Grades v. Hawks 03/19

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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
I have been toying with this theme for the last few weeks, and do not have enough lined up yet. But after tonight, theme's gotta be: Great Disasters.

Artest ( C ) -- here was actually was a King who played a solid first half and made a visible effort. But he disappeared along with everyone else after half and didn't look like he knew what to do in the face of the teamwide collapse. On defense may have actually missed the matchup against Joe Johnson, who Ron has gotten up for and dominated in the past. Tonight you would have had no idea one of the game;s elite defenders was on the floor. Or if you did, you might have guessed it was Josh Smith. I'm going C here on a night when that's a GOOD grade.

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THERA -- see that picture, the giant ring of blue inside the shell of an isalnd? That's a fundamanetally bad sign if you happen to be anywhere near the place when it blows. This is the Aegean volcano they think ended the mighty Minoan civilization circa 1500 B.C. Better yet, there is a popular school of thought that it might be the source of the Atlantis legend -- you see they have ancient documents which suggest that there was a lavish Minoan city on the island in the middle of that giant lagoon. That island of course being basically the lava dome at the heart of volcano when it blew. Oops. In any case, it is generally considered to be the second largest eruption of the historical era, and buried the villages on the far side of the island under 100ft of pumice and ash, and devastated the Minoan heartland on Crete 70 miles to the south. Oh, and BTW, the lava dome/island in the middle of the lagoon is back. No news on if anybody has moved back in yet.

Reef ( F ) -- Wow. Reef really showed the Atlanta brass what a mistake they made in trading him didn't he? Got into early foul trouble, but did absolutely nothing in the minutes he did get, 3pts 2reb in 17 min on 1-7 shooting + 3 TOs. And this against the mighty defensive frontcourt of Zaza Pachulia and Marvin Williams. Got pulled in the early third so we could go with a mighty mini Corliss/Ron frontline, which seems ridiculous on its face, but on this night, who cared. Maybe my theme on the night should have been things that suck.

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LITUYA BAY MEGATSUNAMI -- I've always been somewhat fascinated by tsunamis. Earthquakes feel weird, hurricanes are primal, but they are very diffuse. But of the disasters, for me at least, only the tornado approaches the awesome spectacle of a big tsuami. Well this puppy was a BIG tsunami. The biggest we have knowledge of, and by a lot. Caused when an earhquake caused a huge chunk of a mountian to suddenly collpase into the bay, the resulting meagwave wasn't 50ft tall or 100ft tall. It wasn't even 500ft tall. It wiped every tree clean off the surrounding mountainsides to, get this, 1800 feet above the bay. Nearly 2000 feet. For comparison, the Empire State building, with spire, is 1450ft tall. Now if you have ever stood beneath the Empire State Building, and wanted to see a wave come along that towered over even it, this was your chance. Maybe you could get out a "wow!" before finding yourself 2000 ft beneath the sea.

Miller ( INC ) -- Was well on his way to a very bad grade and verbal scolding here as he gave us 2pts 2rebs in the first quarter while annointing Zaza Pachulia back the other way as Brad's newest superhero creation (hey, has anybody considerd that Brad Miller might be the inspiration for the TV show "Heroes", wherein ordinary players suddenly discover they have superpowers when D'd up ferociously by Brad?). But then had to leave the game with those recurring foot problems, and gets the sympathy INC instead.
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APOPHIS -- If I told you that there was a 1 in 10000 chance you would die if you went to work today, would you go? Believe it or not, "Armageddon" could actually be coming, and by the time it does, Bruce Willis is going to need a walker and be too damn old to save us. In the year 2029, a 1000+ft wide asteroid named Apophis is going to buzz us. The problem is that we are not sure exactly how close. It should miss us that year, but if calculations are correct, there is somwhere between a 1 in 10000 and 1 in 45000 chance that it is going to hit a "sweet spot" while passing through, get swung by our gravity, with the result being that its orbit will have changed enough that when it comes tootling on by in 2036, its going to slam right into us. That would be unfortunate. And with our luck, that would be the year the Kings were finally poised to win a championship.

