a dissertation on existential reasoning
by Viking
peas. they come in a can. they are usually without much of a discernable taste. it is unclear why when buried in mashed potatoes the resulting concoction is referred to as a "bird's nest" because birds do not lay peas, as that would be quite silly. instead, they lay eggs which i prefer scrambled with butter and some cheese, although omelettes are good as well. also quiche.
Once i was on the subway coming home from a yankees game and a guy on the subway asked if i dropped something. now we're talking 300 guys in a subway car and it had to be like 15 degrees hotter than it was outside and i think it was like 95 or something at 1 am because there was a heat wave and not terrorists with a microwave warming new york or something. but anyway if i had dropped something he wouldn't have seen it so i was all like "no" but i was wondering what the hell he wanted, like, did he want me to like bend over so he could kick my posterior or maybe he wanted me to play crowd submarine or something, which would have been fun but i dont think they would have liked it. a lot of people were drunk. i wasn't but it would have been funny if i was because i probably would have told him i dropped a duck and it would have been the funniest thing in the world but not really because that doesn't make any damn sense at all.
for breakfast tomorrow i'm eating cereal. i'm up late. i hope i dont have a nightmare about being teased in high school again, those aren't fun, also i was skinny and stuff and i still am so that isn't cool to be teased about but it doesn't happen too much anymore except in my dreams, but i like cereal when i wake up. it's a good thing that cereal has marshmallows in it instead of peas because that would be kind of gross. i once had peas from a can and i tried putting butter on them but it was gross and i threw them away because my dog wouldn't eat them. i don't blame him, they were gross. i remember afterwards clearly that i was craving pineapple. alas, my craving went unsatisfied.
i awoke three days later strapped to an operation table. the bright light seemed to penetrate my retinas like a sword from heaven itself. yet in my temporary blindness i noted that i was alone in this bright room, and left to my own devices i sang a song, and that song was written so very long ago...
the clouds were shaped like giant pinwheels.
i laughed. "not today", I said, with a smile as I drifted into a pleasant sleep.
