Beth: Calvin? Why are you crying? Can I, uh … can I get you something?
Cal: I don't...
Beth: What did you say? Calvin, what did you say? Tell me!
Cal: You are beautiful. And you are unpredictable. But you're so cautious. You're
determined, Beth; but you know something? You're not strong. And I don't know if you're really giving. Tell me something. Do you love me? You
really love me?
Beth: I feel the way I've always felt about you.
Cal: [pause] We would have been alright, if there hadn't been any mess. But you can't handle mess. You need everything neat and easy. I don't know, maybe you can't love anybody. It was so much Buck. When Buck died, it was as if you buried all your love with him, and I don't understand that, I just don't know, I don't... maybe it wasn't even Buck; maybe it was just you. Maybe, finally, it was the best of
you that you buried. But, whatever it was... I don't know who you are. And I don't know what we've been playing at. So I was crying. Because I don't know if I love you anymore. And I don't know what I'm going to do without that.
Dr. Berger: Now. You can live with that. Can't you?
Conrad: I'm so scared! I'm scared.
Dr. Berger: Feelings are scary. And sometimes they're painful. And if you can't feel pain, then you're not going to feel anything else, either. You know what I'm saying?
Conrad: I think so.
Dr. Berger: You're here, and you're alive. And don't tell me you don't feel that.
Conrad: It doesn't feel good.
Dr. Berger: It is good. Believe me.
Conrad: How do you know?
Dr. Berger: Because I'm your friend.
Dr. Berger: A little advice about feelings kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle.
Conrad: Anyway.
Jeannine: Hm, what?
Conrad: Oh just anyway. It's a conversation starter.
Jeannine: Hm, catchy.
Conrad: I knew you'd like it, I've been working on it all day.
Cal: What I'm … gonna say … will sound strange.
Beth: What happened? Come inside.
Cal: Could we talk about Buck's funeral?
Beth: Whaaaat?
Cal: It'll seem trivial. But, it's on my mind and I'd like to talk about it. When I was getting dressed for Buck's funeral …
Beth: Calvin, what's the matter with you?
Cal: Just let me get it off my chest,OK?
Beth: What could getting dressed for Buck's funeral … have to do with anything, right now?
Cal: I was wearing a blue shirt. You said, "wear a white shirt and the other shoes." It was nothing at the time, but, it seemed to stay with me. And I, for some reason, had been thinking about it and it suddenly occurred to me, what difference did it make what I wore to Buck's funeral?
Beth: Uh, huh.
Cal: Just hear me out, Beth, it won't hurt you to listen!
Beth: I won't listen to that. No one in their right mind would listen to that!
Cal: I just want to talk about something I always remembered.
Beth: Why do you want to remind me?
Cal: Because I've always wondered, in some needling way, what it mattered what I wore. I was crazy that day. We were going to our son's funeral and you were worried about what I wore on my feet. I'm sure it sounds like nothing to you, but it stuck with me and I just wanted … to tell you about it.
Calvin: No don't do that to yourself! Somethings things happen in this world people don't always have the answers for them you know! I don't know what I'm yelling at you for.
Conrad: No that's good! Haul my ass sometimes! You know, the way you used to for him!
Calvin: Oh he needed it! You were always so hard on yourself, I never had the heart.
Conrad: Oh Dad, don't.
Calvin: No it's the truth!
Jeannine: Can you ever break the ball?
Conrad: You can't break the ball. Can't break the floor. Can't break anything in a bowling alley. And that's what I like about bowling alleys. Can't even break the record.
Beth: It's really important to try and hurt me isn't it?
Conrad: Don't you have that backwards?
Beth: Oh, and how do I hurt you? By embarrassing you in front of a friend? "Poor Beth, she has no idea what her son is up to, he lies and she believes every word of it."
Conrad: I didn't lie!
Beth: You did! You lied every time you came into this house at 6.30! If its starting all over again, the lying, the covering up, the disappearing for hours, I won't stand for it, I can't stand for it, I really can't!
Conrad: Well don't then! Go to Europe!
Calvin: Connie!
Conrad: No! The only reason she cares, the only reason she gives a **** about it is because someone else knew about it first!
Calvin: Just stop it Connie!
Conrad: No! You tell her to stop it! You never tell her a goddamn thing! And I know why she never came to the hospital because she was too busy going to goddamn Spain and goddamn Portugal! Why should she care if I'm hung up by the balls out there!
Beth: Maybe this is how they sit around and talk at the hospital, but we're not at the hospital.
Conrad: You never came to the hospital! How do you know about the hospital!
Calvin: Connie! Your mother did come to the hospital, you know she did, she had the flu and couldn't come inside but she came to the hospital!
Conrad: She never would have had any flu if Buck was in the hospital, she would have come if Buck was in the hospital!
Beth: Buck never would have been in the hospital!
Calvin: I should have gotten a handle on it somehow.
Conrad: You know I used to think you had a handle for everything. I really admire you for that sometimes.
Calvin: Well, don't admire people too much. They'll disappoint you sometimes.
Conrad: I'm not disappointed. I love you.
Calvin: I love you too.
Jeannine: Conrad, I'm not a very good bowler, what I mean is, I'm a funny bowler.
Conrad: Oh, well we don't have to go bowling if you'd rather not. How funny are ya?
Jeannine: On a scale of one to ten... about a ten.
Conrad: Oh... yeah, that's pretty funny.
Calvin: He just wants to know that you don't hate him.
Beth: Hate him! How could I hate him? Mothers don't hate their sons! Is that what he told you? You see how you believe everything he tells you? And you can't do the same for me, you can't! GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYONE WANTS FROM ME ANYMORE!
Ward: Beth, we don't want anything from you; Audrey, Cal, Connie and Me, we just want you to be happy.
Beth: Happy! Ward, you tell me the definition of happy. But first you better make sure your kids are good and safe, that they haven't fallen of a horse, been hit by a car, or drown in that swimming pool you're so proud of!
Audrey: Oh Beth!
Beth: Then, you come and tell me how to be happy!
Karen: Conrad. Let's have a great Christmas. Let's have … a great year. Let's have the best year of our whole lives. We can, you know … this could be the best one ever..