MBF's Guide to Picking the Winning Mascot

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Sunday, Nov. 4
Arizona at Tampa Bay –Cardinals and Buccaneers? The bandit birds have bit hit and miss against people this season and well the bandit, um bandits lost to the only bird they faced this season. A bird I might add that also was sorta bandity. Tho the east bay pirates are home, I’m leaning towards the masked birds again stealing a win since the east coast pirates have struggled with piratey birds. CARDINALS

Carolina at Tennessee-Panthers and Titans? The Harry Hamlins this week clash with a bunch of panthers. Panthers have been abysmal against people (1-2) while the Harry Hamlins have split their animal matchups. Harry Hamlins are on their home throne, so I’m going with them. TITANS

Cincinnati at Buffalo-Bengals and Bills? These wild west dudes/buffaloes have been a hard read as have those crazy tigers. I mean seriously, I’m not so sure I’ve picked right all that often on either, so its’ good I guess they are matched up against each other since I think it may make the odds that I pick the winning mascot better. Depending on how you categorize the mascot from Buffalo, a person or an animal? Computer is of no help to Bengal since they’ve either not faced on or lost a lot to the other. Wild west dude/buffalo, whiffed in its only meeting with an animal. I reckon a buffalo could be easy eats for a tiger, but if that buffalo morphs suddenly into a dude with a gun? Changes the dynamics now doesn’t it? This morphing ability is maybe the precise reason why I can’t get a handle on the Buffalo mascot. Let me give it a shot. BILLS

Denver at Detroit-Broncos and Lions? Lions eat horses don’t they? (I couldn’t resist appropriating that either, sorry ) I don’t know about that, but I think I saw a lion on Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom (with or without the venerable Marlon Perkins) eat a zebra, which to me is simply a horse with some stripes. (I’m no animalologist, if that hasn’t been apparent 9 weeks into this venture). The computer tells me that their records against animals are mirrored, with the horsies being winless and the lions being undefeated. Numbers and Perkins’ film vault legacy hold. LIONS

Green Bay at Kansas City –Packers and Chiefs? Boy, I nearly had this one nailed last week, but I also remember the dudes with shrinkwrap, cans and pallets denying me a correct pick before. Sigh. For SOME reason, I’m getting a feeling on which way to go with this one. Dudes with the modern packing technology against indigenous peoples and their historical methods of preserving things. I believe that last matchup went the way of modernity. I’m not feeling this matchup going any differently. PACKERS

Jacksonville at New Orleans –Jaguars and Saints? Yaguara has been on FIRE against people this season, 3-1 with a 3 people win streak. The miracle men have struggled against animals (0-2). So on numbers? It’s screaming in the direction of yaguara. However, I think the miracle men have figured out the three miracle thing. SAINTS

San Diego at Minnesota-Chargers and Vikings? Chargers are on a streak against people, so that is swaying my thinking at the outset. Considering the mascots themselves? I see it this way. Energy/electricity seems anachronistic with Viking ships. Lightning bolts and Viking ships, seems like bad news for the Vikes. CHARGERS

San Francisco at Atlanta-49ers and Falcons? This matchup perplexes me, as much as goldies matchup last week did, probably even moreso. But I do have a direction I’m leaning, but as with last week I could easily (over)analyze a counter to it and any other direction I leaned. But goldie’s gold and sourdough have not helped it much against many birds this season, the bandit birds nearly stole it, but goldie distracted them enough to steal it back at the end. These are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcons tho. And its in their nest. FALCONS

Washington at N.Y. Jets-Redkins and Jets? I want to take the planes because, well I always want to take the planes against people. But that hasn’t worked in previous matchups this season. REDSKINS

Seattle at Cleveland –Seahawks and Browns? Computer says this is a slam dunk. Piratety birds haven’t seen a thing this season and Brown is undefeated against the animal kingdom w/ or w/o wings. That makes me want to go with Skua this week, just because. But I gotta stick with the trend…BROWNS

Houston at Oakland-Texans and Raiders. The east bay pirates are on their home ship and well the Texans may not have a chance to leave with whatever they came with or the horse they rode in on. Pirates pilfer and especially do so when they know the terrain better. RAIDERS

New England at Indianapolis-Patriots and Colts? All due respects to the Harry Hamlins, but in this mascot universe, this matchup is clearly the battle of the titans. Neither has been tested by their previous mascot opponents. Musket dudes? Well those muskets have served them very well, but the horsies have relied on their youth AND the stash of lucky horseshoes they carry and which seem to be prevalent when they are in their home corral. Where are they today? Um, yeah…. COLTS

Dallas at Philadelphia-Cowboys and Eagles? Computer alarms went nuts on this one since the boys with six shooters are undefeated against the winged or unwinged members of the wild kingdom. It’s gotta be the weapon edge. Even though offing eagles is STILL illegal (I’ve said this before and its gotten me nowhere, so of course I will stubbornly re-use it as a factor to consider), boys on horseback with six shooters will still have the advantage. COWBOYS

Monday, Nov. 5
Baltimore at Pittsburgh-Ravens and Steelers? Computer makes this one a toss up so back to my (over)analytical gut feeling. Dudes with molten stuff are working with their home furness. Big black bird migrates a short(ish) distance and will attempt to chatter the dudes into submission. I think the sound of machinery or things burning or the protective equipment molten ingredients dude guys employ will mitigate all that mutterin’…STEELERS

 

[VF21]

And the results for week 9 are:

Week 9 ...

Cardinals at Buccaneers - BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Broncos at Lions - LIONS - CORRECT

Panthers at Titans - TITANS - CORRECT

Packers at Chiefs - PACKERS - CORRECT

Chargers at Vikings - CHARGERS - INCORRECT

Jaguars at Saints - SAINTS - CORRECT

49ers at Falcons - 49ERS - INCORRECT

Redskins at Jets - JETS - INCORRECT

Bengals at Bills -BILLS - CORRECT

Seahawks at Browns -BROWNS - CORRECT

Patriots at Colts - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Texans at Raiders - RAIDERS - INCORRECT

Cowboys at Eagles - COWBOYS - CORRECT

Ravens at Steelers - STEELERS - CORRECT

And...

Arizona at Tampa Bay –Cardinals and Buccaneers? CARDINALS - INCORRECT

Carolina at Tennessee-Panthers and Titans? TITANS - CORRECT

Cincinnati at Buffalo-Bengals and Bills? BILLS - CORRECT

Denver at Detroit-Broncos and Lions? LIONS - CORRECT

Green Bay at Kansas City –Packers and Chiefs? PACKERS - CORRECT

Jacksonville at New Orleans –Jaguars and Saints? SAINTS - CORRECT

San Diego at Minnesota-Chargers and Vikings? CHARGERS - INCORRECT

San Francisco at Atlanta-49ers and Falcons? FALCONS - CORRECT

Washington at N.Y. Jets-Redkins and Jets? REDSKINS - CORRECT

Seattle at Cleveland –Seahawks and Browns? BROWNS - CORRECT

Houston at Oakland-Texans and Raiders. RAIDERS - INCORRECT

New England at Indianapolis-Patriots and Colts? COLTS - INCORRECT

Dallas at Philadelphia-Cowboys and Eagles? COWBOYS - CORRECT

Baltimore at Pittsburgh-Ravens and Steelers? STEELERS - CORRECT

New standings:

MBF 10-4 ... 85-45 (65.4%)
VF21 10-4 ... 74-56 (56.9%)

 

[VF21]

Nice work so far, MBF.



Anyone else who wants to give this a shot is welcome to try. Remember, you're talking about the mascots and not the actual teams.

 

[VF21]

Week 10...

