Grades v. Hornets 04/16

[Bricklayer]

Okay, could have gone two ways with this one -- actually three. And not enough time left in the season to cover my remaining thread ideas. So going to go with the happiest of the potential topics, because we lost, and in this upside down season that makes me a happy guy.

Theme = Movies That Make You Go Ha Ha

Artest ( B+ ) -- threw up some ugly garbage inside in the early going, but then stepped outside and began smoothly stroking jumpers. Along the way was notching up assists, although as usual he was either looking to score, or pass, on any given possession, and there was no crossing over. Came out in the third, in his man on a mission mode, which could almost be admirable in other circumstances. Was a pain for the Hornets, who could not find a good defensive matchup for him, chipped in on the glass.

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL -- remains to this day one of the all time classics, and while other Python movies have their moments and their fans, this has to have been the pinnacle of their absurdist humor. Funny thing though ("funny thing", get it?) is that this movie is easily one of the most quoted roll on the floor romps of all time, and I'm smiling just thinking about it as I type this, yet I've known people who watched it and just did not get it at all. Best moment: ...damn, so many in this film. Might have to go with Sir Galahad facing his "peril", but come on now, this is like making the final cut on one of the pretty girl threads.

Reef ( B+ ) -- ah yes, don't call it the season's garbagetime for lottery teams, its Reeftime baby! Big offensive push in the early going, and hitting more line drive jumpers than post moves. Was also able to out "muscle" fellow softy big David West for his fair share of the early rebounds. Only knocked down one second half jumper to lose out on what was looking to be a surefire A of some sort.

AIRPLANE -- this was the ZAZ team's first huge hit, and not only did it spawn a sometimes underrated sequal (Airplane II, with one of the funniest cameos I have ever seen from William Shatner) but it set the stage for hiolarious movie after hilarious movie for the crew for the rest of the decade (the 80's), Top Secret, the Naked Gun flicks (see below). Of course the schtick is that all of the above barely qualify as movies at all -- just a blizzard of quick hitting joke after quick hitting joke from the masters of the genre leaving you no time to stop laughing from one before hitting you wiht another, and another. Only sad part is that this movie became the basis for so many bad ripoff type attempts throughout the last 20 years, some of them from one member of the ZAZ team or the other, who apparently are far more funny as a team than as individuals. But who cares as long as Ariplane and its ilk are still available. Best moment: oh crap, again, maybe I should quit trying to identify these.

Miller ( B+ ) -- began the game hitting all his jumpers once again, and the game was looking easy for him once more matched against the awe inspiring Marc Jackson (who did more than his fair share of scoring back the other way). Minutes were considerably limited, but he, like Ron and Reef, was playing so free and easy in this one that any more minutes would have seriously threatened our lin.

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN -- there were two big hit comedies from the summer of 2005, both went for the R rating and the freedom that allows, but while I liked the Wedding Crashers, thought it had some hilarious moments out at the house in particular, and think Vince Vaughn has a great comedic touch, I think it relied too much on him to freelance and make things funny that weren't necessarily written as such. The 40 Year Old Virgin though....not every moment, not every scene, but I think it might have had some of the funniest moments onscreen since Something About Mary with the realization that many of the best comedies feature leading men/women who are basically straight men while all kinds of absurdity takes place around them.

Martin ( C+ ) -- another quiet first half, and really these last few weeks, or even months, have not done much for Kevin's MIP chances. Likely the weakest of our 5 starters, and did very little before half except watch Devin Brown light up the scoreboard in ridiculous 16pt first quarter fashion. Showed more pep in the third, and got some finishes around the hoop. But just not really there again, including missing a gimme follow from 5 ft at one point. Given the big stats Kevin normally puts up in summer league, guess its fortunate for our lin chances that he hasn't realized that this is all these games really are at this point.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE -- My name is Inigo Mont....oh wait, anyway... A gentle little movie that makes you smile, then makes you laugh, then makes you laugh some more. Embarrasing admission on my part -- first time I saw this, I came in in the middle, and turned it off after about 15 minutes thinking gee this is stupid. Should have been, gee I am stupid. Caught the whole thing a few months later, and was hitting myself on the head for not getting it right off the bat. Take a fairy tale, some stalwart actors able to say silly things with a perfectly straight face, and then go have some fun. Had a good heart too.