Martin ( C ) -- well Kevin at least gave us a hlaf, which was one half more than pretty much anybody else in the rotation except maybe Ron. Unfortunately he joined the rest of the team in the complete second half collapse. Despite the team;s complete lack of ball movement he actually managed to have a pretty good first half, and a big second quarter where he was scoring with relative ease. Not having much of an imapct, but the only King scoring reliably. Unfortunately took a sip from the ole Kool Aid cup as it was passed around at haltime, and was pretty much not heard from again. Only took a handful of shots, missed them all, and I think ended the game withe same number of points he ended the half with. Gets the grade for looking something like himself for a quarter at least.
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LAKE MISSOULA MEGAFLOOD(S) -- and you might be going Lake Where? Well...it does not exist anymore. But back when it did, ooh boy. Lake Missoula was a giant ice age lake, and I mean GIANT. It is thought to have been as large as one of the great lakes. It squatted over a huge portion of northwestern Montana until about 14000 years ago the world began to warm up. This was rather unfortunate for just about anything living in the Northwestern United States at the time (including many unlucky Native Americans probably). You see, mighty Lake Missoula was essentially created by gigantic glaciers that blocked it off, and formed titanic ice dams walling off entire valleys. Note for the future -- global warming and ice dams do not mix. When the dams started to melt, at some point there they went all at once, and a thousand foot high wall of water went roaring out over the plains scouring everything it passed over, actually creating the badlands and racing hundreds of miles across the Northwest to rush into the sea. And the best part was that it happened again and again and again. Some think as often as 40 times as the world sputtered toward warmign up. The ice dams would reform, water would back up, they would collapse again. Rinse repeat every 50 to 100 years for thousands of years with basically anything dumb enough to move within 1000 miles in danger of getting washed away.
 
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Bibby ( F ) -- you know, I was going to try to analyze this. But why? I mean Mike Bibby just did not show up.
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TRI STATE TORNADO -- the deadliest tornado in U.S. history, and the world record holder for the longest running at over 3 1/2 hours, was a monster F-5 (the maximum rating a tornado can have with windspeeds in excess of 300mph) that killed 695 people and injured over 2000 more while rampaging for an incredible 218 miles across 3 states (Missouri, Illinois, Indiana) on almost exatly this date in 1925 (March 18). It carved a path 3 miles wide in places while wiping out 9 schools, running through 19 communities, and completely destroying 4 of them.

Corliss ( C+ ) -- gave us a little scoring in the first half, although he drew more attention than he normally does, and had some struggles in there. No boards at all. Was really working hard in the third, but lack of size and athleticism held him back. Used his strength effectively at times, but looked horrendously unathletic against thr Hawks' young jumping jacks. Got some hoops in garabgetime. Which is worthy of respect in that he kept on trying. But not so worthy of a grade when you are a 12 yr vet with a champinship ring padding your stats against scrubs. Lack of boardwork and ability to compete up high was especially glaring on a night when Kenny, Brad AND Reef all had caught the early flight back to Sacto.
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OUCH -- Liked fnordius's picture of this too. So the other asteroid might well cause an major owie -- if it hits us in 2036 it wil carry the force of something like 1,000,000 Hiroshima bombs. Like I say owie. But the dinosaurs...man, the dinosaurs got screwed. The rock that hit them is estimated to have been 6 to 10 miles wide and blew open a 100 mile wide crater in the earth with a force of 100,000,000 megatons. Which is to say roughly 7,500,000,000 Hiroshimas (that would be 7.5 billion, with a "B"). Landed just across the Yucatan from Cancun too (NASA photo of crater), which must have really screwed up some dino-vacations. There are several theories on the exact method of the dinosaurs' demise therafter, but my favorite is one that has been gaining ground in recent years as evidence mounts: so much of the Earth's crust was thrown into the air that as it all rained back down the heat from the rentry of millions of tons of debris was enough to basically bake the planet at hundreds of degrees while starting worldwide wildfires as the vegetation burnt off. Thus it did not take years of choking ash, but was over in the matter of a days as the Earth burned. The only creatures that could survive were creatures that could burrow or hide in the oceans. Everything else was part of a bakeoff.

