MBF's Guide to Picking the Winning Mascot

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Sunday, Dec. 16
Arizona at New Orleans-Cardinals and Saints?-More good versus evilish. Sure, I know this analytical slant has not always been the best or worked out as I thought it would. And sure THAT may be due to the fact that I take poetic license with what I consider “evil” or “evilish” but I also admitted some time ago to being stubborn. SAINTS

Atlanta at Tampa Bay-Falcons and Buccaneers? Pirates from the bay of Tampa try to ward off a bunch of baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds. Bad birds I reckon which may actually have a bad bird chip on their shoulder. That reaching for their inner bird of prey could allow them to go Hitchcock on the pirates, but the pirates have a cannon. BUCCANEERS.

Baltimore at Miami-Ravens and Dolphins-Hmmm, this one in tough. I truly wrestled with this one because both of these mascots have struggled against everybody as of late or period. I really liked Flipper’s chances since Flipper is in is home lap tank and all. But the yapping the big black bird can do? It can jam up sonar and Flipper may have a hard time navigating as a result. Sure I’m stretching to find a way for either of these mascots to get over on the other, but I must work with what I’m given. RAVENS

Buffalo at Cleveland-Bills and Browns? Buffadudes will try to get Brown to do for them as much as Brown has done for me lately. Good luck with that buffadudes. The morphing? Not a problem for Brown because as a leading shipper/deliverer and otherwise doforme-er? Brown is adept and can quickly change shipping technique despite the quick change. Going from buffalo to dude with gun, Brown simply will just need to add more packing popcorn to the buffalo sized box to adjust to the change in size of the object being shipped. BROWNS

Green Bay at St. Louis-Packers and Rams? Packing dudes and an animal? Ok, so they are away from the home plant, I’m not sure it matters. As I think I’ve mentioned earlier this season, once you have packing skillz, you always have packing skillz and can use them wherever you are and whatever situation you find yourself…sorta like riding a bike, those skills never leave you. PACKERS

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh-Jaguars and Steelers? Yaguara and the dudes with the furness. Goodness knows I like yaguara and its ferocity and power but the dudes with the furness and the hot molten stuff? That’s a lot of power in and of itself, and yaguara knows not to play with or around hot things. STEELERS

N.Y. Jets at New England-Jets and Patriots? Man, this anachronistic battle seems familiar, like sorta earlier in the season familiar. No reason to change philosophy from the last time I looked at this. PATRIOTS

Seattle at Carolina-Seahawks and Panthers? Bird migrates east to play a cat. That’s just dumb sounding huh? I would be dumb if it were an ordinary bird, but we’re talking about a piratey bird. Skua will pillage from the helpless cat and fly back to its home roost no worse for the wear. SEAHAWKS

Tennessee at Kansas City-Titans and Chiefs? This matchup made me ponder WWHHD? Harry Hamlins have the advantage of having clashed with other powerful folk, indigenous people may just be another combatant left in the Harry Hamlins’ wake. TITANS

Indianapolis at Oakland-Colts and Raiders? Pirates could very well attempt to pillage the power of the horseshoe. But that just seems like pulling a sword from a stone, many attempt it but rarely manage to do it. COLTS

Detroit at San Diego-Lions and Chargers? Lions against the forces of nature. I remember stories about cowardly lions, and the sound of thunder will make it scamper. Even if this lion isn’t cowardly, a little nip on the butt with a bit of voltage will make it respect the power that is the bolt of lightning. CHARGERS

Philadelphia at Dallas-Eagles and Cowboys? Dude with a gun against a bird. Sure the bird has weapons, but seriously, the dude has guns. COWBOYS

Washington at N.Y. Giants-Redskins and Giants? Hmmmmmmmmm. I’m going the tall dudes here this week simply because they’re home and the beanstalk advantage rarely fails. GIANTS

Monday, Dec. 17
Chicago at Minnesota-Bears and Vikings? Wooo, I like what VF had to say, bears against dudes who wear bear skins. I think the norsemen see a bonanza on the horizon. VIKINGS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 16

(viva vacation! )

Thursday, Dec. 20
Pittsburgh at St. Louis-Steelers and Rams? Dudes with hot molten stuff against the fleece wearing animals. Both our combantants like warmth and would like nothing better than to stay that way. The furness is on the road and that travel may make it hard for the dudes to find fuel, while our intrepid sheep carry layers. I still think the biped wins out simply because they’ve well, have a furness and opposable thumbs with which to operate it. STEELERS

