Grades v. Clippers 04/15

[Bricklayer]

Morons, your bus is leaving. Don't let the door hit you on the way out of the building this summer.

Theme will be one tailored for the occasion: Sports/Entertainment People Who Have Famously ****ed Up

Artest ( B+ ) -- and gee, ain't this a shocker. Ron, ever the brainy one, got confused as usual whether to pack it in for the season or not and decided to rise up and show those mighty rivals of ours, the hated Clippers, who the man was. You go Ron. Killed the Clippers in the early going by drawing double teams in the post and passing out to open shooter after open shooter -- 6 first quarter assists, and had 8 at the half. Was less effective after the break, and both the Clips defense and a change in Ron's focus had him shooting more (and missing) and passing less. Came back though to magnificently hit the sealing jumpshot after we almost saved ourself with a 24 pt collapse. Did I mention "go Ron"? Like maybe away? Thanks for the uh..."interesting" season, now head to Tahiti for some R & R and don't call us, we'll call you.

OJ SIMPSON -- Hey, what list of this nature could possibly omit this guy? Not going to go into detail on the offense with most of these guys/gals, because its usually quite ugly. Will just note that the classic comic series of Naked Gun movies got big mileage out of OJs persona at the time as genial and bumbling -- nobody took him seriously, but he had a nice career going in TV and the movies as a guy it was hard not to like. Let's just say that is gone now. And along the way even screwed up a couple of my favorite comedies -- good as those movies are, its always a little hard to laugh along as the presumed double murderer plays for laughs.

Reef ( B- ) -- ok start before getting into foul trouble, and came back in for a similar stint in the 3rd. Scored some hoops, had a few good defesnive stands in there against Brand and Kaman, but played no significant part in the outcome and ceded most of his minutes to the kids today.

DON IMUS -- one of the immediate inspirations for this list, just got done destroying a life's work in building himself up as...not sure what. A massively popular radio show guy, but never got him. To call him cantankerous would be an understatement. Calling him an...alternate name for male private parts might be closer to it. In any case, if you don't know what he said to get himself canned off of radio last week, you're not going to hear it here. People have said worse, and Imus himself has pressed that line again and again, but it was just patently offensive, and going after a bunch of girls in college to boot. Bad show.

Brad ( B+ ) -- Brad excels at coming up small in big games against opponents who have a clue, so I suppose why not come up big in an irrelevant game against an opponent who has never gotten it in my entire basketball watching career? Hit open shots throughout the first quarter, then sat the second while Justin took over. Came back out in the third and similar to Reef largely repeated his performance. Only 12pts 5rebs, but it was very efficient and he hurt the Clips as they were struggling back to life just by repeatedly hitting every open little jumper he could get his grimy little hands on.

JIMMY THE GREEK -- remember this guy? Like many on this list of losers, opened his large chubby mouth and spewed forth some offensive garbage after having one too many one night, and killed his slimy career back in 1989. Prior to that he had been a prominent football commentator/bookie on...CBS? One of the major networks. Because yes, at the time the powers that be in TVland had decided that a shady bookie who talked like he was on the Sopranos would be a wonderful representative for the sport of football as he related betting lines for all the 8 yr olds watching with their dads.

 

[Bricklayer]

Martin ( B- ) -- only Kings starter to struggle to start the game, nad finished the first quarter only 1-6. Did create a few shots for others though, and was having an ok game i other aspects -- getting worked over by the much smaller Cat Mobley in the post here and there, but helping us on the glass. Came out more aggressive to start the third and went on his only real offensvie run of the game, but it was short lived. Better than the 5-13 might indicate, but he gunned up some bad shots and had himself a relatively modest night compared to some of his scorching teammates.

JAYSON WILLIAMS -- Jayson Williams (not our "Jason" Williams) was actually a very good basketball player -- if a constant barrage of injuries had not slowed him down he might have been an annual threat to lead the league in rebounds. He was also known throughout his career as a goof -- in his early career as an immature partier who Sir Charles liked to have tag along on his nightlife/trouble expeditions, and later as a genial and funny All Interview Team guy who had carried that over to work as an analyst for NBC. Then the irresponsible side of the goof reared its ugly head, and there are few things more dangerous than an irresponsible guy with a gun. Shooting a guy in the chest with a shotgun, intentionally or not, has a tendency to bring those laughs to a screeching halt. Having it come out in your autobiography that you once almost shot Wayne Chrebet (former Jets wide reciever) as well raises all kinds of red flags. The case is still winding its way through the courts, and Jayson is set to be retried on reckless manslaughter charges. Needless to say the future career as studio analyst goof in the Barkley mode is long gone.

