Crime of the Day - Keep it light-hearted

[VF21]

Here's my nomination for Crime of the Day:

http://wbztv.com/watercooler/local_story_188151230.html

Man Robs NH Bank Disguised As Tree
July 07, 2007

(WBZ) MANCHESTER, NH Police are looking for a man who attempted to disguise himself as a tree and rob a bank in Manchester, New Hampshire Saturday morning.

Police say the suspect used duct tape to attach tree branches onto his body as a form of camouflage. He then walked into the Citizens Bank on Elm Street and demanded money.

No one was hurt in the robbery and no weapons were used, according to police. The bank was closed and police cruisers blocked off the entrances to the bank as officials investigated the incident.

Aside from sporting tree branches, the suspect was also wearing a bluish-colored T-shirt, blue jeans and had thick glasses. He was about 5' 8" tall with a thin build and dark hair.

The tree robber was able to escape with an undisclosed amount of cash.

 

[kennadog]

Whay have I never thought of that? There's so many trees inside a bank, what a perfect disguise.

 

[VF21]

Bet the security guard has some 'splainin' to do about why he let a tree into the bank on ELM Street.

 

[Warhawk]

Bet the security guard has some 'splainin' to do about why he let a tree into the bank on ELM Street.

Maybe the tree had an account there?

 

[kennadog]

Maybe the tree had an account there?

Well, banks do have branches.

 

[VF21]

Okay, while this isn't exactly a crime it did involve the police:

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0927318320070709?feedType=RSS

Man's smelly feet trigger police raid
Mon Jul 9, 2007 12:08PM EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police broke into a darkened apartment fearing they would find a dead body, after neighbors complained of a nasty smell seeping out onto the staircase.

The shutters of the apartment had been closed for more than a week and the mailbox was filled with uncollected mail.

But instead of a corpse, they found a tenant with very smelly feet, asleep in bed next to a pile of foul-smelling laundry, police in the southwestern town of Kaiserslautern said on Sunday.

 

[Warhawk]

Something to keep you all entertained (videos, sorry if they take a lot of time for you, VF):

http://www.auslandsjahr.eu/2007/07/06/top-10-dumb-thieves/

 

[kennadog]

Okay, while this isn't exactly a crime it did involve the police:

Man's smelly feet trigger police raid
Mon Jul 9, 2007 12:08PM EDT

Dang, that is some smelly feet! Yuck!

 

[VF21]

And now...

...today's nominee, in both the "dumber than a box of rocks" AND "some people will never learn" categories, is...

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-ex-lohan24jul24,0,2835298.story?coll=la-home-local

Lindsay Lohan is arrested again
The actress' lawyer says 'addiction is a terrible and vicious disease.'
By Richard Winton and Andrew Blankstein, Times Staff Writers
11:30 AM PDT, July 24, 2007

Actress Lindsay Lohan, who was recently released from an alcohol rehabilitation facility, was arrested in Santa Monica early today on suspicion of drunken driving and possession of cocaine, police said.

Lohan, already facing a drunken-driving charge in Beverly Hills, was stopped in the 1800 block of Main Street near the police station after officers said the mother of Lohan's assistant reported a car chase, Lt. Alex Padilla said. Lohan, 21, was allegedly chasing the assistant's mother, and the woman feared for her safety, Padilla said.

Lohan refused a sobriety test at the scene but was tested at the station, he said. The test found her blood alcohol between .12 and .13, he said. California's legal limit is .08.

The actress was booked on two misdemeanor charges of suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving on a suspended license and two felony charges of possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, police said.

"While in the jail, officers found a small amount of cocaine," Padilla said, adding that the drug was found in Lohan's pocket.

Lohan's lawyer, Blair Berk, said: "Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay's transition to outpatient care, she has been monitored on [an alcohol detection] bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing company. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

Lohan was released at 6:20 a.m. after posting $25,000 bond, police said. The incident occurred about 1:35 a.m. when the assistant's mother, driving a black Cadillac Escalade sport utility vehicle, told police that she was being chased by a white Denali SUV.

There were two passengers in Lohan's SUV. There were three people in the Cadillac, police said.

The actress is to appear in Los Angeles County Superior Court on Aug. 24.

Lohan was scheduled to be on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" tonight.

Lohan turned herself in last week to Beverly Hills police to face a driving under the influence charge in connection with a Memorial Day weekend hit-and-run crash.

The actress and two other adults were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible when she lost control and crashed into a curb and shrubs on Sunset Boulevard on May 26, police said.