Cisco ( B- ) -- missed all of his shots, including several of open threes, but provided a needed hustle boost in his first half minutes that briefly had us making a move back up on the Hawks. With Muss having finally lost his last shred of dignity and trying to powerpoint up a way to fit Quincy Douby in at center, Cisco frequently found himself playing something akin to the PF for us, and to his credit he went to the glass better than any our actual bigs did. Unfortunately looked like he may have tweaked something in his garabgetime minutes.
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KRAKATOA -- I had several possible choices for volcanoes here, but Krakatoa is just fun. Well..."fun" in a killed untold thousands of people in hellish judgment day fashion kind of way. Even the name "Krakatoa" just sounds primal. And boy was it. Part of the mega-chain of Indonesian volcanoes, Krakatoa is thought to have lain dormant for 500,000 years until springing to life/death in August of 1883. In the space of 24 hours the entire island simply exploded and was wiped from the map and shot 7 miles into the sky. The series of explosions was the loudest sound in recorded history, and could be clearly heard in Australia. The explosion was so massive that sound waves traveled around the globe 7 times, and people on the other side of the planet in Texas reported hearing what they thought was cannon fire. An area 150 miles in diameter was thrown into pitch blackness and the pyroclastic cloud form the eruption raced right across the ocean, bouyed by steam as it boiled the ocean, and incinerated villages 30 miles away. And then the waves came, and giant walls of water 120 feet tall wiped out towns and villages 10 miles inland. Like I say, fun. Great part is the picture I have included there is of Anak Krakatoa, which means "child of Krakatoa". You see, after blowing 2/3 of the island off of the map and leaving only steaming ocean, the volcano is back and building a new island at an astounding rate right out of the ruins of the old one. More "fun" coming one day.

Salmons ( C- ) -- back the other way this time for John, gave very little before half statistically, but may have helped just by moving the ball. No impact at all in the 3rd. Kept trying to get to the hoop, but minimally effective. Was met on one notable ovccasion by Josh Smith, who just smushed him.
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YELLOWSTONE SUPERVOLCANO -- And see, using the mighty Krakatoa sets this up all the better, because Krakatoa was just a firecracker compared to what lurks in one of our greatest national parks. You know all those geysers, bubbling mud pits, and other nifty stuff at Yellowstone? Well there is a reason for that. When you go to Yellowstone National Park you are unknowingly standing in the middle of a titanic volcanic caldera. Volcanos are of course big, big ole mountians and we marvel when we see a caldera a mile across capable of unleashing mother nature's fury. Well that's nothing. The Yellowstone supervolcano has a caldera (basically the "mouth" of the volcano) FIFTY MILES across. And it blew 2 million years ago, 1.3 million years ago, and again 640,000 years ago. Which if you count the intervals puts us in a rather interesting position. Because when it blows it will make every other great disaster to befall mankind look like nothing. Every earthquake, hurricane, tornado, volcano, throw 'em all together and they still won't match this. The last one 640,000 years ago poured out 240 cubic MILES of lava. It would have been emitting 100 million cubic yards of material per second. If it ever blows there will be no more Wyoming. Or Montana. Or Idaho. In fact most of North America will be a "kill zone" as fire and ash smother the landscape. Everything will die, including us, and half of the continent will become basically unhabitable for decades. Global temperatures will plummet as the sun is blotted out, and it may well trigger another ice age. The largest supervolcanic eruptions on record could even be an extinction level event. As in our extinction. Would solve global warming though.
 
