Island of Pain and Misery Draft --- draft completed
- Thread starter SLAB
- Start date
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D-Mass
Starter
Continuing my section consisting of things I don't like that everyone else loves...
BIG DOGS
This will not win me any votes, but again, I have to stay true to what I really don't like. I'm not a dog person. I did not have dogs growing up and I think they all know that. Small dogs don't really bug me, but big drooly ones...ack. They always seem to know the direct path to my crotch or my face with their nasty wet noses and mouths and I never know what to do with them. Push them away and they keep coming back. My island will be infested with big, drooly dogs...no thanks.
BIG DOGS
This will not win me any votes, but again, I have to stay true to what I really don't like. I'm not a dog person. I did not have dogs growing up and I think they all know that. Small dogs don't really bug me, but big drooly ones...ack. They always seem to know the direct path to my crotch or my face with their nasty wet noses and mouths and I never know what to do with them. Push them away and they keep coming back. My island will be infested with big, drooly dogs...no thanks.
D-Mass
Starter
Another one that won't win me the trophy...
COUNTRY MUSIC
These guys especially bug me...
Another thing I never liked. I'm from the most hillbilly town you could imagine and I think I was the only person in town who didn't love country music. Some of the poppier stuff doesn't bug me too bad, but most country music drives me insane. My island will have country music blaring 24/7.
COUNTRY MUSIC
These guys especially bug me...
Another thing I never liked. I'm from the most hillbilly town you could imagine and I think I was the only person in town who didn't love country music. Some of the poppier stuff doesn't bug me too bad, but most country music drives me insane. My island will have country music blaring 24/7.
Larry89
Disgruntled Kings Fan
Randomly Often Occurring Interviews by Angela Tsai
So I lost my short term memory, earthquakes and giant insects are attacking me, not to mention mobsters stalking me, now I have no idea why this crazy robotic voice trained PR person is asking me these dumb questions.
Why me
So I lost my short term memory, earthquakes and giant insects are attacking me, not to mention mobsters stalking me, now I have no idea why this crazy robotic voice trained PR person is asking me these dumb questions.
Why me
Rioting Laker fans decide that they don't want me to get a deadly infection as they are having too much fun torturing me. They decide to help me out! I can't believe it - something is wrong with this picture, right?
Yep - they decide to repeatedly pour rubbing alcohol on all my wounds. They basically bathe me with it. Every poison ivy rash, every canker sore, every scratch and abrasion from being stretched on the rack, every spot they have inserted slivers under my fingernails and toenails, and every other sensitive spot on my body.
I'm thinking you all know how that feels.....enough said.
Yep - they decide to repeatedly pour rubbing alcohol on all my wounds. They basically bathe me with it. Every poison ivy rash, every canker sore, every scratch and abrasion from being stretched on the rack, every spot they have inserted slivers under my fingernails and toenails, and every other sensitive spot on my body.
I'm thinking you all know how that feels.....enough said.
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jalfa
Starter
If we're being quite honest here, and this is not supposed to be a dig at SLAB, because I rather like it that way, then no rule whatsoever has really been enforced. The only thing that basically all drafters have stayed away from is stuff that kills you outright, but I'm pretty much convinced that the only reason for this is that it's in the drafters best interest. I mean, who'd not prefer any kind of death over the stuff that's been collected here.
SLAB
Hall of Famer
And in my very loose verb rule, (Which as said really is non-existent, at this point) I say the pick is "Rubbing Alcohol" with rioting Laker fans using to their hearts content, including dumping on all open wounds.
Really as long as it is not an outright verb standing on it's own, it will probably go through.
Really as long as it is not an outright verb standing on it's own, it will probably go through.
Jespher
Starter
I don't know what is up or down, right or wrong, real or a nightmare. My life is pain, and I live only to suffer it. I have lost my dignity, my decency, my freedom, my family, my health, my sanity, and my soul. I wish Cthulhu would just kill me now, but I fear he has more diabolical intentions...
Swallowing that sulfuric acid really did me in. Not only am I burned from head to toe, but I'm also suffering severe internal complications. The acid must have punched some holes in my GI tract, and along with the bacteria in the raw sewage, has caused this horribly painful condition. With my 13th choice, I select:
Excruciating Peptic Ulcers
I have a constant biting stomach ache, and nausea. Since the ulcers began, I've noticed more vomiting than ever before (including vomiting blood), heartburn, relentless cramping, and the worst abdominal pain in my life. It always feels like my organs are being eviscerated and burned alive. The pain comes at me in waves, with episodes so intense that it sends my body into spasms.
It is worse whenever I eat, drink, or think of food, and I now find it impossible to sleep. This worsens my fibromyalgia, decreasing my threshold for pain even more, and weakens my already frail and battered body to near mortal limits.
Signs and Symptoms:
In patients over 45 with more than two weeks of the above symptoms, the odds for peptic ulceration are high enough to warrant rapid investigation by EGD (see below).
The timing of the symptoms in relation to the meal may differentiate between gastric and duodenal ulcers: A gastric ulcer would give epigastric pain during the meal, as gastric acid is secreted, or after the meal, as the alkaline duodenal contents reflux into the stomach. Symptoms of duodenal ulcers would manifest mostly before the meal—when acid (production stimulated by hunger) is passed into the duodenum.