Browns at Steelers - Package guys vs. molten metal guys. Let's see. Put molten metal into a brown bag and the metal wins. Put a brown bag into the molten metal...and the metal wins. STEELERS

Vikings at Packers - Leif Erickson may have explored North America but I doubt if he and his crew can survive amidst those hard-working guys who stuff stuff into cans and stuff. PACKERS

Eagles at Redskins - The noble birds have strong talons and sharp beaks but have you ever taken a close look at the headdress of the average Native American? LOTS of eagle feathers. For that reason, the edge has to go to the guys who didn't grow those feathers. REDSKINS

Jaguars at Titans - Very smart, quick felines but facing the really big guys. TITANS

Falcons at Panthers - Talk about a predator-prey relationship. PANTHERS

Broncos at Chiefs - The prairie equine could be in big trouble going right into the land of those who tamed them. CHIEFS

Bills at Dolphins - Can buffaloes swim? Or do guys in buckskins get dragged down when their clothing gets wet? DOLPHINS

Rams at Saints - Ah, the sacrificial lambs. SAINTS

Bengals at Ravens - Poe's nasty bird will pull out all the stops, swoop from on high, and not play fair at all. RAVENS

Bears at Raiders - Cutlasses and black powder pistols should be able to make short shrift of the visiting ursines. RAIDERS

Cowboys at Giants - Unless one of those cowboys is Pecos Bill, they're in trouble. GIANTS

Lions at Cardinals - Another predator-prey contest, unless we're talking about the other kind of cardinal. I'm still not sure which is which. LIONS

Colts at Chargers - Big fighting horses used to carrying knights in battle could easily surprise the young horsies. CHARGERS

49ers at Seahawks - No logic, no rationale but these are my 49ers and I can't go against them. 49ers

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 10

Sunday, Nov. 11
Atlanta at Carolina-Falcons and Panthers? Cats and birds hooking up again. For some reason, I have not expanded my computer analysis (aka Excel spreadsheet) to reflect particular types of matchups and the outcome of same. However, last time THESE particular cats and birds hooked up, the cat won…(somewhere some catologist is nodding in agreement or saying “of course the cat won, duh”). As if that animal truism wasn’t enough to determine the outcome of this matchup, a check of the computer tells me that Panther is 2-0 against birds and those baaaaaaaaaaaaad bird Falcons have yet to beat an animal. PANTHERS

Buffalo at Miami-Bills and Dolphins? Poor flipper is winless against anything…but you know what, flipper is ESPECIALLY awful against people as in majorily winlessness against people compared to any other type of mascot it has been awful against this season. Dudes with or without guns, it hasn’t mattered. Dolphin oddly hasn’t faced birds or animals, so I have nothing to work with in terms of analyzing the morphing factor I mentioned last week. Wild west dude/buffalo is .500 against animals. I am sooooooooo tempted to take Flipper on the theory that for the time that Buffalo’s mascot was actually, say a buffalo, Flipper might could beat it. Because shoot, maybe that’s why Flipper is winless, it just hasn’t faced a mascot type it has better odds against. The minute Flipper lets Buffalo start to metamorphasize into a dude with a rifle, that’s when things could go horribly bad. See my dilemma? I want to go Flipper, but I don’t see the morphing thing working to its advantage in creating a window towards a win. BILLS

Cleveland at Pittsburgh-Browns and Steelers? This one the computer says is a slam dunk. These two have hooked up before and Brown did nothing for me that day, methinks upon reflection because the furness burned Brown’s truck the HELL up or at the very least made it difficult to drive..melted. I’m not sure bubble wrap (melt), packing popcorn(burn), boxes(burn) are of much help cause dude still has a furness or at least a vat of REALLY hot stuff. STEELERS

Denver at Kansas City-Broncos and Chiefs? Computer gives a slight edge to the horsies. Why you ask? Because horsies have been slightly better against people than indigenous dudes have been against animals. Again, the cursory nature of my computer analysis (aka Excel spreadsheet) does not allow me to readily drill down on this. Because indigenous peoples are on their home lands, and perhaps have tamed a wild bronco or two back in the day. CHIEFS

Jacksonville at Tennessee-Jaguars and Titans? The Harry Hamlins and yaguara square off. Computer makes this one a relative toss up. Harry Hamlins seemingly have found their powers and are ready to clash. I’m giving them again the home throne advantage, even though yaguara has its own level of ferocity and power which I’m sure comes in handy with clashes with other mascots. Just not feeling it with Harry Hamlins this week. TITANS

Minnesota at Green Bay-Vikings and Packers? The norsemen and their apparently electrically powered ships (at least that’s the impression I got after last week’s game) roll into the plant to face the dudes with shrink wrap, pallets etc. I’m going with an analysis I had before, which I recall working – so I’m sticking with it. Dudes who have prowess in storing foodstuffs are handier on long trips on ships, so I gotta give them an edge – eh, even tho norsemen are the better ship steerers. Ah…but if the crew all have scurvy, botiulism or whatnot, again, who has more power? PACKERS

Philadelphia at Washington-Eagles and Redskins? I’m reaching for my Staples easy button again. If you took my analysis from week 2’s matchup and stopped reading at the point I started over-analyzing, you’ll have my feelings about week 10. REDSKINS

Spoiler

Washington at Philadelphia - In Native cultures the eagle is a revered creature. So revered is/was it that its feathers, bones, talons etc were used for various spiritual and ceremonial purposes. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I want to be THAT revered because this reverential usage of my stuff seems to imply I’m dead or otherwise did not voluntarily offer anything up. I think however this misses the bigger point. That I’m revered in the first place. I think the reverence continues despite being talonless, boneless and featherless once the game is over. EAGLES

St. Louis at New Orleans-Rams and Saints? Bestubbled sheep are due I tellya, but I’m not sure facing dudes who are required to perform miracles is the best day to look for a victory. Computer agrees. SAINTS

Cincinnati at Baltimore Bengals and Ravens? So sure am I about the outcome of this one, I am not only NOT going to even consult the computer on this one, I’m going to cut and paste the analysis I had from week one which SOMEHOW ended up going sideways. I was certain of the validity of the analysis then, and I am CERTAINLY certain of it now. RAVENS

Spoiler

Monday, Sep. 10
Baltimore at Cincinnati - Ravens and Bengals? Maybe its my love of Tigger, or maybe it’s the power and majesty that is a Bengal tiger. But I’ was about as close as locking this down in the tiger column as one can get. Poeism suggests however that ravens have the power to grab one’s rapt (or rapped?) attention and one will need one’s opponent’s attention raptly grabbed(…gently) if one’s opponent outweighs one by a few hundred pounds. Once upon a Monday dreary…RAVENS

Chicago at Oakland-Bears and Raiders? Computer is of no help here, both are .500 against their respective mascot type foes coming into this matchup. Both have worked me over in my analysis at times this season. The east bay pirates should prevail since they’re home. But why am I not feeling it? Well, its not like the Bears have been any easier to figure out themselves. My research earlier seemed to favor them in matchups where defensive attacks should come in handy, so I would go that direction when it felt like that would put them over the edge. But NooooOOOOOoooooo. Some mascot should win this game. And because I gotta pick one…BEARS

Dallas at N.Y. Giants-Cowboys and Giants? When these mascots matched up in week one, I boiled the analysis down to this logical argument….. “…onliest tall dude I know about mixing it up with people less heighted than himself wasGoliath and we know how that game ended. So much for home field advantange. Well these Giants are on the road anyway, but it won’t matter.Cowboys with guns trump boy with slingshot. Boy with slingshot trumps giants.” Back then, I wanted to mitigate that by looking at the venue of this matchup. I also probably should look at that again, but I’m not and I should also consider that a lot could change over the course of the weeks since these two last hooked up, but I’m not. COWBOYS

Detroit at Arizona-Lions and Cardinals? Bandity birds and lions…Cats and birds again, and I’m going to stick with what got me here…eh, or try at least to stay consistent with what I argued earlier Lions lack bird experience this season, so I’m relying on their natural instinct to take over once kick off happens and they see that bird on a plate, eh..I mean the other side of the field. LIONS

