MBF's Guide to Picking the Winning Mascot
- Thread starter Monty'sBiggestFan
- Start date
Prophetess
Gallifrayain
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Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Goollleeeee! I still am having problems with the planes and that big black bird. I think there is another mascot or two I haven't quite figured out either.
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Week 5
Sunday, Oct. 7
Arizona at St. Louis- Cardinals and Rams? Red bird and a bald sheep? I obviously neglected to factor in the sneakiness of the cute little bird with the freaking BANDIT MASK on its face. I mean seriously, that bird stole from the furness dudes last week didn’t it? The bald sheep doesn’t have much left to take but stubblies, that might be enough…I have no idea what masked birds want when they jam an opponent up. CARDINALS
Atlanta at Tennessee-Falcons and Titans? Okeeee, I FINALLY have a bird amongst the Titans to help jog my memory of how the owl and Harry Hamlin interacted. I’m feeling the Titan here in this match-up. But shoot, it’s the baaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird Falcon again. The Titans have oodles of power going for them though, so I’m going that direction. TITANS
Carolina at New Orleans-Panthers and Saints? Hmmm. These miracle working folks haven’t lived up to their billing quite yet. I’m not sure where their best match-up is, their last animal match-up didn’t go well, and sadly they didn’t do well with morally inept folk or really powerful Harry Hamlins. They are again back in their sanctuary, I’m going on faith that that will prove beneficial to their beautification. SAINTS
Cleveland at New England-Browns and Patriots? I’m not sure Brown can do anything for me against dudes with muskets. In fact, I’m harboring images of Brown’s truck in the Atlantic with packages floating around it – ESPECIALLY if Brown was delivering anything from Tetley’s. PATRIOTS
Detroit at Washington-Lions and Redskins? In a theme that will be recurring... nothing about this match-up strikes me one way or another. My research hasn’t been very helpful, unless I consider mountain lions as the lion here which isn’t what this mascot is, so again? I’m stuck. I’m going with the home mascot, who may be on horseback and who may have a weapon-no better triple threat advantage, I say. REDSKINS
Jacksonville at Kansas City-Jaguars and Chiefs? Back to the research for this one…According to the beliefs of the Yekuana tribe in Venezuela, the jaguar (and many big cats for that matter) was a symbol of power and ferocity. When they carved stools in the shape of jaguars, if a member of the tribe sat on it, it was believed that he would acquire those same qualities. Sooooo, I guess what it boils down to is whether or not yaguara is gonna left the chief from KC sit on him? Eh, no. JAGUARS
Miami at Houston-Dolphins and Texans? Didn’t the sea mammal go up against a Texas cowboyish type mammal already this season? I’m almost ready to go with the sea mammal if for no other reason that I don’t think all Texans have lassos and that seemed to be the mitigating factor in the other cowboyish matchup. But let me go ahead and be stereotypical and give the Texans a horse and lassos like their counterparts up the interstate, and perhaps guns to boot. Also,the dolphin has unfortunately not fared well against other mammals or inanimate things operated by mammals, I’m not sure why I should expect a different outcome this week. TEXANS
N.Y. Jets at N.Y. Giants-Jets and Giants? Ok, this is a damn stretch, but see if you can follow my logic here. Tall dude and a plane…first image to strike me was big ape hanging off the side of a tall building swatting at planes. (see? streeeeeetch) I think a plane or two lost before big ape fell off the building. GIANTS
Seattle at Pittsburgh-Seahawks and Steelers? Second week in a row dudes with molten ingredients formed into something face a bird. I figured their furness and vat of hot stuff were no match for pretty red bird with a mask on its face. Perhaps I’ve shortchanged the red bird’s ability to steal stuff, like say a victory against a furness wielding Pennsylvanian. This is a much more formidable bird (or conglomerate of birds as my fake degree in ornithology has taught me) which of course only means that furness wielding Pennsylvanian will win in this move up the baaaaaaaad bird continuum. STEELERS
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis-Buccaneers and Colts? Goodness gracious, computer again blew UP trying to tabulate this one. Its allllllllllllll about the tiny horseshoes still. COLTS
Baltimore at San Francisco –Ravens and 49ers? Second straight week goldie is going up against a bird, third time overall this season. Coming into this matchup, goldie is .500 against winged creatures. I think I’m 1-4 figuring out when the hell big black talking bird can get over on its opponent. I see goldie being mad that his/her rounds were nabbed and the bird flattened their gold pans into the ground with its wings last week and telling the big black bird to shut the hell up. I equally could see the big black bird making goldie verrrrry jumpy since they were jumpy and confused last week and as far as I know seahawks don’t talk incessantly in a crazy-making way. I’m going to give goldie the edge if for no other reason that ravens are in mid migration and could be tired, flying and talking take a lot of energy. 49ERS
San Diego at Denver-Chargers and Broncos? Geez. I’m not feeling anything about this match-up at all. When the horsey had to play at home after bolts of lightning landed around its house, the electrostatic charge remaining the air allowed it to steal a win away from the wayward pirate. What happens when the lightning itself arrives IN its house? I have ZERO idea. On the theory that lightning is dangerous no matter what or wherever it is…CHARGERS
Chicago at Green Bay-Bears and Packers? Boy…I’m seeing nothing but canned bear here for some reason. The bear is going to wander in that packing plant and I’m not seeing it come out unpalletized and unshrinkwrapped. PACKERS
Monday, Oct. 8
Dallas at Buffalo-Cowboys and Bills? Hmmmm. Cowboys AND a buffalo or wildwest dude? I smell a shoot out one way or another. Cowbody trumps buffalo, and cowboys from Texas trump cowboys from New York on principle alone. Cody, WY? Again, I’m feeling more authenticity on the part of the wild west dude in this match-up. Wild west dude in NY has become too gentrified. COWBOYS
Sunday, Oct. 7
Arizona at St. Louis- Cardinals and Rams? Red bird and a bald sheep? I obviously neglected to factor in the sneakiness of the cute little bird with the freaking BANDIT MASK on its face. I mean seriously, that bird stole from the furness dudes last week didn’t it? The bald sheep doesn’t have much left to take but stubblies, that might be enough…I have no idea what masked birds want when they jam an opponent up. CARDINALS
Atlanta at Tennessee-Falcons and Titans? Okeeee, I FINALLY have a bird amongst the Titans to help jog my memory of how the owl and Harry Hamlin interacted. I’m feeling the Titan here in this match-up. But shoot, it’s the baaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird Falcon again. The Titans have oodles of power going for them though, so I’m going that direction. TITANS
Carolina at New Orleans-Panthers and Saints? Hmmm. These miracle working folks haven’t lived up to their billing quite yet. I’m not sure where their best match-up is, their last animal match-up didn’t go well, and sadly they didn’t do well with morally inept folk or really powerful Harry Hamlins. They are again back in their sanctuary, I’m going on faith that that will prove beneficial to their beautification. SAINTS
Cleveland at New England-Browns and Patriots? I’m not sure Brown can do anything for me against dudes with muskets. In fact, I’m harboring images of Brown’s truck in the Atlantic with packages floating around it – ESPECIALLY if Brown was delivering anything from Tetley’s. PATRIOTS
Detroit at Washington-Lions and Redskins? In a theme that will be recurring... nothing about this match-up strikes me one way or another. My research hasn’t been very helpful, unless I consider mountain lions as the lion here which isn’t what this mascot is, so again? I’m stuck. I’m going with the home mascot, who may be on horseback and who may have a weapon-no better triple threat advantage, I say. REDSKINS
