Grades v. Sixers 02/26

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Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
Impressive, even by our standards.

And tonight's theme will be: Bricklayer's Alternative Oscars (for movie's he's seen in the last year or so)

Artest ( C- ) -- a slow return to action, really doing little for three quarters and looking nothing like the indomitable player last seen in Jersey. Offensively quiet, and defensively a mixed bag, occasionally disrupting, but certianly not shutting down Iggy. Stepped up in the early to mid 4th, adn was really one of our few guys holding it together down the stretch. But too little too late, and was quiet as we faded away in the late going. Not sure what the personal reasons were in New York, but hope it wasn't anything truly serious that was weighing on him.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN PUMMELING A SHORT GUY WEARING A MANGY BEAR SUIT

Thomas ( B ) -- in the first quarter got a bundle easy conversions running the floor and taking passes for easy layups. Kept it simple, and was efficient and effective doing so. Continued helping on the glass in the 3rd, although the interior shots dried up in the face of the long Sixers frontline. Of course could not shut down the middle against MimiMe, and was certianly not effective in interfering with Dalembet's interior dominance. But while it was not a huge game or anything, it was a solid one, and Kenny wasn't why we lost this one.
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MOST SPECTACULAR FAILURE AT PARODYING A GENRE RIPE FOR IT (I lasted 15min)

Miller ( A- ) -- almost deserves a demerit here for trying to singlehandedly keep us afloat and save us from and otherwise impressive lin. Started off hitting every shot from outside, and came came back in in the second quarter as a passer to set Kevin up on the cut. His own offense disappeared for a long stretch, and Dalembert was having a big game in there against our frontline. But it was Brad who stepped forward at the end of the third quarter as the only King with real life, trying to get to the hoop and keep us in it. And he carried that effort into the early 4th. Not enough in the face of the seemingly dead legs everywhere else on the floor, but Brad's best game in some time -- a 21pt 10reb 5ast complete effort, marred only by his complete inability to play at the same altitide as Dalembert.
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GREATEST WASTE OF A HOTTIE (I lasted 18 min)

Martin ( B- ) -- had a pretty strong first half in the way that Kevin often has pretty strong halves -- a couple of threes, some breakaways, a couple of back door cuts rewarded by Brad etc. A 14pt half where he was not dominant, but where he was leading the game in scoring and we had the lead. But came out after half with considerably more attention focused on him by the Sixers defense and he largely disappeared. By the time he reemerged in the final three minutes to hit a couple of shots, it was too late. Sixers were doubling to get the ball out of his hands, and the big shotblockers back there caused him to pull up short a few times. 23 points on +.500 shooting, so not bad. But not enough without significant games from either Mike or Ron.
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MOST SPECTACULAR REUSE OF STOCK FOOTAGE FROM PREVIOUS CRAPPY FILMS (believe it or not a movie so bad that they decided to make the entire last hour a jumbled mess of clips stolen from the Carnisaur series, going so far as to have their actors wear similar clothes to the Carnisaur actors so hopefully nobody would notice. )
 
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Bibby ( D+ ) -- started off the game in interesting fashion, back to struggling with his own offense, but greasing the offense with pass after pass setting up Kevin, Brad, Kenny. Six total first quarter assists. And then...well and then it was just like the Washington game. A fast start and then complete disappearance. Andre Miller was able to get where he wanted to go at will the whole game, and Mike...Mike finished 3-14 form the field, the assits dried up, and by the end it was pretty much a wipeout. For a quarter Mike reminded that the offense can be potent when he's running it (albeit against a crap team), and then jsut went away, whether it be due to fatigue or just sucking (and note on the fatigure angle neither he nor Kevin played major minutes in Jersey). The ease with which Miller ran his team and got to his spots knocks this back half a grade.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN DISMEMBERING RICHARD GRIECO WHILE LOTS OF NAKED PORNSTARS RUN AROUND SCREAMING (ruined in retina damaging fashion by then throwing in a gratuitous Grieco gonad flash)

Salmons ( D ) -- quiet return to Philly "highlighted" by a bad turnover late in the game. Otherwise, moved the ball, and otherwise was completely invisible.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN COMPLETELY DEFYING PHYSICS AND COMMON SENSE

Price ( C ) -- hit his first shot after coming into the game, but came back a possession later and got some sticky fingers on a 2 on 1 break, resulting in a charge. And that was pretty much the sum total of his achievements this time out. Overall not as feisty as he was in Indy.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMILATING A FORMER OSCAR WINNER (Ben Kingsley) -- of course his own fault for appearing in an Uwe Boll flick.