Bibby ( A- ) -- had another pee me off first quarter, firing in threes and trying his best to prove to the world he is still better than Jason Hart. Muss even shut him down for the rest of the half after the big start (13pts) and it still didn't matter because the Clippers were playing no defense and everyone we brought in was going to score big. Came right back out and smoothly knocked down his first shot to start the third and then was replaced early by Douby. So congrats Mike: on this day you did look a lot better than Jason Hart. Aren't you special. Now go join Ron in Tahiti while we try to clean up the mess you guys helped create.

TIM HARDAWAY -- and this is almost a bit of a questionable choice, just because I'm not sure how much career Tim Hardaway had left before famously getting himself barred from the NBA All Star fesivities this year as persona non grata for his remarks about gay people. I distinctly recall his brief appearance as a studio analyst for ESPN, and oh my, was he godawful. But in any case, after thoroughly besmirching his own good name with a hate filled rant this winter, at least we likely won't have to worry about any repeats of the ESPN experiment. Did inspire this hilarious response by George Takei (Mr. Sulu of Star Trek fame) on the Jimmy Kimmel Show http://youtube.com/watch?v=54JdtwyQHFU (Note: Mr. Takei is gay himself, hence the context).

Williams ( B- ) -- came in in the first half and continued making those same contributions he has been over the last few weeks. Aggressive after the ball on the glass, moving to the hoop on offense (also threw up a forced hook in traffic, but went in too). Had 7 and 4 by the break, and as ususal, just keeping it simple against a dead and flatfooted Clippers team (sans Brand, who was very good). But saw this grade slip in a big way after he was just not effective in the late going as the Clippers clawed back into it, adn we could not score. Has no offensive game if guarded, so was unable to help there, and Brand and Maggette in aprticualr were attacking inside, on the glass, and Justin was bouncing around in there to minimal effect.

TOM SIZEMORE -- and as long as I'm going to step away from sports related figures, might as well go for the colorful one. Yeah, freaks like Cruise and Gibson might still make it, but the lesser star of Sizemore might shine brighter here. Maybe, hard to tell. I thought this guy was a helluva actor throughout the 90's, and he appeared in big movie after big movie during that decade. He's still working, apparently a lot, but I basically don't know any oif his projects of the last 3-4 years on imdb, and so I am woindering if his...er...issues haven't knocked him from A-list status. Anyway, that what I'm betting on in including him in this list. So what were Tommy's "issues" now that I've hinted at them? Well...let me ask you, would you hire a man who has failed drug test after drug test, and twice been caught with a prosthetic penis and urine bag (clean of drugs) sewn into his underpants? What if he had violated his parole there, and been sentenced to 17 months in jail? What if his girlfriend was former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. Oh...and she sued him for beating her? Oh...and did I mention the release of his EIGHT HOUR celebrity sex tape??? Working with him has to a little like having Ron Artest on your tea...oh...er...darn.

Salmons ( B ) -- statistically modest first half, but maybe a grease man with 3 assits off the drive for the most part. And played a major role down the stretch to hold off the Clippers rally, as he and Cisco were really the deciding factors. Think this was our mistake -- picking up too many Johns and Reefs and Kennys who are expert and experienced at helping bad lottery teams remain bad lottery teams. What's Massenberg doing these days? We figure to have a few open roster spots...

MARTHA STEWART -- after decades of playign Miss American Pie (although many of those who have met her will tell you she's closer to a female dog), Martha decided to get a little adventuresome. Thankfuly that did not mean a sex tape, but rather a little nudge nudge wink wink on the stock market. Unfortunately for dear old Martha, nudge nudge is rather strongly looked down upon by the SEC, and while the Stewart empire has proven too strong to be laid low by a simple little prison sentence, the damage to her image and prestige is irreparable.