Indianapolis at San Diego-Colts and Chargers? Man, the horsies and the their stash of (allegedly) amplified horseshoe mojo finally met a mascot immune to the lucky shoes. The U’s might double as a magnet and can redirect the current conducted by the bolts the Chargers carry on their helmets. COLTS

Monday, Nov. 12
San Francisco at Seattle-49ers and Seahawks? Skua/Osprey still want that sourdough and may like their last meeting, rough goldie up to get it if goldie doesn’t voluntarily hand it over. May not be as violent a hold up as last time, but may still be the same outcome nonetheless SEAHAWKS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Sunday, Nov. 11

Detroit at Arizona-Lions and Cardinals? Bandity birds and lions…Cats and birds again, and I’m going to stick with what got me here…eh, or try at least to stay consistent with what I argued earlier Lions lack bird experience this season, so I’m relying on their natural instinct to take over once kick off happens and they see that bird on a plate, eh..I mean the other side of the field. LIONS

(note to self on relying on an animal's instincts....DON'T)

Cincinnati at Baltimore Bengals and Ravens? So sure am I about the outcome of this one, I am not only NOT going to even consult the computer on this one, I’m going to cut and paste the analysis I had from week one which SOMEHOW ended up going sideways. I was certain of the validity of the analysis then, and I am CERTAINLY certain of it now. RAVENS

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH....I clearly need a book on ravenology or bengalogoy or SOMETHING...sigh...

 

[VF21]

placeholder for standings, which I neglected to do...

Atlanta at Carolina-Falcons and Panthers? PANTHERS - INCORRECT

Buffalo at Miami-Bills and Dolphins? BILLS - CORRECT

Cleveland at Pittsburgh-Browns and Steelers? STEELERS - CORRECT

Denver at Kansas City-Broncos and Chiefs? CHIEFS - INCORRECT

Jacksonville at Tennessee-Jaguars and Titans? TITANS - INCORRECT

Minnesota at Green Bay-Vikings and Packers? PACKERS - CORRECT

Philadelphia at Washington-Eagles and Redskins? REDSKINS - INCORRECT

St. Louis at New Orleans-Rams and Saints? SAINTS - INCORRECT

Cincinnati at Baltimore Bengals and Ravens? RAVENS - INCORRECT

Chicago at Oakland-Bears and Raiders? BEARS - CORRECT

Dallas at N.Y. Giants-Cowboys and Giants? COWBOYS - CORRECT

Detroit at Arizona-Lions and Cardinals?LIONS - INCORRECT

Indianapolis at San Diego-Colts and Chargers? COLTS - INCORRECT

San Francisco at Seattle-49ers and Seahawks? SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

And...

Browns at Steelers - STEELERS - CORRECT

Vikings at Packers - PACKERS - CORRECT

Eagles at Redskins - REDSKINS - INCORRECT

Jaguars at Titans - TITANS - INCORRECT

Falcons at Panthers - PANTHERS - INCORRECT

Broncos at Chiefs - CHIEFS - INCORRECT

Bills at Dolphins - DOLPHINS - INCORRECT

Rams at Saints - SAINTS - INCORRECT

Bengals at Ravens - RAVENS - INCORRECT

Bears at Raiders - RAIDERS - INCORRECT

Cowboys at Giants - GIANTS - INCORRECT

Lions at Cardinals - LIONS - INCORRECT

Colts at Chargers - CHARGERS - CORRECT

49ers at Seahawks - 49ers - INCORRECT

Standings:

MBF 91-53 (63.2%)
VF21 77-67 (53.5%)

 

[VF21]

Raiders at Vikings - Gotta go with the home advantage. VIKINGS

Rams at 49ers - Lamb stew, anyone? 49ERS

Giants at Lions - Going into a Lion's den is always problematic, so the size advantage might not be enough. LIONS

Buccaneers at Falcons - Swash and buckle those pesky birds right out of the air. BUCCANEERS

Panthers at Packers - Gotta go with the union guys. PACKERS

Saints at Texans - And the Saints will indeed march in again. SAINTS

Browns at Ravens - While the bird is quoting from Poe, the package guys are getting up to full speed for the coming holidays. BROWNS

Chiefs at Colts - As the native peoples travel to town, they have to be wary. Lots of trouble could be waiting for them. The baby horsies should prevail. COLTS

Cardinals at Bengals - What could be better for the ferocious felines than a poultry feast right before Thanksgiving? BENGALS

Dolphins at Eagles - Dolphins may not actually be fish, but they'll definitely be out of water in the City of Brotherly Love. EAGLES

Chargers at Jaguars - Big noble steeds with sharpened hooves against the wily jungle creatures. Wile can only get you so far, though, and these are BIG horsies. CHARGERS

Steelers at Jets - As tempting as it is to go with those with missiles and guns, they depend upon ammunition. And ammunition is, I believe, made at least partially from products from the land of the men of steel. STEELERS

Bears at Seahawks - The forest denizen could run into lots of trouble in the land of caffeine and seafood. Clever little feathered creatures will prevail. SEAHAWKS

Redskins at Cowboys - Talk about a revisit to the games of our youth. The guys with the six-shooters should have no difficulty taming their part of the West. COWBOYS

Patriots at Bills - The confusion over just what the mascot actually is will conceivably make it much easier for the visiting colonials to get out of town with a win. PATRIOTS

Titans at Broncos - Wild horses home on the range but really big guys who may or may not have the ability to throw lighting bolts. TITANS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Arizona at Cincinnati-Cardinals and Bengals? Well now, more birds and cats matching up, and more of this feisty Bengal I can’t figure out. The bandity bird has been a mystery as well. I think typically I would and have favored the cat side of the ledger, but I’m feeling sorta birdy this time around, call it me easily influenced by the mask that I often underestimate…CARDINALS
Carolina at Green Bay-Panthers and Packers? I like the idea of another animal entering the packing plant. I think the last time this happened, it was a bear, who for all intents and purposes was about to have its butt canned and put onto pallets for shipping to all parts elsewhere. Can a panther be as crafty? I don’t think so. The shrink wrap dudes have figured out how to not let that happen again… PACKERS


Cleveland at Baltimore-Browns and Ravens? Boy do I want to see what Brown can do for me this week, I sorta am feeling Brown can pack and ship a talkin’ bird. Weird huh, I used to REALLY be on this talkin’ bird’s bandwagon, and one would think a bird jabbering about this that and the other thing might give Brown the wrong instructions, distract Brown while Brown is driving. I think Brown, and all the new-fangled technologies might just help it block out the bird…and by new fangled I might just mean ear plugs. BROWNS

Kansas City at Indianapolis-Chiefs and Colts? Wooooooo, the power of the mighty horseshoe has been foiled the last two weeks hasn’t it? This is another matchup that the young horses have (along with their allegedly enhanced horseshoe-icity) might have trouble, but then again I felt that the indigenous mascot would beat the horse it faced last week TOO! I’m going with the young horses and their ‘shoes since it seems these chiefs aren’t as adept with horse taming as I originally thought. COLTS

Miami at Philadelphia-Dolphins and Eagles? Hmmmm. I see Flipper winning really soon, I really do, I’m not just blowing smoke because I find Flipper incredibly cute and him getting rolled by other mascots week after week incredibly sad. The sharp taloned bird will pick at it like every other mascot has, just because it can. Flipper will have his day soon, just not this week. EAGLES

New Orleans at Houston-Saints and Texans? The miracle men against texas dudes on horseback. I have no idea what to make of this or how to even go about figuring out edges and trends. I think the miracle men have what it takes to prevail tho…(cough…divine intervention…cough) SAINTS