Saturday, Dec. 22
Dallas at Carolina-Cowboys and Panthers. More hunters and prey. I know I call this a slam dunk, and I’d like to think most of the time I slam dunk something on the basis of some wacky thought I might have, it works. But I’m also a realist and know I suck at the slam dunk analysis. But I’m also still stubborn. COWBOYS

Sunday, Dec. 23
Cleveland at Cincinnati-Browns and Bengals. Oh boy. Brown is going to do for me against the hapless cat I’ve tried to get to do for me all season. I’m not even going to waste my time on this one. We saw how this went before and it will go that way again. BROWNS

Green Bay at Chicago-Packers and Bears? Speaking of things we saw happen before…remember THIS one? I sure freaking do. That bear is STILL chuckling about how it got out of the plant just before the canning process started. I think the palletization happens properly this time since the dudes with the shrinkwrap don’t want to be embarrassed again. PACKERS

Houston at Indianapolis-Texans and Colts? Baby horsies are home with their (allegedly amplified) horseshoes in full effect. Sure the Texans ride horses and probably would like nothing better than to tame and ride these horsies like the did before. Um…the power of the shoe people, it’s potent and much more so when they are on their home range where it converges sorta like it’s amplified (allegedly). COLTS

Kansas City at Detroit-Chiefs and Lions? Indigenous peoples against some not so indigenous animals. However it is king on king/chief if you will. Den matters. LIONS
N.Y. Giants at Buffalo-Giants and Bills? Man, this one is tough sorta. I mean tall dudes and buffadudes? I can see this hinging on where this match takes place. Giants are a lumbering sort, and lumbering and an opponent that can morph, not a good matchup if you lumber. Here’s where that quick change agility can come in handy. BILLS


Oakland at Jacksonville-Raiders and Jaguars? Interesting, the east bay pirates come east while the east coast pirates go west. Who’da thought that? Well, my favorite mascot yaguara is lying in wait. East bayers beat a lion, but they ain’t faced something as crafty as yaguara. There isn’t going to be anything to steal, what are they going to make off with? ferocity and power? No way, you better bring that to the fight and not be looking to steal it when you step into yaguara’s habitat. This may not be pretty. JAGUARS

Philadelphia at New Orleans-Eagles and Saints? Miracle men and the national symbol packing arrows and bolts? Since I think the miracle men can lay claim perhaps to the creation of the weapons or the availability of said weapons, do we REALLY need to ask who has the advantage here? SAINTS

Atlanta at Arizona-Falcons and Cardinals? OOOOOOOHWEEEEE bad bird on bad bird. This oughta be fun, on cuteness alone I should take the bird in the mask, but I have a special feeling for the baaaaaaaaaad bird with the flesh tearing talons and the one which could go jack crazy if you don’t keep its hood on. But the sneaky bird is downright crafty and can outsmart, outwit, outlast opponents it had no business beating before. CARDINALS


Tampa Bay at San Francisco-Buccaneers and 49ers? As noted earlier, the pirates from the Bay of Tampa come west as the east bay pirates go east. They are coming off a pilfering and may still be on the prowl. What does goldie have? Um, gold? Pirates dig that more than any other crap they’ve pilfered from other mascots this season. BUCCANEERS

Baltimore at Seattle-Ravens and Seahawks? Bird on Bird. And one bird is feisty, albeit a yappy feisty. Skua, meh, he’s gotta be somewhat feisty too. This may be an epic battle. Yappy should win because it is flying a helluva long way not to, but then again, I remember thinking the big black bird had an edge somewhere. Skua has an antedote for the yapping of its own. SEAHAWKS

Miami at New England-Dolphins and Patriots. First let’s give it up for the cute lil mascot Flipper. Finally off the snide and taking on what? Dudes with guns…YIKES. It was good while it lasted Flipper, but you haven’t fared well against weaponry. PATRIOTS.


