Tips on Watching the Super Bowl from a guy who's seen every one of 'em
First of all, the loudest possible shout-out to Lynch, Shanahan, and everyone else off the field for the fastest ever outhouse-to-the-penthouse in history.
I've seen the Super Bowl every way you can. If you're going to be at one of those big parties with lots of singles, I've been married so long I can honestly say I have no useful dating advice whatsoever. I can say that one of the keys to being married so long is that I don't regard my wife's lack of interest in football as a character flaw. You might be lucky enough to meet a woman who says: "I can see that the players on each team wear the same outfits. Why is that SF player with 97 on his outfit wearing what looks a scarf in the colors of the other team?" Then, with a merry twinkle in your eye, you can say that, believe it or not, that's not a scarf but the Chiefs quarterback, and yeah, #97 just does things like that. It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Even if her name isn't Louie.
This year I'm watching with the cat. Since this is a different cat, it could be another new experience. The previous cat was dainty. This cat plays with her toys like The Fridge carried the ball on first and goal. That's how she earned the nickname The Hulkette. Who knows, she might even pay attention to the TV for a while
The most important thing before the game is the pregame cheer. You can make up your own words, the only requirement is that you say it AS LOUD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. I have an admittedly bizarre touchdown call that could be a great lead in to the pregame cheer. On the Niners second drive against Green Bay, 3 plays told the story for me. The quick slant that nearly went all the way. The perfectly-set-up screen that the Packers smushed. Then, when Mostert turned the corner, I could see he was gone. It could have been just the end of an impressive drive, but, as we all know, the game was already over. In the middle of the first quarter. That's why I yelled, at the top of my lungs:
GOOD - at the 25
NIGHT - at the 15
GRACIE - at the 5
Find a clip and cheer along with me if you want. This leads in to the pregame cheer because THE NINERS ARE SO GOOD THE GAME WAS ALREADY OVER ... Carry on. As loudly as possible.
I'm sure this is going to be a good one because the Niners are in it and all indications are that the teams will actually play instead of try to avoid screwing up. Enjoy the game everyone!