N.Y. Giants at Detroit-Giants and Lions? This seems like I have read about this in Sunday School for some reason, maybe I’m mixing stories or something, but it just seems like this has played out before and I should know how this matchup trends. In any event, I’m going big dudes under the theory that size matters regardless of whether a sacrificial lion has been thrown to a slingshot or eh…something. GIANTS

Oakland at Minnesota-Raiders and Vikings? Ship dudes squared… pillaging ship dudes squared at that. Home waters should matter since the east bay pirates are traveling further. And it seemed that whenever pirate dudes have had to travel, it didn’t bode well for them. Which quite frankly I find weird, the whole idea of pirating should be conquest and at some point you have to travel to conquest once you have conquested all that within your own territorial waters…or maybe that’s just me. I’d like to take the Norsemen here, but I’m going out on a limb with the east bay pirates under the theory that they are probably mean enough to not let the travel bother them. RAIDERS

San Diego at Jacksonville-Chargers and Jaguars? Yaguara and its ferocity and power may very well have a chance against the bolts. Being native to Florida (please suspend all natural habitat belief), Yaguara knows a thing or two about storms and lightning etc. So the bolts on the helmets will not intimidate. JAGUARS

Tampa Bay at Atlanta-Buccaneers and Falcons? East coast pirates and baaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds. I have an inkling to go with the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds, not sure why, just an inkling. Sometimes that’s enough and one should go with one’s inklings because they usually are right. But I’m stubborn and the inkling seems unreasonable. East coast pirates should have no problem, they are pirates for goodness sakes. But I think people in Bodega Bay thought the same thing when a few birds here and there started hanging around their city too! BUCCANEERS

Pittsburgh at N.Y. Jets-Steelers and Jets? I like the dudes with the molten stuff more than I like the planes in this matchup. Although it seems like the planes would have some sort of protective something or nother to protect them from heat. But I’m not sure what has been protecting the planes against anything it for all intents and purposes should never trumped it the last few weeks. So in a reverse logic sorta way…STEELERS

Chicago at Seattle-Bears and Seahawks? Ok..here’s the logic that made sense to me at first blush. Defense attacking bears, cool concept. Piratety birds, they may just take and not need to mess with bear on terra firma. I mean look at it this way…piratety bird has allllll this stuff it stole from the other mascots, most recently goldie’s sourdough rounds and gold pans. They gotta store that somewhere right, and I’m guessing its up high since well, they’re birds. All the defense in the world ain’t gonna help bear get to that stash. SEAHAWKS

St. Louis at San Francisco-Rams and 49ers? Man, the bestubbled sheep have their fleece back or at least there is more of it than they’ve had the past few weeks. I remember back in week two, my analysis containing the historical significance of “Argonauts” and the correlation between that and the search for gold, which um, directly relates to the San Francisco mascot no? A lot has happened since then, but goldie should still remember its roots right? Eh, I dunno. All the signs point to that, and I was leaning that direction…but the sheep I think figured out that they do not want goldie to have its fleece again, it was a long cold last few weeks. RAMS

Washington at Dallas-Redskins and Cowboys? More spaghetti western stuff. In this fight on the plains, I’m going with the home combatant. COWBOYS

New England at Buffalo-Patriots and Bills? Dudes with muskets may go down, not sure it will be against this mascot with the ability to morph as a manimal (with a gun). Muskets are old school, I know….but there’s a point during the transformation from buffalo to dude with a rifle where the buffadude is incredibly vunerable, even though the reload for musket dude takes precious time. PATRIOTS

Monday, Nov. 19
Tennessee at Denver-Titans and Broncos? Man, these young horses, they just randomly show up and foil my merticulously crafted analyses. I’m leaning Harry Hamlins here, again on the theory that power trumps youth. The MINUTE I type this, I have of course ensured that the young horses will find a way to get over on the Harry Hamlins just to spite me and my thought process. Harry Hamlins may have my back and take down Pegasus. TITANS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 12

Thursday, Nov. 22
Green Bay at Detroit-Packers and Lions? Yet another animal facing the dudes with shrinkwrap and cans. Given their last performance, I think they have figured out how to handle that. Sure, its not in the packing plant, but once you learn preservation techniques does it really matter where you are? Nope, I don’t think so, I liken them to Boy Scouts, they gotta always be prepared to pack something at a moments notice anywhere. PACKERS

N.Y. Jets at Dallas-Jets and Cowboys? Planes and dudes with six-shooters. I think the planes with all their weapons and whatnot faced a couple of dudes with guns before, and it didn’t go well then, and I’m not seeing it go well now. COWBOYS

Indianapolis at Atlanta-Colts and Falcons? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds man. I dig them. But the horsies, they’re kinda baaaaaaaad themselves. And the power of the ‘shoe? It’s still a mighty formidable thing to be able to pull out of a pocket, or eh…slap on the side of a helmet. COLTS.

Sunday, Nov. 25
Buffalo at Jacksonville-Bills and Jaguars? Yaguara and its ferocity and power will face the amazingly morphing mascot buffadude. Its agility and wiliness will allow it to outwit the buffalo and the spots it wears as camouflage will allow it to outwit dude with the rifle . And Yaguara is in its natural habitat to boot. JAGUARS

Denver at Chicago-Broncos and Bears? Goodness gracious. Will somebody win this game. The young horsies, win when I think they’ll lose and lose when I think they’ll win. Since I have no inkling what they’ll do this week I’m not sure which way to go to go opposite of what my inkling is so I can make a decision on this matchup. Bear, goodness, nearly has been the same way. I do note that this will be played in a den, and that’s too tight a quarter for the horse to be able to battle at its full potential.

Houston at Cleveland-Texans and Browns? Brown sure did for me, it wasn’t an easy delivery last week against the yappin’ bird, but Brown got it boxed and shipped nonetheless. This week, it’s a dude with guns and on horseback. I think Brown in a truck (tho it makes several stops here and there) can out run him. BROWNS

Minnesota at N.Y. Giants-Vikings and Giants? Norseman take the long route to face the tall dudes. If this hasn’t been apparent over the past few weeks, I’m not a fan of the ship dudes traveling anywhere to face an opponent. Maybe the trip isn’t as bad as I’m imagining it to be. Perhaps its just up the river or something..might help if I consulted a map. But let’s pretend I did and still didn’t like it (which is more the case). Its still a trek no matter which way you slice it. Now, if the Norsemen had a slingshot at least, I might feel differently. I don’t see that being within their arsenal. GIANTS


New Orleans at Carolina-Saints and Panthers? The miracle men, again, have no idea what they’re going to do. Maybe I’m not meant to know or understand all that the Saints do, I should just be accepting of that. Panthers will invite them in but like the matchup I’ll discuss later, I’m just not sure I should go against a mascot who clearly has more power than the other. (I also know I’ve gone down this path before, but I also know I’m stubborn like that). SAINTS

Oakland at Kansas City-Raiders and Chiefs? I went with the east bay pirates last week, and darnit if they didn’t pillage their way out of Norway (by way of Minneapolis) somehow. I’m tempted again, and almost am ready to pull the trigger. But the indigenous peoples are well, indigenous. And I gotta give them the edge. I think the east bayers might sneak off with it. But I’m going…CHIEFS

Seattle at St. Louis-Seahawks and Rams? This one is tricky…I mean the newly re-fleeced sheep are hosting the Skua who have flown to the Midwest for this epic battle. Who has the edge here? I mean the sheep were nekikid for a while, do I trust that they have their groove back – sorta like Sampson in the Sampson/Delila story? I’m tempted. But the skua, they like to steal stuff and fleece is about as good a stuff to steal. I’m in a quandary. Let me go out on a limb and take the home animal. RAMS

