Grades v. Nuggets 04/13

What to do with the Ike Monster?

  • Kiss him

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Hug him

    Votes: 1 1.7%
  • Hug him and kiss him

    Votes: 4 6.7%
  • Let him walk

    Votes: 6 10.0%
  • Invite him to training camp

    Votes: 6 10.0%
  • Offer him a 1yr minimum deal

    Votes: 18 30.0%
  • Offer him a multiyear deal for $3million a year

    Votes: 4 6.7%
  • Offer him a multiyear deal for $3billion a year

    Votes: 1 1.7%
  • Offer him a multiyear deal for $3gadzillion a year

    Votes: 5 8.3%
  • Steal his mojo and give it to Spencer

    Votes: 15 25.0%

  • Total voters
    60
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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
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Ikechukwu Somtochukwu Diogu!!!

Well, that was entertaining at least. You know what? I already have my final theme of the season planned out for Wednesday, and this finished in fugly blowout fashion despite being a good game through most of it. So since this has been the season of the blowout, and hence of the Pretty Girls, let's just do that dance one last time with something suggested a couple of games ago, by a female no less: Pretty Girls: The Joss Whedon Collection. And as this is the 2nd to last theme, and the last of the Pretty GHirls themes, lets make it an extended addition with basically all of them, + the main Whedon boy toys for the ladies.

Nocioni ( C+ ) -- hit an early three, but lost the battle vs. Melo early. Was just standing out there bombing from three point land for whatever reason, taking 6 of his 10 shots from beyond the arc. Did a solid job on the glass and had a few aggressive highlights after half, but mostly a quiet effort while Melo nearly racked up a triple double (21pts 9rebs and 9ast).
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Sarah Michelle Gellar -- of course how could I do this theme without leading off with this lady...and yet it occurred to me as I was looking for pics that other than the Hot Babes draft from last summer, she may not have made an appearance on this board as a part of any of these threads. Many of these Whedon ladies I know I have used before, but SMG, the most famous of them all? Not sure. In any case, Buffy was a little hottie who just had terrible taste in men (the whole tired bad boy schtick). She'd kick your ***, but still look really cute doing it though.

Thompson ( B- ) -- had the size advanatge in there against Martin, and used it early to get off to the fast start. In fact notched most of his numbers in the first quarter before increasingly taking a back seat to the Ike Diogu Express. Probably outplayed Kenyon Martin on the night, or at least played him to a draw, but had some problems in there against the Birdman's length and should maybe take some lessons from Master Ikechukwu on how to deal with a shotblocker. Missed his FTs, and wrapped the night up with a solid but non-impact 13pts 9rebs in 40 minutes.
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Kristy Swanson -- people forget that SMG was not the first Buffy -- a few years before the cult TV series came out, Joss Whedon had managed to sell a movie studio on the idea...kinda, and Buffy was brought to film. Except that Wehdon himself, a relative unknown and a kid at the time, was marginalized while a bunch of hacks who had no idea what they were doing made a real mess of his baby. So in some ways Swanson may not really be a Whedon girl -- she may no have been his call. But back in the day she certainly had the looks of a Whedon lady, i.e. beautiful, and was on a much bigger scale than SMG making her a more credible, but less amusingly ironic choice to play the vampire slayer. She would go on to a decent movie career, and even did a rather spectacular spread in Playboy...or so I've heard. Alas time has not been entirely kind, she has struggled with her weight, gotten a reputation as a homewrecker for stealing the husband of a pregnant woman, and in general faded from the hottie scene. Back in the day though...