Jacksonville at Kansas City-Jaguars and Chiefs? Back to the research for this one…According to the beliefs of the Yekuana tribe in Venezuela, the jaguar (and many big cats for that matter) was a symbol of power and ferocity. When they carved stools in the shape of jaguars, if a member of the tribe sat on it, it was believed that he would acquire those same qualities. Sooooo, I guess what it boils down to is whether or not yaguara is gonna left the chief from KC sit on him? Eh, no. JAGUARS
Miami at Houston-Dolphins and Texans? Didn’t the sea mammal go up against a Texas cowboyish type mammal already this season? I’m almost ready to go with the sea mammal if for no other reason that I don’t think all Texans have lassos and that seemed to be the mitigating factor in the other cowboyish matchup. But let me go ahead and be stereotypical and give the Texans a horse and lassos like their counterparts up the interstate, and perhaps guns to boot. Also,the dolphin has unfortunately not fared well against other mammals or inanimate things operated by mammals, I’m not sure why I should expect a different outcome this week. TEXANS
N.Y. Jets at N.Y. Giants-Jets and Giants? Ok, this is a damn stretch, but see if you can follow my logic here. Tall dude and a plane…first image to strike me was big ape hanging off the side of a tall building swatting at planes. (see? streeeeeetch) I think a plane or two lost before big ape fell off the building. GIANTS
Seattle at Pittsburgh-Seahawks and Steelers? Second week in a row dudes with molten ingredients formed into something face a bird. I figured their furness and vat of hot stuff were no match for pretty red bird with a mask on its face. Perhaps I’ve shortchanged the red bird’s ability to steal stuff, like say a victory against a furness wielding Pennsylvanian. This is a much more formidable bird (or conglomerate of birds as my fake degree in ornithology has taught me) which of course only means that furness wielding Pennsylvanian will win in this move up the baaaaaaaad bird continuum. STEELERS
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis-Buccaneers and Colts? Goodness gracious, computer again blew UP trying to tabulate this one. Its allllllllllllll about the tiny horseshoes still. COLTS
Baltimore at San Francisco –Ravens and 49ers? Second straight week goldie is going up against a bird, third time overall this season. Coming into this matchup, goldie is .500 against winged creatures. I think I’m 1-4 figuring out when the hell big black talking bird can get over on its opponent. I see goldie being mad that his/her rounds were nabbed and the bird flattened their gold pans into the ground with its wings last week and telling the big black bird to shut the hell up. I equally could see the big black bird making goldie verrrrry jumpy since they were jumpy and confused last week and as far as I know seahawks don’t talk incessantly in a crazy-making way. I’m going to give goldie the edge if for no other reason that ravens are in mid migration and could be tired, flying and talking take a lot of energy. 49ERS
San Diego at Denver-Chargers and Broncos? Geez. I’m not feeling anything about this match-up at all. When the horsey had to play at home after bolts of lightning landed around its house, the electrostatic charge remaining the air allowed it to steal a win away from the wayward pirate. What happens when the lightning itself arrives IN its house? I have ZERO idea. On the theory that lightning is dangerous no matter what or wherever it is…CHARGERS
Chicago at Green Bay-Bears and Packers? Boy…I’m seeing nothing but canned bear here for some reason. The bear is going to wander in that packing plant and I’m not seeing it come out unpalletized and unshrinkwrapped. PACKERS
Monday, Oct. 8
Dallas at Buffalo-Cowboys and Bills? Hmmmm. Cowboys AND a buffalo or wildwest dude? I smell a shoot out one way or another. Cowbody trumps buffalo, and cowboys from Texas trump cowboys from New York on principle alone. Cody, WY? Again, I’m feeling more authenticity on the part of the wild west dude in this match-up. Wild west dude in NY has become too gentrified. COWBOYS
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Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Some people have too much time on their hands.
Hilarious!Thanks for the effort.
Never too much time on my hands to be completely irreverent, I spend 99.4% of my waking moments that way.
Glad to have you back among the posting GophersFan...you have been missed
(Your avatar still frightens me )
Prophetess
Gallifrayain
Titans
Oilers
Chiefs
Rams
Patriots
Saints
Jets
Steelers
Redskins
Colts
Broncos
49ers
Packers
Buffalo
Oilers
Chiefs
Rams
Patriots
Saints
Jets
Steelers
Redskins
Colts
Broncos
49ers
Packers
Buffalo
Cleveland at New England - The Browns may have some real problems delivering the goods in New England. Gotta go with the hometown favorites - PATRIOTS
Seattle at Pittsburgh - The birds from the coast may have more than a bit of trouble battling Steelers on their home turf. STEELERS
Carolina at New Orleans - Panthers are mightly predators but the Saints have home turf advantage. SAINTS
Detroit at Washington - The proud beasts might prove to be troublesome to the folks from Washington. Now if the team were only named the "politicos" we could all root for the Lions to devour them. I think it may happen anyway. LIONS
New York Jets at New York Giants - Once again, Jets have missiles and speed and should be able to outmaneuver the outstretched arms of the Giants. JETS
Miami at Houston - The intelligent creatures from the sea could be in big trouble on land in Houston. TEXANS
Atlanta at Tennessee - The fiesty little birds fly into Titan territory but they may end up with their wings being clipped. TITANS
Jacksonville at Kansas City - The wily jungle beast could run into a lot of problems with the concrete jungle of Kansas City but they have speed on their side. JAGUARS
Arizona at St. Louis - The red birds head to the wilds of St. Louis to face the Rams. Probably the most boring game of the day but one probably has to give the nod to the sleepy little lambs. RAMS
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis - The guys with the cutlasses and nifty ships may be in a bit of trouble facing the fiesty horsies. COLTS
San Diego at Denver - Let's see. Big horsies who carried armored knights into battle against their wild-running cousins. Have to go with the guys with more endurance. CHARGERS
Baltimore at San Francisco - Poe's evil bird flies into the land of the gold-seekers. No claim-jumping allowed in the city by the bay. 49ERS
Chicago at Green Bay - The bears are preparing for hibernation. Going to Green Bay should fit nicely with their plans. BEARS
Dallas at Buffalo - The guys who really worked the range vs. the guys who simply preteneded to be cowboys in Wild West shows. Gotta got with the hated COWBOYS.
Seattle at Pittsburgh - The birds from the coast may have more than a bit of trouble battling Steelers on their home turf. STEELERS
Carolina at New Orleans - Panthers are mightly predators but the Saints have home turf advantage. SAINTS
Detroit at Washington - The proud beasts might prove to be troublesome to the folks from Washington. Now if the team were only named the "politicos" we could all root for the Lions to devour them. I think it may happen anyway. LIONS
New York Jets at New York Giants - Once again, Jets have missiles and speed and should be able to outmaneuver the outstretched arms of the Giants. JETS
Miami at Houston - The intelligent creatures from the sea could be in big trouble on land in Houston. TEXANS
Atlanta at Tennessee - The fiesty little birds fly into Titan territory but they may end up with their wings being clipped. TITANS
Jacksonville at Kansas City - The wily jungle beast could run into a lot of problems with the concrete jungle of Kansas City but they have speed on their side. JAGUARS
Arizona at St. Louis - The red birds head to the wilds of St. Louis to face the Rams. Probably the most boring game of the day but one probably has to give the nod to the sleepy little lambs. RAMS
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis - The guys with the cutlasses and nifty ships may be in a bit of trouble facing the fiesty horsies. COLTS
San Diego at Denver - Let's see. Big horsies who carried armored knights into battle against their wild-running cousins. Have to go with the guys with more endurance. CHARGERS
Baltimore at San Francisco - Poe's evil bird flies into the land of the gold-seekers. No claim-jumping allowed in the city by the bay. 49ERS
Chicago at Green Bay - The bears are preparing for hibernation. Going to Green Bay should fit nicely with their plans. BEARS
Dallas at Buffalo - The guys who really worked the range vs. the guys who simply preteneded to be cowboys in Wild West shows. Gotta got with the hated COWBOYS.
