Oh My!

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#1
Breaking News:

SHAQ NOT HAPPY, July 27, 2005

Miami: Miami Heat superstar Shaquille O'Neal announced today that he is upset with the stagnating contract negotiations with his team. In an unexpected turn of events the superstar is threatening to walk away as a free-agent and sign for the mid-level exception with what he calls a “true contender.” He stated, “money ain’t a thing for me. I am so rich already; all I want is rings and respect, which I am not getting from Pat.”


His agent, reached by telephone, stated that Shaquille if he were to walk would most likely go to a Western Conference power house like the Mavericks or the Kings, both teams in desperate need for size.



O’Neal, considered to be the most dominant force in the NBA, though slowing a bit due to age, could surely be the missing piece to a contending squad. O’Neal stated, in his press release, “I want to make sure that Tim Duncan or Ben Wallace does not get another ring, so that I can reestablish myself as the best big man in the game.”



Pat Riley could not be reached for comment, but surely he is shocked by O’Neal’s threatening statements. If he were to walk, it would deal a terrible blow to one of the most promising teams in Miami basketball history.



Dwayne Wade, reached by telephone, said that he “really wants Shaq to stay” but he added “a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” He further stated, “if they can’t keep Shaq, I will really think about the commitment this team has to winning.”



Heat Coach Stan Van Gundy reached by phone at his vacation home in Illinois, stated that “as long as I am the coach, I will continue to want Shaq here” but he went on to mention that “as long as I am still the coach, I will do my best with whatever team Pat puts on the floor” but he also said “life without Shaq would be difficult.”



Kings Vice President of Basketball Operations, Geoff Petrie, reached on his cell phone, stated that the prospect was “interesting.” He would not comment further. Likewise, Kings owner Gavin Maloof stated, “I really want Shaq, really, really bad.”



The next few days will be very busy for Pat Riley, as he tries to appease his franchise’s cornerstone, keeping them in championship contention.
 
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ONEZERO

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#2
please tell me this aint a joke... that would be the greatest thing to ever happen to the kings.
 
#9
Its also funny to me that someone who is just copying and pasting a story from a source would have to edit their post. Shaq to the kings would be a dream though how cruel this thread is.
 
#10
Spelling/Grammar, whatever:

O'Neal vs. O'Neil
dominant vs. dominate
"both teams is desperate need for size"

And I didn't even read the "article".
 
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ONEZERO

Guest
#11
Kingscast23 said:
Its also funny to me that someone who is just copying and pasting a story from a source would have to edit their post. Shaq to the kings would be a dream though how cruel this thread is.

Last edited by English : Today at 01:21 PM.

hahahahahahahhaha.... i know
 
#12
English said:
Breaking News:

SHAQ NOT HAPPY, July 27, 2005

Miami: Miami Heat superstar Shaquille O'Neal announced today that he is upset with the stagnating contract negotiations with his team. In an unexpected turn of events the superstar is threatening to walk away as a free-agent and sign for the mid-level exception with what he calls a “true contender.” He stated, “money ain’t a thing for me. I am so rich already; all I want is rings and respect, which I am not getting from Pat.”


His agent, reached by telephone, stated that Shaquille if he were to walk would most likely go to a Western Conference power house like the Mavericks or the Kings, both teams is desperate need for size.



O’Neil, considered to be the most dominate force in the NBA, though slowing a bit due to age, could surely be the missing piece to a contending squad. O’Neil stated, in his press release, “I want to make sure that Tim Duncan or Ben Wallace does not get another ring, so that I can reestablish myself as the best big man in the game.”



Pat Riley could not be reached for comment, but surely he is shocked by O’Neil’s threatening statements. If he were to walk, it would deal a terrible blow to one of the most promising teams in Miami basketball history.



Dwayne Wade, reached by telephone, said that he “really wants Shaq to stay” but he added “a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” He further stated, “if they can’t keep Shaq, I will really think about the commitment this team has to winning.”



Heat Coach Stan Van Gundy reached by phone at his vacation home in Illinois, stated that “as long as I am the coach, I will continue to want Shaq here” but he went on to mention that “as long as I am still the coach, I will do my best with whatever team Pat puts on the floor” but he also said “life without Shaq would be difficult.”



Kings Vice President of Basketball Operations, Geoff Petrie, reached on his cell phone, stated that the prospect was “interesting.” He would not comment further. Likewise, Kings owner Gavin Maloof stated, “I really want Shaq, really, really bad.”



The next few days will be very busy for Pat Riley, as he tries to appease his franchise’s cornerstone, keeping them in championship contention.
I'm sure this is not fact. I would go as far to say the person who posted it made it up, which is the same as not true. I would seriously doubt that shaq would come to the kings even if he could. But, its an interesting thing to think about. Where is the source of the article. :confused:
 

hrdboild

Moloch in whom I dream Angels!
Staff member
#18
English said:
Kings Vice President of Basketball Operations, Geoff Petrie, reached on his cell phone, stated that the prospect was “interesting.” He would not comment further. Likewise, Kings owner Gavin Maloof stated, “I really want Shaq, really, really bad.”
Hah Hah! Nice.
 
#19

Sad thing is for a split second the inner child in me wanted it to be true so badly that besides all the warning signs I saw in the post I believed it. I started going over possible offensive scenarios in my head. How ridiculously open Peja and bibby will be at the three point line. We all saw what shaq did for Damon Jones. Imagine Peja with a whole side of the court to set his feet and fire up 3's. It wouldn't even be fair to the opposition...alas the logical me took over and the easter bunny was no more, Santa couldnt possibly fit down a chimney have cookies and milk while delivering presents to the children of the world in 14 hours and Shaq is not coming to the kings for the MLE.
 
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Fillmoe

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#21
soon as i read shaq would like to join a team thats considered a contender i stopped reading.... he is with a contender... MIAMI!
 
#22
How is this "English" guy not banned for all those "your mom" posts, and than this. Not that I believed it for a second, but obviously this guy is an idiot.
 
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thesanityannex

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#24
Bonzi_Wells said:
How is this "English" guy not banned for all those "your mom" posts, and than this. Not that I believed it for a second, but obviously this guy is an idiot.
"your mom doesn't need more new threads" was my favorite of English's quotes.



"your mom goes to college"-Kip Dynamite
 
#28
tyrant said:
so no one cares that he called us the queens?
Sure, but this is how we get our revenge.

We sign Shaq for the MLE, then Adelman gives him multiple DNP-CDs because he's "out of shape," and can't hit his free throws, and he has to sit behind the bench. Adelman keeps saying he has to "find more minutes" for him, but still only uses him in garbage time.
~~
 
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thesanityannex

Guest
#29
Alacron said:
Sure, but this is how we get our revenge.

We sign Shaq for the MLE, then Adelman gives him multiple DNP-CDs because he's "out of shape," and can't hit his free throws, and he has to sit behind the bench. Adelman keeps saying he has to "find more minutes" for him, but still only uses him in garbage time.
~~
Shaq gives himself his own DNP's, Adelman wouldn't have to bench him.
 
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