N.Y. Jets at Tennessee-Jets and Titans? Harry Hamlins take on planes. Sure, there is a lot of power behind the tin being up in the air, but c’mon, this is Harry Hamlin we’re talking about and he’s clashed formidably thus far. Which is more than I can say for the planes in their matchups, or was it just when I’ve pegged them as having a favorable matchup. TITANS

Washington at Minnesota-Redskins and Vikings? Hmmm, Norsemen at home? I think they battle well, regardless of how regal the indigenous folk may be as fighters. VIKINGS

Monday, Dec. 24
Denver at San Diego-Hmmmm wild baby horsies against some force of nature. I remember thinking about this before and not quite getting it right. I still liked the thought process I had. Sound of thunder, hell, the sound of anything it isn’t expecting to make a sound, tends to make the wild baby horsie skiddish. Lot’s of thunder in the forecast. CHARGERS

 

[VF21]

Results for week 15:

Broncos and Texans - TEXANS - CORRECT

Bengals and 49ers - BENGALS - INCORRECT

Cardinals and Saints - SAINTS - CORRECT

Falcons and Buccaneers - BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Ravens and Dolphins - RAVENS - INCORRECT

Bills and Browns - BROWNS - CORRECT

Packers and Rams - PACKERS - CORRECT

Jaguars and Steelers - STEELERS - INCORRECT

Jets and Patriots - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Seahawks and Panthers - SEAHAWKS - INCORRECT

Titans and Chiefs - TITANS - CORRECT

Colts and Raiders - COLTS - CORRECT

Lions and Chargers - CHARGERS - CORRECT

Eagles and Cowboys - COWBOYS - INCORRECT

Redskins and Giants - GIANTS - INCORRECT

Bears and Vikings - VIKINGS - CORRECT

And...

Broncos at Texans - NO PICK

Bengals @ 49ers - 49ers - CORRECT

Colts at Raiders - RAIDERS - INCORRECT

Ravens at Dolphins - DOLPHINS - CORRECT

Cardinals at Saints - SAINTS - CORRECT

Packers at Rams - PACKERS - CORRECT

Jets at Patriots - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Bills at Browns - BROWNS - CORRECT

Seahawks at Panthers - PANTHERS - CORRECT

Titans at Chiefs - CHIEFS - INCORRECT

Jaguars at Steelers -STEELERS - INCORRECT

Falcons at Buccaneers - BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Eagles at Cowboys - COWBOYS - INCORRECT

Lions at Chargers - CHARGERS - CORRECT

Redskins at Giants - GIANTS - INCORRECT

Bears at Vikings - VIKINGS - CORRECT

MBF... 136-71 plus 10-6 for a new total of 146-77 (65.5%)
VF21... 108-83 plus 10-5 for a new total of 118-88 (57.3%)

 

[VF21]

Week 16 results...

Steelers and Rams? STEELERS - CORRECT
owboys and Panthers. COWBOYS - CORRECT
Browns and Bengals. BROWNS - INCORRECT
Packers and Bears? PACKERS - INCORRECT
Texans and Colts? COLTS - CORRECT
Chiefs and Lions? LIONS - CORRECT
Giants and Bills? BILLS - INCORRECT
Raiders and Jaguars? JAGUARS - CORRECT
Eagles and Saints? SAINTS - INCORRECT
Falcons and Cardinals? CARDINALS - CORRECT
Buccaneers and 49ers? BUCCANEERS - INCORRECT
Ravens and Seahawks? SEAHAWKS - CORRECT
Dolphins and Patriots. PATRIOTS - CORRECT
Jets and Titans?TITANS - CORRECT
Redskins and Vikings? VIKINGS - CORRECT
Broncos and Chargers? CHARGERS - CORRECT

VF21 did not make any predictions.

Standings:

MBF: 157-82 (65.7%)
VF21: 118-88 (57.3%)

 

[VF21]

Week 17 predictions:

Patriots @ Giants - PATRIOTS

Bengals @ Dolphins - DOLPHINS

Bills @ Eagles - EAGLES

Seahawks @ Falcons - SEAHAWKS

Saints @ Bears - BEARS

Panthers @ Buccaneers - BUCCANEERS

49ers @ Browns - 49ers

Tigers @ Packers - PACKERS

Jaguars @ Texans - TEXANS

Chargers @ Raiders - CHARGERS

Chiefs @ Jets - CHIEFS

Rams @ Cardinals - CARDINALS

Cowboys @ Redskins - COWBOYS

Vikings @ Broncos - VIKINGS

Steelers @ Ravens - STEELERS

Titans @ Colts - TITANS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Saturday, Dec. 29
New England at N.Y. Giants-Patriots and Giants? Dudes with muskets and big dudes. Eh, the beanstalk hasn’t been kind when I have tried to factor it in. But oh well. And the musket has been as mighty as any weapon I’ve seen in a long time. But shoot, those dudes are tall, the chances of the ball in the musket hitting and wounding its target is too great. I gotta think size matters in this matchup. GIANTS