Standings so far:
Week 1
MBF - 9-7
Prophetess - 8-8
VF21 - 9-7
Week 2
MBF - 11-5
Prophetess - 9-7
VF21 - 8-8
Week 3
MBF - 8-8
Prophetess - 0-0
VF21 - 9-7
Week 4
MBF - 8-6
Prophetess - 8-6
VF21 - 6-8
Week 5
MBF - 11-3
Prophetess - 6-8
VF21 - 9-5
Season to date:
MBF - 47-29 (61.8%)
VF21 - 41-35 (53.9%)
Prophetess - 31-29 (51.6%)
Week 1
MBF - 9-7
Prophetess - 8-8
VF21 - 9-7
Week 2
MBF - 11-5
Prophetess - 9-7
VF21 - 8-8
Week 3
MBF - 8-8
Prophetess - 0-0
VF21 - 9-7
Week 4
MBF - 8-6
Prophetess - 8-6
VF21 - 6-8
Week 5
MBF - 11-3
Prophetess - 6-8
VF21 - 9-5
Season to date:
MBF - 47-29 (61.8%)
VF21 - 41-35 (53.9%)
Prophetess - 31-29 (51.6%)
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6th
Homer Fan Since 1985
Scoff if you like, but I know someone who actually won a pretty large office pool a number of years ago using the Mascot formula.
Scoff?? No way. MBF is whooping my butt by using the Mascot formula.
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
As a friend of mine 6th? You will get free insider access to my new pay per view website and 900 number football pick empire once I perfect my mascot system.
I was a couple of whiskers away from perfection (thanks for nothing Nedney, Favre/Jones and whoever from the Saints I can blame for their loss
)
I was a couple of whiskers away from perfection (thanks for nothing Nedney, Favre/Jones and whoever from the Saints I can blame for their loss
)
As a friend of mine 6th? You will get free insider access to my new pay per view website and 900 number football pick empire once I perfect my mascot system.
I just hope you'll remember the little people once you're rich and famous. You know, like the person who first brought the possible existence of your talents to your attention?
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Free passes for everyone responsible...plus I will not charge for the link through from here to my gawdy, sensory overload, poorly developed website, I will mention you in the acknowledgement in my book and you get first choice re: who plays you in my biopic.
Free passes for everyone responsible...plus I will not charge for the link through from here to my gawdy, sensory overload, poorly developed website, I will mention you in the acknowledgement in my book and you get first choice re: who plays you in my biopic.
You are a kind and gentle soul, and your kindness shall not go unrewarded.
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Week 6
Sunday, Oct. 14
Cincinnati at Kansas City-Bengals and Chiefs? I can be lazy and apply the same goshdarn logic I used last week when the big cat yaguara faced the chief from KC. Yet another stool in the shape of a big cat (one not exactly indigenous to Venezuela, but work with me here as I extrapolate (read: reach for the Staples “easy” button)) and search and replace from last week. Big cat Bengal will not let the chief sit on the stool carved in its likeness either. BENGALS
Houston at Jacksonville-Texans and Jaguars? Yaguara against a hunter….normally one should go with the weapon-aided dude on horseback. But this dude has been erratic. Yaguara, on the otherhand, was solid against last week’s hunting type mammal. Well, they may not have wanted to actually hunt yaguara more they wanted to acquire something yaguara had – namely yaguara’s ferocity and power. Sorta like hunters want to acquire flesh and fur of the animals they chase. As with last week, I think yaguara says eh…no, I don’t think I’m ready to part ways with my aforementioned ferocity and power. JAGUARS.
Miami at Cleveland-Dolphins and Browns? Can Brown do something for me this week? Let’s look inside the numbers…Brown struck out against people,be they pirates, dudes with either muskets or vats of molten stuff, however Brown is perfect against the animal kingdom tho. Dolphins have struggled against everybody and thing they’ve faced. I’m going to give Brown the edge here since sonar may not transmit from inside the truck and if properly encased in packing popcorn, Dolphin won’t so much as make a detectable peep. BROWNS
Minnesota at Chicago-Vikings and Bears? Fresh off the ultimate Houdini act of escaping a packing plant a peeps with cans, pallets and shrinkwrap. I’m still not sure how that happened, I just know I saw the bear walking out smiling with a hunk of cheese it grabbed on the way out. When bears are able to do that I’m feeling the big bear can have its way with a ship load of Norsemen. Seriously, the packers had him in shrinkwrap and the bear STIILL escaped…BEARS
Philadelphia at N.Y. Jets-Eagles and Jets? According to my notes, the plane (with or without missles) has faced a bird of less national stature, majesty and size and lost. In a tale of the tape, the eagle has better reach and if you take a look at the presidential seal? Eagle carries weapons of its own, so the airfight should be even. Since offing eagles is still illegal, the J E T S jets jets jets are at a decided disadvantage. The bird will toss some of them bolts they conveniently carry in their talon for such an occasion and it won’t be pretty for the planes. EAGLES.
St. Louis at Baltimore-Rams and Ravens? Geez. Ok. Still bald sheep take on a talking bird. The same talking bird whose prowess against other mascots seems to elude my computer based permutations. For the second week the bestubbled sheep see a bird and it’s yapping will mimic the herder’s “get your butts in that corral RIGHT now!” (I don’t herd sheep, but I imagine that’s what sheep herders who don’t have sheep dogs say to make them run into the fenced off areas). This in raven speak is probably equivalent to “nevermore” RAVENS
Tennessee at Tampa Bay-Titans and Buccaneers? Harry Hamlins and all their power come down from the heavens to face a bunch of pirates in the Bay of Tampa. Now I do recall in addition to the other things I vaguely remember Harry Hamlin being involved with besides the owl and Pegasus, is a ship. Let’s say a hydra somehow spouts up from the Bay of Tampa…(stranger things have happened no?) who handles that better? Ok, if that’s too much of a stretch, let me break it down more succinctly. Harry Hamlin’s power > Pirates’ power. TITANS
Washington at Green Bay-Redskins and Packers? Hmmmm…the packing plant angle failed me last week. I’m still confused as to how that bear got out of there. This is striking me as a battle of food preservers. Indigenous peoples have had a long, rich history of technologies that they shared with folks arriving to the continent. But the Packers..eh, more modern technologies. I'm torn since I am respectful of the past as well. I'm going with home packing technology, but I'm torn (if I haven't said that already). PACKERS
Carolina at Arizona-Panthers and Cardinals? Back with my new favorite bandit bird and the panther. Panther completed flailed when it last faced a bird. But gosh, I probably should cut it some slack since it was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcon and all. I’m not feeling good about panther’s chances against a bird that’s sneaky. This bird punked a dude wielding a furness, so it is working a little badness of its own. CARDINALS
New England at Dallas-Patriots and Cowboys? Here we GO! Declaration of Independence meets Manifest Destiny! Man, this is what one studies history for innit? I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want to go with the dudes on horseback with their six shooters, because I really do. The advancement of firearm technology between these two mascots wants me to go there. But here’s why I won’t. Part of being a patriot (of the dude with a musket variety) is being ready at a moments notice. Or to use the correct parlance, to be who can be ready in a minute to go to battle (or to dump tea into a bay). And there is a craftiness associated with that, and I think that craftiness allowed them to get over on an opponent way way way way back in the day. PATRIOTS
Oakland at San Diego-Raiders and Chargers? The bolt of energy surely was dangerous last week. The pirate strikes me as folk impervious to danger to some extent . However sailing into the eye of a storm, while admirally bold, is also foolhardy. Lightning has home..eh, seas advantage. CHARGERS
New Orleans at Seattle-Saints and Seahawks? The computer has had a difficult time with the Saints, I mean seriously, they had a miracle square in the sights last week and somehow a panther made it happen instead. Simple odds suggest that even a partial miracle has to be in the back pocket at some point no? Well, I’m not thinking so this week, since the piratey bird might follow the path blazed by the panther. SEAHAWKS
Monday, Oct. 15
N.Y. Giants at Atlanta-Giants and Falcons? Big tall guys and a bird. Big tall dudes just got done defeating planes and earlier this season beat another bird. They clearly have developed a prowess with things that fly. (Even though they face a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird). GIANTS.