Tennessee at Cincinnati-Titans and Bengals? Boy, yet another head scratcher. The Harry Hamlins failed me and my stellar analysis last week. And the Bengals as you know, I have no idea how to figure out what they will do and when. They’re home and that should mean something. Just what that means I obviously don’t know. I’m going to take the Harry Hamlins just because they have GOT to have more power than a tiger. This is no science-based measure, just a gut feeling based on my still vague memory of the movie in which Harry Hamlin clashed with others. TITANS

Washington at Tampa Bay-Redskins and Buccaneers? Indigenous people and pirates? In the bay of tampa, horses are of no help, the cannon advantage tilts the scale too. This one “seems” easy. BUCCANEERS


San Francisco at Arizona-49ers and Cardinals? Goldie is still in search of its gold pans, picks and sourdough rounds. Sorta felt like goldie dropped them somewhere last week. Even if goldie were to find them, who is goldie facing this week? Yup, that’s right, a bandity bird, not to be confused with the piratey bird goldie saw a couple weeks ago. But that’s neither here nor there. Goldie won their first meeting by snatching away the rounds this bird had in a sack over its shoulder. But this is in the bandity bird’s nest. CARDINALS

Baltimore at San Diego-Ravens and Chargers? Big talking bird has been silenced for a while and that’s just flat out weird. I mean Brown tried to let it chatter its way out of the box, but still slammed the box shut, taped it off and it apparently is still en route to San Diego as we speak, eh..type. Seems like tho, Poe’s big black bird likes the dreariness that comes with lightning bolts, almost as if that’s its natural habitat. But that lightning bolt is in its home thundercloud. CHARGERS

Philadelphia at New England-Eagles and Patriots? Eagles, at least the ones on the Presidential seal carry weapons in their talons, arrows and bolts as I recall. But man, they are going up with guys with muskets. And these dudes have shot up every living thing that has stood before them in mascot land. Battle of great American symbols, goes to the way of the gun. PATRIOTS


Monday, Nov. 26
Miami at Pittsburgh-Dolphins and Steelers? Flipper and dudes with molten stuff and furnesses (or furni?) Remember me saying Flipper is due? Well he is, because he’s still so darn cute. But Flipper can’t deal with high heat. So Flipper’s search continues. STEELERS

 

[VF21]

Oops!

Boy, going to Sacramento for the holiday certainly through me off-schedule. I'm not giving up, though. I'll be back with a vengeance next week, MBF, bouyed by the victory of my NINERS in OT.

 

[VF21]

Week 11 results...

Raiders at Vikings - VIKINGS - CORRECT

Rams at 49ers - 49ERS - INCORRECT

Giants at Lions - LIONS - INCORRECT

Buccaneers at Falcons - BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Panthers at Packers - PACKERS - CORRECT

Saints at Texans - SAINTS - INCORRECT

Browns at Ravens - BROWNS - CORRECT

Chiefs at Colts - COLTS - CORRECT

Cardinals at Bengals - BENGALS - INCORRECT

Dolphins at Eagles - EAGLES - CORRECT

Chargers at Jaguars - CHARGERS - INCORRECT

Steelers at Jets - STEELERS - INCORRECT

Bears at Seahawks - SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

Redskins at Cowboys - COWBOYS - CORRECT

Patriots at Bills - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Titans at Broncos - TITANS - INCORRECT

And...

Arizona at Cincinnati-Cardinals and Bengals? CARDINALS - CORRECT

Carolina at Green Bay-Panthers and Packers? PACKERS - CORRECT

Cleveland at Baltimore-Browns and Ravens? BROWNS- CORRECT

Kansas City at Indianapolis-Chiefs and Colts? COLTS - CORRECT

Miami at Philadelphia-Dolphins and Eagles? EAGLES - CORRECT

New Orleans at Houston-Saints and Texans? SAINTS - INCORRECT

N.Y. Giants at Detroit-Giants and Lions? GIANTS - CORRECT

Oakland at Minnesota-Raiders and Vikings? RAIDERS - INCORRECT

San Diego at Jacksonville-Chargers and Jaguars? JAGUARS - CORRECT

Tampa Bay at Atlanta-Buccaneers and Falcons? BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Pittsburgh at N.Y. Jets-Steelers and Jets? STEELERS - INCORRECT

Chicago at Seattle-Bears and Seahawks? SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

St. Louis at San Francisco-Rams and 49ers? RAMS - CORRECT

Washington at Dallas-Redskins and Cowboys? COWBOYS - CORRECT

New England at Buffalo-Patriots and Bills? PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Tennessee at Denver-Titans and Broncos? TITANS - INCORRECT

Results:

MBF 12-4 for a new total of 103-57 (64.4%)
VF21 9-7 for a new total of 86-74 (53.8%)

NICE job, MBF. No wonder I didn't bother with Week 12. I think you're getting this mascot melee stuff down pretty nicely...

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Thanks...so far I'm statistically better than flipping a coin...I'm working towards savant status tho

You also have me having one more correct than I actually got right - %*$%* Titans!!!

 

[VF21]

Thanks...so far I'm statistically better than flipping a coin...I'm working towards savant status tho

You also have me having one more correct than I actually got right - %*$%* Titans!!!

Fixed.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 13

Thursday, Nov. 29
Green Bay at Dallas-Packers and Cowboys? Packing dudes take to the road and come across dudes on horseback with six shooters. I can see some sort of symbiotic relationship between these two mascots, I mean the master packer teaching the young gunslinger how to pack stuff it has bagged all season? Can't you picture that if you close your eyes and squint real hard? Well, I did, then I remembered the packing dudes were on the road, that plant makes a big difference. Dude on horseback knows exactly where all his smokehouses and canning cellar stuff is and may be just as adept. COWBOYS


Sunday, Dec. 2
Atlanta at St. Louis-Falcons and Rams? Man baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds again. But I tellya what, the sheep, who got buzzed last week, are still home and don't want to lose any more of that fleece. As baaaaaaaaaaaaaad as those bad bird falcons are, I don't see them being able to operate the shears. RAMS

Buffalo at Washington-Bills and Redskins? Heavy hearted indigenous folk host the buffadudes. My analysis is taking a moment of silence and donning a black patch for this one. REDSKINS

Detroit at Minnesota-Lions and Vikings? Remember back in week 3 or so? I went with the analysis related to this?"[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] ...[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]my research tells me that back in the day (the 11th century to be exact), a band of wacky Swedish vikings floated over somewhere and defaced the famous Pireaus Lion , a statute of well, a lion, that was sculpted as a symbol of the city's patron saint, Saint Mark. Their graffiti essentially said (roughly translated and liberally interpreted by me) "we came, we saw, we wrote on your lion...deal with it). I can see round two of this viking/lion rumble in Detroiteaus evening up the series.." I see round 3 going back to the Norsemen, because well, they're on their home pillaging ship ready to tag stuff on their way out of the harbor. VIKINGS
[/FONT]
Houston at Tennessee –Texans and Titans? The last time these two teams matched up, I managed to pick the winning mascot. But it wasn't out of any elaborate analysis, I believe I took them "just because". That shall be my new fall back analysis. The Harry Hamlins managed to win on the road last time, which maybe should mean that the guys on horseback will win on Harry's turf. TEXANS

[/FONT]
Jacksonville at Indianapolis-Jaguars and Colts? Woooooow. My two favorite mascots going head to head again. Yaguara played well against the horsies with the stash of shoes. But not well enough. I think that trend continues, the (allegedly amplified) power of the shoe is just too much for the ferocity and power of yaguara. COLTS

N.Y. Jets at Miami-Jets and Dolphins? Talk about hapless mascots…sheesh. Somebody is going to win this game, I’m just not sure who I believe it will be. Weird isn’t it that Flipper got the conditions it needed to have even footing..eh, finning against a person. Even in the water, Flipper, cuteness and all, could not take advantage. Flipper is home, and goshdarnit, I think Flipper might have learned a thing or two. Less water this week, Flipper still will be able to get off the snide. DOLPHINS