Lohan got into a second car and was driven to a hospital in Century City for minor injuries, police said. The others in her car were not hurt.

This month, Lohan checked out of a rehabilitation center after more than six weeks of treatment. In January, she also checked into rehab for substance abuse treatment.

 

[kennadog]

^^ I'm all in favor of getting people treatment, but at a certain point, you just need to lock them up, period. People don't deserve never-ending opportunities to receive treatment and straighten their lives out, not when they are risking the lives of everyone sharing the road with them.

 

[hoopsfan]

Gee...didn't Pris serve jail time for a suspended license?? Lohan has that and multiple DUI's and 2 felony drug counts???

How much $ will it take for her to get out of this??

 

[And1]

Sorry...I don't know if this has been posted anywhere yet, but it definitely qualifies for the crime of the day. I don't have a link since it was passed to me through email.


A Gate-Crasher's Change of Heart
The Guests Were Enjoying French Wine and Cheese on a Capitol Hill Patio. When a Gunman Burst In, the Would-Be Robbery Took an Unusual Turn.
By Allison Klein
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, July 13, 2007; Page B01

A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.

"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.

The five other guests, including the girls' parents, froze -- and then one spoke.
"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, blurted out. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"

The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, "Damn, that's good wine."

The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, who described the harrowing evening in an interview, told the intruder, described as being in his 20s, to take the whole glass. Rowan offered him the bottle. The would-be robber, his hood now down, took another sip and had a bite of Camembert cheese that was on the table.

Then he tucked the gun into the pocket of his nylon sweatpants.

"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, looking around the patio of the home in the 1300 block of Constitution Avenue NE.

"I'm sorry," he told the group. "Can I get a hug?"

Rowan, who lives in Falls Church and works part time at her children's school, stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Then it was Rabdau's turn. Then his wife's. The other two guests complied.

"That's really good wine," the man said, taking another sip. He had a final request: "Can we have a group hug?"

The five adults surrounded him, arms out.

With that, the man walked out with a crystal wine glass in hand, filled with Chateau Malescot. No one was hurt, and nothing was stolen.

The homeowner, Xavier Cervera, 45, had gone out to walk his dog at the end of the party and missed the incident, which happened about midnight June 16. Police classified the case as strange but true and said they had not located a suspect.

"We believe it is a true robbery," said Cmdr. Diane Groomes, who is in charge of patrols in the Capitol Hill area. But it's one-of-a-kind, she said, adding, "I've never heard of a robber joining a party and then walking out to the sunset."

The hug, she said, was especially unusual. "They should have squeezed him and held onto him for us," she said.

Rabdau said he hasn't been able to figure out what happened.

"I was definitely expecting there would be some kind of casualty," Rabdau said this week. "He was very aggressive at first; then it turned into a love fest. I don't know what it was."

Rabdau, a federal government worker who lives in Anne Arundel County with his family and lived on Capitol Hill with his wife in the 1980s, said that the episode lasted about 10 minutes but seemed like an hour. He believes the guests were spared because they kept a positive attitude during the exchange.

"There was this degree of disbelief and terror at the same time," Rabdau said. "Then it miraculously just changed. His whole emotional tone turned -- like, we're one big happy family now. I thought: Was it the wine? Was it the cheese?"

After the intruder left, the guests walked inside the house, locked the door and stared at each other. They didn't say a word. Rabdau dialed 911. Police arrived quickly and took a report. They also dusted for fingerprints -- so far, to no avail.

In the alley behind the home, investigators found the intruder's empty crystal wine glass on the ground, unbroken.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/12/AR2007071202356.html

 

[kingsfan916]

WTH? thats just crazy

 

[Warhawk]

'Duct Tape Bandit' Hits Kentucky Liquor Store

http://www.officer.com/web/online/T...ape-Bandit-Hits-Kentucky-Liquor-Store/1$37378

Courtesy of WSAZ-TV
Click Here to View Video
Robbery is a serious problem for retail stores across our region. But the employees of Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky, can't stop laughing about what happened last Friday at the store along 13th street.
Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face.
Fortunately, store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store.
Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke positiion until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped.
Kazee said in a jailhouse interview today police got the wrong man and Kazee says he has no memory of going in to the liquor store. He also says he has no memory of police removing the duct tape.
We asked Kazee how he could deny being the duct tape bandit even though police have photos showing Kazee with the duct tape on and then a photo where Kazee's face is revealed.
Kazee looked straight at the camera and said, "Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?"
Miller says Kazee also had a t-shirt pulled up around his head during the robbery attempt. Miller says it reminded him of the "Cornholio" character from the "Beavis and Butthead" cartoon.
Steele says Kazee did get away with two rolls of change before Steele could grab his club. Police found much of that change in the parking lot.