Sunday, Oct. 14
Cincinnati at Kansas City-Bengals and Chiefs? I can be lazy and apply the same goshdarn logic I used last week when the big cat yaguara faced the chief from KC. Yet another stool in the shape of a big cat (one not exactly indigenous to Venezuela, but work with me here as I extrapolate (read: reach for the Staples “easy” button)) and search and replace from last week. Big cat Bengal will not let the chief sit on the stool carved in its likeness either. BENGALS
Houston at Jacksonville-Texans and Jaguars? Yaguara against a hunter….normally one should go with the weapon-aided dude on horseback. But this dude has been erratic. Yaguara, on the otherhand, was solid against last week’s hunting type mammal. Well, they may not have wanted to actually hunt yaguara more they wanted to acquire something yaguara had – namely yaguara’s ferocity and power. Sorta like hunters want to acquire flesh and fur of the animals they chase. As with last week, I think yaguara says eh…no, I don’t think I’m ready to part ways with my aforementioned ferocity and power. JAGUARS.
Miami at Cleveland-Dolphins and Browns? Can Brown do something for me this week? Let’s look inside the numbers…Brown struck out against people,be they pirates, dudes with either muskets or vats of molten stuff, however Brown is perfect against the animal kingdom tho. Dolphins have struggled against everybody and thing they’ve faced. I’m going to give Brown the edge here since sonar may not transmit from inside the truck and if properly encased in packing popcorn, Dolphin won’t so much as make a detectable peep. BROWNS
Minnesota at Chicago-Vikings and Bears? Fresh off the ultimate Houdini act of escaping a packing plant a peeps with cans, pallets and shrinkwrap. I’m still not sure how that happened, I just know I saw the bear walking out smiling with a hunk of cheese it grabbed on the way out. When bears are able to do that I’m feeling the big bear can have its way with a ship load of Norsemen. Seriously, the packers had him in shrinkwrap and the bear STIILL escaped…BEARS
Philadelphia at N.Y. Jets-Eagles and Jets? According to my notes, the plane (with or without missles) has faced a bird of less national stature, majesty and size and lost. In a tale of the tape, the eagle has better reach and if you take a look at the presidential seal? Eagle carries weapons of its own, so the airfight should be even. Since offing eagles is still illegal, the J E T S jets jets jets are at a decided disadvantage. The bird will toss some of them bolts they conveniently carry in their talon for such an occasion and it won’t be pretty for the planes. EAGLES.
St. Louis at Baltimore-Rams and Ravens? Geez. Ok. Still bald sheep take on a talking bird. The same talking bird whose prowess against other mascots seems to elude my computer based permutations. For the second week the bestubbled sheep see a bird and it’s yapping will mimic the herder’s “get your butts in that corral RIGHT now!” (I don’t herd sheep, but I imagine that’s what sheep herders who don’t have sheep dogs say to make them run into the fenced off areas). This in raven speak is probably equivalent to “nevermore” RAVENS
Tennessee at Tampa Bay-Titans and Buccaneers? Harry Hamlins and all their power come down from the heavens to face a bunch of pirates in the Bay of Tampa. Now I do recall in addition to the other things I vaguely remember Harry Hamlin being involved with besides the owl and Pegasus, is a ship. Let’s say a hydra somehow spouts up from the Bay of Tampa…(stranger things have happened no?) who handles that better? Ok, if that’s too much of a stretch, let me break it down more succinctly. Harry Hamlin’s power > Pirates’ power. TITANS
Washington at Green Bay-Redskins and Packers? Hmmmm…the packing plant angle failed me last week. I’m still confused as to how that bear got out of there. This is striking me as a battle of food preservers. Indigenous peoples have had a long, rich history of technologies that they shared with folks arriving to the continent. But the Packers..eh, more modern technologies. I'm torn since I am respectful of the past as well. I'm going with home packing technology, but I'm torn (if I haven't said that already). PACKERS
Carolina at Arizona-Panthers and Cardinals? Back with my new favorite bandit bird and the panther. Panther completed flailed when it last faced a bird. But gosh, I probably should cut it some slack since it was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird falcon and all. I’m not feeling good about panther’s chances against a bird that’s sneaky. This bird punked a dude wielding a furness, so it is working a little badness of its own. CARDINALS
New England at Dallas-Patriots and Cowboys? Here we GO! Declaration of Independence meets Manifest Destiny! Man, this is what one studies history for innit? I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want to go with the dudes on horseback with their six shooters, because I really do. The advancement of firearm technology between these two mascots wants me to go there. But here’s why I won’t. Part of being a patriot (of the dude with a musket variety) is being ready at a moments notice. Or to use the correct parlance, to be who can be ready in a minute to go to battle (or to dump tea into a bay). And there is a craftiness associated with that, and I think that craftiness allowed them to get over on an opponent way way way way back in the day. PATRIOTS
Oakland at San Diego-Raiders and Chargers? The bolt of energy surely was dangerous last week. The pirate strikes me as folk impervious to danger to some extent . However sailing into the eye of a storm, while admirally bold, is also foolhardy. Lightning has home..eh, seas advantage. CHARGERS
New Orleans at Seattle-Saints and Seahawks? The computer has had a difficult time with the Saints, I mean seriously, they had a miracle square in the sights last week and somehow a panther made it happen instead. Simple odds suggest that even a partial miracle has to be in the back pocket at some point no? Well, I’m not thinking so this week, since the piratey bird might follow the path blazed by the panther. SEAHAWKS
Monday, Oct. 15
N.Y. Giants at Atlanta-Giants and Falcons? Big tall guys and a bird. Big tall dudes just got done defeating planes and earlier this season beat another bird. They clearly have developed a prowess with things that fly. (Even though they face a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad bird). GIANTS.
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Titans @ Buccaneers - A bunch of big guys wandering into the land of the pirates? Gotta hope the home town favorites have enough powder for their muskets. BUCCANEERS
Vikings @ Bears - So, you have the noble warriors from the land of the midnight sun wandering around in the depths of the forests, trying to defeat the creatures with long, long claws and sharp teeth? Edge to the BEARS.
Texans @ Jaguars - The wily feline is treacherous at best. At home I have to give him the edge. JAGUARS
Dolphins @ Browns - Truly a "fish" out of water, even if dolphins are mammals. BROWNS
Rams @ Ravens - Again, I cannot root for the lowly dinner fare. RAVENS
Redskins @ Packers - Native Americans visiting the cheeseheads? PACKERS
Bengals @ Chiefs - While I would normally give the nod to the critters with stripes, they're visiting the land of the Chiefs. I have to give them the home-town nod. CHIEFS
Eagles @ Jets - I'm still going with the guys with the missiles and guns AND ability to travel at Mach 3. JETS
Panthers @ Cardinals - If Cardinals are birds, they're fair fare for another of nature's feline predators. If, on the other hand, Cardinals are part of the Holy See, then you have to wonder just a bit if they'll get divine intervention. CARDINALS
Raiders @ Chargers - Stomp the invaders!!! CHARGERS
Patriots @ Cowboys - The Patriots fought bravely and well, but could they manage muster in the land of tumbleweeds and dust? COWBOYS
Saints @ Seahawks - Saints preserve us. I think the divine intervention is going to be busy in Arizona so the nod has to go to the sneaky SEAHAWKS.
