What Hank Said - A Compilation in 2021-22

V

vladtheimpaler

G-League
#1
#1
i listen to the pre-game show(s) while i am watering the plants and tonight i started taping the show.

because i just think that henry turner may be a modern day yogi berra (without the all-world talent).

scott marsh anchors the first part (1 hour) of pre-game. the "highflyer" calls him "scooter". so scott calls him "hank".

honestly, turner does not seem like a "hank" hank bauer was a "hank" (can you imagine, "henry bauer crashes into the right field wall but makes the catch"?)

but, "scooter" calls him "hank", so i titled the thread thusly.

now, henry turner only played 66 nba games (1 start), half in 1989-90 in sac and then (after four years in italy, spain and greece) the other half with the 94-95 kings.

as such, basketball reference does not list a "nickname" but he assures us he was known as "the high flyer".

he's quite competent when he has prepared notes (which he did before game 1 in portland)

sure, there are some obvious statements ("Defense is a want thing - defense is a will thing") but it's when he goes off script, searching for the right words, that he strays into yogi territory.

i first became aware of this when marvin bagley's injury was announced (that ended his season last year).

henry's reaction: "my hat goes off to that young man"

(of course, he MEANT "my heart goes out...")

last night, he said (regarding the 4-0 exhibition record), "i usually don't put any stock in the exhibition record, but you can't wash that away or push it under the rug"

ok, close (at least)

this ends the preamble introducing this thread - and now to "What Hank said":

----------------------------------------------------------------------

(this was obviously prepared, not "off the cuff"):

scott set him up with a question about harrison barnes and here is how hank replied:

"I'm going to start calling him the Statue of Liberty because through rain, sleet, snow, earthquakes, bombs, he's still going to be standing there with his hand held high".

-------------------------------------------------------

analysis:

so, you are comparing harrison barnes to a woman or a statue.

where i come from, if you refer to a basketball player as a "statue", it means he don't play no "D".

and he's not a woman.

where the "earthquake" and "bombs" came from, only the inside of henry's head could tell you.

if i'm guessing, i'm thinking "earthquake" is there because henry made his first nba appearance a couple of weeks after the sf earthquake of 1989.

"bombs", i dunno - maybe the WTC bombing (somewhat near the Statue)?

or maybe henry worked for the post office - "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"

since i am completely old school, i have no idea if these pregame shows are archived and retrievable (does anyone know?), but, because these hankisms will likely get weirder and weirder as he goes off the cuff on back to back nights with little time for preparation, i will keep the tape available to play for anyone who doubts, "did he really SAY that?" and you can call me evenings at 209-772-0704 to hear the most recent henryism.

i'll see if i can keep this up for the entire season, but others are free to include what they hear.

\
 
Section 101

Section 101

All-Star
#2
#2
Lol. I became friends with him in 94/95 season. He's like that off the air too. If you were paying attention to his favorite topic outside basketball thats how we met.
 
V

vladtheimpaler

G-League
#4
#4
Game 2 - home loss to Utah 101-110


Scott and Henry (or, "Scooter and Hank") begin each show (Game Night) reviewing the prior game (which in this case was the win in Portland)

Henry, reviewing Davion Mitchell's performance:

"He's been very solid since he stepped his foot into Sacramento" (probably meant, "...set foot...").

Henry, assessing Tyrese Haliburton in the same game (specifically, the end of game turnover that could have changed the outcome of the game):

"But he didn't hold his head down - I'm fine with that".

(not sure exactly HOW to hold my head down - do i press forward, just above the back of my neck with one hand or do i place both hands on the very top of my head and push straight down?)


then Scooter and Hank do an "around the league" segment.

in this case, they also discuss the new additions to what is now "The 75 (actually 76 - there was a tie for the last spot) Greatest NBA Players Ever.

Henry appears to be unclear about the concept, as though he were napping in 1996 when they unveiled the "50 Greatest Players".

His first reply (after Scott reads the list): "Man it sounds like that list was made by some youngster who thinks the NBA began in 1990 - there's a lot of great players came through this league".