Complications
More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peptic_ulcer
Swallowing that sulfuric acid really did me in. Not only am I burned from head to toe, but I'm also suffering severe internal complications. The acid must have punched some holes in my GI tract, and along with the bacteria in the raw sewage, has caused this horribly painful condition. With my 13th choice, I select:
Excruciating Peptic Ulcers
I have a constant biting stomach ache, and nausea. Since the ulcers began, I've noticed more vomiting than ever before (including vomiting blood), heartburn, relentless cramping, and the worst abdominal pain in my life. It always feels like my organs are being eviscerated and burned alive. The pain comes at me in waves, with episodes so intense that it sends my body into spasms.
It is worse whenever I eat, drink, or think of food, and I now find it impossible to sleep. This worsens my fibromyalgia, decreasing my threshold for pain even more, and weakens my already frail and battered body to near mortal limits.
Signs and Symptoms:
- abdominal pain, classically epigastric with severity relating to mealtimes, after around 3 hours of taking a meal (duodenal ulcers are classically relieved by food, while gastric ulcers are exacerbated by it);
- bloating and abdominal fullness;
- waterbrash (rush of saliva after an episode of regurgitation to dilute the acid in esophagus);
- nausea, and copious vomiting;
- loss of appetite and weight loss;
- hematemesis (vomiting of blood); this can occur due to bleeding directly from a gastric ulcer, or from damage to the Oesophagus from severe/continuing vomiting.
- melena (tarry, foul-smelling feces due to oxidized iron from hemoglobin);
- rarely, an ulcer can lead to a gastric or duodenal perforation. This is extremely painful and requires immediate surgery.
In patients over 45 with more than two weeks of the above symptoms, the odds for peptic ulceration are high enough to warrant rapid investigation by EGD (see below).
The timing of the symptoms in relation to the meal may differentiate between gastric and duodenal ulcers: A gastric ulcer would give epigastric pain during the meal, as gastric acid is secreted, or after the meal, as the alkaline duodenal contents reflux into the stomach. Symptoms of duodenal ulcers would manifest mostly before the meal—when acid (production stimulated by hunger) is passed into the duodenum.
- Gastrointestinal bleeding is the most common complication. Sudden large bleeding can be life-threatening. It occurs when the ulcer erodes one of the blood vessels.
- Perforation (a hole in the wall) often leads to catastrophic consequences. Erosion of the gastro-intestinal wall by the ulcer leads to spillage of stomach or intestinal content into the abdominal cavity. Perforation at the anterior surface of the stomach leads to acute peritonitis, initially chemical and later bacterial peritonitis. The first sign is often sudden intense abdominal pain. Posterior wall perforation leads to pancreatitis; pain in this situation often radiates to the back.
- Penetration is when the ulcer continues into adjacent organs such as the liver and pancreas.
- Scarring and swelling due to ulcers causes narrowing in the duodenum and gastric outlet obstruction. Patient often presents with severe vomiting.
- Pyloric stenosis
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kingsnation
All-Star
Sorry for the delay, 2 picks coming!
kingsnation
All-Star
Next pick:
Shaq Rapping about my Misery
Life sucks. I know it, and now Shaq is going to rap about it. Every day. For the rest of eternity.
Shaq Rapping about my Misery
Life sucks. I know it, and now Shaq is going to rap about it. Every day. For the rest of eternity.
kingsnation
All-Star
kingsnation
All-Star
SLAB
Hall of Famer
Well, I have two picks, and Im going to say my first one is different enough from the original pick to stand alone.
With my first pick...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror
Night Terrors.
Not caused by any dream, just pure true FEAR. Half awake, not fully aware of surroundings and TERRIFIED beyond belief.
Sleeping is not going to be fun on my island. Half the time I wake to Night Terrors, the other half I wake to Sleep Paralysis.
And if they happened at the same time?
Ugh.
Sleep is no longer an escape from the misery...Pain follows me everywhere.
With my first pick...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror
Night Terrors.
Not caused by any dream, just pure true FEAR. Half awake, not fully aware of surroundings and TERRIFIED beyond belief.
Sleeping is not going to be fun on my island. Half the time I wake to Night Terrors, the other half I wake to Sleep Paralysis.
And if they happened at the same time?
Ugh.
Sleep is no longer an escape from the misery...Pain follows me everywhere.
SLAB
Hall of Famer
With my next pick...
Goatheads.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribulus_terrestris
It's hot outside, I have a severe case of sunburn, I can't sleep peacefully, Kobe, Richard Simmons, and Carrot Top are following me everywhere and The Black Hole is rioting because Al Davis told them too.
Now, the ground is covered in these little beasts. They are goatheads, and they are PAINFUL. Once I fell hands-first into these things, and there were 20 of them impaled in my hands. It sucked. Then I had to pick them out one by one by one. It sucked. Then my hands were both flowing with 20 puncture holes.
These things are now everywhere.
And I don't have shoes.
Goatheads.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribulus_terrestris
It's hot outside, I have a severe case of sunburn, I can't sleep peacefully, Kobe, Richard Simmons, and Carrot Top are following me everywhere and The Black Hole is rioting because Al Davis told them too.
Now, the ground is covered in these little beasts. They are goatheads, and they are PAINFUL. Once I fell hands-first into these things, and there were 20 of them impaled in my hands. It sucked. Then I had to pick them out one by one by one. It sucked. Then my hands were both flowing with 20 puncture holes.
These things are now everywhere.
And I don't have shoes.
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