Giants @ Falcons - I'm just not impressed with falcons. GIANTS
Vikings @ Bears - So, you have the noble warriors from the land of the midnight sun wandering around in the depths of the forests, trying to defeat the creatures with long, long claws and sharp teeth? Edge to the BEARS.
Texans @ Jaguars - The wily feline is treacherous at best. At home I have to give him the edge. JAGUARS
Dolphins @ Browns - Truly a "fish" out of water, even if dolphins are mammals. BROWNS
Rams @ Ravens - Again, I cannot root for the lowly dinner fare. RAVENS
Redskins @ Packers - Native Americans visiting the cheeseheads? PACKERS
Bengals @ Chiefs - While I would normally give the nod to the critters with stripes, they're visiting the land of the Chiefs. I have to give them the home-town nod. CHIEFS
Eagles @ Jets - I'm still going with the guys with the missiles and guns AND ability to travel at Mach 3. JETS
Panthers @ Cardinals - If Cardinals are birds, they're fair fare for another of nature's feline predators. If, on the other hand, Cardinals are part of the Holy See, then you have to wonder just a bit if they'll get divine intervention. CARDINALS
Raiders @ Chargers - Stomp the invaders!!! CHARGERS
Patriots @ Cowboys - The Patriots fought bravely and well, but could they manage muster in the land of tumbleweeds and dust? COWBOYS
Saints @ Seahawks - Saints preserve us. I think the divine intervention is going to be busy in Arizona so the nod has to go to the sneaky SEAHAWKS.
Giants @ Falcons - I'm just not impressed with falcons. GIANTS
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Week 7
I'm going to experiment a little this week and use the results of the last six week as the basis for my picks this week instead of straight consideration of the two mascots head to head for the most part. We'll see if I've read the numbers correctly...
Sunday, Oct. 21
Arizona at Washington –Cardinals and Redskins? I’m going to consult the computer data on this matchup. Indigenous peoples have beaten the one bird they faced this season and is overall perfect against the animal kingdom this season. The bandit masked birds however have had mixed results against every type of mascot my computer tracks. Given that and the fact that the birds will be migrating? I’m going with the indigenous in their indigenous digs. REDSKINS.
Atlanta at New Orleans-Falcons and Saints? Goodness gracious. What a matchup this shapes up to be. Computer says that the miracle folk have had more success against birds(1-0) this season than those baaaaaaaaad bird falcons have had against people (1-3). I’m going with the trend here. SAINTS
Baltimore at Buffalo-Ravens and Bills? Computer was essentially nearly no help on this matchup since the sample size is so small. This is wild west dude/animal’s first matchup against a bird and big, black talking bird has split its matchup against animals that don’t fly and is undefeated against people (who eh, I guess are also animals that don’t fly). I’m following the percentages here. RAVENS.
New England at Miami-Patriots and Dolphins? The dolphins have faced 4 people and lost to all of them, by far the mascot type they have faced the most. The dudes with the muskets have only faced one animal, and handled it pretty well. This feels slam dunkish. PATRIOTS.
San Francisco at N.Y. Giants-49ers and Giants? Hmmmm. The Giants have faced more people than goldie, neither have had much success against people. But, Giants won their last people matchup AND are bigger ANNND are playing on their home beanstalk. GIANTS.
Tampa Bay at Detroit –Buccaneers and Lions? The east coast pirates are 2-1 against animals this season but have lost their last animal matchup. The lions? well they are only a perfect 3-0 against people coming into this matchup. Granted the Bucs lost to an animal with a mighty lucky collection of horseshoes so one might call that a mitigating factor, but facts is facts and trends is trends…LIONS.
Tennessee at Houston-Titans and Texans. Wow…again, a matchup where the computer data is of zero help. Both the Harry Hamlins and the dudes on horseback are .500 against other people. Both have lost their last people matchups. Both are due, if you figure alternating win/loss who should expect a win this time around…goodness they BOTH are. I’m going to go with the Harry Hamlins just because. TITANS
Kansas City at Oakland-Chiefs and Raiders? Well…this is the east bay pirate’s first meeting with person this season, chief from KC is 1-1 against other people. I’m going to give the east bayers the edge here since they are home and well, they’re pirates and pilfer stuff. RAIDERS.
N.Y. Jets at Cincinnati-Jets and Bengals? Everything points to in the favor of the plane. Bengal hasn’t beaten anything in the classification I have in the ol’ computer as “things.” The planes however did win their dogfight against the only animal they’ve seen this season. Bengal did however beat a bird…somehow. So I’m going to give them an edge here, since we all know birds and planes share so many similarities it's ridiculous - they are praticially synonymous. BENGALS.
Chicago at Philadelphia-Bears and Eagles? The edge my computer shows me in this matchup is small, but it's an edge nonetheless. Bear has not faced a bird yet this season and it lost to the only animal it faced. Eagle is undefeated (eh, 1-0, but its undefeated) against an animal. I’m sticking with the numbers. EAGLES
Minnesota at Dallas-Vikings and Cowboys? Lopsided according to the computer. Dudes on horseback with lassos and six shooters are 2-1 against other people. Norsemen? well, they have yet to beat a person (0-3). This sorta SCREAMS upset dunnit? You betcha it does, but I’m staying with the numbers here in this matchup too. COWBOYS
St. Louis at Seattle-Rams and Seahawks? Bestubbled sheep and piratey birds. The piratey birds have faced one animal and won. Sheep, well..haven’t beaten anything yet as we know but has definitely struggled against other birds (0-2). That probably has to change eventually, not sure it changes this week tho, piratey birds might be in a mood. SEAHAWKS
Pittsburgh at Denver-Steelers and Broncos? Dudes with molten ingredients and horseys. Now, the ‘puter says, dudes with molten stuff? They haven’t seen an animal yet this season. The horseys are a perfect 2-0 against people. I soooooo want to go with the numbers here like the BCS. But the BCS also said South Florida was the second best team in the country. STEELERS
Monday, Oct. 22
Indianapolis at Jacksonville-Colts and Jaguars? Well, computer again is of no help. Both animals are undefeated against other animals coming into this week. Yaguara is home, but the tiny horseshoes, they’ve been money all season. This one is close but I gotta stick with the power of the 'shoe. COLTS
I'm going to experiment a little this week and use the results of the last six week as the basis for my picks this week instead of straight consideration of the two mascots head to head for the most part. We'll see if I've read the numbers correctly...
Sunday, Oct. 21
Arizona at Washington –Cardinals and Redskins? I’m going to consult the computer data on this matchup. Indigenous peoples have beaten the one bird they faced this season and is overall perfect against the animal kingdom this season. The bandit masked birds however have had mixed results against every type of mascot my computer tracks. Given that and the fact that the birds will be migrating? I’m going with the indigenous in their indigenous digs. REDSKINS.
Atlanta at New Orleans-Falcons and Saints? Goodness gracious. What a matchup this shapes up to be. Computer says that the miracle folk have had more success against birds(1-0) this season than those baaaaaaaaad bird falcons have had against people (1-3). I’m going with the trend here. SAINTS
Baltimore at Buffalo-Ravens and Bills? Computer was essentially nearly no help on this matchup since the sample size is so small. This is wild west dude/animal’s first matchup against a bird and big, black talking bird has split its matchup against animals that don’t fly and is undefeated against people (who eh, I guess are also animals that don’t fly). I’m following the percentages here. RAVENS.