Scott gently explains that the older players have already been inducted (in 1996 - actually, they used two of the current selections on players who didn't make the cut in '96 - Dominique Wilkins and Bob MacAdoo) and Henry says, "I'll have to dissect that list".

Henry then settles on, "Those guys that are still playing, they shouldn't be on that list until they retire" (perhaps unaware that they would have to wait 25 years to be recognized).

He has a point, but if I recall correctly, Shaq was selected in 1996 even though he was still playing (as was Michael Jordan). But that is one or two guys - there are 11 of the new 26 who are still active (and some active players - notably Klay Thompson and Dwight Howard - who feel like they should have been included).

Then they discuss the situation in Philadelphia.

Scott sets it up:

""More Ben Simmons news today - He told the 76ers he's not mentally ready to play..."

Henry interrupts: "Oh - he went there did he?"

Scott: "... so he's not playing tonight..."

Henry cuts in again: "So, he went there, OK" (and starts chuckling as Scott talks),

Scott: "There's a lot going on with that, because Henry, obviously (Hank still chuckling as Scott talks) in light of some of the things we've seen recently in sports with Naomi Osaka in tennis and we saw what happened with Simone Biles in gymnastics and now, uh, you know, the situation unfolding with Ben Simmons, so we know he will not play but the team has come out and said that they're going to give him all the resources he needs to take care of the situation ("Right" interjects Henry) to, uh, and Embid has come out and said, 'Hopefully we can get this situation resolved now' and so they're saying - and I don't know if they're spinning it - but they're saying that this could be a positive thing that gets Ben Simmons eventually back with the 76ers but I'm thinking like you that the way things have gone so far between Simmons and the team, uh, is he just throwing it out there? And I even hate saying that because it's a serious situation but based on how things have gone between Ben Simmons and the team, obviously you do have to question that a little bit or at least think that..."

<< and now for a personal interjection, before Henry throws Scott under the bus and then seemingly pulls him out from under - to this point, Hank's (two), "Oh, he went there"(s) and his background chuckling has given me the distinct impression that Henry is not buying Ben's attempt to make himself, if not the 'good guy" at least the guy who deserves some compassion... and if anyone wants to hear the words as they were spoken (including this next part), i have the tape cued to this exchange and will gladly play it for you over the phone, if you so choose (and if anyone knows if these pregame shows are archived somewhere, please let me know where) - and now, to Henry's circuitous reply to Scott's set-up:>>


Henry: "Well, it will be inklings of that out there, thinking about that (these ARE his actual words) but I would try to do this - I would try to take the high road and say he's legitimate in what he's talking about, because if you take that road and it's not legitimate, Scott, that shows a lot about your character - that's something that shouldn't even be played with, not even joked with because it's such a serious type of situation right now, in today's sports (Scott: "Absolutely"). So, Ben Simmons, hat off to you man, do whatever it is you gotta do to get your mind back right, get your psyche back right, but, if that's not what's goin' on with you, shame on you."

Scott: "You said that so well, I'll leave it at that".

<< so, do you think Henry BELIEVES Ben Simmons or not?>>

i never intended to post such a long back and forth. I started this thread because Henry may be the modern day Yogi Berra the way he uses words somewhat interchangeably and I intended this to be merely phrases or sentences he uses in the pregame show.

an insightful Hank opinion (stated simply - no malaprops):

Scott: "Donovan Mitchell is a star in this league - but is he a superstar?"

Henry: "Yes - Donovan Mitchell is the modern day Dwayne Wade."

I will conclude with another example of Henry's Yogiisms:

But it did not occur with Scott in the hour of Game Night (with Scooter and Hank).

It happened in the last half hour before tipoff when Henry stays and Scott leaves, replaced by Gary Gerrold and Jason Ross (Kings Live).

So, let me wrap up the first hour with two observations:

1) Scott/Henry talked a lot about Marvin Bagley's need to "stay ready" (even though out of the rotation). Scott/Henry apparently did not know that Harkless was going to sit out, meaning, Marvin gets some minutes immediately.