 

[Bricklayer]

Cisco ( A ) -- came in off the bench and splashed in back to back threes in the 2nd as part of another big late season effort. Insisted on holding the line in the 4th, draining two more threes to push us back to 11, making several defensive plays, and pumping his fists as the world's first 33-47 tough guy. Finally forced a dumb shot at the 2:30 mark for an airball. But the big final quarter meant he did as much damage as anyone this afternoon to our future prospects. All I gotta say is he better be able to duplicate this level of play next season when it actually matters and helps, because if this is all about a nitwit on a hot streak I'm going to fly back into town and drag his scrawny *** down to a tatoo parlor so we can get "Idiot" embalzoned for all time right across the forehead. In Kings purple to match Muss's of course.

DIXIE CHICKS -- hesitated to add this one because of the obvious political subtext, but man...they screwed up with that little presidential critique in 2003. And its got nothing to do with the message -- I agreed then, and I think far far more people agree now. Its about knowing your audience and the good ole boy and very political world your particular brand of music exists in. They did not, really stuck their feet in their mouths, and while they continue to win Grammy's and whatnot, the backlash in radio play, concert attendance and record sales went beyond dramatic. We could get into theories of censorship or the right to dissent, but bottom line, from a practical standpoint they scuttled their own superstardom and cost themselves millions of dollars in the process.

Douby ( B ) -- you know, all the screeching aside, this was a good performance, not a great one. Not a dominant one. But a good hustling performance where the kid came in with far more energy and athleticism than the battered old guards of the Clips could muster. Immediately blocked Sam Cassel's shot, then came back and blocked a Mobley shot, in between hitting a three and even got in for an offensive rebound. Was back for late play, butthat is where reality sets in a bit -- continued to hustel and get on the glass, but the offense fell apart while he was out there, and while he wasn't gunning and missing like last time out, he just wasn't scoring at all. The blocks were an unexpected surprise -- could have even been fun if I did not know what this game meant for us. And the energy was excellent. The overall game -- roleplayer. Contributor. A step forward, but given that Quincy Douby is going to be neither shotblocker nor rebounder in this league, left open as many questions as it answered.

TOM CRUISE -- well, could hold off on this one no longer. Tom...well Tom's a nut. More precisely he's an egomaniacal member of a pseudo-religious cult. A cultish religion centered around aliens and engrams, but a cult nonetheless. And for one glorious moment there last year it all came together as nutboy celebrated his seduction of a dimwitted beauty young enough to be his daughter by hopping up and down on a couch and then butting his whacked out views on other people's problems in everybody's face. The cult of Tom Cruise itself took a major hit, and his blockbuster movies suddenly didn't ring up the same box office numbers. Time will tell if the stink eventually wears off, or if this was the jump the shark moment for a Hollywood icon.

Muss --

MEL GIBSON -- I always wonder what goes on in the heads of stars when they screw up so bad that their little aura of invulnerability is shattered and they end up down at the station getting their mugshot taken. If I'd had one more person to grade I'd have thrown up Nick Nolte's famous mugshot, which might have been the prom queen of mugshots. Thing of pure beauty. Anyway, most know this story. More alcohol leads to more hate spewing diarrhea mouth. This should come as no surprise with this character too. Unfortunately for me there have been a number of Mel's earlier movies which I liked. Of course the more I began to learn about the small minded little nutter behind those baby blues, the less slack I was willing to give him just for some entertainment. But it was nice of him just to come out and say what was on his peanut brain finally. His time as an actor seemed to be winding down anyway, so it may be hard to tell how much effect this one had. Did not make him a popular man in Hollywood however, which is kind of tough when you are an actor/director.

 

[BMiller52]

Please give Fs for all.

 

[piksi]

Morons, your bus is leaving. Don't let the door hit you on the way out of the building this summer.

Theme will be one tailored for the occasion: Sports/Entertainment People Who Have Famously ****ed Up

May take me a bit to get the actual grades up...need to quit cursing our idiots out before I can fathom being straight on their grades.

other than our whole roster, + coaches + CWebb - I hope

 

[nbrans]

Why?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?????

 

[BMiller52]

Why?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?????

That's what I was thinking

 

[kingsfan916]

why the hell did we win?

 

[VF21]

why the hell did we win?

It wasn't just that we won. The LA Clippers didn't even remotely resemble a team fighting for a playoff berth. I've seen more emotion out of people fighting for the last spoonful of broccoli.