New England at Miami-Patriots and Dolphins? The dolphins have faced 4 people and lost to all of them, by far the mascot type they have faced the most. The dudes with the muskets have only faced one animal, and handled it pretty well. This feels slam dunkish. PATRIOTS.
San Francisco at N.Y. Giants-49ers and Giants? Hmmmm. The Giants have faced more people than goldie, neither have had much success against people. But, Giants won their last people matchup AND are bigger ANNND are playing on their home beanstalk. GIANTS.
Tampa Bay at Detroit –Buccaneers and Lions? The east coast pirates are 2-1 against animals this season but have lost their last animal matchup. The lions? well they are only a perfect 3-0 against people coming into this matchup. Granted the Bucs lost to an animal with a mighty lucky collection of horseshoes so one might call that a mitigating factor, but facts is facts and trends is trends…LIONS.
Tennessee at Houston-Titans and Texans. Wow…again, a matchup where the computer data is of zero help. Both the Harry Hamlins and the dudes on horseback are .500 against other people. Both have lost their last people matchups. Both are due, if you figure alternating win/loss who should expect a win this time around…goodness they BOTH are. I’m going to go with the Harry Hamlins just because. TITANS
Kansas City at Oakland-Chiefs and Raiders? Well…this is the east bay pirate’s first meeting with person this season, chief from KC is 1-1 against other people. I’m going to give the east bayers the edge here since they are home and well, they’re pirates and pilfer stuff. RAIDERS.
N.Y. Jets at Cincinnati-Jets and Bengals? Everything points to in the favor of the plane. Bengal hasn’t beaten anything in the classification I have in the ol’ computer as “things.” The planes however did win their dogfight against the only animal they’ve seen this season. Bengal did however beat a bird…somehow. So I’m going to give them an edge here, since we all know birds and planes share so many similarities it's ridiculous - they are praticially synonymous. BENGALS.
Chicago at Philadelphia-Bears and Eagles? The edge my computer shows me in this matchup is small, but it's an edge nonetheless. Bear has not faced a bird yet this season and it lost to the only animal it faced. Eagle is undefeated (eh, 1-0, but its undefeated) against an animal. I’m sticking with the numbers. EAGLES
Minnesota at Dallas-Vikings and Cowboys? Lopsided according to the computer. Dudes on horseback with lassos and six shooters are 2-1 against other people. Norsemen? well, they have yet to beat a person (0-3). This sorta SCREAMS upset dunnit? You betcha it does, but I’m staying with the numbers here in this matchup too. COWBOYS
St. Louis at Seattle-Rams and Seahawks? Bestubbled sheep and piratey birds. The piratey birds have faced one animal and won. Sheep, well..haven’t beaten anything yet as we know but has definitely struggled against other birds (0-2). That probably has to change eventually, not sure it changes this week tho, piratey birds might be in a mood. SEAHAWKS
Pittsburgh at Denver-Steelers and Broncos? Dudes with molten ingredients and horseys. Now, the ‘puter says, dudes with molten stuff? They haven’t seen an animal yet this season. The horseys are a perfect 2-0 against people. I soooooo want to go with the numbers here like the BCS. But the BCS also said South Florida was the second best team in the country. STEELERS
Monday, Oct. 22
Indianapolis at Jacksonville-Colts and Jaguars? Well, computer again is of no help. Both animals are undefeated against other animals coming into this week. Yaguara is home, but the tiny horseshoes, they’ve been money all season. This one is close but I gotta stick with the power of the 'shoe. COLTS
Standings so far:
Week 1
MBF - 9-7
Prophetess - 8-8
VF21 - 9-7
Week 2
MBF - 11-5
Prophetess - 9-7
VF21 - 8-8
Week 3
MBF - 8-8
Prophetess - 0-0
VF21 - 9-7
Week 4
MBF - 8-6
Prophetess - 8-6
VF21 - 6-8
Week 5
MBF - 11-3
Prophetess - 6-8
VF21 - 9-5
Week 6
MBF - 8-5
VF21 - 8-5
Prophetess - did not compete
Season to date:
MBF - 55-34 (61.8%)
VF21 - 49-40 (55.1%)
Prophetess - 31-29 (51.6%)
Week 1
MBF - 9-7
Prophetess - 8-8
VF21 - 9-7
Week 2
MBF - 11-5
Prophetess - 9-7
VF21 - 8-8
Week 3
MBF - 8-8
Prophetess - 0-0
VF21 - 9-7
Week 4
MBF - 8-6
Prophetess - 8-6
VF21 - 6-8
Week 5
MBF - 11-3
Prophetess - 6-8
VF21 - 9-5
Week 6
MBF - 8-5
VF21 - 8-5
Prophetess - did not compete
Season to date:
MBF - 55-34 (61.8%)
VF21 - 49-40 (55.1%)
Prophetess - 31-29 (51.6%)
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Week 7 picks:
Cardinals at Redskins - Dinnertime for the Native Americans. REDSKINS
Falcons at Saints - Falcons can fly high, but not this high. Gotta go with the residents. SAINTS
Ravens at Bills - Poe's nasty little bird brings torment and fear wherever he goes. I just don't know if the Wild West guys ever read Poe. If they're not impressed, the bird is fricassed. BILLS
Patriots at Dolphins - With the likes of John Paul Jones leading the guys in red, white and blue, I suspect the wily sea mammal is going to have a tough afternoon. PATRIOTS
49ers at Giants - Cannot go against the 49ers. 49ERS
Buccaneers at Lions - One would want to give the nod to the guys with the cutlasses and black-powder guns, but a pride of Lions cannot be totally disregarded. LIONS
Titans at Texans - I hate Texas. TITANS
Chiefs at Raiders - The evil empire is never stronger than at home. RAIDERS
Jets at Bengals - If they cannot get off the ground, they certainly can't do much damage. BENGALS
Bears at Eagles - Eagles can fly and soar and if they can keep out of reach of the visiting orsine crowd, they should prevail. EAGLES
Vikings at Cowboys - The guys with the guns have the edge. COWBOYS
Rams at Seahawks - Sheep can't fly. SEAHAWKS
Steelers at Broncos - Elevation can take its toll on guys who are used to working in the steel mills. If they can't breathe, how tough can they be? BRONCOS
Colts at Jaguars - Poor little baby horsies. A tasty treat for the carnivorous cats. JAGUARS
Cardinals at Redskins - Dinnertime for the Native Americans. REDSKINS
Falcons at Saints - Falcons can fly high, but not this high. Gotta go with the residents. SAINTS
Ravens at Bills - Poe's nasty little bird brings torment and fear wherever he goes. I just don't know if the Wild West guys ever read Poe. If they're not impressed, the bird is fricassed. BILLS
Patriots at Dolphins - With the likes of John Paul Jones leading the guys in red, white and blue, I suspect the wily sea mammal is going to have a tough afternoon. PATRIOTS
49ers at Giants - Cannot go against the 49ers. 49ERS
Buccaneers at Lions - One would want to give the nod to the guys with the cutlasses and black-powder guns, but a pride of Lions cannot be totally disregarded. LIONS
Titans at Texans - I hate Texas. TITANS
Chiefs at Raiders - The evil empire is never stronger than at home. RAIDERS
Jets at Bengals - If they cannot get off the ground, they certainly can't do much damage. BENGALS
Bears at Eagles - Eagles can fly and soar and if they can keep out of reach of the visiting orsine crowd, they should prevail. EAGLES
Vikings at Cowboys - The guys with the guns have the edge. COWBOYS
Rams at Seahawks - Sheep can't fly. SEAHAWKS
Steelers at Broncos - Elevation can take its toll on guys who are used to working in the steel mills. If they can't breathe, how tough can they be? BRONCOS
Colts at Jaguars - Poor little baby horsies. A tasty treat for the carnivorous cats. JAGUARS
Prophetess
Gallifrayain
you can quit tallying mine, life has gotten too hectic..