 

[Bricklayer]

Bibby ( A- ) -- rapidly moving into the range of jerkhood now, as the season is over, and Mike again started the game chucking up effortless three after effortless three. 4 of them in the early going as we briefly looked like we were going to blow the Hornets out of the building. In fact you may just have to thank St. Bobby (see below) that we did not. If he tries this crap again in the desperately needed Lakers lin, I might start hoping we trade the little ingrate to Siberia. In any case, huge start, and had us out to a 15pt lead in the early going just hitting everything. Finally got slowed as Bobby Jackson checked into the game, and fesity as always, immeidately started a smiling game of anything you can do I can do better with Mike. Muss went to the bench so Bobby could torture Douby for a while, and Mike did not return until the 3rd, but which time Chris Paul (who had started slow)was really rolling and clearly got the better of it. When minutes are so limited its hard to tell whether we were jsut talking hot start here, but certainly got the feeling that if this one had mattered, and if Muss had let him with the big minutes, that this was going to be one of those 30pt type nights from Mike.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY -- and no way was I escaping from this list without including this beauty. One of my all time favs, and I think I may never have laughed so hard in my life as I did at an absolutely amazing scene involving a little dog. Kind of followed an episodic pattern rather than the nonstop attack of the Airplane class of films, and went through maybe 5-10 minutes of relatively straight development only to blindside you with simply inspired stuff. You knew from the very first burst of hilarity invoilving some franks and beans that you were in for a treat. And one of the all time best at being able to build the joke, starting off funny, and then just piling on and piling on until your sides hurt. Ben Stiller has gone on to star in dozens of comedies of varying merit, but this remains his finest hour.

Douby ( B ) -- made some hustle plays around the glass again, as well as stepping in to risk his skin and bone taking charges. Showed much more offense, and had a little give and take with Chris Paul in the second quarter -- did not win that battle obviously, but competed well. Was schooled by both Paul and Bobby in the late going, but had a few little moments of his own back the other way. That shot, BTW, is ugly. Not the first guy on our team with an ugly shot, but its slow and the release point right in the opponents face seems to beg for a shotblock. So far I can't recall anyone getting it though, so maybe one of those things that lacks aesthically but just works.

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNING OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN -- this one is almost a litmus test of how serious you take yourself, because a large part of this movie's schtick is that he is laughing at you as much as you are laughing at him. Well, maybe not you, but definitely us. And how better to cut right to the chase of the matter than to set people up and then let them make complete asses of themselves? Still, some of the most ridiculously funny moments involved people's struggle to remain polite -- the dinner party in particular is just brilliant as he ups the ante again and again on his hosts. And of course at the heart of the movie by far and away the greatest fight scene ever filmed anywhere by anyone.


Williams ( B+ ) -- another high energy first half stint -- well, at least start to the stint. May have tired a bit late. In any case, largely dominated the early matchup against the Hornets' late lottery pick, Hilton Armstrong. Things evened out a bit after half though, wiht Armstrong, and the other Hornets, doing a better job of keeping Justin off the glass, and Justin unable to finish consistently. Still, for all the "balancing", another big game statistically -- 7pts 9rebs 1blk in 23min. Was wavering on the grade a bit because one thing he was not able to do was keep the scrappy little Hornets' guards from penetrating and finishing inside.

A FISH CALLED WANDA -- amongst a lot of very famous movies, wanted to make sure this one was not lost. This movie paired parts of the old Monty Python gang with Amercans Kevin Kleine and Jamie Lee Curtis to create one of the funniest films of the late 80s. Kevin Kleine was brilliant, as was John Cleese. And a scene where Cleese is caught by his wife while making out with Wanda was one of the most hilarious I have seen. They tried to recapture the magic with the same cast a decade later in "Fierce Creatures", but it just did not really come close.

Cisco ( B ) -- off the bench and quickly drained an open three courtesy of Ron, and was off and shooting once again. 10 second quarter points and he was feeling all kinds of cocky once again. Not his normal all around game though -- in the first half it was all scoring. Made a nice open court move and finish after returning in the third, but the second half was largely a reversal of the first. Was no longer consistently hitting his shots, but was beginning to fill up the stat sheet with hustle type plays. Did get lit up badly by the much quicker BJax in the late 3rd/early 4th, and raises again some questions about his ability to guard 1s and quick 2s with his lateral movement.

GROUNDHOG DAY -- Bill Murray is a very funny man, and yet when you get down to it, there have only been a handful of his movies that I have actually liked. This one had to be the pinnacle though (sorry Caddyshack fans), and if this interminable season had drug on any longer and I was forced to do a Chick Flick theme, I might have slipped it in there too. Make no mistake though, this is a comedy, and a brilliant one. great premise, and what I really loved was how they milked it completely dry by attacking it from every angle. Yeah, he wants the girl and the movie had a warm fondness for its characters, but you'd have to be rather tragically emotionally stunted to miss all the great laughs and dismiss this one as "just a movie for chicks".