 

[VF21]

http://www.officer.com/web/online/T...ape-Bandit-Hits-Kentucky-Liquor-Store/1$37378

Courtesy of WSAZ-TV
Click Here to View Video
Robbery is a serious problem for retail stores across our region. But the employees of Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky, can't stop laughing about what happened last Friday at the store along 13th street.
Police say Kasey Kazee walked in to the store with duct tape wrapped around his head to conceal his face.
Fortunately, store manager Bill Steele had some duct tape of his own. Steel had a wooden club wrapped with duct tape that eventually sent the suspect fleeing the store.
Store employee Craig Miller says he chased Kazee to the parking lot, tackled him and held him in a choke positiion until police arrived. An unidentified customer also helped.
Kazee said in a jailhouse interview today police got the wrong man and Kazee says he has no memory of going in to the liquor store. He also says he has no memory of police removing the duct tape.
We asked Kazee how he could deny being the duct tape bandit even though police have photos showing Kazee with the duct tape on and then a photo where Kazee's face is revealed.
Kazee looked straight at the camera and said, "Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?"
Miller says Kazee also had a t-shirt pulled up around his head during the robbery attempt. Miller says it reminded him of the "Cornholio" character from the "Beavis and Butthead" cartoon.
Steele says Kazee did get away with two rolls of change before Steele could grab his club. Police found much of that change in the parking lot.

Oh... my.

 

[vj9999]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20282285/

You’d better believe he called for backup

Nevada deputy twice arrests a colleague on DUI charge — his own wife

Updated: 12:48 p.m. CT Aug 15, 2007
ELKO, Nev. - This might make for a tense time at home.

An off-duty sheriff's deputy was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence — by her husband, a fellow deputy.
Charlotte Moore, 36, a jail deputy and 11-year veteran, was driving her 2004 Pontiac Grand Am when she was pulled over by her husband, Elko County Sheriff's Deputy Mike Moore, a police report said.
She allegedly left before being administered a portable Breathalyzer test, the Elko Daily Free Press reported.
Mike Moore pulled her over again and called the Elko Police Department for backup. He left shortly after officer Shane Daz arrived. Elko Police Department Sgt. Mark Butterfield also was on scene.
Charlotte Moore was released at 1:47 a.m. on Sunday and placed on paid administrative leave, Elko County Undersheriff Rocky Gonzalez said.
Mike Moore was following procedure when he asked for backup, Gonzalez told the newspaper. The sheriff's office supports the police department's actions, he said.
Neither Mike nor Charlotte Moore was available for comment, the Elko Daily Free Press said.
Charlotte Moore reportedly had been drinking approximately two hours earlier at a downtown business group's wine walk, the newspaper said.

 

[VF21]

Okay, I'm guessing this is not gonna strengthen their relationship...

 

[Warhawk]

Okay, I'm guessing this is not gonna strengthen their relationship...

I don't think this one will, either :

Wife of Michigan Sheriff's Deputy Charged With Prostitution

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293598,00.html

DETROIT — The wife of an Oakland County sheriff's deputy has been charged with prostitution and using the Internet to solicit her services for $250 an hour, authorities said.
Christy Newlin, 45, of Waterford Township, is free on bond after being arraigned in two district courts this week on charges that included keeping a house of prostitution and using a computer to commit prostitution. Newlin, married to sheriff's department veteran Randy Newlin, faces a preliminary examination Monday.
Sheriff Michael Bouchard said Randy Newlin has not been disciplined, The Detroit News and Detroit Free Press reported Friday.
"I often receive ... anonymous tips regarding criminal activity of citizens, and this one, unfortunately, concerned alleged activity of the wife of one of my officers and, more unfortunately, proved to be true," Bouchard told The News.
Bouchard said he started the investigation this summer but would not provide specifics of the probe. No one else has been charged in the incidents.
Assistant Prosecutor Edward Cibor said investigators believe the activities occurred during a 12-year period. She advertised that she was available three days a week for $250 an hour and appointments could be made through the Web site, he said.
Newlin met customers at several suburban motels and told workers she was a pharmaceutical sales representative who would have clients visiting her, Cibor said.

 

[Ryle]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20282285/

You’d better believe he called for backup

Nevada deputy twice arrests a colleague on DUI charge — his own wife

Updated: 12:48 p.m. CT Aug 15, 2007
ELKO, Nev. - This might make for a tense time at home.