Sorry to hear that, Prophetess. Hope to see you next year!
Week 8:
Raiders at Titans - If Titans are surrounded by things scaled to their use, then the invaders aren't going to be able to reach anything. TITANS
Saints at 49ers - Gotta stay with my 49ERS.
Giants v. Dolphins IN LONDON - Tough, tough call. Both teams will literally be like fish out of water, but the London soup could actually work in favor of the marine mammals. DOLPHINS
Lions at Bears - Which kind of lions are these? Jungle lions or mountain lions? Either way, it doesn't matter I suppose. BEARS
Browns at Rams - Wrap up that lamb dinner. BROWNS
Eagles at Vikings - The birds can swoop in, but this time of year can be treacherous unless the winds are just right. VIKINGS
Steelers at Bengals - The guys who work with the molten metal aren't going to be easily defeated but I think the striped felines will prevail. BENGALS
Colts at Panthers - Poor baby horsies. Feline carnivores at home? PANTHERS
Bills at Jets - Still maintaining the theory of guys with missiles should be able to outshoot guys with Henry rifles. JETS
Texans at Chargers - The noble steed should send the Texans back home, smoke or no smoke. CHARGERS
Jaguars at Buccaneers - Edge in this one has to go to the ones who can buckle their swashes. BUCCANEERS
Redskins at Patriots - Picture the founding fathers in their forts. PATRIOTS
Packers at Broncos - Even on the plains, horsies have come out second best against the guys who want to shove them into cans and turn them into ... well, you know. PACKERS
Week 8:
Raiders at Titans - If Titans are surrounded by things scaled to their use, then the invaders aren't going to be able to reach anything. TITANS
Saints at 49ers - Gotta stay with my 49ERS.
Giants v. Dolphins IN LONDON - Tough, tough call. Both teams will literally be like fish out of water, but the London soup could actually work in favor of the marine mammals. DOLPHINS
Lions at Bears - Which kind of lions are these? Jungle lions or mountain lions? Either way, it doesn't matter I suppose. BEARS
Browns at Rams - Wrap up that lamb dinner. BROWNS
Eagles at Vikings - The birds can swoop in, but this time of year can be treacherous unless the winds are just right. VIKINGS
Steelers at Bengals - The guys who work with the molten metal aren't going to be easily defeated but I think the striped felines will prevail. BENGALS
Colts at Panthers - Poor baby horsies. Feline carnivores at home? PANTHERS
Bills at Jets - Still maintaining the theory of guys with missiles should be able to outshoot guys with Henry rifles. JETS
Texans at Chargers - The noble steed should send the Texans back home, smoke or no smoke. CHARGERS
Jaguars at Buccaneers - Edge in this one has to go to the ones who can buckle their swashes. BUCCANEERS
Redskins at Patriots - Picture the founding fathers in their forts. PATRIOTS
Packers at Broncos - Even on the plains, horsies have come out second best against the guys who want to shove them into cans and turn them into ... well, you know. PACKERS
Monty'sBiggestFan
Starter
Sunday, Oct. 28
Cleveland at St. Louis-Browns and Rams? Well, the still bestubbled sheep face Brown, who still wants to do for me. Brown has done quite well for me thankyouverymuch if you consider 2-0 against animals they've faced thus far this season. We know from the lack of fleece still this season how the rams have done for me. BROWNS
Detroit at Chicago-Lions and Bears? Oh my...(I could NOT resist that, the set up was much too tempting). Neither the bears nor the lions have been successful yet this season against other animals (0-1), so I moved over a column to see if I added wings to their animal opponent if they fared any better? Well, bear is 1-0 against birds and lion is still 0fer. Add that they will meet in Bear's den? BEARS
Indianapolis at Carolina-Colts and Panthers? The power of the lil horseshoe is still in full effect. However the pather has been preeeeeeeetty successful against birds and animals (3-0). Colts are undefeated against everything. That seems better than what panther has done. COLTS
N.Y. Giants at Miami (London)-Giants and Dolphins? The big dudes haven't faced an animal yet this season (2-0 against birds is allz I got), the Dolphins? Well, like the stubbled sheep are on the snide against pretty much everything. Dolphins have the edge seemingly because they at least could swim the pond to get to London for this matchup. That sorta was impressive to me until I realized that big tall dude probably STILL got there before dolphin because he's got a bigger stride. I'm guessing that's 2-3 steps max, unless it's rush hour. Stride advantage alone...GIANTS
Oakland at Tennessee-Raiders and Titans? Well, my computer line tracking the prowess of the Harry Hamlins somehow got screwed up and some data points are missing. Which probably explains how I screwed this matchup up last week. (shaking fist at technology!). What data I DO have, tells me Harry Hamlins should have the edge here, the east bay pirates lost to the last person they faced, who was a mascot with power. Harry Hamlins have powers. Edge Harry Hamlins. East bay pirates lost to powER, Harry Hamlins represent what? Powers...sensing the trend I'm seeing? TITANS
Philadelphia at Minnesota-Eagles and Vikings? Man...this one is soooo lopsided it's not even funny. Computer says eagle has STEEEE ruggled against people this season (0-3) while the norsemen, who have struggled somewhat late, have beaten the only bird they've faced this year. I gotta go norse here. VIKINGS
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati-Steelers and Bengals? Dudes with molten stuff and bengal have been nearly equally inept against the respective mascot types they have faced similar to the one they face this week. (how about that for convoluted sentence structure?) I know bengal is home but dude with molten stuff is not in a mood to be messed with. STEELERS
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets-Bills and Jets? Wild west dudes/buffaloes arrive on the runway. Computer results are inconclusive so I'm going purely on mascot/mascot on this one. This is the second time these two mascots have faced each other this season and my analytics were wrong last time as I recall I felt the buffaloes/wild west dude has no advantage whatsoever against a plane, I guess the buffaloes/wild west dude showed ME..as the Who says "I won't get fooled again" (I hope)...BILLS
Houston at San Diego-Texans and Chargers? Man, again the computer data is no help really. Texans haven't faced a "thing" yet. Chargers are 1-3 against people, tho they won their last matchup with a person. That and the fact that they are home, makes me want to give them the edge, so I will. CHARGERS
Jacksonville at Tampa Bay-Jaguars and Buccaneers? Yaguara spent the last week mesmerized by the lil horseshoe while the Buccaneer was under the spell of Harry Hamlin. Checking the computer I noticed that the east coast pirates are meeting an animal for the first time while yaguara is facing personified mascot #4. Yaguara is 2-1 against the people and has won its last two people match ups. I'm feeling the trend continues. JAGUARS.
