Grades v. Suns 03/22

[Bricklayer]

Having come to the conclusion that this current crop of Kings really isn't very good, I have decided to reminisce with tonight's theme: Great Kings of the Past

Salmons ( D ) -- John Salmons has had some of the biggest games of his career against the Suns. Think its the pace. But in any case, against this team he is a threat to go for 20 given the minutes. Run up and down the floor, get to the rim etc. Er...not tonight. Got the start, and then the unenviable assignment of trying to slow Nash. Not able to do it. Played almost the entire first half (minus three minutes from price) against a team he has often excelled against in the past anbd gave us very little with 2pts 2rebs on 0-3 shooting. Kept on logging heavy minutes after half and finally fouled out after doing absolutely nothing. Avoids an F here just because he didn't even do stupid/bad stuff. He just did nothing. Was on the court I'm pretty sure, but you would never have known it. 4pts 2rebs 2ast in 37min on 1-6 shooting. Mr. "Consistency" strikes again.

O.P. -- obviously no list of great Kings could ever be complete without including Officer Polynice (having a Captain Morgan moment in the above pic), and so I decided to just lead off with him. There may have been no King, before or after, so talented at pissing people off.

Cisco ( B+ ) -- nice first quarter as our "power" forward, and for the first time that I can recall actually had a good game in an up and down affair -- has always seemed the natural fit for his skills/build, but always seems like he struggles with the ole processor running too slow for the frantic action. Not tonight, where maybe it helped being out of position facing a guy he had a quickness edge on (Marion). And Cisco was kind of a pest and pretty much played Marion to a draw. Really think his energy, along with Mike's early leadership, were the reasons we even hung within megaphone distance in this one for as long as we did (that and the Suns could not hit a three). Slowed down as the game went along, and got pummeled on the glass by Diaw off the bench (indeed Diaw and Marion combined for 22 more rebs while Cisco got 6 playing almost the whole game). Still though, first long starting stint I can recall for Cisco in a long time, and put up the across the baord type numbers you would hope he might.

MARTY CONLON -- I will admit to having a soft spot for Marty while he waddled about for the Kings, a player Geoff no doubt loved because "he knew how to play" (and lose), and I was thinking of including him in this list, possibly with a picture of one of the Flintstones since he had that sort of athleticism. But then I hit the jackpot -- yes indeedy ladies and gents, let me introduce you to the the Marty Conlon Fan Club: http://www.tomah.com/barth/martyconlon.htm .

Reef ( C- ) -- started off the game with a pretty good early scoring push. But it was just scoring this time, and Reef was absolutely no match at all for the raw physicality and athleticism of Stoudemire, who dropped a monster 30-20 night on us. After half Reef's interior woes just got taken too far as the Suns were just waltzing down the lane, cha chaing even, completely uncontested. I could have scored on us. So the little scoring burst to start, but in the end 9pts 6rebs 2 TO for our center, 33pts 21rebs 2ast 2stl 3blk for theirs.

RANDY BREUER -- and here I have to admit to almost being disappointed at finding actual pictures of this er...beast, as I had planned on using completely appropriate shots of either Frankenstein or Lurch from the Adams family. One of my grandest back in the day Kings memories was getting seats behind the basket for one game back in the early 90's and having an opportunity to watch 7'3" Randy and 7'7" Gheorghe Muresan go toe to toe in nearly 15 feet of gargantuan Vince Carteresque athletic action. Truly a clash of the titans.

Martin ( B- ) -- this may have been more C+ than B-, but circumstances and all that. Was off to another slow start for us offensively, but helped by getting back to get on the glass -- virtually the only boardwork we had in an incredibly bad first half. Buoyed his plummeting 3pt% with a 4-5 night, but maybe should have just kept on taking those threes, because he struggled mightily to finish inside the arc, and repeatedly missed his little runners in the face of sporadic challenges. As the second half wore on, quit boarding, hitting threes, or scoring in general, and its a tribute to just how bad he's been going of late that this 6-18 night actually felt like an improvement.

JIM LES -- another player that I had a soft spot for back in the day -- I never could dribble with my left hand either. Came into the league as a one trick pony, and in the darkest of our dark days stood forth as a shining beacon of light for us with what had to be the highlight of about 5 or 6 seasons there when he came in second in the All Star Weekend 3pt shooting contest. Unfortunately after 1/2 of season of true brilliance for us, teams began to catch on that all he could do was shoot a three, uncontested, going to his right, and things wound down fairly quickly therafter. Still ranks as the greatest accountant to ever suit up for the Kings though, and my brother claims to still have the "Les 4 3" vintage baby blue jersey I gave him for his birthday back in '92 or whatever stashed away somewhere.

 

[Bricklayer]

Bibby ( B+ ) -- visibly led this effort, and may have benefitted from so many vets being out of the way and the kidcentric nature of our lineups. Started getting very aggressive as the first quarter wore on, banging around (and yes flopping) and getting to the line repeatedly. Was involved in a number of unforced turnovers in the early going, but otherwise was our primary offensive weapon, and the one who you knew could have a big night (although as I recall pretty much never in Phoenix). Padded his stats a bit in garabgetime, which Muss had him play right through of course, but was still the scorer who was there for most of the night. 8-21 isn't going to win you many awards, nor will 4 assists (on a night when we as a team had NINE). But the leadership role he played here was nice to see. He stepped forward nicely in that regard just as Corliss had the night before.

