Head Coach wanted, PPT presenters automatically disqualified

SacKings384 said:
Oh how I would love to see Bill Walton be the coach for a day...

Kings, are down 1 with 10 seconds left in the fourth

Bill: "Alright boys, the fate of Western civilization lies in your hands at this very moment. It's just you guys, and the ball. Nobody else is out there"

Kevin:"Yeah...What about the defenders?"

Bill:"Don't worry about them. I sacrificed a lamb this morning to the basketball gods, the balance of power has shifted in our favor."

Bill:"Now, the jump ball. The epitomy of nature. The balance of power of all the earth, the fate of Western civilization as we know it, lies in that ball, at that moment as it reaches it's apex in the atmosphere, and falls down to the Kings of the universe."

Mike: "We don't even have a jump ball, we HAVE the ball."

Bill: "Such a shame... Well here's the play then. Ron, you're going to float on the waterfall towards the bucket of golden wonders. Mike, you are going to swallow the streams of the river, as you fight the monstorous beasts of Ilrak. Kevin, you are going to call to the powers of the basketball gods, and then head towards the corner line of eternity. Mike, you're going to get the orb of life from Brad. The fate of all mankind lies in your hands. History as we know it, will be re-written at this very moment. Cherish it. For all mankind may be doomed if we fail."

Brad: "Holy crap what was that?"

Mike:"I have no ideas what's going on right now."

Kevin: "So wait... Where's the line of eternity?"

Ron:"Don't worry guys, I understood every word he said."
Click to expand...

ROTFL again...

That's priceless.
 
SacKings384 said:
Oh how I would love to see Bill Walton be the coach for a day...

Kings, are down 1 with 10 seconds left in the fourth

Bill: "Alright boys, the fate of Western civilization lies in your hands at this very moment. It's just you guys, and the ball. Nobody else is out there"

Kevin:"Yeah...What about the defenders?"

Bill:"Don't worry about them. I sacrificed a lamb this morning to the basketball gods, the balance of power has shifted in our favor."

Bill:"Now, the jump ball. The epitomy of nature. The balance of power of all the earth, the fate of Western civilization as we know it, lies in that ball, at that moment as it reaches it's apex in the atmosphere, and falls down to the Kings of the universe."

Mike: "We don't even have a jump ball, we HAVE the ball."

Bill: "Such a shame... Well here's the play then. Ron, you're going to float on the waterfall towards the bucket of golden wonders. Mike, you are going to swallow the streams of the river, as you fight the monstorous beasts of Ilrak. Kevin, you are going to call to the powers of the basketball gods, and then head towards the corner line of eternity. Mike, you're going to get the orb of life from Brad. The fate of all mankind lies in your hands. History as we know it, will be re-written at this very moment. Cherish it. For all mankind may be doomed if we fail."

Brad: "Holy crap what was that?"

Mike:"I have no ideas what's going on right now."

Kevin: "So wait... Where's the line of eternity?"

Ron:"Don't worry guys, I understood every word he said."
Click to expand...
That is hilarious!

And at every timeout the fans would get Grateful Dead music. The practice facility would have Wooden posters and quotes on every available space. Just groovy, man. :p
 
SacKings384 said:
Oh how I would love to see Bill Walton be the coach for a day...

Kings, are down 1 with 10 seconds left in the fourth

Bill: "Alright boys, the fate of Western civilization lies in your hands at this very moment. It's just you guys, and the ball. Nobody else is out there"

Kevin:"Yeah...What about the defenders?"

Bill:"Don't worry about them. I sacrificed a lamb this morning to the basketball gods, the balance of power has shifted in our favor."

Bill:"Now, the jump ball. The epitomy of nature. The balance of power of all the earth, the fate of Western civilization as we know it, lies in that ball, at that moment as it reaches it's apex in the atmosphere, and falls down to the Kings of the universe."

Mike: "We don't even have a jump ball, we HAVE the ball."

Bill: "Such a shame... Well here's the play then. Ron, you're going to float on the waterfall towards the bucket of golden wonders. Mike, you are going to swallow the streams of the river, as you fight the monstorous beasts of Ilrak. Kevin, you are going to call to the powers of the basketball gods, and then head towards the corner line of eternity. Mike, you're going to get the orb of life from Brad. The fate of all mankind lies in your hands. History as we know it, will be re-written at this very moment. Cherish it. For all mankind may be doomed if we fail."

Brad: "Holy crap what was that?"

Mike:"I have no ideas what's going on right now."

Kevin: "So wait... Where's the line of eternity?"

Ron:"Don't worry guys, I understood every word he said."
Click to expand...


Do we have a hall of fame for clever posts thread somewhere?
 
Bill Walton as Kings coach. God help us. That may be the worst nightmare that I could picture. Shoot, he could say a lot of crazy things about the team and still kiss up to the Lakers.

Next Coach: Larry Brown would be my first choice even if it is for two years.
 