Hawes ( INC ) -- and here is the potential downer to the Ike Diogu coming out party. Spencer was off to a solid offensive start, both with his own offense and with his passing (he has begun to hit JT with regularity on the interior -- a good sign of emerging chemistry for the future) although he was getting overpowered by Nene the other way. But then the gulp moment arrived as he took a fall after getting hit going in for a dunk (was called a flagrant foul, but it was not a dirty play, just a moderately hard foul that caught him in an awkward position) and had to leave the game with a knee issue. He felt good enough to shoot the FTs, walked into the lockerroom under his own power, and really on the play I thought he had just banged his knee or shin onto the ground. But the report came back that it was a strained knee and that he will be flying back to Sacto to get an MRI, in all liklihood ending his season. Did not look like much when the play happened, but with his history of knee problems lets just hope its something minor. Spencer has been just about the brightest point the Kings have had these last few months.
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Charisma Carpenter -- long perhaps my favorite of the lengthy list of Whedon related beauties, Charisma had the best pretty girl name in the biz until Megan Fox came along. A former San Diego Charger cheerleader, her Cordelia character jumped shows along with Angel himself once the Angel spinoff series started, ending up as one of Whedon's longest running female leads (and David Boreanz (Angel) actually got paid good money to spend his afternoons first making out with Sarah Michelle Gellar in Buffy, then with Charisma in the spinoff show -- I am in the wrong line of work). Charisma would also go on to do a spectacular Playboy spread...which I also just heard about, and long was rumored to be in the running for the lead in Whedon's oft delayed Wonder Woman project.
 
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Garcia ( D+ ) -- in the early going scored easily against Dahntay Jones, who is normally a good defender, and J.R. Smith, who is not. But after the fast start seemed to get too eager to shoot, gunning up some bad shots and constantly demanding the ball. Birdman blocked several of his shots when he got too close to the hoop, and he had some mysteriously bad turnovers. Poor as his offensive night became however (5-16 from the field) it was on the other end where disaster awaited. Neither Cisco nor McCants could or would guard J.R. Smith, and the knucklehead dropped a career high in points (45), set a Nuggets record for three pointers made (11) and amazingly did it all in less than 30 minutes. It was ridiculous. And down the stretch it got ugly, with Smith on fire, aware of the records he was chasing (including the NBA record for threes in a game, which is 12), and being egged on by a crowd in party mode, he was coming down the floor and just chucking at every opportunity. He shot 13-22 on the night....and 11-18 from 3pt land! And his teammates, with the game already out of reach, just started to throw him the ball so he could chuck some more. He hit a ridiculous sideways spinning 26ft 3ptr with Cisco draped all over him to set the Nuggets record, and then to Cisco's credit he had had enough and just began to jump all over him, foul him, whatever it took to stop the dip from having a party at our expense. By far the best and most admirable thing Cisco did all night as otherwise he got annihilated and his man won the game for the Nuggets nearly singlehandedly. Did not stop Natt from playing him nearly the full 48 however (46+ minutes), just because it is Natt, and he is random.
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Alyson Hannigan -- the mousy little nerd of the original Buffy series (yes, this is what mousy little nerds look like in Whedon's world -- love that man), Alyson's character "Willow" was smart, eventually powerful, they even eventually turned her into a lesbian. But for our purposes what really matters is that she was always immensely cute as well. She acheived additional fame as the "one night, at band camp" girl from American Pie, and I know I used her to anchor a hot redheads theme last year as well.

BJax ( A ) -- people who remember the Poems theme I did on here a couple of months back may recall that I led off with Dylan Thomas's famous poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night." Well, its nice to know that Bobby is a fan of Thomas as well because if these be his last few games in the league, he is rage raging against the dying of the light, and had himself a heck of a ballgame. He and the The MailIke were really the two reasons we hung around as long as we did in this one. Had only two points in the first quarter but his scrap and hustle helped us set a competitive tone. And while he was waiting for his own offense to come around he was flat out racking up the assists -- something he is not prone to do. He had 12 this game, whihc is 2 off the career high he set fully 11 years ago. His offense eventually came on line, and late in the game he was bombing in big three pointers as he tried to hold off J.R. Smith's explosion. Perhaps most importantly, and how he earned himself a final staright A as a parting gift, he apparently caught Billups on one of Chauncey's famous I don't give a damn days, and completely dominated a guy who will probably make the top 10 in the MVP voting this year. 18pts 12ast for Bobby, a 5pt 6ast on 1-7 shooting wipeout for Billups.
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Julie Benz -- the hottie behind a popular villainess from Buffy's first season that met an untimely end (well...I guess when you are 400 years old can't be too untimely), her character Darla was ressurected and brought back for the Angel spinoff (and yes, I think Boreanz got to make out with her too -- I hate that guy). She has gone on to become a popular TV actress and starred in Stallone's Rambo from last year.