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Price ( B ) -- brought in for the first time in the third quarter as Muss searched for energy. Had little or no impact while it mattered, but pushed the pace and raced around in the 4th once the game was long over. Had a spectacular alley oop in the final minutes courtesy of Quincy Douby -- whether you lasted long enough to see it or not is a good test of your pain tolerance level.
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THE LA PALMA TSUNAMI -- this one has not happened yet, and the debate rages over whether it will. But if it does... You see over in the Canary Islands off the North African coast there is a cute island called La Palma. Well, its actually not so much of a cute little island as a cute little volcano rising up out of the ocean. In fact it is the steepest island in the world. Adn this island has a little problem. You see said cute little volcano is splitting in two, with half of it threatening to collapse into the ocean to produce a colossal splash ala the Alaskan mega-tsunami, only much larger. The debate isn't about whether its going to collapse -- indeed there are already giant fissures in its flanks -- but about whether it will go all at once and create a disaster of epic proportions, or whether it will go in pieces. But if it goes all at once thsi is what happens: an almost unimaginable dome of water 3000 feet tall and 10 miles across surges into the air. When it collapses it shoots a 300ft tall wall of water rushing out into the Atlantic at 500mph. EVERYTHING on every coast it hits is annihilated, washed away. Even after crossing the entire Atlantic, which will take it some 8-9 hours, the wave slams into Florida, Brazil, Virginia, New York at over 100 feet high. Crap like this is why smart coastal living people like me live on the 24th floor, although given the kinetic force of such a wave it would likely splash right over my building and probably knock it down, right into what will suddenly be the middle of the churning ocean.

Williams ( B+ ) -- got in for the first time in the third as Muss ran out of bigs. Started off with a bad attempt at an offensive take against Pachulia. But surged with soem good energy, and had a nice offensive rebound and putback off a missed FT in the 4th. Did exactly what you would want him to do -- hustle, hit the glass, try to be active on defense, and make himself available around the rim on offense. I simply refuse to give anybody any sort of A on this day, but if anybody was going to nudge over that line, it might have been Justin for a nice roleplaying effort, even if it was in garbagetime.
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2004 INDIAN OCEAN TSUNAMI -- and this one is too recent and too immediate for much of anything funny to be said about it. One of the strongest earthquakes on record (est between 9.1 to 9.3) suddenly thrust the sea floor up several meters -- think of the bass on your speakers -- and the resulting massive displacement of water created huge tsunamis which reached 100ft and swept miles inland over thousands of miles of coastline. 230,000 people perished in just a few hours. Quick survival tip: if you happen to be standing on the seashore and the ocean suddenly starts doing funny things, like I don't know, withdrawing out to see hundreds of feet, for the love of Angelina Jolie please think of something better to do than wander out after the water to go look at the pretty coral.

Douby ( D+ ) -- last King on the floor, unable to hit threes from the corner, threw a] nice alley oop to Ronnie Price in the final minutes. Hit absolutely nothing, including the compeltely unnecessary shot at the buzzer. It was garbagetime, but still, this is not the way to earn more minutes. (as I recall you earn those in practice actually)
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1931 YELLOW RIVER FLOOD -- China has always had lots and lots of people. And lots and lots of people require lots and lots of food. And few places are better at producing food than a flood plain where the sporadic flooding drops fresh new fertile soil over the land every once in a while. The problem comes when there are people on that land when it happens, when the river is massive, rises too fast, the flat land it can expand over vast, and there is no warning system. All of the above was true in 1931, and a WHOLE bunch of people died. Estimates range up to 4,000,000, although for the same reason there was no warning (no strong central government, millions of rural peasants with no education or official record) it will never be known exactly how many. Nor was it the first time this had happened -- indeed in 1887, within the lifetimes of some of those who perished later, there had been another great flood that had killed somewhere in the range of a million. And to add insult to injury, or really just more injury to injury, 7 years later in 1938 Chinese forces intentionally unleased yet another mighty flood down the river by blowing up levees in an effort to slow down the advance of Japense forces. Another 1,500,000 to 2,000,000 died in that one. Maybe starvation isn't so bad after all.

Potapenko ( INC ) -- hark, a large land mammal sighting. Maybe I should have saved that extinction fo the dinosaurs one for Pot.
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THE BLACK DEATH -- and when you know something is called "the Black Death" its a bad sign. Well it was. Bad that is. This was the bubonic plague's hour to shine, and boy did it. A 14th century outbreak which started in Asia spread rat to rat until it hit Europe. 75 million people are estimated to have died horrible deaths, and anywhere from 1/3 to 1/2 of the total population of Europe was wiped out in a generation. As a little sidenote, at the time the enlightened European leaders took a look at the awful situation and came to the learned conclusion that the creatures who were causing it were...cats! Of course the cats were just following/eating the rats, and they had misidentified the effect as the cause. And once they started killing off all those nasty plague bearing cats, the rat problem, and plague problem, only got worse and worse.
 