Reef ( C ) -- indifferent first half, and invisible second half. Spent a lot of time battling his mirror image in Joe Smith, and maybe, MAYBE it was a draw. In any case it was a complete afterthought to the game as a whole.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN MAKING ME THINK I MUST HAVE REALLY MISSED SOMETHING
 
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Cisco ( C ) -- had a nice steal and breakaway, otherwise not much before half. Hustled hard in the late going, but committed many fouls. Numbers aren't much, but his hustle in the 4th was actually marginally effective. Too bad he couldn't finish anything.
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BEST ACHIEVEMENT IN TOTALLY NOT GETTING IT DESPITE HAVING NOT ONLY A PREVIOUS PRETTY GOOD MOVIE TO DRAW FROM, BUT THE PREVIOUS PRETTY GOOD MOVIE'S OWN DIRECTOR AS A CONSULTANT (alternate title BEST ACHEIVEMENT IN STUPIDTIY)

Corliss ( INC ) -- got a long first half stretch, and at least stayed out of trouble this time. But stayed out of trouble by pretty much doing nothing so, and did not earn a return in the second half. Still baffled by his sudden burst of ineffectiveness. Maybe he's taking one for draft position? ;) I'm dropping the INC ont his one as its only 4 seconds over my cutoff and I don't feel like figuring out what to do with 0pts 0rebs 0asts 0stl 0blk 0To and 1 PF in 6min
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BEST ACHEIVEMENT IN CHILD STAR SYNDROME (Edward Furlong of T2 fame having gotten older and uglier and now sharing his late career humilation with Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Cerina Vincent (who did not even get nekkid))
 
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And tonight's theme will be: Bricklayer's Alternative Oscars (for movie's he's seen in the last year or so)

That parenthetical disclaimer could end up being a tricky one.

Everyone prepare yourselves for the inevitable "Best Performance by a Former Madam in a Cheesy, Low-Budget, Sci-Fi Film" category.
 
Corliss ( INC ) -- got a long first half stretch, and at least stayed out of trouble this time. But stayed out of trouble by pretty much doing nothing so, and did not earn a return in the second half. Still baffled by his sudden burst of ineffectiveness. Maybe he's taking one for draft position? ;) I'm dropping the INC ont his one as its only 4 seconds over my cutoff and I don't feel like figuring out what to do with 0pts 0rebs 0asts 0stl 0blk 0To and 1 PF in 6min
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In the Pacers game yesterday, the ESPN guys were mentioning that he is suffering from migraine. Not sure if it is a recent development, and a possible cause of his slump. First time that I heard of it.
 
i could not stomach any of those films (notable exception: the life aquatic; even that movie was nothing like the other movies of the same director). you must enjoy slaughtering the little time you have. ;)
 
thanks

I just want to put a shout out to Brick for making these grades all year, especially this year, where its hard to be a fan for me. I look forward to reading the grades after each game more than the games themselves now, and know its gotta be taking some herculean effort to keep it running. I get a good chuckle and laugh most times, and I really appreciate it.
 
I just want to put a shout out to Brick for making these grades all year, especially this year, where its hard to be a fan for me. I look forward to reading the grades after each game more than the games themselves now, and know its gotta be taking some herculean effort to keep it running. I get a good chuckle and laugh most times, and I really appreciate it.

I think this deserves a hearty "ditto".
 
I just want to put a shout out to Brick for making these grades all year, especially this year, where its hard to be a fan for me. I look forward to reading the grades after each game more than the games themselves now, and know its gotta be taking some herculean effort to keep it running. I get a good chuckle and laugh most times, and I really appreciate it.

:eek:

That must be the big secret!

Brick =
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I just want to put a shout out to Brick for making these grades all year, especially this year, where its hard to be a fan for me. I look forward to reading the grades after each game more than the games themselves now, and know its gotta be taking some herculean effort to keep it running. I get a good chuckle and laugh most times, and I really appreciate it.

I agree. And I think the "theme" idea was

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BRILLIANT!!!
 
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