2) throughout the hour, Scott continued to give the phone number and urged listeners to call in. No one did. KHTK has apparently gone off the "talk show" format in the afternoons, no longer taking phone calls. I wonder if they have abandoned the "call-in" format completely - but no one told Scott.

And when asked about Utah in this last segment of Kings Live, by Jason Ross, here is how Henry replied:

"Utah is what the Sacramento Kings strive to be. They are a legitimate playoff bound championship contending team. They play multitude styles of basketball (yes, i checked the tape - I think he meant "multiple" - but that's not the Yogiism). They can play the new jack style, up and down, and then, they can go to the old school basketball. They have a legitimate point, a legitimate two. Then they can go to the quote unquote stretch fours, the threes and a legitimate big man down low.to where they can play with an inside presence. (Here it comes, Yogi). So, basically, Utah has all 31 flavors - just pick your poison when you want to play against these guys:.

hmmmm.

i see you are out of poisonberry today, so can i get a double scoop of hemlock fudge?
 
N

New Era

Starter
#6
#6
I'm entertained by this, but what's the over/under on how long before it's locked? I'd have to agree on Turner though....I feel like he talks a lot but I never have any idea what he's talking about. It's like 50 cliches all bundled up into one long run-on sentence.
 
V

vladtheimpaler

G-League
#9
#9
Game 3 home loss to Utah 107-119

very brief today, since i'm sensing some negativity and may let this drop (my own belief is that "the more topics, the merrier" but some apparently feel differently)

last night, Scott was missing, so Jason did the whole hour (actually 40 minutes because of raider game) of Game Night with henry (he does NOT call him "hank") and then Jason, Gary and Henry did the half hour Kings Live.

(I hope the weather kept Scott away - and not his venture into ben simmons territory on friday)

maybe it is the way that scott asks open ended questions that allow henry to riff, whereas jason is more like a guy with a list of questions he has devised in advance and needs shorter answers so as to move to the next question on his list, but henry was almost malaprop free on sunday.

about the only weird moment was when henry began a sentence about looking in the mirror but after he said "you have to wake up and start looking in the glass mirror", i got a little insight into how his mind works:

he says "looking" and knows he wants to finish with "mirror" but he also knows that a mirror is often referred to as a "looking glass", so, he just tosses it all out there and winds up with "... looking in the glass mirror" (aren't ALL mirrors made of glass?)

the only other surprise was when he referred to beli as being "6'8" or 6'9" tall". beli is a solid 6'10" and really, he was here long enough for someone to know that.

next game is wednesday, but if scott isn't back, or if henry is less like yogi than previously, i'll just let this thread quietly melt into the sea
 
Telemachus

Telemachus

Starter
#10
#10
vladtheimpaler said:
Game 3 home loss to Utah 107-119

very brief today, since i'm sensing some negativity and may let this drop (my own belief is that "the more topics, the merrier" but some apparently feel differently)

last night, Scott was missing, so Jason did the whole hour (actually 40 minutes because of raider game) of Game Night with henry (he does NOT call him "hank") and then Jason, Gary and Henry did the half hour Kings Live.

(I hope the weather kept Scott away - and not his venture into ben simmons territory on friday)

maybe it is the way that scott asks open ended questions that allow henry to riff, whereas jason is more like a guy with a list of questions he has devised in advance and needs shorter answers so as to move to the next question on his list, but henry was almost malaprop free on sunday.

about the only weird moment was when henry began a sentence about looking in the mirror but after he said "you have to wake up and start looking in the glass mirror", i got a little insight into how his mind works:

he says "looking" and knows he wants to finish with "mirror" but he also knows that a mirror is often referred to as a "looking glass", so, he just tosses it all out there and winds up with "... looking in the glass mirror" (aren't ALL mirrors made of glass?)

the only other surprise was when he referred to beli as being "6'8" or 6'9" tall". beli is a solid 6'10" and really, he was here long enough for someone to know that.

next game is wednesday, but if scott isn't back, or if henry is less like yogi than previously, i'll just let this thread quietly melt into the sea
Click to expand...
Beli is listed at 6'9.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.