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Muss ( F ) -- ooh, he's really got their attention now. Other than appearing to have completely lost the team, and playing numerous lineups with Corliss at center and either Ron Artest or Cisco as our "PFs", Muss did just fine. Oh, did I mention him throwing the starters back in to begin the 4th quarter with us down 30? Could have almost felt sorry for him as he thrust about looking for anybody with an ounce of pride to play, called numerous timeouts to no appreciable effect etc. After this one I am thinking he may have wanted to sit well away form the emergency exits on the plane lest he suddenly find himself skydiving without a chute. Which come to think of it is kinda what the Kings are doing.
 
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May I suggest Mt. St. Helens? Since it blew just as much. :p
 

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heh. I'll save you some time

Everyone: F-

maybe the bench, but where was that 4th quarter energy earlier? that was just a lack of effort...
 
Honestly I dont think Brick should even dignify any of the starters with a grade.

Williams should get an A for single handedly outperforming our entire frontcourt in 15 minutes.

Price did good too compared to his overpaid, hopefully gone to slack off on another team next season, starting counterpart.
Everyone else...Who cares?
 
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THERA -- see that picture, the giant ring of blue inside the shell of an isalnd? That's a fundamanetally bad sign if you happen to be anywhere near the place when it blows. This is the Aegean volcano they think ended the mighty Minoan civilization circa 1500 B.C. Better yet, there is a popular school of thought that it might be the source of the Atlantis legend -- you see they have ancient documents which suggest that there was a lavish Minoan city on the island in the middle of that giant lagoon. That island of course being basically the lava dome at the heart of volcano when it blew. Oops. In any case, it is generally considered to be the second largest eruption of the historical era, and buried the villages on the far side of the island under 100ft of pumice and ash, and devastated the Minoan heartland on Crete 70 miles to the south. Oh, and BTW, the lava dome/island in the middle of the lagoon is back. No news on if anybody has moved back in yet.

Yep, the Island of Santorini is indeed inhabited.
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Bricklayer, while it is difficult to read the grades these days (although I still do), your additions to the grades thread have been awesome, hilarious, and sometimes both. Thanks for giving us something to look forward to after each loss...err, I mean game.
 
Bibby ( F ) -- you know, I was going to try to analyze this. But why? I mean Mike Bibby just did not show up.

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TRI STATE TORNADO -- the deadliest tornado in U.S. history, and the world record holder for the longest running at over 3 1/2 hours, was a monster F-5 (the maximum rating a tornado can have with windspeeds in excess of 300mph) that killed 695 people and injured over 2000 more while rampaging for an incredible 218 miles across 3 states (Missouri, Illinois, Indiana) on almost exatly this date in 1925 (March 18). It carved a path 3 miles wide in places while wiping out 9 schools, running through 19 communities, and completely destroying 4 of them.

Brick, I love this thread (I had no idea about that tornadoe), but I really think that it would have been more appropriate for the aftermath of the recent trade deadline.
 
Yep, the Island of Santorini is indeed inhabited.
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I've been there, when I toured Europe. It's absolutely beautiful. You can rent scooters for about 8 dollars a day a zoom all around. The land, the beaches, the hills, the sunsets, the water, it's a nice place. The official name for this kind of land formation is "Caldera" and there are only two in the world, this one, and one I believe in Korea.

I recommend it.
 
I've been there, when I toured Europe. It's absolutely beautiful. You can rent scooters for about 8 dollars a day a zoom all around. The land, the beaches, the hills, the sunsets, the water, it's a nice place. The official name for this kind of land formation is "Caldera" and there are only two in the world, this one, and one I believe in Korea.

I recommend it.

Kilauea in Hawaii is also a caldera but it's a little different.

What's scary is that Yellowstone used to be a caldera and was the largest ever. When it exploded it covered the entirety of North America with more than 2 meters of ash. It was so powerful that it literally blew itself up and created a large dent in the ground where the caldera once stood.

There are extinct caldera formations elsewhere in the world (mainly on small islands, I know there's one in the Canary Islands)

Anyway, back to bball - sorry to see your Kings lose. But hey, maybe that draft position will improve.
 