An off-duty sheriff's deputy was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence — by her husband, a fellow deputy.
Charlotte Moore, 36, a jail deputy and 11-year veteran, was driving her 2004 Pontiac Grand Am when she was pulled over by her husband, Elko County Sheriff's Deputy Mike Moore, a police report said.
She allegedly left before being administered a portable Breathalyzer test, the Elko Daily Free Press reported.
Mike Moore pulled her over again and called the Elko Police Department for backup. He left shortly after officer Shane Daz arrived. Elko Police Department Sgt. Mark Butterfield also was on scene.
Charlotte Moore was released at 1:47 a.m. on Sunday and placed on paid administrative leave, Elko County Undersheriff Rocky Gonzalez said.
Mike Moore was following procedure when he asked for backup, Gonzalez told the newspaper. The sheriff's office supports the police department's actions, he said.
Neither Mike nor Charlotte Moore was available for comment, the Elko Daily Free Press said.
Charlotte Moore reportedly had been drinking approximately two hours earlier at a downtown business group's wine walk, the newspaper said.

This just doesn't make sense unless they are seperated or going through a divorce. I would just put my wife in the back of the car and take her home.....

 

[VF21]

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddl...0070817?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews

Priest fined for early morning bell-ringing
Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:55AM EDT

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch priest has been fined 5,000 euros ($6,800) for ringing his church bells too loudly in the morning.

The Catholic priest began ringing the bells at just after seven in the morning soon after arriving in Tilburg about six months ago, a spokesman for the town council said.

This prompted dozens of complaints from residents and the council in the southern town agreed the priest was breaking the rules.

"The priest can ring his bells whenever he likes but he has to keep within noise regulations. People don't appreciate it," the spokesman said.

The priest risks further fines if he continues.

"We are still trying to find ways to make him stop," the spokesman said.

 

[VF21]

http://www.dumbcrooks.com/fleeing-thief-shoots-self-in-groin/

Fleeing Thief Shoots Self In Groin

A suspect fleeing from cops in Sandy, Utah, was making an exceptional getaway when he badly let himself down. He shot himself, well, let’s just say where the sun don’t shine.

The unidentified man was on the run from these officers, who gave chase after he bolted from them in a convenience store there around 3:00 AM on August 18.

Police first tried to pull the man’s car over, then chased him on foot after he abandoned the vehicle, Sergeant Victor Quezada said.

He was doing wonderfully hopping a fence in an attempt to evade the police, when it all went painfully wrong. As he jumped the fence, he somehow managed to discharge his gun right into his family jewels.

He was taken to the hospital.

The cops discovered that the car that the man had been driving was stolen, and they also recovered stolen checks, burglary paraphernalia and some methamphetamine.

 

[Warhawk]

Nice.

Maybe this way he won't reproduce?

 

[Warhawk]

Cops: Naked Lady Assaulted Women With Hammer

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293950,00.html

DES MOINES, Iowa — A woman who police say assaulted people with a hammer while she was naked was arrested on a variety of charges, including assault and obstruction of emergency communications.
Satin Delfrano, 32, of Des Moines was arrested on Sunday after police were called to a complaint of a woman armed with a hammer assaulting three other women.
Officers went to an upstairs bedroom and found Delfrano.
They allowed her to get dressed and then handcuffed her and led her outside.
Delfrano tried to walk away on her knees and kicked an officer in the leg, injuring the officer, police said.
Delfrano also was charged with assault of a police officer, third-degree criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.

 

[Warhawk]

Bill Murray: Drunken driving in a golf cart?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/08/22/people.billmurray.ap/index.html

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) -- Bill Murray could face a drunken driving charge after cruising through downtown Stockholm in a golf cart and refusing to take a breath test, citing U.S. law.

Bill Murray rides in a golf cart in 1999. Stockholm police say he was riding through downtown in such a vehicle.