Diogu ( A+ ) -- ok, this was just completely ridiculous. We can have numerous threads debating larger issues like resigning Ike (no IMO), or what it all means (not much IMO) or whatever, but the game Mr. Diogu put together itself...just ridiculous. Quite literally I think the best game a power player for the Kings has played in years. A career game. I like to sort of make notes as the game progresses to give some feel for the flow, but there was no flow here. Ike jus came in kicking *** and taking names from the moment he hit the floor in place of Spencer. He was completely dominant in there, and the sole reason the Kings challenged for a while -- the Nuggets could do nothing with him. The solution to a player like Amare or Boozer or somebody going 30-10 on you is to start doubling him to put a stop to it, but when its Ike Diogu suddenly expoding out of nowhere I think their coaching staff was too stunned to know what to do. He outbanged Nene, ran over and through Birdman, played the power postgame the way you wish Spencer or JT would, banging, and fighting for positon, and then just rumbling right through his defenders. Once he even knocked out one of Nene's teeth when he had the audacity to get in Ike's way (which Nene impressively took like a man BTW, just walking over to the sideline to hand one of the trainers his tooth and going right on playing with barely a grimace -- guess when you have been through all the injury/health hell he has, a tooth ain't no thang). And then there were the jumpers, as not only was Ike perfect out there, he was just unconscious, repeatedly canning side pops right in Nene's face even as the bigger man crowded him and smothered his shots. It was like he was back in college, only better. Had 11 points in his first 6-8 minutes of work. A ridiculous 14pt 8reb first half, and playing like a beast. Continued the ridiculous 20-10 assault in the third, including leading, in fact nearly singlehandedly being a comeback that brought us back within 1 or 2 in the mid quarter. And just rumbled right ot through to his career high. If it had not been for the nearly as ridiculous J.R. Smith antics, clearly ths story of the game. Was even effective on defense where Ike often struggles -- still too short to block a shot and picked up two goaltends trying (at his height and with his hops he almost has to catch them on the way down as he can't reach them at their peak), but he banged with Nene something fierce jarring him and throwing him just far enough off that he missed his power layups all night long.
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Michelle Trachtenberg -- arriving on Buffy as a teenager playing Buffy's kid sister for the final 3 seasons (unfortunately being maybe part of what went wrong with the show towards its end), you could already see the potential Whedon level future hotness. And in the 5 years since the show ended Ms. Trachtenberg has blossomed into another real beauty. This makes two appearances for her this year in Pretty Girls themes. Its not just any pretty girl can say they've had that honor.

Greene ( D+ ) -- in the early going you thought Donte must have been replaced by a pod person as he came in off the bench, eschewed the shot, passed and racked up assists, played defense, and in all ways looked like a player just trying to find other ways to help than just gunning. In fact really, even though I cannot give much of a grade for this, even though he finally put up his usual 25% shooting and those passes eventually became turnovers, it was still an improvement in approach. He took not one three today, attacked the basket, made a noticeable effort to close out defensively. He was minimally effective, but Donte desperately needs to diversify his game form mere off target three point chucker, and there were some signs of it tonight at least.
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Eliza Dushku -- the notorious "Dark Slayer" from Buffy's 3rd season (and numerous guest appearances there and in the Angel series therafter), Eliza might only have been in 20 total episodes or so, and yet her character left such an impact it launched a major Hollywood career. Of course it helped that the Dark Slayer got to strut around in leather pants and cleavage baring halter tops as the slutty scratchy voiced yang to Buffy's yin. It also helped that Eliza is just flat out hot.
 
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McCants ( D ) -- this was not a good performance for Rashad. Just seemed off in his whole appreoach to things and a bit unfocused. On offense he was just settlign for 3pt chucks and threw a godawful turnvoer that had you scratching your head. and on defense -- might want to consider guarding J.R. Smith at the three point line Rashad. Natt barked at him as well, and has me wondering a bit if the mystery of McCants' fewer than it seems he should receive minutes may be a coach/player conflict. Or maybe it was just tonight as Rashas's shoddy D at the three point line helepd Smith to get rolling.
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David Boreanaz -- well, I promised the ladies Whedon men as well, so time to get that ball rolling too. David Boreanaz, who rose to fame as the famously moody vampire Angel on BTVS and then ran 5 years with his own spinoff show, and I think is now on Bones? As mentioned he had the best job in televsion...actually one of the best jobs you can think of period...getting paid well to play the sex symbol and make out with various of the Whedon beauties in his 8 years in the Whedonverse.