I was on the SVG bandwagon I guess but now I've changed - a bit. Listening to Sports 1140 as I was driving around this afternoon with my $3.20 gallon gas I heard Grant Napear say that the Kings will be considering Reggie Theus. He then went on to say that he's pretty sure the brass wants a former NBA player as head coach because of the respect factor that that gets from todays players. I'm definitely intrigued with Theus who is now 50 years old and just took a program at New Mexico State that was absolutely nowhere before he arrived and in two years got them into NCAA field of 65 - losing to Texas and Durrant in the opening round. Okay, I'll say it - if it's gotta be an ex-NBA jock I favor Reggie Theus. Please don't tell me he never passed the ball or played defense because I saw him break his nose one night at Arco flying around and put lots of effort out when the situation seemed hopeless. His Aggies at NMS are very defensive minded and he knows how to teach it. Rick Patino of Louisville said he was one of the best assistant coaches he ever had beside him or ever saw at any level.
 
SacKings384 said:
Oh how I would love to see Bill Walton be the coach for a day...

Kings, are down 1 with 10 seconds left in the fourth

Bill: "Alright boys, the fate of Western civilization lies in your hands at this very moment. It's just you guys, and the ball. Nobody else is out there"

Kevin:"Yeah...What about the defenders?"

Bill:"Don't worry about them. I sacrificed a lamb this morning to the basketball gods, the balance of power has shifted in our favor."

Bill:"Now, the jump ball. The epitomy of nature. The balance of power of all the earth, the fate of Western civilization as we know it, lies in that ball, at that moment as it reaches it's apex in the atmosphere, and falls down to the Kings of the universe."

Mike: "We don't even have a jump ball, we HAVE the ball."

Bill: "Such a shame... Well here's the play then. Ron, you're going to float on the waterfall towards the bucket of golden wonders. Mike, you are going to swallow the streams of the river, as you fight the monstorous beasts of Ilrak. Kevin, you are going to call to the powers of the basketball gods, and then head towards the corner line of eternity. Mike, you're going to get the orb of life from Brad. The fate of all mankind lies in your hands. History as we know it, will be re-written at this very moment. Cherish it. For all mankind may be doomed if we fail."

Brad: "Holy crap what was that?"

Mike:"I have no ideas what's going on right now."

Kevin: "So wait... Where's the line of eternity?"

Ron:"Don't worry guys, I understood every word he said."
Click to expand...
ROFL!

By far the best post in this thread :D
 
PurpleHaze said:
I was on the SVG bandwagon I guess but now I've changed - a bit. Listening to Sports 1140 as I was driving around this afternoon with my $3.20 gallon gas I heard Grant Napear say that the Kings will be considering Reggie Theus. He then went on to say that he's pretty sure the brass wants a former NBA player as head coach because of the respect factor that that gets from todays players. I'm definitely intrigued with Theus who is now 50 years old and just took a program at New Mexico State that was absolutely nowhere before he arrived and in two years got them into NCAA field of 65 - losing to Texas and Durrant in the opening round. Okay, I'll say it - if it's gotta be an ex-NBA jock I favor Reggie Theus. Please don't tell me he never passed the ball or played defense because I saw him break his nose one night at Arco flying around and put lots of effort out when the situation seemed hopeless. His Aggies at NMS are very defensive minded and he knows how to teach it. Rick Patino of Louisville said he was one of the best assistant coaches he ever had beside him or ever saw at any level.
Click to expand...

Theus is a soft, inexperienced college coach. That success has nothing to do with the NBA. Would again be a great way to continue the "back to crap" trend we are pursuing.

SVG never played in the NBA, and if he was jsut an assistant coach somewhere who had never been a head coach that factors in. As is, he is a guy who coached a team to the Conference Finals and apprenticed under one of if not the greatest coach of all time. Not only that, he looks like a guy who has had sex with more women than Wilt Chamberlain. Respect should nto be an issue. ;)
 
Bricklayer said:
SVG never played in the NBA, and if he was jsut an assistant coach somewhere who had never been a head coach that factors in. As is, he is a guy who coached a team to the Conference Finals and apprenticed under one of if not the greatest coach of all time. Not only that, he looks like a guy who has had sex with more women than Wilt Chamberlain. Respect should nto be an issue. ;)
Click to expand...

I thought Wilt claimed over something like 12,000 scores (off the court) but that Ron Jeremy claims only around 7,000. Personally, I stopped counting not long after my college days and later in the USAF (especially stationed in S.E. Asia) way back in the swinging 70's.

I do agree that Theus would be more of a risk (Ivaroni and Ellie too) than someone like SVG.
 
Bricklayer said:
SVG never played in the NBA, and if he was jsut an assistant coach somewhere who had never been a head coach that factors in. As is, he is a guy who coached a team to the Conference Finals and apprenticed under one of if not the greatest coach of all time. Not only that, he looks like a guy who has had sex with more women than Wilt Chamberlain. Respect should nto be an issue. ;)
Click to expand...

Not only that, if SVG truly resembles Ron Jeremy he will definitely have the players' respect in the locker room....if ya know what I mean.
 
Last edited:
SacKings384 said:
Oh how I would love to see Bill Walton be the coach for a day...

Kings, are down 1 with 10 seconds left in the fourth

Bill: "Alright boys, the fate of Western civilization lies in your hands at this very moment. It's just you guys, and the ball. Nobody else is out there"

Kevin:"Yeah...What about the defenders?"