Sunday, Dec. 30
Buffalo at Philadelphia-Bills and Eagles? The amazing morphing buffadudes let me down last week. I thought I had that nailed but apparently I didn’t. I mean seriously, morphing things are more agile than big dudes, but I guess agility does not a winner make. Who knew? The national symbol surprised me too. I think the morphing may not make much of a difference to a high flying bird, with flesh ripping talons and carrying lightning bolts just in case you needed anything else to intimidate you if all that other stuff failed. EAGLES

Carolina at Tampa Bay-Panthers and Buccaneers? Well the east coast pirates come back home after unsuccessfully pilfering gold for heavens sake. They should be required to turn in their pirate cards for that one. The big black cat, well…I dunno, I just see it being skinned for its pelt just because it wandered onto the ship instead of its den. BUCCANEERS

Cincinnati at Miami-Bengals and Dolphins? Hmmm. Flipper could be at an advantage, in his tank against a cat that for the most part hasn’t always been the most formidable of beast. Except oddly when I predict it will be. Cats hunt fish, but Flipper is more than a fish – if he’s even fish-like at all. BENGALS

Detroit at Green Bay-Lions and Packers? Eh, well. Shoot. The bear got out of the way of the packing dudes AGAIN. What on EARTH is going on here? I’m perplexed. Again another animal is headed into the plant, with a bit of an attitude, and I would suspect more dangerous than a bear since that bear should have been freaking sleepy. Which makes the fact that it escaped unpalletized AGAIN all the more puzzling to me. One more time I’ll give the pallet dudes the edge (stubborn, I tellya, I’m stubborn…PACKERS

Jacksonville at Houston-Jaguars and Texans? Seriously, I have loved yaguara since day one this season. This is day 17 (um, give or take some extrapolation) and my love of the ferocity and power has not wavered. JAGUARS.

New Orleans at Chicago-Saints and Bears? Hmmm….miracle men who have been anything but. Sure, I should recognize that I may not always understand the way the miracle men work and it may not always be the way I think it should because well, I’m not privy to the ultimate master plan of the universe. But no worries, the bears are in their den, and despite having heavy eye-lids, jammie jams, and a night cap on, might have enough to take the men who cross their paths this late in their hibernation season. BEARS

Seattle at Atlanta-Seahawks and Falcons? Seahawks and Falcons. Birdo-a-birdo? Does it get any better than this? Of course not or else I wouldn’t draw attention to it. Skua has been very good this year in its face offs with birds for the most part, unless its just when it faces a piratety bird or one that tries to talk. Falcons don’t pirate or talk that I know of, they just go jack crazy and are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds all around. I still like piratety birds and I think the falcon will still have its hoodie on when Skua steals its crap. SEAHAWKS

San Francisco at Cleveland- 49ers and Browns? Brown very well should again have done for me. Totally expected it last week and was let down. I mean I didn’t even get the sorry we missed you(r prediction) sticker on my door…Goldie also got away, um, or staved off one final grab at his stash of gold that it keeps in his camp. I think Brown boxes that stuff up and sends it somewhere. BROWNS

Dallas at Washington-Cowboys and Redskins? OOOOOOOH WEEEEEEE more spaghetti westerns to end the season. I dunno what to think here. Indigenous peoples are on their sacred homelands and all. That should be a good enough reason, no? REDSKINS

Minnesota at Denver-Vikings and Broncos? Man, the norsemen against an animal. Just another thing to pilfer on the way home. Sure, you are probably thinking MBF…remember when the pirates rolled into the mountains and despite nearly stealing the game – still came home empty handed? Well, they weren’t norse where they? VIKINGS

Pittsburgh at Baltimore-Steelers and Ravens? Dudes with a furness against a big black talking bird. Man, normally, given the ineptness of the yapping that the bird has been doing lately I would take the dude with the furness because of well, the furness. But geewhiz, that furness has nearly burnt out. I guess there’s a chance the obscene heat these dudes have at their disposal will become an advantage again. STEELERS

San Diego at Oakland-Chargers and Raiders? East bay pirates come home to defend their bay against a force of nature. Shipmen must defer to forces of nature, or at the very least respect them. CHARGERS

St. Louis at Arizona-Rams and Cardinals? Man, that sheep has been through a lot. Spent much of the weeks this season bald as a bowling ball. But it has come back and has grown enough fleece for a nice Lands End coat for someone of medium build. But that bandit bird has been sneaky with a capital SNEAKY. The game is in its nest. CARDINALS