THE BIG O -- no, not Oscar Robertson, the OTHER "Big O". As in BIG. And I was really hoping here to find an old pic of that mean but hilarious sketch the Gorilla did in the fat suit + Miller jersey, but no such luck. Oh well. Oliver went on to play for the Globetrotters...and be canned by them for conduct unbecoming a charlatan. He also was arrested for domestic violence, and may have eaten Cleveland. Loved this man.

Corliss ( C+ ) -- after coming in got a couple of quick fouls trying to take charges inside, eventually spotted in hoops here and there, although they always looked awkward and there was not even a hint of passing. Did most of our scoring in the early 4th, which was not a good sign for us as we faded away. Of course grabbed 2 rebs on a night when we got completely embarrassed on the glass, and was outrebounded by Kevin, Cisco, Mike and Ronnie. Of course given that Muss sometimes had him in there as our only "big" -- Corliss at center, and then 4 guards -- its like gee, shocker.

MATEEN -- a man so great that he, like Michael or Magic or Kareem before him, is still known to this day just by that first name. Waved a towel with such inspiration that it brought a tear to this old curmudgeon's eye.

Price ( B+ ) -- was the last of our primary 7 man rotation, and while he mattered not at all while the game was on, he got the bulk of his minutes in the 4th and played a strong competitive game durng the semi-garbagetime. Did throw in his customary careless turnover up top leading to a breakaway. But otherwise played a Bobby Jackson like quarter...ok, that's kind of an insult ot Bobby, but Ronnie was at least racing up and down the court trying. One of those efforts which raises that question again with him -- can he do it consistently as part of an normal rotation?

BEN GILLERY -- until his dying day my dad never forgave Big Ben for his utter and complete incompetence. My dad was never much of a sports fan, but ended up seeing a couple of Kings games in the early years. The last of which was a game in which Ben Gillery got in during garbagetime. During those years one of the promotions for our losing squads was that if they actually managed to score...110 points I think it was, you got a free Whopper from Burger King. We had 108 or some such with 2 minutes to go. Then Ben was inserted. We finished with 108. My dad never forgave him. Shockingly I could find no pics of him around the web, but I have never seen the man behind the dinosaur costume, and if you had ever seen Ben Gillery move you understand the reference.

Douby ( D ) -- one of those games where its hard to even grade -- just not enough to grab hold of one way or the other. got spotted into our smallball lineups, and at one point found himself checking Amare. That went well.

TAG -- you know, for some reason Kings fans never respected Tag enough while he was here. It was kind of like the Chris Webber syndrome -- don't know what you've got till its gone (also a cheesy Cinderella song from the 80's). But I am here to remind everyone what is missing this year, and so I present to you Tag, in all his glory: http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3AlmPMr96g .

 

[Bricklayer]

Williams ( INC ) -- came in late in garbagetime, and competed pretty well with Amare in there. Also came over for a block on weakside help. fumbled some stuff as usual, but the only Kings "big" who looked remotely qualified to hang with the Suns' athletes.

DWAYNE SCHINTZIUS -- aka the Big Mullet. So big. So ugly. I just had to include two shots of that hair. Take Tag, give him a mullet and an attitude problem, and you've got Dwayne.

Muss ( ) -- Muss is utterly terrified fo the Phoenix Suns. There is really no other way to look at the bizarre one time only lineup experiments he runs everytime we face them. Last time it was Ronnie Price at OG. Thsi time, Cisco at PF. In any case, I could almost make an argument for the wacky starting lienup this time. Almost. Then the consequences of such tinyballing would jump up and manifest themselves in an absolute pounding on the glass, and I'd end up looking as dumb as Muss. In any case while yes, we were active, the fact is the Suns started off the game 0-12 from 3pt land, and yet still all we were was tied. So you knew we were going to be in trouble once those shots started to fall. Meanwhile we got pounded in almost historic fashion on the glass -- 36-15 at half, 42-17 at one point, with Stoudemire, Marion, Diaw all pounding our "bigs" inside. And byt the end the Suns crusied off to an easy victory. not unexpected, and given all the injuries and turmoil, not even that "bad" of a loss, as our losses go. But its getting that way isn't it? I can feel the mindset setting in of the bad ole days, when the loss was assumed, and it was jsut a mtter of degrees. When you knew you were always going to lose to the top teams, and so just sort of kissed their *** and chummed up to them and acted like a little doggie looking for approval. Fair enough, and it certainly beats the angry denial and delusion that has been ruling the roost in Kingsland. But Geoff, please get off your *** and do something about this this offseason.

MICHAEL JACKSON -- by all rights this last spot should have belonged to Les Jepsen -- he "earned it". But Sacramento had pop royalty on its team once (from '87-90), and so I thought it had to be recognized. I don't remember much about Michael as a basketball player, other than that he sucked, and I used to confuse him with the equally immortal Othell Wilson.

 

[Circa_1985_Fan]

Ahh, the memories. Man, I'm glad someone remembers the 'good ole' days'. Remember Randy Allen? How about Brooke Steppe and the great Johnny Rogers? Dennis Hopson? lol

 

[slugking50]

Great Great Grades!

 

[6th]

Brick, while it is often difficult to watch our Kings (never want to go back to the old days), your grade's thread is still highly anticipated. It is sad to look at all the low grades (which they deserve, I might add), but I am loving all the themes. As usual.....Great job, big guy!!!

 

[Warhawk]

Brick, while it is often difficult to watch our Kings (never want to go back to the old days), your grade's thread is still highly anticipated. It is sad to look at all the low grades (which they deserve, I might add), but I am loving all the themes. As usual.....Great job, big guy!!!

Ditto. Thanks for the themes!

 

[ESP47]

Yeah these themes are an awesome read. Definitely a keeper!