San Diego at Kansas City-Chargers and Chiefs? Last time I analyzed this matchup, I missed the boat on it. I thought the legendary relationship between the the symbol and the indigenous mascot would hold some weight. Perhaps I miscalculated because the game was not played in the pacific northwest...at least that's the only thing that's making sense to me now, I thought I had that nailed. They are even further away from the PNW, so perhaps using reverse logic it makes sense for me to go in this direction. CHARGERS

Seattle at Philadelphia-Seahawks and Eagles? Birdo a birdo baby. Skua flies waaaaaaaaaaaay back east in some sort of weird migratory pattern. I mean seriously, is it any warmer in Philly than it is in Seattle? I don't think so either. But back to the matchup, the national symbol bird, majestic and noble as it is represents the good and the piratety bird, represents all that is not good, and that has to mean something in the analysis. Sure, I know you're saying "hey MBF, didn't this good versus not so good analysis blow up in your face last time you invoked it? Perhaps, but it's time for goodness to prevail this time. EAGLES

San Francisco at Carolina-49ers and Panthers? Why is it that I rarely have a good idea about goldie's matchups? I need to figure that out in the offseason because I haven't had a good feeling - actually, most of the time I've been devoid of feeling. But goldie reached back to his claim-jumping roots - historically and weekoneically. What does that mean tho rolling into a lair/den/whatever for a matchup with a big black stealthy animal? If you said, "hell if I know", you were inside my head a few seconds ago. I should take goldie because at the very least, it might lure the big cat with the sourdough, but it's under duress and I don't have time to reach for my analytical aid (read: coin to flip). 49ERS

Cleveland at Arizona-Browns and Cardinals? Hmmmm...brown is still trying to do for me, and I sorta like what brown has done for me at this point. But do I like it going up against the bandity bird? I mean last time, it boxed the chattering bird. That would give me pause if I had wings and feathers. This matchup could get silly, sorta like the Sylvester and Tweety epic battles have gone in the glory days. At least that's the slapstick mental image going on for me when I think about this one. If I carry this further, it seems that Tweety some times came out on top when he had no business doing so. He won't have any business doing so this week tho, Brown is pretty handy with packing tape and boxes. BROWNS

Denver at Oakland-Broncos and Raiders? Despite the altitude and greater familiarity of the terrain, the young bucking horses nearly coughed the game up to the east bay pirates who were way the heck off course in some mountains a mile above sea level. The pirates are in their home east bay waters and very well might figure out how to get the booty they left behind last time. RAIDERS

N.Y. Giants at Chicago-Giants and Bears? Tall dude and a bear. I again am going to reach back to the theory that bears and things up high aren't a good matchup for bear. Granted, bear could have a sling shot, or an axe to chop down the beanstalk, but that's a lot of extrapolation to come up with a reason why the height advantage isn't an actual advantage. GIANTS

Tampa Bay at New Orleans-Buccaneers and Saints? THIS was the matchup where I first invoked the good vs not so good mascot hypothesis. And yes, as you reminded me, it blew up. Partly I believe because east coast pirates were in the Bay of Tampa. Now they're sailing into the bayou to face the miracle men who may have some miracles left in the bag of tricks...eh, miracles. Now, I could either learn from my lesson, or I could try again. As they say, fool me once...BUCCANEERS

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh-Bengals and Steelers? Boy, the dudes with the furness and hot molten stuff nearly had their crib fail them. Flipper tried to douse the high heat. Bengal, I just don't think travels with that much water. But does it need to? Bengal's lineage gives it a pretty hot temperature pedigree (or maybe I'm just making stuff up because its a short week). Sure it gets hot where Bengal's ancestors come from, but furness hot and no tank of water in its carry on bag? STEELERS

Monday, Dec. 3
New England at Baltimore-Patriots and Ravens? Last time musket dudes faced a bird, it was the national symbol, a national symbol I also noted was armed (or taloned) with weaponry of its own. Be darned if the eagle didn’t nearly beat the minutemen. The bird they’ll see this week will not have weapons, unless you consider incessant squawking a weapon. I’m not going to do it, since the squawking ain’t done nothing ofr the big black bird lately. PATRIOTS

 

[VF21]

Since we're not Yahoo I'll do the rest later but I want to make sure I get my prediction in for tonight's game:

Packers @ Cowboys - Those canning folk are pretty nasty but they don't carry six-shooters as part of their daily routine. Got to go with the guys who are truly home on the range. COWBOYS

 

[VF21]

Week 12 results:

Green Bay at Detroit-Packers and Lions? PACKERS - CORRECT
N.Y. Jets at Dallas-Jets and Cowboys? COWBOYS - CORRECT
Indianapolis at Atlanta-Colts and Falcons? COLTS - CORRECT
Buffalo at Jacksonville-Bills and Jaguars? JAGUARS - CORRECT
Denver at Chicago-Broncos and Bears?
Houston at Cleveland-Texans and Browns? BROWNS - CORRECT
Minnesota at N.Y. Giants-Vikings and Giants? GIANTS - INCORRECT
New Orleans at Carolina-Saints and Panthers? SAINTS - CORRECT
Oakland at Kansas City-Raiders and Chiefs? CHIEFS - INCORRECT
Seattle at St. Louis-Seahawks and Rams? RAMS - INCORRECT
Tennessee at Cincinnati-Titans and Bengals? TITANS - INCORRECT
Washington at Tampa Bay-Redskins and Buccaneers? BUCCANEERS - CORRECT
San Francisco at Arizona-49ers and Cardinals? CARDINALS - INCORRECT
Baltimore at San Diego-Ravens and Chargers? CHARGERS - CORRECT
Philadelphia at New England-Eagles and Patriots? PATRIOTS - CORRECT
Miami at Pittsburgh-Dolphins and Steelers? STEELERS - CORRECT

MBF 10-5 for a new total of 113-62 (64.6%)
VF21 - still 86-74 (53.8%)

 

[VF21]

Remaining games for week 13:

Falcons at Rams - I hate the Rams but they have to get the nod at home. RAMS

Bills at Redskins - A team honoring one of their own will put up an unbeatable fight. REDSKINS

Lions at Vikings - It's winter and I suspect the poor carnivous beasts will find the going very tough in Minnesota. VIKINGS

Texans at Titans - The edge to the hometown folk simply because of the size differential. TITANS

Jaguars at Colts - The poor little ponies are in for some unfriendly visitors. I suspect this is going to be a surprising week for the jungle predators. JAGUARS

Jets at Dolphins - If the poor sea mammal is ever going to win it will be against the only opponent they face who can rust. DOLPHINS

Chargers at Chiefs - The noble steed may be a little too far from home. That battle gear gets awfully heavy after a while. CHIEFS

Seahawks at Eagles - Eagles are nice birds. Seahawks are sneaky and not adverse to stealing whatever they can get their talons on. I think they'll steal this game. SEAHAWKS

49ers at Panthers - Gotta go with the guys. 49ERS

Browns at Cardinals - Browns are stepping up their pace and are in full game mode as the holidays approach. The poor little red bird doesn't stand a chance. BROWNS

Broncos at Raiders - Bucking swash, I believe the guys with the cutlasses and black powder pistols will rule the day. RAIDERS

Giants at Bears - Bears hibernate in the winter. For this reason, the really big guys should be able to stomp into Chicago and stomp back out with a win. GIANTS

Buccaneers at Saints - The Saints will come marching in and march back out with the most posts. SAINTS

Bengals at Steelers - Poor felines. Too much stuff that can hurt them in the home of the guys with the molten metal. STEELERS

Patriots and Ravens - A guy with a musket can shoot a hapless bird right out of the sky. PATRIOTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

I'm going to submit the rest later too, shoot...these Thurs games and full slates are gonna kill me

Thurs Dec 6

Chicago @ Washington –Bears and Redskins? Bear versus a hunter on the hunter's terrain and after the hunter let a buffadude leave the plains? The bear might be in trouble. REDSKINS

Remainder of the slate of games to follow later...