Kansas City at N.Y. Jets-Chiefs and Jets? Boy….hmmm. I guess I’m meant to be faced with a matchup which makes me say, “geezus will someone win this game?” I’m going to take the indigenous peoples in this final anachronistic battle. I could go into some long drawn out analogy equating a bird to the jet and how the indigenous people drew power from it, but I won’t. Seventeen weeks of analogizing has worn me out CHIEFS

Tennessee at Indianapolis-Titans and Colts? Man, Harry Hamlins go up against the horsies with the powerful shoes and their (allegedly amplified) power. The U’s have been a powerful force. I can’t see it stopping. I just can’t. COLTS

 

[VF21]

Patriots and Giants? GIANTS - INCORRECT
Bills and Eagles? EAGLES - CORRECT
Panthers and Buccaneers? BUCCANEERS - INCORRECT
Bengals and Dolphins?BENGALS - CORRECT
Lions and Packers? PACKERS - CORRECT
Jaguars and Texans? JAGUARS - INCORRECT
-Saints and Bears? BEARS - CORRECT
Seahawks and Falcons? SEAHAWKS - INCORRECT
49ers and Browns? BROWNS - CORRECT
Cowboys and Redskins? REDSKINS - CORRECT
Vikings and Broncos? VIKINGS - INCORRECT
Steelers and Ravens? STEELERS - INCORRECT
Chargers and Raiders? CHARGERS - CORRECT
Rams and Cardinals? CARDINALS - CORRECT
Chiefs and Jets? CHIEFS - INCORRECT
Titans and Colts?COLTS - INCORRECT

and...

Patriots @ Giants - PATRIOTS - CORRECT
Bengals @ Dolphins - DOLPHINS - INCORRECT
Bills @ Eagles - EAGLES - CORRECT
Seahawks @ Falcons - SEAHAWKS - INCORRECT
Saints @ Bears - BEARS - CORRECT
Panthers @ Buccaneers - BUCCANEERS - INCORRECT
49ers @ Browns - 49ers - INCORRECT
Tigers @ Packers - PACKERS - CORRECT
Jaguars @ Texans - TEXANS - CORRECT
Chargers @ Raiders - CHARGERS - CORRECT
Chiefs @ Jets - CHIEFS - INCORRECT
Rams @ Cardinals - CARDINALS - CORRECT
Cowboys @ Redskins - COWBOYS - INCORRECT
Vikings @ Broncos - VIKINGS - INCORRECT
Steelers @ Ravens - STEELERS - INCORRECT
Titans @ Colts - TITANS - CORRECT

Standings:

MBF: 165-90 (64.7%)
VF21: 126-96 (56.8%)

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

hollleeee crap, I apparently played my backups last week.

 

[VF21]

You still have done a pretty impressive job, MBF. I tip my hat to you - my nice warm purple Kings knit cap - before putting it quickly back on my head.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Thanks, I appreciate it...

I'll see if I can finish out the post season - fewer games and no Yahoo picks lock may make it easier and require less thinking since I think I've gotten rid of my problem mascots.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 18 - Wildcard Weekend

Saturday, Jan. 5th
Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh-Jaguars and Steelers?-Oooooh yaguara. The ferocity and power of this great cat has faced the furness before and sorry to say I misunderestimated the cat’s ability to play with hot things BIG time feeling that ferocity and power do not mix well with extreme heat. Shows what I know huh(I’m actually going to blame U.S. Airways for throwing me off my damn game with the stupid travel stress they caused me while I was trying to think about mascots and stuff). Yaguara did just fine in the deep dark (HOT) recesses of the furness and danced around the hot molten sutff. Therefore, I’ll do right by yaguara this time. the cat is hungrier than it was in week 15. JAGUARS

Washington @ Seattle-Redskins and Seahawks? Hmmm, indigenous peoples in the pacific northwest battling Skua? Finally I think my reverence legends research comes into play. I tried several times to bring it into my analysis against different birds and in different regions of the country but never quite got it right. Sure, the legend I tried to invoke involved a thunderbird – which by all accounts in my research a seahawk is not. When has that stopped me, ever? Here’s what I’m feeling: home nest and closer proper regionalization of a bird legend, this one feels nearly stone cold lock-ish. But even if the skua thunderbird mash-up is a stretch, skua is still a badass piratety bird when it is in its nest...and that still seems worth of stone cold loch ness ( that I could not resist) eh, lock-ness...SEAHAWKS