 

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

Hey now, don't hate on broccoli: that's my second-favorite vegetable.

 

[6th]

Hey now, don't hate on broccoli: that's my second-favorite vegetable.

After what?

 

[jon e]

brad miller had 5 rebounds...
quincy douby had 6

 

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

After what?

Terry Schiavo.


































Actually, it's corn.

 

[jon e]

Terry Schiavo.

dont talk about my girlfriend like that

 

[Kingster]

Morons, your bus is leaving. Don't let the door hit you on the way out of the building this summer.

Theme will be one tailored for the occasion: Sports/Entertainment People Who Have Famously ****ed Up

May take me a bit to get the actual grades up...need to quit cursing our idiots out before I can fathom being straight on their grades.

Brick,

You really need to grade the Maloofs and Petrie on this one. They deserve the biggest, fattest,
F

 

[fnordius]

Brick,

You really need to grade the Maloofs and Petrie on this one. They deserve the biggest, fattest,
F

Absolutely. My personal award to the owners and management:

 

[quick dog]

I thought it was a wonderful game.

There is no guarantee of getting a big-time winner in the draft, and trying to lose is seriously wimpy. At this point, my whole season basically rests on our boys knocking Phil, Kobe, and the Lakers out of the playoffs on the last day of the season. Do you want to lose that one too?

Sheesh!

 

[BMiller52]

I thought it was a wonderful game.

There is no guarantee of getting a big-time winner in the draft, and trying to lose is seriously wimpy. At this point, my whole season basically rests on our boys knocking Phil, Kobe, and the Lakers out of the playoffs on the last day of the season. Do you want to lose that one too?

Sheesh!

We CLINCHED their playoff spot today. So no, no matter what THIS GAME SUCKED.

 

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

I thought it was a wonderful game.

There is no guarantee of getting a big-time winner in the draft, and trying to lose is seriously wimpy.

Every time I see someone who's anti-draft refer to the draft as a crapshoot, or something to that effect, I am reminded of what has become my favorite stat in recent months: the Finals MVP has only been someone that wasn't drafted in the Top-10 three times in the history of the NBA (four if you count Moses Malone).

 

[exGrizzly]

Putting this in perspective, I'm assuming we lost four draft positions with this big win. Is that correct? Excellent "theme" choice (to cheer us up) as these guys (and gals?) really messed up their lives/careers in comparision.

 

[fnordius]

Putting this in perspective, I'm assuming we lost four draft positions with this big win. Is that correct? Excellent "theme" choice (to cheer us up) as these guys (and gals?) really messed up their lives/careers in comparision.

It all depends on how other teams do, and how coin flips would have resolved ties. We might have been as early as 5th, but 6th-8th was most likely, if we managed to lose the 3 final games. Right now we are looking at 9th-11th, depending on how the last couple of games go. So saying that we dropped by 3 is safe, but if we would have gotten lucky coin flips, we might have lost more like 5-6.

 

[gunks]

And I wouldnt be surprised to win another before the season is out. Probably against the Hornets.

But thats just because I'm a pessimist. Helps prevent dissapointment.

 

[hoopsfan]

Ooooo...That's cold Slim.

 

[fnordius]

And I wouldnt be surprised to win another before the season is out. Probably against the Hornets.

But thats just because I'm a pessimist. Helps prevent dissapointment.

No point in being pessimistic now, we're in 10th and can't drop below 11th. 12th place belongs to Indiana; for us to catch up with them, even if we won both remaining games, they'd have to lose to Atlanta on Tuesday, and losing to Atlanta is no small feat.

So relax, we've bottomed out, 3/4 of the maximum possible damage has already been done.

 

[piksi]

No point in being pessimistic now, we're in 10th and can't drop below 11th. 12th place belongs to Indiana; for us to catch up with them, even if we won both remaining games, they'd have to lose to Atlanta on Tuesday, and losing to Atlanta is no small feat.

So relax, we've bottomed out, 3/4 of the maximum possible damage has already been done.

and yet we lost by 30 or so

 

[BudWright]

So, you wanted the kids to play (so did I) and they did and they won. Now, you are pissed they won. Some people just can't get happy even if they get what they asked for! Because you don't believe in tanking doesn't mean you are anti-draft. I don't necessarily want to win at this point, but I would be angry if they lost on purpose. After being a King's fan for about 20 years, some of the posts make me cringe. Annie.