 

[VF21]

Ah crap. I am old and not able to deal easily with changes. I forgot ... again! And my daughter even called to remind me. Crap. I would have picked the guys who aren't hibernating this time of year...

 

[VF21]

Green Bay at Dallas-Packers and Cowboys? COWBOYS - CORRECT

Atlanta at St. Louis-Falcons and Rams? RAMS - CORRECT

Buffalo at Washington-Bills and Redskins? REDSKINS - INCORRECT

Detroit at Minnesota-Lions and Vikings? VIKINGS - CORRECT

Houston at Tennessee –Texans and Titans? TEXANS - INCORRECT

Jacksonville at Indianapolis-Jaguars and Colts? COLTS - CORRECT

N.Y. Jets at Miami-Jets and Dolphins? DOLPHINS - INCORRECT

San Diego at Kansas City-Chargers and Chiefs? CHARGERS - CORRECT

Seattle at Philadelphia-Seahawks and Eagles? EAGLES - INCORRECT

San Francisco at Carolina-49ers and Panthers? 49ERS - INCORRECT

Cleveland at Arizona-Browns and Cardinals? BROWNS - INCORRECT

Denver at Oakland-Broncos and Raiders? RAIDERS - CORRECT

N.Y. Giants at Chicago-Giants and Bears? GIANTS - CORRECT

Tampa Bay at New Orleans-Buccaneers and Saints? BUCCANEERS - CORRECT

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh-Bengals and Steelers? STEELERS - CORRECT

New England at Baltimore-Patriots and Ravens? PATRIOTS - CORRECT

And

Packers at Cowboys - COWBOYS - CORRECT

Falcons at Rams - RAMS - CORRECT

Bills at Redskins - REDSKINS - INCORRECT

Lions at Vikings - VIKINGS - CORRECT

Texans at Titans - TITANS - CORRECT

Jaguars at Colts - JAGUARS - INCORRECT

Jets at Dolphins - DOLPHINS - INCORRECT

Chargers at Chiefs - CHIEFS - INCORRECT

Seahawks at Eagles - SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

49ers at Panthers - 49ERS - INCORRECT

Browns at Cardinals - BROWNS - INCORRECT

Broncos at Raiders - RAIDERS - CORRECT

Giants at Bears - GIANTS - CORRECT

Buccaneers at Saints - SAINTS - INCORRECT

Bengals at Steelers - STEELERS - CORRECT

Patriots and Ravens - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

MBF... 113-62 plus 10-6 for new total of 123-68 (64.4%)
VF21... 86-74 plus 9-7 for new total of 95-81 (54%)

 

[VF21]

Week 14
Bears @ Redskins - no prediction

Raiders @ Packers - The guys in Green Bay aren't that hospitable, especially this time of year. Lambeau Field in December is not friendly to maraunding raiders or anyone else. PACKERS

Vikings @ 49ers - Logic dictates that the visiting Vikings will make short work of the depleted and disheartened seekers of gold. But I'm a 49er fan, and logic has nothing to do with it. 49ERS

Cowboys @ Lions - Lassos and six-shooters can beard the Lions in their den. COWBOYS

Dolphins @ Bills - The hapless sea mammals had their best chance to break their losing streak and failed to do so. They come into the wintry Buffalo and the guys wearing the buffalo hides will make it very tough on them. BILLS

Chargers @ Titans - The noble steed may prove to be too wily for the big guys - or Harry Hamlin. CHARGERS

Buccaneers @ Texans - Close call but I think the swashbucklers are a little more swashbuckling than the guys from the lone star state. BUCCANEERS

Rams @ Bengals - Gotta go with the pretty striped carnivores in a bit of an upset. Home cooking is just what the doctor ordered. BENGALS

Giants @ Eagles - Big guys should be able to knock the noble bird out of the sky. GIANTS

Panthers @ Jaguars - Classic battle of felinicity. Flip a coin but give the home field advantage. JAGUARS

Cardinals @ Seahawks - Just not sure how much of a fierce competitor the redbird is. SEAHAWKS

Browns @ Jets - Package guys in full battle mode and ready for revenge after losing to the redbirds. They'll knock the aircraft right out of the sky. BROWNS

Chiefs @ Broncos - Again the home field advantage comes into play as the terrain is tough in Denver this time of year. BRONCOS

Steelers @ Patriots - Guys with forges at tough at home but they can't take those things on the road. Edge to the guys who have defended their home turf more than once. PATRIOTS

Colts at Ravens - This is another classic matchup, as the guys who used to be in Baltimore come back to play in their old stadium against the guys who replaced them. Birds can be tough and feisty but battle-tested young horsies have sharper hooves. COLTS

Saints @ Falcons - The Saints march into Atlanta and, much like Sherman, the results could be ugly. SAINTS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 14 (remainder)

Sunday, Dec. 9
Carolina at Jacksonville-Panthers and Jaguars? See, we’re back to cat and cat, and as always I’m going to back my favorite yaguara. The game is being played in yaguara’s habitat, but even if it wasn’t, yaguara is bigger, stronger and um, ferocier. JAGUARS

Dallas at Detroit-Cowboys and Lions? This game is in a den, but dudes on horseback have guns. I’m going out on a limb and taking the hunter over its prey. COWBOYS

Miami at Buffalo-Dolphins and Bills? Wooo, I thought I had Flipper’s winning matchup, but alas it went the way its gone this year. Shoot. As with the analysis above, I’ve got another hunter (or at the very least a dude with a gun) and something that’s prey (um, to SOME other animal on the planet…I’m taking biological license here). Even if the dolphin could get over on a buffalo, its that metamorphic prowess that gets unsuspecting opponents every time, buffadude is getting very good at it. BILLS

N.Y. Giants at Philadelphia-Giants and Eagles? Well this might seem crazy, because a tall dude is a tall dude, and tallness has been a mitigating factor for me most of the time. But the national symbol, with the weapons in its talons is a formidable foe, especially when somebody comes into its nest. As if the beak and talons weren’t enough…its also packs bolts. Yikes. EAGLES


Oakland at Green Bay-Raiders and Packers? I like the shrinkwrap dudes over pirates all year, I’m not going to start bucking the trend now, especially when they have their plant nearby. PACKERS

San Diego at Tennessee-Chargers and Titans? Now HERE is a clash we can talk about. Forces of nature against the forces of Harry Hamlin. I don’t remember much about who all went up against Harry and his peeps in that movie, but a storm wouldn’t surprise me nor would some other Titan with some bolts either. I just seem to recall Harry having the upper hand. But that may just be Hollywood poisoning my mind and my ability to remember the classic mythology, reading is fundamental people! CHARGERS

St. Louis at Cincinnati-Rams and Bengals? Re-fleeced sheep have been feeling their oats (or barley or grass or whatever it is they eat or otherwise want to feel) and having that fleece back has made them pretty bold. So bold in fact I see them walking into a clearing with Bengal and beating the tiger out in the cold. Sure you say, natural habitat and familiarity with the climes and confines is important, but those factors only come into play by somebody who has never worn fleece. RAMS

Tampa Bay at Houston-Buccaneers and Texans? Even though the bandits eh, I meant pirates have pillaged their way around the league and the dudes on horseback, not so much. I’m leaning towards the home dudes just because…I mean the horse back thing makes them more agile in their movement than a bunch of dudes on ship can be. And sure, guns are no match for a cannon, but how many rounds can you get off at a time with a cannon. Plus, the Texas guys are in a fort. TEXANS
Arizona at Seattle-Cardinals and Seahawks? Piratety bird-a-Piratety Bird! Woo! I’m sticking with the home pirate bird just because this could go either way, both these birds are crafty about taking stuff they shouldn’t. SEAHAWKS