Sunday, Jan 6th
New York @ Tampa Bay-Giants and Buccaneers? The tall dudes head to the bay of Tampa to battle some testy pirates on their ship. I thought I had gotten rid of all of my problematic mascots…nope. The big dudes are still standing. I’ve struggled to figure them out and am on a big streak of wrong with them seemingly. But shoot, I was *almost* right with them last week dadgumit. I’m feeling them this week for sorta the same reason I liked them last week. The weapons the pirates have are no match for height. And the tall dudes have a LOT of that. GIANTS

Tennessee @ San Diego-Titans and Chargers? On previous episodes….”Now HERE is a clash we can talk about. Forces of nature against the forces of Harry Hamlin. I don’t remember much about who all went up against Harry and his peeps in that movie, but a storm wouldn’t surprise me nor would some other Titan with some bolts either. I just seem to recall Harry having the upper hand. But that may just be Hollywood poisoning my mind and my ability to remember the classic mythology, reading is fundamental people!”As you see, this clash of mascots already happened once this season in week 14 and that’s what I thought then and I’m sticking with it. Why? You should already know by now, I’m stubborn! And also because reading is STILL fundamental people! CHARGERS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 19 - Divisional Playoffs (Saturday)

Saturday, Jan 12

Jacksonville @ New England-Jaguars and Patriots? Hmmmmm, yaguara meets a bunch of dudes with muskets. Typically, my process has been to factor in yaguara’s ferocity and power coefficients in the formula to consider how that matched up with their mascot opponent. Typically, I would reckon, that folks (myself included) would not have figured that dudes with muskets would have tremendous ferocity and power. I mean seriously, they have MUSKETS for goodness sakes. But they’ve been a plucky bunch. In a close one, I’m siding with the dudes with the muskets. Yaguara may have some ancestry which adapts it to cold weather, but cold weather makes it slower, which gives the musket dudes more time to reload. PATRIOTS

Seattle @ Green Bay-Seahawks and Packers? I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t quite think we have canned Skua on the shelves anywhere. I’m not sure if that’s because of some ban or simply some oversight on some food scientist’s part or if we’re just so preoccupied with putting chicken (or tuna if you are Jess Simpson ….I could not resist that either) in cans. In any event, the packing dudes are in their plant with all its accoutrements. They may have let the bear get away (repeatedly), but they have GOT to be able to wrassle a bird into a can, onto pallets and double the shrinkwrap to send it back west. They could even call Brown to ship it for them. They kinda aren’t busy right now. PACKERS

 

[VF21]

Nice job so far, MBF! You're 4 for 4 going into the divisional playoffs, having finally figured out those pesky Giants and Titans.

I'm thinking you may have underestimated the mighty Seahawks this week, though. There's a reason, me thinks, you don't see canned Skua on the shelves. And I think the guys in Green Bay are going to find out why...

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 19 - Divisional Playoffs (Sunday)

Sunday, Jan 13

San Diego @ Indianapolis-Chargers and Colts? I could go into a long, drawn out, elaborate dissection of which mascot bests who in this matchup. But, geez, why bother? It’s been about the power of the U, the shoes and the (allegedly amplified) power the young horsies possess. They were a little shaky against the forces of nature, especially when the forces of nature resorted to a typhoon to drown out the effects of ‘shoe power. But the horsies are on their home range, with the big ol’ shoe in the middle of their grazing land. There’s no better conditions to display that (allegedly amplified) power for all to see and be in awe of. Horsies have even put a roof over their corral to keep the pesky forces of nature from trying their wacky water tricks again. COLTS

New York @ Dallas-Giants and Cowboys? Hmmmmm….again, I am faced with my problematic mascot, the big dude. I am sure there is a Mendoza Line for prognostication similar to the one that exists to baseball fans when discussing a pathetic batting average, or in my case, an overanalyzin’ average when it comes to the tall dudes. I could fall back on my weapon trajectory theory and figure it should work again, but dadgumit, the big dudes have lost to the dudes on horseback with guns, not just once but TWICE already. I sense a trend even my stubbornness can’t ignore (although goodness knows I can ignore stuff when I’m fixated on a certain theory). This won’t be quite as confusing as the dude in the Princess Bride explaining which chalais he won’t drink from because you think he thinks you think he will…no, this will be much simpler. If I think the tall dudes will win under the theory that shooting at a tall dude is not only dangerous, but can be ineffective, the tall dudes will lose because I picked them, even though I picked them last week to win that mascot matchup and they did win, but that correct pick may have been in fact a ruse to get me to continue to pick them against mascots with weapons and ignore empirical evidence that should lead me to the correct analysis…but ahah, the empirical evidence ITSELF might be a ruse, and I should go with my new found theory under the idea that perhaps – I finally have gotten the pulse of the tall dude’s strengths and thus if I pick them again following this same line of thinking, I will in fact be correct because it is indeed a indisputable truism, ahhhhh, but what if…aw, screw it, don’t buck the trend that’s been trending stronger. COWBOYS

