Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed

SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#1
#1
We as Kings fans have suffered through possibly the worst season of the Sacramento era.

To celebrate, I think being deserted on an island with 15 ]people/things/food/whatever that you cannot stand would be an appropriate way to have some fun.

You will be eternally on the island with whatever/whoever you pick for eternity.

Feel the pain?

Rules:

1: You must pick at least one food item, and one drink. You are on the island for eternity, you need your food and drink.

2: Nothing is exempt. You can pick people, things, movies, anything. If it is horrible, it is draftable.
2a: EDIT: 'Verbs' are not available. Getting stabbed with a rusty knife does indeed suck, but it does not let you live...As does being beat, cut, bludgeoned, etc. etc.
The point is to live on the misery island for the rest of eternity.

3: When picking something, it is assumed you have all you need to watch it.
I.e. - If I draft Sacramento Kings: The Complete 08/09 Season on DVD, it is to be assumed there is a TV on your island to watch said movie.

4: READ HERE, new rules added 6/13.

Feel free to make any suggestions to further expand the rules!
:)

And, since I work at a school, Im on summer vacation. I will be a better commissioner this go-round.


Let's make this fun, and let the PAIN and MISERY commence!!!

The Draft Order!

1. D-Mass
2. Vikinginferno
3. Larry89
4. Warhawk
5. EndGame
6. Jespher
7. NoBonus
8. BrickLayer
9. jalfa
10. SLAB
11. MassachusettsKingsFan
12. kingsnation (((For GeraldWallace#3 -forfeited participation)))
 
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SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#2
#2
D-Mass
1: Loa Loa --- African Eye Worm
2: Constant Food Poisoning
3: Constant Migraine
4: Lutefisk (Food)
5: Infestation of Mosquitos
6: Chicha (Drink)
7: Barney
8: Vampire Bats
9: Decaf Coffee
10: My Alarm Clock
11: Gum
12: Big Dogs
13: Country Music
14: Heights
15: Noise Making Toys

Vikinginferno
1: Rosie O'Donnel
2: Locked In Syndrome ((Timed Out: #1))
3: Ox Penis (Food)
4: Adolf Hitler
5: Religious People Who Try to Convert Others
6: Spiders
7: Perez Hilton
8: School
9: Taxes
10: Blood instead of Water (Drink)
11: Queasyness
12: The Cold
13: Being Nagged
14: The Fear of Death
15: Public Restrooms

Larry89
1: Durian Fruit (Food)
2: Millions of 'Siafu' --- The African Driver Ant
3: Massive Hangover
4: Giant Locust Swarms
5: Randomly Frequent Occurring Earthquakes above Magnitudes of 7
6: Hired Mafia Hitmen Coming to Kill
7: Periodic,Often Happening Moments of Blindness and Deafness Randomly Occuring throughout my day. ((Timed Out: #1))
8: Baby Mice Wine (Drink)
9: Living on Island With Rick Fox
10: Nightmares
11: Randomly Often Occuring Moments of Shellshock
12: Loss of Short Term Memory
13: Randomly Often Occurring Interviews by Angela Tsai
14: Bad Gas
15: William Hung Contionually Singing 24/7 right next to me

Warhawk
1: Annoying Laker Fans
2: Constant Category 5 Hurricanes Beating the Island
3: Persistant Cluster Headaches
4: Jar-Jar Binks
5: Escamoles (Food)
6: Common "Drinking" Water From Mexico with Perpetual Montezuma's Revenge (Drink)
7: The Torture Rack
8: Poison Ivy - Along with All Allergic Reactions
9: Tom Cruise
10: Canker Sores
11: Slivers Under Fingernails and Toenails
12: Skunks: Being Sprayed By...
13: Rioting Laker Fans repeatedly pour rubbing alcohol on all my wounds
14: Chemotherapy
15:Footage of Jack Nicholson acting like a total a** at his courtside seat over the years at Lakers games (interspersed with other celebreties wearing Laker gear and smiling at the camera).
 