Minnesota at San Francisco-Vikings and 49ers. Ok, I presumed that goldie would not travel halfway across the continent to end up losing stuff and coming home empty handed. I guess I bought into the gold rush mentality that everybody else did back in the 1800s and figured, shoot easy way to get rich quick and thar’s gold in them thar hills or um..Carolina low country. Now the norse are coming in a big ship and don’t think they don’t have equal designs on goldie’s stash too. They’ve managed to stave off birds with bandit masks, but have a goose egg against Skua, the other pillaging bird. And the norsemen may be better at the pillaging. Uh oh. VIKINGS

Cleveland at N.Y. Jets-Browns and Jets? Brown in addition to trucks has a fleet of brown planes to work with to do for me. I think this fleet is gonna get appropriated so Brown can handle its business. BROWNS


Kansas City at Denver-Chiefs and Broncos? I boil this down simply and succinctly (for a change huh?) I know I tried this take before and it didn’t work, but as I confessed a few weeks ago, sometimes I’m stubborn (does this word count still qualify as succinct?) I’m taking a horserider/tamer over the wild pony. CHIEFS

Pittsburgh at New England-Steelers and Patriots? Somebody stoked the furness this week in hopes of melting the oddly increasingly imposing muskets the dudes from the Commons have defeated opponents with all season. I find the power of the musket quite difficult to understand since they have been anachronistically overmatched most of the time too. I’m tempted to go with the heat, but neither snow, wind or rain, or um..I guess now heat has kept the musket dudes from their appointed rounds (ask Ben Franklin). PATRIOTS

Indianapolis at Baltimore-Colts and Ravens? Yapping bird and a young horse (with the horseshoe supply, can’t forget those, those are VERRRRY important). See, the yaps were a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle too loud recently, and consumed the big black bird. I think the young horsies in addition to traveling with the ‘shoes they do, also have (allegedly) more acoustical equipment tucked away in the U’s on the sides of their helmet that will (allegedly) send the reverbs of the yapping back in the direction and the bird will drive itself mad. Genius strategy innit (allegedly)? COLTS

Monday, Dec. 10
New Orleans at Atlanta-Saints and Falcons? Good miracle men versus baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad birds. I’m not sure the falcons are “bad” in the evil sense I need for my analogy, but hey, I’m all about making stuff up that fits my thinking. Intervention and goodness should prevail, unless there is a (higher) reason for it not to that I continue to not understand or have revealed to me. SAINTS

 

[VF21]

Week 14
Bears @ Redskins - no prediction

Raiders @ Packers - PACKERS - CORRECT

Vikings @ 49ers - 49ERS - INCORRECT

Cowboys @ Lions - COWBOYS - CORRECT

Dolphins @ Bills - BILLS - CORRECT

Chargers @ Titans - CHARGERS - CORRECT

Buccaneers @ Texans - BUCCANEERS - INCORRECT

Rams @ Bengals - BENGALS - CORRECT

Giants @ Eagles - GIANTS - CORRECT

Panthers @ Jaguars - JAGUARS - CORRECT

Cardinals @ Seahawks - SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

Browns @ Jets - BROWNS - CORRECT

Chiefs @ Broncos - BRONCOS - CORRECT

Steelers @ Patriots - PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Colts at Ravens - COLTS - CORRECT

Saints @ Falcons - SAINTS - CORRECT

And...

Bears and Redskins? REDSKINS - CORRECT

Panthers and Jaguars? JAGUARS - CORRECT

Cowboys and Lions? COWBOYS - CORRECT

Dolphins and Bills? BILLS - CORRECT

Giants and Eagles? EAGLES - INCORRECT

Raiders and Packers? PACKERS - CORRECT

Chargers and Titans? CHARGERS - CORRECT

Rams and Bengals? RAMS - INCORRECT

Buccaneers and Texans? TEXANS - CORRECT

Cardinals and Seahawks? SEAHAWKS - CORRECT

Vikings and 49ers. VIKINGS - CORRECT

Browns and Jets? BROWNS - CORRECT

Chiefs and Broncos? CHIEFS - INCORRECT

Steelers and Patriots? PATRIOTS - CORRECT

Colts and Ravens? COLTS - CORRECT

Saints and Falcons? SAINTS - CORRECT

MBF... 123-68 plus 13-3 for new total of 136-71 (65.7%)
VF21... 95-81 plus 13-2 for new total of 108-83 (56.5%)

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Week 15

Confounded! These Thursday games.....I'll post the rest later.

Thursday, Dec. 13
Denver at Houston-Broncos and Texans? The horsies and the dudes that could tame and ride them? I'd be more analytical but man, its nearly kickoff. I'm taking the horse riders. TEXANS

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

$#$# travel day from hell , loss of three hours, lack of sleep, an EARLY wake up call this morning and a busy day today on the east coast....remaining slate of games later...

Saturday, December 15th

Cincinnati at San Francisco-Bengals and 49ers? Well, goldie has headed back west to home camp near the mother lode. Wandering into the neighbor hood is wayward Bengal who is nowhere near its natural habitat. Do tigers migrate or something? I dunno, but they are predators and goldie is technically prey. Goldie has the tools to keep the tiger at bay, notably gold findin tools that can double as weapons if need be, and of course firearms to stop tresspassers, which of course a bengal tiger would be in SF. But a tiger is formidable no mater how lost. BENGALS

 

[VF21]

ACK! There's a Saturday game???? And it's the 49ers? BLAST!!!

Bengals @ 49ers - Way too cold right now for the cute little felines in the city by the bay. (Hey, I can't help it. I have to find SOME reason, no matter how pathetic, to justify picking my guys...) 49ers

 

[PurpleHaze]

and it's on http://www.nfl.com/live for those who are not aware.

I watched online the Thursday game Houston/Denver which was neat. With this free service they don't provide every single down coverage as they dip in and out of live action - but it's still not bad at all.

 

[Monty'sBiggestFan]

Thanks PHaze....this is very handy!

 

[VF21]

Remaining games:

Colts at Raiders - The nasty guys with swords and cutlasses are due to kick the stuffing out of someone and the hapless little horsies could be their victims. RAIDERS

Ravens at Dolphins - I'm not sure how well Poe's nasty little bird can swim but it's pretty clear the finned mammals are going to be more comfortable at home. For that reason alone, I have to give them the edge. DOLPHINS

Cardinals at Saints - The Saints should have no trouble marching right over the pesky red birds. SAINTS

Packers at Rams - Poor little lambies. The guys from Green Bay are going to dress them up with cute little white things and serve them with mint jelly. PACKERS

Jets at Patriots - Muskets can be lethal at close range and the aircraft have done nothing of note lately. PATRIOTS

Bills at Browns - Don't mess with the package guys, especially around the holidays. BROWNS

Seahawks at Panthers - Feisty felines are good at bird-hunting. The marauding feathered visitor could have a long day. PANTHERS

Titans at Chiefs - No clue whatsoever so I'll go with the home field advantage. CHIEFS

Jaguars at Steelers - If you can't stand the heat stay the heck out of Pittsburgh. STEELERS

Falcons at Buccaneers - I can recall buccaneers with falcons on their wrists but I don't ever remember seeing a falcon with a buccaneer at his beak and call. BUCCANEERS

Eagles at Cowboys - Six-shooters and lassos and more should be enough to take care of the bird. COWBOYS

Lions at Chargers - The King of Beasts is going to have to work very hard and be very clever to beat the noble steed on his home turf. CHARGERS

Redskins at Giants - Much like the other similar matchup, I don't have a clue. GIANTS

Bears at Vikings - Vikings wore capes made of bearskins. VIKINGS