(hmmmmm, Saturday was all "p"s and sunday is all "c" coincidence? (If this works, next season I may factor in the letters in the mascot's name...shoot )

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

I'm thinking you may have underestimated the mighty Seahawks this week, though. There's a reason, me thinks, you don't see canned Skua on the shelves. And I think the guys in Green Bay are going to find out why...

Um...I think the answer to that is that they aren't in cans, they are in the frozen food aisle....who knew? :scribbling this down into notes for forumlas:

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

C's=bad, P's=good :note to self: And like Wallace Shawn's character, I drank from the wrong damn chalais....

 

[VF21]

Sunday, Jan 13

San Diego @ Indianapolis-Chargers and Colts? I could go into a long, drawn out, elaborate dissection of which mascot bests who in this matchup. But, geez, why bother? It’s been about the power of the U, the shoes and the (allegedly amplified) power the young horsies possess. They were a little shaky against the forces of nature, especially when the forces of nature resorted to a typhoon to drown out the effects of ‘shoe power. But the horsies are on their home range, with the big ol’ shoe in the middle of their grazing land. There’s no better conditions to display that (allegedly amplified) power for all to see and be in awe of. Horsies have even put a roof over their corral to keep the pesky forces of nature from trying their wacky water tricks again. COLTS

I think the error in your thinking stems from considering the lightning bolt as the mascot and NOT the mighty steed. It was the big horsies against the wee teeny horsies and the ones who carried the noble knights into battle were, indeed, the winners.

New York @ Dallas-Giants and Cowboys? Hmmmmm….again, I am faced with my problematic mascot, the big dude. I am sure there is a Mendoza Line for prognostication similar to the one that exists to baseball fans when discussing a pathetic batting average, or in my case, an overanalyzin’ average when it comes to the tall dudes. I could fall back on my weapon trajectory theory and figure it should work again, but dadgumit, the big dudes have lost to the dudes on horseback with guns, not just once but TWICE already. I sense a trend even my stubbornness can’t ignore (although goodness knows I can ignore stuff when I’m fixated on a certain theory). This won’t be quite as confusing as the dude in the Princess Bride explaining which chalais he won’t drink from because you think he thinks you think he will…no, this will be much simpler. If I think the tall dudes will win under the theory that shooting at a tall dude is not only dangerous, but can be ineffective, the tall dudes will lose because I picked them, even though I picked them last week to win that mascot matchup and they did win, but that correct pick may have been in fact a ruse to get me to continue to pick them against mascots with weapons and ignore empirical evidence that should lead me to the correct analysis…but ahah, the empirical evidence ITSELF might be a ruse, and I should go with my new found theory under the idea that perhaps – I finally have gotten the pulse of the tall dude’s strengths and thus if I pick them again following this same line of thinking, I will in fact be correct because it is indeed a indisputable truism, ahhhhh, but what if…aw, screw it, don’t buck the trend that’s been trending stronger. COWBOYS

So close! You actually had it and talked yourself out of it!

And as an aside, I'm going to watch Princess Bride again. The chalice sequence is one of my favorites.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 20 - Conference Championships

Sunday, Jan 20

San Diego @ New England -Chargers and Patriots? Obviously wasn’t anticipating this matchup again. When these mascots met in week 2, this is what I figured….

”Chargers and Patriots? Here’s where I’m going with the energy/human matchup this week. I’m reminded of the story of a great patriot Benjamin Franklin. He freaking flew a kite with a key on it in a thunderstorm to thumb his nose at the force of nature. This led of course to the lightning rod and control of bolts from the heavens (and Southern California). and the grounding of charge(rs).”

The amount of time between then and now just gives Ben Franklin and his com(eh..)patriots more time to set up more lightning rods etc. PATRIOTS





New York @ Green Bay -Giants and Packers? Geezus.., these tall dudes are going to haunt my very existence for as long as they can aren’t they. They know I can’t figure them out so they just keep showing up to mess with my head and knock me off my game. I need to get over their mind games, c’mon MBF focus!!! Alright, here goes nothin’…..Coincidentally, again in week 2 these mascots met at the home beanstalk of the tall dudes…and this was what I surmised….