Simmons ( INC ) -- the boxscore says he got 2:30 minutes, and I am guessing that must have been at the end of the game as we took out the Diogu express, but I don't specifically recall. In any case, useful as an extra name here, because from this point on I am going to have to get inventive on people to grade to get in all the names/pics still to come for this theme.
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James Marsters -- for years Marsters was one of the best things about Buffy as the sarcastic and sardonic platinum haired vampire Spike. But I've long felt that one of those other things that went wrong the last few years of the show was when some fangirls apparently got hold of the character, and turned him into their moody Angel redux fantasy. Gone was any shred of humor, and in its place was a sick mopey contrived relationship with Buffy that made no sense under any of the established rules of the show. In any case, regardless of its wisdom given some of their sex scenes I am sure that that character development went over just fine with Marsters, and more Spike = more happy female viewers.

Booth ( ) -- clearly was willing to loan out some tiny portion of his superpowers to Ike for the night, and deserves kudos for uselfishly stepping aside so that his lessers can showcase as well. The Boothman is benevolent.
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Nathan Fillion -- had a fairly silly hard time finding a good shot of Captain Mal from the Firefly series/Serenity movie. Apparently, despite being a well known figure, he's never done anything beefcakey. In any case, walking the Han Solo rugged/rascally/funny line, Mal made for a fun ship's captain before the buffoons over at Fox cancelle Firefly no doubt for some mroe brain rotting "reality TV". As an aside, he actually got his Whedon start in the final season of Buffy, playing one of that season's villains, before making the jump over as antihero in Firefly.

Udrih ( ) -- they claimed it was an ankle, but I think sat this one out out of shame over the Spurs debacle. His absence allowed Bobby one last performance though, so its all good.
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Christina Hendricks -- okay, enough with all the guys for now, back to the girls! Christina Hendricks, who's 2-show stint on the Firefly series (the first show of which was one of the most hilarious hours of TV I have ever seen) was enough to open eyes everywhere and land her a permanent place in the Whedonverse of beauties. Not to mention Slim's heart.
 
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Martin ( ) -- uh Kevin, I really do appreciate you sitting out while we secured our draft pick. Not that I actually noticed that huge a difference in our record with you in vs. you out, but still. Nicely tanked. But, uh, you do realize the tank is done right? And that its safe to come out and play now? Oh well, suppose it doesn't really matter. Mostly just interested in using you as an excuse to hang another pretty girl on anyway, so let's get to it.
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Morena Baccarin -- probably my favorite of the Firefly/Serenity lovelies, Brazilian beauty Morena Baccarin was stunning playing kind of a futuristic geisha girl, and I think went on to appear on one of the Stargate series (talk about being typecast). She was actually part of the very first Pretty Girls theme, and very first theme altogether, a couple of years back after Muss started to crush the will to live of Kings fans and I figured they needed a pickmeup.

Smith ( F ) -- great shooting performance, but try to grow some class dude.
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Jewel Staite -- with an appeal running strongly to the cute, Jewel Staite was Firefly's own adorable grease monkey. It would appear from my picture search that she too has ended up on one of the Stargates. Quite the pipeline they have going there. this pic BTW is the same one that I used of her earlier this season when I did a Pretty Girls of Scifi theme...actually, I know I used it/her before, but don't specifically recall if she was part of the Scifi one or not. In any case, extremely cute.

Karl ( F ) -- oh and while we're at it, coach that is somewhat on you too. Not that you have ever been terribly known as a classy guy, but just a little palms down chill sign would have been appreciated.
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Gina Torres -- as Mal's tough/exotic 2nd in command, Gina Torres would have been well on her way to establishing a permanent place in the annals of all time tough scifi babes had that show not been cancelled. The Serenity was the best looking spaceship in, er, space. Or at least had the best looking crew. Think this is the same pic I used of her last time too -- maybe she was the scifi babe I used? Or maybe I used both? Er..anyway. She is Lawrence Fishbourne's better half btw.