Kilauea in Hawaii is also a caldera but it's a little different.

What's scary is that Yellowstone used to be a caldera and was the largest ever. When it exploded it covered the entirety of North America with more than 2 meters of ash. It was so powerful that it literally blew itself up and created a large dent in the ground where the caldera once stood.

There are extinct caldera formations elsewhere in the world (mainly on small islands, I know there's one in the Canary Islands)

Anyway, back to bball - sorry to see your Kings lose. But hey, maybe that draft position will improve.


Any idea if yellowstone blows up again?:eek:
 
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What's scary is that Yellowstone used to be a caldera and was the largest ever. When it exploded it covered the entirety of North America with more than 2 meters of ash. It was so powerful that it literally blew itself up and created a large dent in the ground where the caldera once stood.

Not just that, but it has been swelling again.

http://volcanoes.usgs.gov/yvo/2006/uplift.html

A summary of our findings

  • The Yellowstone caldera appears to be in a constant state of movement and with new monitoring techniques we were able to observe uplift in the northern part of the Yellowstone Caldera, in a region where it had not been previously recorded.
  • The uplift began in late 1997 or early 1998 and ended in late 2002 or early 2003. The total uplift during this time was approximately 125 mm (a little under 5 inches).
  • The uplift was likely due to movement of fluid beneath the northern part of the Yellowstone caldera. The fluid may have been magma, hot water or gas and the source was likely shallower than about 15 km (approximately 9 miles).
  • The increased thermal activity at the Norris Geyser Basin, observed in 2003, may be partly related to the uplift detected by InSAR and GPS. Whatever caused the uplift may have also affected the pressure of deep fluids or the permeability of the rocks near Norris.
  • Currently, deformation has returned to the central caldera, with a maximum of about 8 cm of uplift recorded over the past year.
Page Last Modified: Wednesday, December 20, 2006 (dyv)
 
Just thought I'd throw in the fact that we have a super-volcano in our backyard. On the South East side of California, directly below the town of Mammoth Mountain, sits Long Valley Caldera, which has produced V.E.I. 7 eruptions (at least 100 times as large as Mt. St. Helens) in the past. 760,000 years ago, in the event which created the Bishop Tuff, it erupted over 600 cubic kilometers of material, mostly in the form of pyroclastic flows (Glowing Avalanches.) The real killer with these types of eruptions is that they eject so much material into the atmosphere that they cause natural nuclear winters, and would have devastating effects on the world’s crops, causing global starvation.
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Other than appearing to have completely lost the team, and playing numerous lineups with Corliss at center and either Ron Artest or Cisco as our "PFs", Muss did just fine.

Didn't get to see the game, but with Miller and Thomas hurt, and SAR completely ineffective, what other options did he really have?
 
This was my favorite theme yet. Great mention of the ice dams - The Columbia River Gorge at the border of Oregon and Washington came from those also.

I'm a geologist and I hadn't heard of a few of those disasters. Loved the Krakatoa reference.

I don't buy the supervolcano under yellowstone though. The evidence I've seen for it wasn't very convincing. I think its more likely to be a "hot spot" (like what's in Hawaii) type volcano. Hot Spots are a weak spot in the Mantle, where mantle material upwells, bringing Basalt and high temperatures. In Hawaii, the crust above the hot spot is thin, so lava comes up, making volcanoes. In yellowstone, the thick layer of continental crust limits the effect, though The basalt that makes up the Snake River Plain (Idaho and Eastern Washington/Oregon) likely came from the Yellowstone source.

Calderas are the depression at the top of volcanoes, and occur for hot spot volcanoes. I don't buy the "supervolcano" part, because explosive eruptions (pyroclastic clouds) are the domain of volcanoes with Andesitic or Dacitic compositions, like Krakatoa and Mt. St. Helens, not volcanoes with a source magma of basalt, which creates smoother flows. No doubt that there is a large volcanic complex at Yellowstone, but I'm not buying its an eruption hazard.

Regardless, THis was a super duper theme list, and totally appropriate for the hawks game. Thanks again.
 
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