Police officers spotted the 56-year-old actor-comedian early Sunday in the slow-moving vehicle and noticed he smelled of alcohol when they pulled him over, said Detective-Inspector Christer Holmlund of the Stockholm police.
"He refused to blow in the (breath test) instrument, citing American legislation," Holmlund told The Associated Press on Wednesday. "So we applied the old method -- a blood test. It will take 14 days before the results are in."
Murray, who had been at a golf tournament in Sweden, signed a document admitting that he was driving under the influence, and agreed to let a police officer plead guilty for him if the case goes to court, Holmlund said.
"Then he was let go. My guess is he went back to America," Holmlund said.
He said Murray would only be charged if tests show his blood alcohol level exceeded the legal limit, which is quite low in Sweden.
A very high alcohol level could lead to a prison sentence, but Holmlund said fines were more likely.
"There were no obvious signs, like when someone is really tipsy," he said.
Holmlund said it wasn't clear where Murray picked up the vehicle, or to whom it belonged.
"It was a golf cart. How it ended up in this predicament I don't know," he said, adding that Murray wasn't facing any theft charges.
It isn't illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but Holmlund said it is very unusual.
"I have done this since '68 and I've never experienced anything like this," he said.
Murray was among the early cast members of NBC's "Saturday Night Live." He was nominated for an Oscar for 2003's "Lost in Translation." His screen credits also include the 1980 golfing comedy, "Caddyshack"; "Groundhog Day"; and "Rushmore."

 

[StevenHW]

That sounds like you'd see in that "Caddyshack" movie!

 

[Warhawk]

Arizona Woman Allegedly Stabs Estranged Husband During Sex

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,294230,00.html

MESA, Ariz. — An Arizona woman has been charged with suspicion of (I think it should be "attempted", as he apparently is alive in serious condition) first-degree murder after allegedly stabbing her estranged husband in the chest during sex, MyFOXPhoenix.com reports.
Falon Gonzales, 23, was released on $100,000 bond after being booked Tuesday night, according to the report.
Her husband, Juan Carlos Gonzales, 26, fled to neighbor Tony Ballard's home on West Stanford Avenue in Gilbert, Ariz., after the attack.
"I've never had a naked man run to my house bleeding, you know what I mean?" Ballard told MyFOXPhoenix.com.
Ballard told MyFOXPhoenix.com that the couple was in the middle of sex when the alleged attack occurred.
"She was on top and she reached out of a bag and pulled a knife out of a bag and drove it into his chest," Ballard said of the incident.
"She apologized first," the neighbor told MyFOXPhoenix.com. "She said 'Juan, I'm sorry about this.'"
Juan Carlos Gonzales was transported to Scottsdale Osborn Healthcare hospital with a collapsed lung and was listed in serious condition.
Authorities said Juan Gonzales moved out of the couple's home about a month ago and asked to meet his wife and a home appraiser Tuesday afternoon. He later showed Falon Gonzales dissolution of marriage papers.
Falon Gonzales told police that she hid a kitchen knife in a duffel bag at the home with a plan to harm her husband and stabbed him with it after luring him into the bathroom.

 

[Warhawk]

Boy in court for throwing sausage

http://today.reuters.com/news/artic...01_L22252890_RTRUKOC_0_US-BRITAIN-SAUSAGE.xml

LONDON (Reuters) - A 12-year-old British boy appeared in court Wednesday charged with assault for throwing a sausage at a pensioner, police said.
The boy's mother described the decision to charge her son as "an absolute joke," although police said they had no choice.
The youth, who can't be named, was arrested after a 74-year-old man reported him to police for throwing a stone in Manchester, northern England.
The object turned out to be a cocktail sausage.


"Charging was the only option because the boy had previously been issued with three reprimands on separate occasions," a Greater Manchester Police spokeswoman said.
Police and prosecutors have launched a joint review of the case after a judge at Manchester Youth Court reportedly urged them to reconsider.
"If he has done what was suggested it is very bad behavior," District Judge Tim Devas was reported as saying in the Manchester Evening News. "But is it in the public interest to prosecute a 12-year-old boy who threw a sausage?"
The boy's mother said her son was worried he might be sent to prison.

 

[StevenHW]

Utah Police Chief's Stripper Wife Busted

A 39 year-old stripper is busted for selling drugs. Ironically, the stripper's stage name is "Ecstasy"!

If that wasn't interesting enough, get this: her husband is the local police chief!

http://www.officer.com/web/online/Top-News-Stories/Utah-Chiefs-Stripper-Wife-Busted/1$37521

 

[VF21]

Just a reminder - keep the stuff light-hearted...and appropriate.

Thanks.

 

[kennadog]

"I've never had a naked man run to my house bleeding, you know what I mean?" Ballard told MyFOXPhoenix.com.

"She apologized first," the neighbor told MyFOXPhoenix.com. "She said 'Juan, I'm sorry about this.'"

These two lines just cracked me up..... To the first comment...I don't think it's just a rare event for you, guy.

To the second....bet she would have flunked a lie detector test.