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SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#3
#3
EndGame
1: Nazis
2: Perpetual Diarrhea ((Timed Out: #1))
3: The French ((Timed Out: #2))
4: Billions of Red Fire Ants
5: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
6: Spencer Pratt
7: A Loved One Dies Each Day
8: No Shoes and Countless Piles of Dog Poop
9: Millions of the Brown Recluse Spider
10: Personal Bully For Everyone On the Island
11: Bat Soup (Food) Timed Out: #3
12: Every person on island turns EVERYTHING said into a Political Argument
13: Constant Feeling of Having to Pee Badly
14: Cup of Pus (Drink)
15: Complete Erectile Dysfunction

Jespher
1: Cthulhu - Lord of Extreme Horror and Evil
2: Inescapable solitary confinement in a 4'x4'x4' steel subterranean box (Catacomb style prison).
3: Flowing Pool of Raw Sewage (Food & Drink)
4: Randomly Triggered Psychedelic Crises along with Painful Seizures/Spasms/Involuntary Muscle Contractions
5: Family and Friends Sharing my Fate (In Similar Cells)
6: Fibromyalgia
7: Constantly Falling Down Moving Escalator Stairs
8: Weekly Flooding with Jellyfish Infested Water
9: Schizophrenia
10: Guilt
11: Eternal Priapism
12: Full Body Chemical Burn
13: Excruciating Peptic Ulcers
14: Random Daily Medical Procedures
15: Rape

NoBonus
1: Entire Island Coated in Hot Asphalt
2: Thousands of Obese Elderly Nudists
3: Civil War Battletent Hospital
4: Unlimited Amount of Meth available for all Island Inhabitants
5: The Macarena
6: Personal Responsibility For Everything On the Island
7: Island Floating in a Lake of Hot Lava
8: 2 Part Episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Arnold gets Molested to be Played 3 Times a Day
9: Pink Cotton Candy (Food)
10: Warm A&W Creme Soda (Drink)
11: Never Ending Religious War Timed Out: #1
12: A Billion Scutigera Coleoptrata, AKA House Centipedes.
13: Being Nude
14: Windows ME with no service packs
15: Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Bricklayer
1: Eternal Throbbing Toothache
2: Japanese Giant Hornets
3: Rush Limbaugh
4: Roseanne Barr
5: Eternally Ruptured Disk Pressing Upon My Sciatic Nerve And Causing Back Spasms
6: Eternal David Hasselhoff Serenade
7: Frequent Chuck Norris Ambushes
8: Nails on a Chalkboard
9: Cannibalism (Food)
10: Castrated
11: 100% Humidity
12: Paris Hilton & Stupid Little Dog
13: 'That' Itch
14: Leprosy
15: Roseanne Barr's Breast Milk (Drink)
 
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SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#4
#4
jalfa
1: Balut --- Fertilized Edible/Near Mature Duck Egg (Food)
2: Crohn's Disease
3: Josef Mengele
4: Great Pacific Garbage Patch
5: Big Brother Government
6: Insomnia
7: Sisyphean Task
8: Choices of Life and Death
9: A bunch of drunken football hooligans harassing me all the time
10: The Hills --- Only show on TV
11: Marquis De Sade
12: 16 Million Reserve (Drink)
13: Slug Infestation
14: Having friends of mine planted around me as IM
15: Child Pornography

SLAB
1: Kobe Bryant
2: Casu Marzu --- Italian Maggot Cheese (Food)
3: Constant Extreme Desert Weather
4: Millions and Millions of The Bullet Ant
5: Screw Worm Infestation
6: Hot Lumpy Expired Sour Milk (Drink)
7: Richard Simmons
8: Al Davis: Ultimate Overseer/Ruler
9: Constant Horrible Case of Sunburn
10: Sleep Paralysis
11: The Black Hole (Raiders Fans)
12: Carrot Top ((Timed Out: #1))
13: Night Terrors ((Timed Out: #2))
14: Goatheads
15: A Live Studio Audience that Thinks My Misery is the Funniest Thing Ever.

MassachusettsKingsFan
1: The Fourth Quarter of Game 6, Western Conference Finals, 2002 --- The Only Thing on Every TV
2: Gilbert Gottfried
3: Blizzard/Frost/Ice/Frostbite
4: Human Urine (Drink)
5: Constant 'Funny Bone' Pain ((Timed Out: #1))
6: Stephan A. Smith
7: Raw Octopus - Acquired Only After Hunting and Catching it (Food)
8: Constant Ripping Out of Hair
9: Frequent Beatings by UFC HW Champ Brock Lesnar
10: Severely Sprained Ankles
11: King Cobras
12: Bees
13: Big Thorns Throughout Island ((Timed Out: #2))
14: Frequently Occurring Pointless Surgery
15: The New York Yankees

kingsnation (Originally GeraldWallace#3, Picks 1-6)
1: Very Tiny Island
2: LOUD High Pitched Noise --- At All Times
3: Constant 8mm Kidney Stones
4: Small Locked Hot Sauna
5: Amputated Arms & Legs ((Timed Out: #1))
6: Dozens of Dead Bodies in my Tiny Sauna
7: Constant Feelings of Lonliness
8: Rat Infestation
9: Constant Feeling of Hopelessness
10: Constant Case of Hiccups
11: Haggis (Food)
12: Placenta 400000 (Drink)
13: Shaq Rapping About My Misery
14: The Flu and All Accompanying Symptoms
15: The Telletubbies
 
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SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#9
#9
I shortened it, for now.