New Orleans at San Francisco-Saints and 49ers. Goldie against the miracle men. The computer essentially makes this even across the board. Neither has had luck against other people-ish mascots. Goldie is home and should have terrain advantage for gold findin, but miracle men have intervention on their side, and that seems to even THAT advantage up too. Well, the miracle factor should give Saint the edge anyway, but whenever I felt that way, they never seemed to manage to take advantage. No matter which way I lean in this one the other mascot can counter that advantage. Is a tie a valid as an option here? For no particular reason whatsoever (besides the toss of a coin) SAINTS
Washington at New England-Redskins and Patriots? Dudes with muskets have handled everybody. Indigenous people have owned all the people they've faced. Musket dudes are home on the Commons. I think the weaponry makes the difference here. PATRIOTS
Monday, Oct. 29
Green Bay at Denver -Packers and Broncos? The computer has this as a lopsided slam dunk. Packing house dudes, with their shrinkwrap and pallets lost to the animal they had in the processing plant. The horsies are a perfect 3-0 against people this season. And they're home...and they're at altitude, which could affect the portable packing machinery the packing dudes may have brought along for the trip. BRONCOS
Cleveland at St. Louis-Browns and Rams? Well, the still bestubbled sheep face Brown, who still wants to do for me. Brown has done quite well for me thankyouverymuch if you consider 2-0 against animals they've faced thus far this season. We know from the lack of fleece still this season how the rams have done for me. BROWNS
Detroit at Chicago-Lions and Bears? Oh my...(I could NOT resist that, the set up was much too tempting). Neither the bears nor the lions have been successful yet this season against other animals (0-1), so I moved over a column to see if I added wings to their animal opponent if they fared any better? Well, bear is 1-0 against birds and lion is still 0fer. Add that they will meet in Bear's den? BEARS
Indianapolis at Carolina-Colts and Panthers? The power of the lil horseshoe is still in full effect. However the pather has been preeeeeeeetty successful against birds and animals (3-0). Colts are undefeated against everything. That seems better than what panther has done. COLTS
N.Y. Giants at Miami (London)-Giants and Dolphins? The big dudes haven't faced an animal yet this season (2-0 against birds is allz I got), the Dolphins? Well, like the stubbled sheep are on the snide against pretty much everything. Dolphins have the edge seemingly because they at least could swim the pond to get to London for this matchup. That sorta was impressive to me until I realized that big tall dude probably STILL got there before dolphin because he's got a bigger stride. I'm guessing that's 2-3 steps max, unless it's rush hour. Stride advantage alone...GIANTS
Oakland at Tennessee-Raiders and Titans? Well, my computer line tracking the prowess of the Harry Hamlins somehow got screwed up and some data points are missing. Which probably explains how I screwed this matchup up last week. (shaking fist at technology!). What data I DO have, tells me Harry Hamlins should have the edge here, the east bay pirates lost to the last person they faced, who was a mascot with power. Harry Hamlins have powers. Edge Harry Hamlins. East bay pirates lost to powER, Harry Hamlins represent what? Powers...sensing the trend I'm seeing? TITANS
Philadelphia at Minnesota-Eagles and Vikings? Man...this one is soooo lopsided it's not even funny. Computer says eagle has STEEEE ruggled against people this season (0-3) while the norsemen, who have struggled somewhat late, have beaten the only bird they've faced this year. I gotta go norse here. VIKINGS
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati-Steelers and Bengals? Dudes with molten stuff and bengal have been nearly equally inept against the respective mascot types they have faced similar to the one they face this week. (how about that for convoluted sentence structure?) I know bengal is home but dude with molten stuff is not in a mood to be messed with. STEELERS
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets-Bills and Jets? Wild west dudes/buffaloes arrive on the runway. Computer results are inconclusive so I'm going purely on mascot/mascot on this one. This is the second time these two mascots have faced each other this season and my analytics were wrong last time as I recall I felt the buffaloes/wild west dude has no advantage whatsoever against a plane, I guess the buffaloes/wild west dude showed ME..as the Who says "I won't get fooled again" (I hope
)...BILLSHouston at San Diego-Texans and Chargers? Man, again the computer data is no help really. Texans haven't faced a "thing" yet. Chargers are 1-3 against people, tho they won their last matchup with a person. That and the fact that they are home, makes me want to give them the edge, so I will. CHARGERS
Jacksonville at Tampa Bay-Jaguars and Buccaneers? Yaguara spent the last week mesmerized by the lil horseshoe while the Buccaneer was under the spell of Harry Hamlin. Checking the computer I noticed that the east coast pirates are meeting an animal for the first time while yaguara is facing personified mascot #4. Yaguara is 2-1 against the people and has won its last two people match ups. I'm feeling the trend continues. JAGUARS.
New Orleans at San Francisco-Saints and 49ers. Goldie against the miracle men. The computer essentially makes this even across the board. Neither has had luck against other people-ish mascots. Goldie is home and should have terrain advantage for gold findin, but miracle men have intervention on their side, and that seems to even THAT advantage up too. Well, the miracle factor should give Saint the edge anyway, but whenever I felt that way, they never seemed to manage to take advantage. No matter which way I lean in this one the other mascot can counter that advantage. Is a tie a valid as an option here? For no particular reason whatsoever (besides the toss of a coin
) SAINTSWashington at New England-Redskins and Patriots? Dudes with muskets have handled everybody. Indigenous people have owned all the people they've faced. Musket dudes are home on the Commons. I think the weaponry makes the difference here. PATRIOTS
Monday, Oct. 29
Green Bay at Denver -Packers and Broncos? The computer has this as a lopsided slam dunk. Packing house dudes, with their shrinkwrap and pallets lost to the animal they had in the processing plant. The horsies are a perfect 3-0 against people this season. And they're home...and they're at altitude, which could affect the portable packing machinery the packing dudes may have brought along for the trip. BRONCOS
Week 9 ...
Cardinals at Buccaneers - Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! BUCCANEERS
Broncos at Lions - Gotta give the home-field advantage to the king of beasts. LIONS
Panthers at Titans - I hear catnip grows in Tennessee. The feisty felines are gonna have problems. TITANS
Packers at Chiefs - Too many Chiefs and not enough Indians. PACKERS
Chargers at Vikings - The noble steeds will match up quite well against the warriors from an early time. CHARGERS
Jaguars at Saints - The jungle cats just won't stand a chance when the Saints come marchin' in. SAINTS
49ers at Falcons - No logic, no rationale. 49ERS
Redskins at Jets - At some point in time, the guys piloting the war planes are going to figure out how to pull the triggers on all those fancy missles. JETS
Bengals at Bills - It gets mighty cold in Buffalo. I don't think bengal tigers like the cold. BILLS
Seahawks at Browns - Swooping and soaring is fine, unless you're in a big warehouse with tons of pre-holiday packages. BROWNS
Patriots at Colts - The young stallions may have the advantage of open field, but the Patriots have the muskets and guys who can shoot with deadly accuracy. PATRIOTS
Texans at Raiders - The edge again has to go to the home folk. RAIDERS
Cowboys at Eagles - Talons and sharp beaks just aren't enough to overcome six guns and lassos. COWBOYS
Ravens at Steelers - Poe's bird could end up a friccasse with all the heat from the steel mills. STEELERS
Cardinals at Buccaneers - Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! BUCCANEERS
Broncos at Lions - Gotta give the home-field advantage to the king of beasts. LIONS
Panthers at Titans - I hear catnip grows in Tennessee. The feisty felines are gonna have problems. TITANS
Packers at Chiefs - Too many Chiefs and not enough Indians. PACKERS
Chargers at Vikings - The noble steeds will match up quite well against the warriors from an early time. CHARGERS
Jaguars at Saints - The jungle cats just won't stand a chance when the Saints come marchin' in. SAINTS
49ers at Falcons - No logic, no rationale. 49ERS
Redskins at Jets - At some point in time, the guys piloting the war planes are going to figure out how to pull the triggers on all those fancy missles. JETS
Bengals at Bills - It gets mighty cold in Buffalo. I don't think bengal tigers like the cold. BILLS
Seahawks at Browns - Swooping and soaring is fine, unless you're in a big warehouse with tons of pre-holiday packages. BROWNS
Patriots at Colts - The young stallions may have the advantage of open field, but the Patriots have the muskets and guys who can shoot with deadly accuracy. PATRIOTS
Texans at Raiders - The edge again has to go to the home folk. RAIDERS
Cowboys at Eagles - Talons and sharp beaks just aren't enough to overcome six guns and lassos. COWBOYS
Ravens at Steelers - Poe's bird could end up a friccasse with all the heat from the steel mills. STEELERS