 

[Bricklayer]

Salmons ( B- ) -- here's how little there was to say about John's performance last night: if I have a laptop around I will take little notes on players throughout the game for purposes of spicing up these grades. Plays, trends, stats at certain points of the game etc. Well last night I failed to even have an entry for John. Forgot to even type him up as having been in the game. Which is not to say he was awful -- indeed he was very much just John Salmons. 7pts 2reb 2ast on 40% shooting John Salmons. But he left no mark this time out. In fact for the most part was just dared to shoot 3pters by the Hornets, and at least managed to knock one down this time.

THE NAKED GUN -- I had pondered whether I should try to merge this one in with Airplane in order to open up more slots for other movies on this list, but just could not do it. The ZAZ trio turned out the Airplanes, Top Secret, 3 Naked Gun movies...maybe the Hot Shots series too, although that may have only been one or two of them, and of all of them, this one might well be my favorite. This was Airplane in a police drama. Same schtick, but with one of the all time kings of the straight face in Leslie Nielson bumbling from one disaster to another. So many hilarious jokes, great cameos, a Top 10 all time scene in a disastrous breakin into a room full of priceless art. More than deserves its own slot here. Onlyt disappointing thign has been how many bad bad ripoff movies Nielson has been in since, alwasy tryign to suplicate his character/success here, but apparently without realizing that he was just the staright man, while the comic geniuses were the writers.

Muss ( ) -- I rarely bother with these anymore. Impossible to grade coaching anyway with the season kind of now into a second preseason type mode. But you can say, a) our guys are still playing hard -- too hard. And b) Muss is actually doing fine with the minutes, Artest aside. Of course the smarter teams around the league have already shut down their major players, but hell, that's been our thing all year anyway: we aren't even as good as our 33 wins. Had amazingly good injury luck for a Kings team -- maybe the best since the early days of the Adelman era. And we still finsihed behind teams like the HBornets who were absolutley runed wiht inuries. We have no excuses. We just sucked. Thankfully with Muss removing our silly veterans out to prove some sort of point by winning meaningless games after they have sucked all season, the kids were unable to hold the lead. Good for them. And us. 20+ min for what kids were available, and a loss. Happy times.

ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE -- you knwo what? I rarely think Jim Carrey is funny. Just way way too much mugging. And so often his movies have been lazily written with whole scenes that apaprently just say "okay Jim, make a funny face" (the comedies at least -- he's actually developed into a solid dramatic actor in Robin Wiliams fashion). But this one was really funny. Think it was still fresher back then. And might have been the most consistently funny of all of his flicks. Given the incredible strangeness of his character, even Carey's wacky faces and talking buttocks feel spot on. And it built toward a great climatic scene with a nice little cameo from Dan Marino (not to mention Tone Loc) of all people. Somehow not buying that the Pet Detective gets to sleep with Courtney Cox in her prime, but more laughs ensue so its all good.


BJAX ( A+ ) -- this was suggested, and ironically I already had it penciled in (or maybe not so ironic, in that its likely people just know my schtick by now). In any case, Bobby bailed our buns out last night, and God bless the glass man. His team had already mailed the season in, but Bobby, like our own Cisco, just doesn't know when to quit and came in firing. Turned the momentum right around, and in a flashback moment carried it right through the game as a major reason why the Hornets pulled this one out down the stretch. Thx one more time Bobby!

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF -- see, I got backed into a corner here with us no longer having a full 12 guys to play. Simply ran out of slots for the Spaceballs, Austin Powers, Major League, Caddyshack etc. type contenders, and never did have room for some for the modern movies with just one great scene of hilarity (the puppet sex scene in Team America or non-puppet sex scene in American Pie come to mind). Wanted to give Joss Whedon a nod by tagging Serenity (even though it was not a pure comedy), thought of slipping in a low budget darkhorese liek Orgazmo etc.. But out of time, I decided to go with a really funny old sleeper pick. Comedy, they say, does not age well. And I think that's certainly true of most movies let's say pre-1970 or so. But this sly little parody of the Western genre is still really funny today. Benefits immensely from James Garner's wry leading performance, played with a wink and a nod (Garner was also part of another funny sleeper comedy called My Fellow Americans, with he and Jack Lemmon playing two grumpy old ex-Presidents, and sort of updated this a character in Maverick across from Mel Gibson). It spawned a sequel that was not nearly as good, but while this one may not have you rolling on the floor, its a constant chucklefest poking holes into every aspect of the western movie, and getting some great supporting performances from all sorts of well kown character actors.