 

[fnordius]

and yet we lost by 30 or so

But now Atlanta is in full tank mode, with Joe Johnson, Josh Childress, and Speedy Claxton out for the season, and Salim Stoudamire out for at least the Pacers game. It's going to be Josh Smith, Tyronn Lue and a bunch of total scrubs like Solomon Jones.

We should still bend over backwards to lose both remaining games, of course. Getting back into 9th is still a possibility.

 

[mdme]

maybe the clips purposely lost so that we won't get a better pick in the draft? (since we are in the same conf as them)?

 

[vytzka]

Boy, did we mess this one up.

But on the other hand I must agree with BudWright. And anyway, it seems that we could have started with Price/Douby/Cisco/Williams/Potatohead and still have won.

Oh, and you missed Eddie Griffin

 

[Sptsjunkie]

So, you wanted the kids to play (so did I) and they did and they won. Now, you are pissed they won. Some people just can't get happy even if they get what they asked for! Because you don't believe in tanking doesn't mean you are anti-draft. I don't necessarily want to win at this point, but I would be angry if they lost on purpose. After being a King's fan for about 20 years, some of the posts make me cringe. Annie.

I agree with some of what was said here. While I am actively cheering for us to get the most ping pong balls possible, I wasn't terribley upset over this win. What has driven me crazy is every useless win we have gotten over the last couple of months while playing our mismatched verteran core 40 minutes a game. I see no point in losing our lottery position by proving that Artest, Bibby, Shareef, Miller, etc. can win the occasional game over another mediocre team.

However, we likely are not getting a top two pick and to have hope for the future we will need to pair whatever draft pick we get this year, even someone like Horford, Jilan, etc. with a solid nucleus of talent. Getting a win out of our young players is something to be proud of. Seeing players who could factor into our future like Matrin, Garcia, Douby, Salmons, and Williams play and beat a team desperatley competing for a playoff spot is a good sign for us. While I still would have prefered a loss, this win is much more palatable because it came from our future core and not the underachieving veterans we've been watching all year.

Along these lines, some obervations on the young players today.

Garcia - Another nice game from him today, he's looking like he can be a very high-end role player in the future. As others have said in the past, he has the potential be a poor man's Kirelenko. He's shooting well, making better decisions, plays good man D and very good team D. He still showed very little ability to take his man off of the dribble and create for himself in isolation, which will prevent him from being a star. However, as a complimentary player he is emerging as a real keeper again.

Douby - I liked what I saw today. As Brick mentioned, this certainly was not a great game. He was timid on offense and was hesitant to shoot, opting to pump fake imaginary defenders a few times. However, so were Martin and Garcia at first, so I think this should change with experience. Also, he will need to work on his handles as he seemed to lose control of the ball a couple of times. However, what I liked was that he still contributed in other areas. He played nice man D (Ded up Cassell well). He grabbed a number of boards including the game clincher. He had two blocks, including a coming from out of nowhere block on Mobley that made me jump out of my seat. He looks like the type of fast, long, athletic combo guard we have been missing since Jackson started living on the IR. If he can mature offensively like Martin and Garcia, which would be reasonable given his shooting ability and quickness, he could be a very good player for us, too early to say how good though.

Williams - Decent game, but I was not overly impressed. He looked like he could be a solid bench contributer, but Brand had his was with him. He hustled and had a couple of nice blocks, but I'm not ready to see his upside as being more than a althetic big man off the bench (maybe a Keon Clark if we are very lucky). Based on other assessments, I don't think anyone would disagree with this.

Salmons - Another solid role player. Some great runs mixed with times I nearly forgot he was on the court. He needs to improve his jumper and bulk up a little for next season. If he can hit 3s more consistently he will open up the drive more and as he does he will be able to get more points as he draws fouls well.

Martin - Not his best game today, but as others have said he's simply running out of gas. This is normal for young players, you don't go from playing 20 minutes a game for 60 games to playing 40 minutes a game for 82. We witnessed the same thing happen to Peja his third year and it is a normal pattern for young players. He will be fine next year.

Overall, not a bad win, even if it hurt our draft position.