Grades v. Heat 3/16

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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
On another depressing night, I decided a second pickmeup theme of Funny Quotes II was warranted:

Artest ( A ) -- apparently auditioning for a trade to the Heat tonight with a big night that singlehandedly kept this thing from blowout city. After a slow start forcing shots and missing easy ones, began to really come on and cause problems as the game headed toward halftime. And of the three guys who scored all our first half points (Mike, Reef, Ron), Ron was the one who seemed to have the biggest impact while he was going good. On the dowside, it was one of those streaks where nobody else touches the ball, and that persisted all evening. But then again on this night maybe nobody else deserved to touch the ball. In any case, came back out of half and carried us again in the early third with a couple of threes and some more trips to the line, and even picked up the rebounding as well. Missed some FTs that would have helped, but then again 10-13 is well above his season percentage. If we had won the game, and if that was actually a good thing at this point, might even have been a candidate for the "+", although there was the feeling that this was Ron determined to win and going great himself, rather than him finding a way to elevate the rest of the team.

"They (the Lakers) don't care if Michael Olowokandi gets points. If he explodes... he's gonna get 8." - Charles Barkley

Reef ( A- ) -- was the third of our three players to actually show up tonight, and played a solid and efficient game for the first time in a long while. Had a spate of early turnovers, but was about all we had going offensively there for a while in the late first/early second. Most of his first half offense was not the ball stopping black hole post play either, but an offensive rebound, a couple of quick conversions after good passes and hit one of his short corner threes. Was not overwhelmed as badly as you might have thought by Shaq when he tried to body him. Was not a dominant force, and 18 and 7 are nice numbers but not huge ones. But its been a while since he had anything like this game, and he did it this time for the most part within our flow rather than having to stop action so he could go to work. So A-. Downside was that the room for Reef's shots in our starting lineup came from Kevin and Brad basically stepping out.

"Play some Picasso." - Former New Jersey Net Chris Morris, to a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date.

Miller ( D+ ) -- you suspected that this would be a blowout at this late stage of their careers, and it did not disappoint. Had very little luck keeping Shaq from his spots, and never established any of his counter play from the perimeter. One or two good passes, and Shaq dominated, but did not destroy. Nonetheless this was pretty much a wipeout between these former "All Stars".

“Eric Piatkowski makes perhaps the greatest defensive play in Clipper history!” - Bill Walton, Mr Exaggeration

Martin ( D ) -- missed some wide open shots early, and was badly skunked by Eddie Jones before half. When not missing, was traveling. Just gave us nothing against for 3/4. Finally hit a shot in the early 4th, and looked a little more aggressive in the final quarter. But never established any consistency against Jones or Posey, who may be decrepit, but still know how to defend. For much of the night Kevin looked like the old guy ont he second half of a back to back. Had a few little moments darting about for some steals, and that pads this grade just a tad. Ever since that impressive player of the week run, Keivn has been erratic at best. Not sure exactly what I'm going to call an F for him, but 9pts on 3-9 from your leading scorer while an ancient waiver wire pickup lights us up the other way for 19pts on 7-9FGs is not good. So D again, and the Charlotte game as the only quality effort in the last 4.

"Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys." - Charles Barkley after Laettner's sumemr with the first (and only) Dream Team.
 
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Bibby ( B ) -- did most of our early scoring before passing the baton to Reef and then Ron, and disappearing for a long stretch. Reemerged in the third to provide some support for Ron in keeping us hanging around by hitting several long threes. More or less battled to a draw vs. the man he replaced, JWill, with Jason dropping some big three point bombs on us.

"Roses are red ... violets are blue ... if you look at another girl ... I will beat you." - Doug Christie's wife reciting a poem she had written to him.

Corliss ( D ) -- struggled in the first half and got several of his shots blocked around the rim. More struggles after half, and never able to get anything going except a couple of excuse me hoops. Still ended up scoring more points than the rest of the bench combined, but that's because we had no bench tonight.

"Can the Frenchman come in?" - Gregg Popovich, to President George W. Bush, regarding Tony Parker, when the Spurs visited the White House.

Salmons ( D+ ) -- one nice take in the first half. Otherwise very little, even when matched against future HOFer Chris Quinn after Payton had to leave with injury. Did scoop up a few balls on defense, but on a night when Kevin was AWOL neither John or Cisco gave us any relief.

"You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it." - Charles Barkley about Oliver Miller

Cisco ( D ) -- in the first half made one nice play to poke away a ball, but didn't stay any closer to Eddie Jones than did Kevin, and missed his only shot (a three). And that might have been the good half. Seems like I'm handing out a lot of Ds of late, but not sure how else to rate something like this. Was not godawful so much as just out there. In fact I think his only point on the night came shooting a technical. 1pt 0reb 1ast 1TO of yummy irrelevance.

"Every year, when I'm with a new team, that's one less team that doesn't know that I can't play. There are 5,000 players in America better than me that aren't in the NBA." - Mark Pope, Denver Nuggets.
 
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Price ( INC ) -- short first half stint, no second half return

"I wasn't impressed with the way he coached tonight, either." - Jason Terry, after Hawks coach Terry Stotts said he wasn't impressed with the way JT had played.

