The "cure all" trade
Since my first attempt at satire didn't go over well, here's some movement that would solve all the Kings problems:
Minnesota trades: PF Kevin Garnett (22.1 ppg, 13.9 rpg, 5.8 apg in 38.8 minutes)
Minnesota receives: PF Chris Webber (21.1 ppg, 9.8 rpg, 5.4 apg in 36.2 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -1.0 ppg, -4.1 rpg, and -0.4 apg.
Sacramento trades: PF Chris Webber (21.1 ppg, 9.8 rpg, 5.4 apg in 36.2 minutes)
Sacramento receives: PF Kevin Garnett (22.1 ppg, 13.9 rpg, 5.8 apg in 38.8 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +1.0 ppg, +4.1 rpg, and +0.4 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
Chicago trades: PG Kirk Hinrich (15.9 ppg, 4.2 rpg, 6.9 apg in 37.1 minutes)
Chicago receives: SF Erik Daniels (0.5 ppg, 0.9 rpg, 0.2 apg in 3.9 minutes)
PF Darius Songaila (6.5 ppg, 3.9 rpg, 1.1 apg in 19.5 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -8.9 ppg, +0.6 rpg, and -5.6 apg.
Sacramento trades: SF Erik Daniels (0.5 ppg, 0.9 rpg, 0.2 apg in 3.9 minutes)
PF Darius Songaila (6.5 ppg, 3.9 rpg, 1.1 apg in 19.5 minutes)
Sacramento receives: PG Kirk Hinrich (15.9 ppg, 4.2 rpg, 6.9 apg in 37.1 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +8.9 ppg, -0.6 rpg, and +5.6 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
Miami trades: SG Dwyane Wade (23.5 ppg, 5.2 rpg, 7.3 apg in 39.0 minutes)
Miami receives: PG Bobby Jackson (11.9 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 2.3 apg in 21.7 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -11.6 ppg, -1.9 rpg, and -5.0 apg.
Sacramento trades: PG Bobby Jackson (11.9 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 2.3 apg in 21.7 minutes)
Sacramento receives: SG Dwyane Wade (23.5 ppg, 5.2 rpg, 7.3 apg in 39.0 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +11.6 ppg, +1.9 rpg, and +5.0 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
Cleveland trades: PF Drew Gooden (14.7 ppg, 9.7 rpg, 1.4 apg in 31.4 minutes)
SF LeBron James (25.4 ppg, 7.1 rpg, 7.7 apg in 41.4 minutes)
Cleveland receives: SF Peja Stojakovic (19.7 ppg, 4.2 rpg, 1.9 apg in 38.3 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -20.4 ppg, -12.6 rpg, and -7.2 apg.
Sacramento trades: SF Peja Stojakovic (19.7 ppg, 4.2 rpg, 1.9 apg in 38.3 minutes)
Sacramento receives: PF Drew Gooden (14.7 ppg, 9.7 rpg, 1.4 apg in 31.4 minutes)
SF LeBron James (25.4 ppg, 7.1 rpg, 7.7 apg in 41.4 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +20.4 ppg, +12.6 rpg, and +7.2 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
Houston trades: C Yao Ming (18.5 ppg, 8.5 rpg, 0.8 apg in 31.6 minutes)
Houston receives: C Greg Ostertag (1.6 ppg, 2.7 rpg, 0.5 apg in 9.8 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -16.9 ppg, -5.8 rpg, and -0.3 apg.
Sacramento trades: C Greg Ostertag (1.6 ppg, 2.7 rpg, 0.5 apg in 9.8 minutes)
Sacramento receives: C Yao Ming (18.5 ppg, 8.5 rpg, 0.8 apg in 31.6 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +16.9 ppg, +5.8 rpg, and +0.3 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
L.A. Lakers trades: SF Caron Butler (14.6 ppg, 5.4 rpg, 1.8 apg in 35.6 minutes)
SG Kobe Bryant (27.8 ppg, 6.2 rpg, 6.6 apg in 42.0 minutes)
L.A. Lakers receives: SG Cuttino Mobley (16.7 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 2.6 apg in 34.7 minutes)
PG Mike Bibby (19.0 ppg, 4.4 rpg, 6.2 apg in 38.5 minutes)
Change in team outlook: -6.7 ppg, -3.9 rpg, and +0.4 apg.
Sacramento trades: SG Cuttino Mobley (16.7 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 2.6 apg in 34.7 minutes)
PG Mike Bibby (19.0 ppg, 4.4 rpg, 6.2 apg in 38.5 minutes)
Sacramento receives: SF Caron Butler (14.6 ppg, 5.4 rpg, 1.8 apg in 35.6 minutes)
SG Kobe Bryant (27.8 ppg, 6.2 rpg, 6.6 apg in 42.0 minutes)
Change in team outlook: +6.7 ppg, +3.9 rpg, and -0.4 apg.
TRADE ACCEPTED
Lineup:
PG: Hinrich
SG: Kobe
SF: LeBron
PF: Garnett
C: Yao
Bench:
Wade, Miller, Gooden, Butler, Mo, Martin, Barnes.