Ibuprofen ( A ) -- ran out of people to grade. And ibuprofen (Advil) rocks. By far my favorite pain killer.
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Sean Maher -- and another one for the ladies, with Sean Maher, the ship's doctor and resident straight arrow on the Firefly series
 
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Jeremy ( A ) -- for keeping the lights on at this site even through these darkest of days for the franchise
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Emma Caufield -- haha! you thought I was done didn't you? But I did say I would get them all, and this is the last theme of this sort of the year, so nothig to save them for. Or more properly, nothing for which to save them. Which may be proper, but is also awkward enough I'll just take my dangling preposition, thx. In any case, with more beauties like Emma still lukring in the Whedonverse, it would be irresponsible of me to let them wallow in obscurity. Emma played the hilarious character "Anya" through much of the final 4 seasons of Buffy, and looked damn good doing it.

The Sun ( A ) -- for continuing to shine everyday. Without it it would get chilly.
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D.B. Woodside -- played the principal in the final season of Buffy, and I thought showed a tremendous amount of charisma in doing it, but was kind of wasted in what had became a muddled and overcrowded cast by the end. Got into an amusing conversation with Eliza Dushku in one of the final episodes about which one of them was the prettier, so thought he deserved the add for the ladies.

The Color Red ( A ) -- for not appearing blue, because that would cause a lot of confusion and probably mess up our flag as well (the red, white and red).
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Mercedes McNab -- played dimwit popular girl/vampire Harmony on Buffy, and then later apparently on Angel. Narrowly outpointed Clare Kramer as BTVS Season 5s Glory and a host of others for this spot by being the third lady on this list to have appeared in Playboy. Which is semi-ironic of course, given that Joss Whedon's work is ofttimes seen in feminist veins with its numerous strong female characters. But hardly surprising given his remarkable eye for beauty as well as strength in his actresses.

Tamborines ( A ) -- for making little bell sounds
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Armin Shimerman -- and one last one for the ladies...its Principal Snyder! (and also Quark the Ferengi from Deepspace 9). Enjoy!
 
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I voted for "steal his mojo and give it to Spencer", but I'm a bit worried about Hawes' injury tonight, so I would have preferred "steal his ACL..."
 
Final theme of the year is poster awards?

Most disgruntled Kings fan?

Most Pessimistic? Most optimistic? Angriest? Most controversial

I can see it now,,,
 
yer right. its only one game but where did Diogu come from with that game? Showcasing for sure but there was more. If Kings get #1 and Griffin and Ike shows he can play like that off the bench and is kept with the 2 big kids, that would be quite a front line!

But you gotta start Noce, JT and Hawes with Griffin off the bench for awhile with Ike. Then.............wow!! what a problem to have.

If only the Kings could get a floor leader. PG would be nice, may be necessary as Kevin is not that type tho' Hawes could be but you want a 5 to be like Vlade.

Diogu is a restricted FA I believe. So choice is Kings whether he stays or goes. Could be good trade bait tho'.
 
Sigh. Guys...I sincerely doubt Ike has any trade value at all. Until last night, he was probably off to Europe next season. After last night...he is probably still off to Europe. His NBA status is very much similar to Sheldon's. This was a remarkable performacne, but as abberrant as aberrations come.
 
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Christina Hendricks -- okay, enough with all the guys for now, back to the girls! Christina Hendricks, who's 2-show stint on the Firefly series (the first show of which was one of the most hilarious hours of TV I have ever seen) was enough to open eyes everywhere and land her a permanent place in the Whedonverse of beauties. Not to mention Slim's heart.

Good Bible.
 
David Boreanz and James Marsters... Angel and Spike. Very well played, Brickie.
 
Hey Brickie, no Summer Glau on the list? She was in Firefly, has filled out pretty nicely since then.
 
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Hey Brickie, no Summer Glau on the list? She was in Firefly, has filled out pretty nicely since then.

I almost included another set of 4 with a very similar comment -- had noticed some pics of her in the last year where she has really come into her own.

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Here is another nice pic. Any chick with a shotgun can be classified as a hottie. There's an idea for a thread next season if it hasn't been done already, kicka** hot girls starting with Summer and Rose McGowan from Grindhouse.
 

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Here is another nice pic. Any chick with a shotgun can be classified as a hottie. There's an idea for a thread next season if it hasn't been done already, kicka** hot girls starting with Summer and Rose McGowan from Grindhouse.


Its amusing -- now you guys are getting it. ;)

I had one of those in the queue, with the ladies already all picked out and everything.

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