Bill:"Don't worry about them. I sacrificed a lamb this morning to the basketball gods, the balance of power has shifted in our favor."

Bill:"Now, the jump ball. The epitomy of nature. The balance of power of all the earth, the fate of Western civilization as we know it, lies in that ball, at that moment as it reaches it's apex in the atmosphere, and falls down to the Kings of the universe."

Mike: "We don't even have a jump ball, we HAVE the ball."

Bill: "Such a shame... Well here's the play then. Ron, you're going to float on the waterfall towards the bucket of golden wonders. Mike, you are going to swallow the streams of the river, as you fight the monstorous beasts of Ilrak. Kevin, you are going to call to the powers of the basketball gods, and then head towards the corner line of eternity. Mike, you're going to get the orb of life from Brad. The fate of all mankind lies in your hands. History as we know it, will be re-written at this very moment. Cherish it. For all mankind may be doomed if we fail."

Brad: "Holy crap what was that?"

Mike:"I have no ideas what's going on right now."

Kevin: "So wait... Where's the line of eternity?"

Ron:"Don't worry guys, I understood every word he said."
Click to expand...



Walton is a Vegan so I doubt he'd be sacrificing a lamb.;)














I say we get Whiz with E.t as his lead assistant!!!!:p
 
Entity said:
Barkely. That way if we suck we don't have to see our coach going on about things that happen he would just say hey we suck maybe our GM should make some trades or something becuase we just plain suck.
Click to expand...

I like it.;) How long has he been saying, "Blow It Up!" A lot longer than our brain trust, that's for sure.
 
Betcha Scott Brooks is very near top of list. His short stint got quite a positive reaction from players and fans alike.
 
CruzDude said:
Betcha Scott Brooks is very near top of list. His short stint got quite a positive reaction from players and fans alike.
Click to expand...

Not sure if he would be on the short list, but who knows. I'd have to wonder how folks would warm to the fact of having a coach that was a part of the Muss 'era'...probably tepid, at best. Probably better to avoid Scott this time around and bring someone fresh and new in with no ties to Muss.
 
I'm assuming Brooks is not much of a consideration. Might be a head coach one day, but from both the Maloofs' and fans' persepctives just has too much Muss stink on him, and represents the same sort of young inexperienced thing that they may be leery of in the short term. Not sure being a #1 assistant for all of one year, and that one year being an unmitigated failure for the regime, is enough of a recommendation to get you a head gig in the NBA.
 
Sketcher said:
Petrie is off to Europe on a scouting trip. Could he be scouting for our next coach named Vlade?
Click to expand...

Who knows. That too would be a gamble. Should be able to connect with the players obviously, but has he ever coached at any level in any role? And Vlade, great guy that he'd be, never impressed as exactly the workaholic type. Coaches are famous for often arriving at 6:00 in the morning and staying until 8:00 at night. What kind of country club would Vlade run? Might be more of a front office faceman ala Jerry -- only problem being that Jerry kind of IS Sacramento, whereas Vlade is always going to be a multinational force.
 
Last edited:
I wouldn't be suprised to see Theus in the running. The Malloofs , for one thing want somebody who is at ease with the media and out in the public eye. Regie is a very articulate , popular guy , a former star in the NBA, loves to be out and about around town and imo knows the game very well.

If they thought he could relate to the players and get them to buy in, I can see him getting a serious look.
 
Rug King said:
I wouldn't be suprised to see Theus in the running. The Malloofs , for one thing want somebody who is at ease with the media and out in the public eye. Regie is a very articulate , popular guy , a former star in the NBA, loves to be out and about around town and imo knows the game very well.

If they thought he could relate to the players and get them to buy in, I can see him getting a serious look.
Click to expand...

I hope and pray the Maloofs have learned their lesson and will stay away from the whole process, letting Geoff Petrie do the job he's being paid millions of dollars to do. Petrie is the one who should be looking at potential candidates, not the Maloofs. It's Petrie who knows the vision he has for the rebuild, so it should be his responsibility to find the coach that will best fit that vision.

I honestly believe the Maloofs are more than a little embarrassed about the whole Musselman thing. And I'm hoping they have indeed learned that they just aren't the ones who should be performing GM duties.
 
VF21 said:
I honestly believe the Maloofs are more than a little embarrassed about the whole Musselman thing. And I'm hoping they have indeed learned that they just aren't the ones who should be performing GM duties.
Click to expand...

I think the Maloofs masquerading as GMs could be seen as a blessing in disguise. Without this year's disaster, I don't think they would have realized that they don't have the basketball acumen of Petrie, which they certainly do now. Also, it triggered a rebuilding job that was long overdue, as we probably could have gotten the 8th seed + sweep + 15th pick with a coach who knew what he was doing.
 
HighFlyingMonkey said:
I think the Maloofs masquerading as GMs could be seen as a blessing in disguise. Without this year's disaster, I don't think they would have realized that they don't have the basketball acumen of Petrie, which they certainly do now.
Click to expand...

You and I are in total agreement about this part. It's just a shame we, the fans, had to watch the season from hell to get to this point.
 
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