chaps
G-League
I'm the new Kings coach.
It's true, the Maloofs called me and I said id do it for free.
TO DO LIST:Things I will emphasize/encourage as your new Kings coach
1)A defensive-minded big will not be needed/welcomed. Shotblockers only get you in foul trouble.
2)Our offense will be very simple. Mike brings the ball up, fires a 3 or dishes the ball to someone that will shoot a 3.(Not more than 1 pass per posession... more passes increases a team's chances of turning the ball over).
3)ALL of our offensive plays will rely on shooting spot up 3s. No need to pass it or score down low. it's Shooting weak a** jump shots or your a** will be benched. None of that fancy low-post scoring crap.
4)Defense will not be mandatory. The more energy you waste on D, the more likely you are to miss your jumpshots on offense.
5)Ron Artest is our new starting Center.
6)We will run isolation plays for Brad Miller on the perimeter against quicker defenders.
7)Kevin Martin wasn't supposed to improve that quickly, his a** will be benched.
8)Mike Bibby will be put against the other team's top offensive talent in "Bruce Bowen" like stuations.
9)There will be no more cowbells at Arco, they hurt my ears.
10)I would ask the fans to stop cheering so loudly for your precious Kings, it hurts the players concentration to shoot the ball when all of you are being so loud.
11)I will constantly scream at Ron Artest and Bonzi Wells for no valuable reason, not to motivate them in order to improve them for their own good or the team's, but just because I can.
12) Finally, the HOME white jerseys and the PURPLE road jerseys will both be banned. The gold/mustard uniforms will be worn for all pre-season and regular season games. I did not include the playoffs because realistically, there is no F-ing way we are making the playoffs the way i'm gonna coach this team.
I sincerely hope you guys are in favor of me being your new coach. I wish everyone here a great 2006-2007 season.
Coach Chaps
It's true, the Maloofs called me and I said id do it for free.
TO DO LIST:Things I will emphasize/encourage as your new Kings coach
1)A defensive-minded big will not be needed/welcomed. Shotblockers only get you in foul trouble.
2)Our offense will be very simple. Mike brings the ball up, fires a 3 or dishes the ball to someone that will shoot a 3.(Not more than 1 pass per posession... more passes increases a team's chances of turning the ball over).
3)ALL of our offensive plays will rely on shooting spot up 3s. No need to pass it or score down low. it's Shooting weak a** jump shots or your a** will be benched. None of that fancy low-post scoring crap.
4)Defense will not be mandatory. The more energy you waste on D, the more likely you are to miss your jumpshots on offense.
5)Ron Artest is our new starting Center.
6)We will run isolation plays for Brad Miller on the perimeter against quicker defenders.
7)Kevin Martin wasn't supposed to improve that quickly, his a** will be benched.
8)Mike Bibby will be put against the other team's top offensive talent in "Bruce Bowen" like stuations.
9)There will be no more cowbells at Arco, they hurt my ears.
10)I would ask the fans to stop cheering so loudly for your precious Kings, it hurts the players concentration to shoot the ball when all of you are being so loud.
11)I will constantly scream at Ron Artest and Bonzi Wells for no valuable reason, not to motivate them in order to improve them for their own good or the team's, but just because I can.
12) Finally, the HOME white jerseys and the PURPLE road jerseys will both be banned. The gold/mustard uniforms will be worn for all pre-season and regular season games. I did not include the playoffs because realistically, there is no F-ing way we are making the playoffs the way i'm gonna coach this team.
I sincerely hope you guys are in favor of me being your new coach. I wish everyone here a great 2006-2007 season.
Coach Chaps
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(although I loved the Reggie Miller choking one, too)
