billion people on this planet. today, the human population stands somewhere upwards of 7 billion, with many projections claiming we'll reach the 10 billion mark around the time i reach the age of 50. it's less a "miracle" that human life flourishes so persistently and more like a hostile takeover of planet earth...
advances in modern medicine that keep us alive long past what would ordinarily be a much quicker average expiration date could be considered rather miraculous, i suppose, as could the advances that allow children to be born who otherwise wouldn't survive. however, i find that the act of giving birth to a child is far too often rendered in lofty and romantic language, when it's actually a very messy, unpleasant affair, no matter how we want to characterize it in the context of our morality or our values...
anyway... it's good to be back!
baby-making requires very little skill. just about anybody can do it. in 1970, there were approximately 4 billion people on this planet. today, the human population stands somewhere upwards of 7 billion, with many projections claiming we'll reach the 10 billion mark around the time i reach the age of 50. it's less a "miracle" that human life flourishes so persistently and more like a hostile takeover of planet earth...
advances in modern medicine that keep us alive long past what would ordinarily be a much quicker average expiration date could be considered rather miraculous, i suppose, as could the advances that allow children to be born who otherwise wouldn't survive. however, i find that the act of giving birth to a child is far too often rendered in lofty and romantic language, when it's actually a very messy, unpleasant affair, no matter how we want to characterize it in the context of our morality or our values...
anyway... it's good to be back!