 

[nbrans]

placeholder A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ for Bobby.

 

[Warhawk]

Placeholder "about time you did this theme" post.

You got the two best ones right off the bat (Holy Grail and Airplane).

How about "The Ref"? Austin Powers?

Spaceballs HAS to be in there....

 

[GoGoGadget]

Good theme, and good choices so far.

 

[Cal-Kings]

Martin ( C+ ) -- another quiet first half, and really these last few weeks, or even months, have not done much for Kevin's MIP chances. Likely the weakest of our 5 starters, and did very little before half except watch Devin Brown light up the scoreboard in ridiculous 16pt first quarter fashion. Showed more pep in the third, and got some finishes around the hoop. But just not really there again, including missing a gimme follow from 5 ft at one point. Given the big stats Kevin normally puts up in summer league, guess its fortunate for our lin chances that he hasn't realized that this is all these games really are at this point.

I read this this morning and thought, wait, Kevin wasn't assigned to Brown.

I just went back and watched the 1st quarter where Brown scored his 16 points and guess who was guarding him? Our best Defender, Ron Artest.

Kevin was guarding Butler and helping Bibby on Paul and Jackson a little.

I've often noticed that people assume that our defense lines up position on position, but that's often not the case.

Maybe people think Kevin isn't a good defender because they're not really watching the assignments.

I assume that if Artest couldn't stop Brown, maybe Brown just had a hot quarter.

 

[bozzwell]

Brick,

First, let me tell you that since this season has gone to you know where, I've pretty much reduced my basketball browsing to quickly skimming through box scores and standings (lottery of course), paging through kingsfans.com in couple of minutes and stopping only to read your grades threads or popping over to espn.com to see if Bill Simmons can get of his *** to write a half-decent basketball column. So if I read anything about basketball these days that does not involve draft news or draft breakdowns it is probably written by you.

Imagine my dissapointment then, when you post grade threads with funny movies theme and while you hit it on the nail with most of the movies (I cannot imagine any such list wihtout Vanda, Groundhog Day, one ZAZ movie etc.) but not a single Mel Brooks movie? Not a single John Candy movie ("Airplanes, Trains, Automobiles" but "Uncle Buck" would do to).

Come on Mr. Layer, you can do better then that.

Although, having seen your list now and that it matches 90% with mine, I better go and check "The Princesss Bride"...

 

[vytzka]

Although, having seen your list now and that it matches 90% with mine, I better go and check "The Princesss Bride"...

Oh, you should. Like, right now

I missed Spaceballs and Army of Darkness. But otherwise very very cool movie list.

 

[D-Mass]

WOW...your comedy movie choices are almost EXACTLY what I would have picked. I had thought everyone had forgotten about gems like Fish Called Wanda...what a great flick.

"Hello...K-K-K-Ken's P-P-P-Pets!"

 

[GoGoGadget]

Solid list.

I'd have made room for at least one selection from Mel Brooks (probably High Anxiety), early John Waters (probably Female Trouble) and Raising Arizona.

 

[Bricklayer]

Apologies -- I did have Spaceballs lined up as that last pick, but went sleeper pick instead.

John Candy however I never got.

 

[peja16]

Since this will surely dissolve into a 'list of funny movies' thread (the Kings arent nearly as interesting), here's my spontaneous contribution: Strange Brew, Adaptation (my personal fave), Ed Wood, Little Miss Sunshine, FUBAR.

Apparently one of the funniest films ever made is 'Even Hitler had a Girlfriend', about a repulsive, pathetic security guard who spends his entire life savings on prostitutes. It's hard to get though, I have yet to see it.

I personally enjoy the type of humor that exploits everyday failures or mocks serious situations or people. Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China comes to mind.

 

[Warhawk]

Apologies -- I did have Spaceballs lined up as that last pick, but went sleeper pick instead.

I do have to admit that I had forgotten about SYLS and deem it worthy of your list. But not at the expense of Spaceballs. You should have dropped Ace if nothing else to put this one in.

Brick gets a B+.

 

[Ryle]

Couldn't stand A Fish Called Wanda but one of my all time faves is Dumb and Dumber....complete and total mindless humor.

 

[NewMonkey]

Leaving Caddyshack off the list is a crime against humanity.