” Ok, here’s my thinking here. I remembered yet another giant from somewhere. Well, perhaps he wasn’t so much a giant but rather the people around him were smallish. This may be parsing words but work with me here…ok, Gulliver, remember him? I don’t think he fared well neither. The image in my head of this giant being tied up and Lilliputians marching around him? Shudder. Giants 0 – folks they go up against 2.”

Now certainly in the intervening weeks, the tall dudes have upped their W/L record against other peeps. And playing away from the beanstalk has been better than playing on it. They’ve beaten all the peeps they’ve faced in the post season improving their record to 5-6. But you know what? The packing dudes, they have the upper hand I think. Why? Five words….”Ho Ho Ho…Green Giant” Feeling me here? Now either the tall dude owned the packing plant and controlled the processing of the fruits of the stalks in his valley, or it is really just more about the processing-which favors the masters of the process. Gawd…again, ambivalence and I’m stuck choosing a chalais or a fork in the road and of COURSE it involves these confounded Giants. I'm going masters of the process (canning or frozen just to be safe). PACKERS

 

[VF21]

The noble steed is the alternate definition of the San Diego mascot. The charger carried the knights of yore into battle not only with the weight of their rider but also the weight of their own armor. That takes incredible strength. For that reason, I have to believe the gallant horsie has a decent chance to stomp the musket carriers into the turf. CHARGERS

The people of large stature are just that - large. For a while, the guys who shove things into cans for Americans to consume have dealt with larger and larger portions. And done so to satisfy our desires. But America is in the midst of a trend of downsizing, of taking less instead of more. For that reason, I think the Giants are simply going to be too much for the Packers to handle. GIANTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

...Now either the tall dude owned the packing plant and controlled the processing of the fruits of the stalks in his valley, or it is really just more about the processing-which favors the masters of the process. Gawd…again, ambivalence and I’m stuck choosing a chalais or a fork in the road and of COURSE it involves these confounded Giants. I'm going masters of the process (canning or frozen just to be safe). PACKERS

Gawd....good thing I'll have two weeks to figure these tall dudes out one last damn time...

 

[VF21]

I think the packing dudes may have succumbed to freezer burn.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 21-Super Bowl Sunday

Sunday, February 3

New York vs New England-Giants and Patriots? Well, it has all come down to this hasn't it?....as of course it should I suppose. For all the marbles, my most difficult mascot to figure out against the easiest mascot I had to analyze. I further reckon, if I think about it...since I have had such a hard time figuring out when to trust a trend these tall dudes have either had or have bucked, I either will finally get it right today or will not be surprised that I'm wrong, either way I won't be shocked with my pick, no? That's the way I'm going to look at it. Back in week 17, this is what I felt when these two mascots met before...

"Dudes with muskets and big dudes. Eh, the beanstalk hasn’t been kind when I have tried to factor it in. But oh well. And the musket has been as mighty as any weapon I’ve seen in a long time. But shoot, those dudes are tall, the chances of the ball in the musket hitting and wounding its target is too great. I gotta think size matters in this matchup."

​

Perhaps my problem in succeeding weeks was that I misread when I should follow or buck whatever trend these enigmatic tall dudes have been on. In their matchups with dudes with guns (of either the musket or six-shooter varieties) I have appeared to have been slightly off. I go back however to the bigger trend however, the tall dudes have been undefeated away from the beanstalk for a while AND more importantly for purposes of my overthinking, they have beaten every single people mascot they have faced in the postseason. I ignored that trend twice. (Sure, you're saying to yourself, MBF...Didn't you also ignore the trend the musket carrying juggernaut had been on when you overthought week 17?...Sure I did, but I've been wrong more and longer with the tall dudes so I'm (over)thinking that my analysis that week was tainted by THAT futility). I think there was something to the ballistics feeling I had in week 17, the overarching away from the beanstalk trend will bolster that since that's the only condition that changes between the six-shooter vs musket comparison I had rolling through my head as I tried to figure out what is different between these two matchups. So, for one final time this season...GIANTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

FINALLY!
​

::MBF goes back to alternately pouring gatorade and champagne over self in celebration of figuring out the tall dudes:: ​

 

[VF21]

I didn't get to see the first three quarters of the game - thank you Mother Nature - but that fourth quarter was sure fun.

Nice job, MBF! I was rooting for the Giants, as the poll in the General forum will attest, but only because I wanted to see "little brother" have something to talk about at the next family dinner.