We'll see how many people join, what the interest level is, and if it's popular enough, I can bump it up.

15 is probably the happy median between overkill, and just scratching the surface.

EDIT: Im upping it to 15, and it will remain there unless there is a massive outcry.
 
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SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#13
#13
Gonna go with nouns for now.

Verbs could be interesting, but their are probably some verbs that would cause some confusion for voters.

Like if I choose "Hopping" and "Sprinting" what would the guidelines be when those verbs actually happened?
 
SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#16
#16
This is filling up pretty quickly.
I like it!

Get your name in, because this is going to be capped at 12/14 people.
 
Jespher

Jespher

Starter
#17
#17
SLAB said:
Gonna go with nouns for now.

Verbs could be interesting, but their are probably some verbs that would cause some confusion for voters.

Like if I choose "Hopping" and "Sprinting" what would the guidelines be when those verbs actually happened?
Click to expand...
I'm a bit confused. You say in the 2nd rule that nothing is exempt as long as it is horrible.
2: Nothing is exempt. You can pick people, things, movies, anything. If it is horrible, it is draftable.
Click to expand...
Couldn't some verbs be horrible (Vomitting/Getting stabbed with blunt objects, etc.)? You might want to specify those rules...
 
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Jespher

Jespher

Starter
#18
#18
SLAB said:
This is filling up pretty quickly.
I like it!

Get your name in, because this is going to be capped at 12/14 people.
Click to expand...
16 has been the TDOS norm so far, as it makes playoffs much easier (16>>>8>>>4>>>2>>>1). The 1st round byes were only for drafts with limited interest. You're the coordinator though, so do what you will:).
 
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vikinginferno

vikinginferno

Starter
#19
#19
It's best just to let everyone who wants to play, play and figure out how the playoffs will work later. It's no fun when some people are left out and others have to join to fill up the draft when they don't really want to do it.
 
SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#20
#20
Okay, Im limiting this at 10 or 12 (12 is now the MAX in this draft) people based on how many more sign up, and verbs are now 100% disqualified.

Yes, being stabbed in the stomach with a rusty knife sucks. As does being bludgeoned with a cudgel, but those don't let you live.

The point is to LIVE on this terrible island of misery. An island of getting stabbed, butchered, bludgeoned, cut, and beat is going to win over an island of lima beans, terrible movies, and an abrasive person.

Verbs are out.
It's an island of 'terrible nouns'
 
SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#24
#24
Let's get one more person, then we can begin right after the Dream Team Finals ends.

Im ready for this one.
Should be interesting.
 
kennadog

kennadog

Dog On It!
#26
#26
Well this one should be entertaining. I decided not to volunteer, becasue it's too easy for me to focus on the negative and get depressed as it is. :p
 
Bricklayer

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
#28
#28
kennadog said:
Well this one should be entertaining. I decided not to volunteer, becasue it's too easy for me to focus on the negative and get depressed as it is. :p
Click to expand...

I don't do too much hate actually, especially on inanimate objects, celebs etc. Pointless, and normally shows a certian amount of narrowmindedness. So this draft was largely anathema for me, but I hit upon an amusing mental picture that should make this doable.
 
SLAB

SLAB

Hall of Famer
#29
#29
Nice to have you aboard Brick! Im quite interested to see what you have mapped out...Should be pretty good!

And this draft will officially begin once the Dream Team Finals end, so signups are closed and now we're playing the waiting game.
 
kennadog

kennadog

Dog On It!
#30
#30
Bricklayer said:
I don't do too much hate actually, especially on inanimate objects, celebs etc. Pointless, and normally shows a certian amount of narrowmindedness. So this draft was largely anathema for me, but I hit upon an amusing mental picture that should make this doable.
Click to expand...
I don't waste much "hate" on that either. Well.....I do "hate" brussels sprouts. :p
 
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