Williams ( B+ ) -- hustled hard. was inserted late in the first half and told to go guard Shaq. No problem for a skinny as a rail undersized undrafted rook. But while it was kind of a mess, did not do awfully. Fouled Shaq, which always results in at least one miss, and made it a little tougher to feed him. Got the early call in the second half at the end of the 3rd quarter, but this time against Zo rather than Shaq. Made some nice hustle plays around the offensive glass -- knows how to hang around and just move to the hoop. Kind of mystriously pulled soon therafter as Muss went into "must make the score not look so bad" mode.

"I feel like Bill Walton - old and ****ty." - Shaq

Muss ( ) -- what is there to say at this point? Another day, another loss. This time to the old decrepit guys on the back half of a back to back. And you gotta love the funny math in Muss's laptop -- only in Kingsland does Cleveland wihtout LeBron, Charlotte without Okafor, and Miami without Wade = 0-3. Memo to Kings: uh, guard Eddie Jones. And Jason Williams. James Posey..... Ah screw it, just guard SOMEBODY. The good news is that we held the Heat shooting percentages down by 10 points int he second half. The bad news is that means they still ended up at 55%. Muss tongiht...well, he was a bit handicapped seeing as he only had three players show up to the arena. 3 vs.5 games often go bad. Maybe we should have asked one of the Heat to go skins. Muss did kind of find a 4th scrub to fill in when he took a gamble and threw Justin Williams in to get eaten by Shaq in the late second quarter. Kid did not do awfully though, tried hard (unique concept) and Muss correctly rewarded him by moving him up in the rotation for an early second half appearance. Of course a few minutes later he then mysteriously removed him in favor of the Brad Miller replaicant we have suffered through all season -- you would think that a civilization as advanced as the crop circle aliens that abducted Brad from his corn field this summer would have at least been able to give his replacement remotely similar basketball skills. In any case, Ron played his butt off again. But he was out there on an island. Actually given the game he played tongiht, maybe a bit of a self constructed island. Mike popped up here and there to hit a three, and Reef might have been the only King to really score easy in rhythm type shots. But there was no real teamwork or cohesion, no huge pushes, just hanging around. Not even sure how concerned the Heat ever were. Had the game in control basically the whole way, and all Ron was doing was keeping it beneath 20. I don't even want to talk about the bench. Where you are supposed to go to get energy and push right? Remember those bench mob days? Remember Bobby Jackson? Well, he ain't here. SO it was Ron and Mike and Reef and...well, actually there is no "and", except that we lost. Oh, one more note: Muss again did the lovely play the vets to the bitter end to make the score look close thing. Ignoring whatever that means for developing the kids, it also means 4 of the 5 starters get 36+min with a back to back coming up tommorow night. Yay.

"[My] career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction." - Tracy McGrady, after signing with the Orlando Magic (by request)
 
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Brick, thanks for the "Funny Quotes II." At this point, it's about all that helps.

I particularly liked your Muss assessment/team assessment. Good read there.....and so right on.
 
Quotes Themed Grades (A) -- The reasons for this grade are twofold: they're funny as hell AND there's no risk of innocently stumbling upon Goliath Beetles and Camel Spiders and other such ickies that so deeply scar me.
 
Oh, one more note: Muss again did the lovely play the vets to the bitter end to make the score look close thing. Ignoring whatever that means for developing the kids, it also means 4 of the 5 starters get 36+min with a back to back coming up tommorow night. Yay.

should be fired for his stupidity. hello? under 20 games left in the season! :mad:
 
Muss ( ) -- what is there to say at this point? Another day, another loss. This time to the old decrepit guys on the back half of a back to back. And you gotta love the funny math in Muss's laptop -- only in Kingsland does Cleveland wihtout LeBron, Charlotte without Okafor, and Miami without Wade = 0-3. Memo to Kings: uh, guard Eddie Jones. And Jason Williams. James Posey..... Ah screw it, just guard SOMEBODY. The good news is that we held the Heat shooting percentages down by 10 points int he second half. The bad news is that means they still ended up at 55%. Muss tongiht...well, he was a bit handicapped seeing as he only had three players show up to the arena. 3 vs.5 games often go bad. Maybe we should have asked one of the Heat to go skins. Muss did kind of find a 4th scrub to fill in when he took a gamble and threw Justin Williams in to get eaten by Shaq in the late second quarter. Kid did not do awfully though, tried hard (unique concept) and Muss correctly rewarded him by moving him up in the rotation for an early second half appearance. Of course a few minutes later he then mysteriously removed him in favor of the Brad Miller replaicant we have suffered through all season -- you would think that a civilization as advanced as the crop circle aliens that abducted Brad from his corn field this summer would have at least been able to give his replacement remotely similar basketball skills. In any case, Ron played his butt off again. But he was out there on an island. Actually given the game he played tongiht, maybe a bit of a self constructed island. Mike popped up here and there to hit a three, and Reef might have been the only King to really score easy in rhythm type shots. But there was no real teamwork or cohesion, no huge pushes, just hanging around. Not even sure how concerned the Heat ever were. Had the game in control basically the whole way, and all Ron was doing was keeping it beneath 20. I don't even want to talk about the bench. Where you are supposed to go to get energy and push right? Remember those bench mob days? Remember Bobby Jackson? Well, he ain't here. SO it was Ron and Mike and Reef and...well, actually there is no "and", except that we lost. Oh, one more note: Muss again did the lovely play the vets to the bitter end to make the score look close thing. Ignoring whatever that means for developing the kids, it also means 4 of the 5 starters get 36+min with a back to back coming up tommorow night. Yay.

Bricklayer assessment of Eric Musselman - A+ -- Pretty much says all that needs to be said about his latest "effort."
 
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