Grades v. Clippers 04/08/10

Who is your favorite cartoon mouse?

  • Mighty Mouse

    Votes: 5 8.2%
  • Mickey Mouse

    Votes: 9 14.8%
  • Minny Mouse

    Votes: 1 1.6%
  • Speedy Gonzalez

    Votes: 16 26.2%
  • Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)

    Votes: 9 14.8%
  • Danger Mouse

    Votes: 2 3.3%
  • Itchy (from Itchy & Scratchy)

    Votes: 3 4.9%
  • Basil of Baker's Street

    Votes: 1 1.6%
  • Pinky and the Brain

    Votes: 15 24.6%

  • Total voters
    61
Status
Not open for further replies.

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
#1
Like taking candy from a baby (which if its chocolate I am not above).

So in celebration of maybe (and possibly hopefully) the last win of the season for us, I thought I'd do a theme for the ladies.

Yes, that's right, theme will be: Chess for Beginners (or more properly: How to Beat Your Boyfriend at Chess and Forever Emasculate Him)

Boxscore

Nocioni ( B- ) -- not sure what was up with how we played our SFs this time out, but Noc was again starting, and began the game actively attacking the Clippers down inside. Hit one three, missed the rest of his jumpers, but repeatedly slashed into the paint or backed whoever was guarding him down, for little hooks and postups. Taking a lot of shots in the early going again, but they were pretty much all good looking shots exploiting the Clippers lack of defense, and had all 9 of his points in his first stint. Wasn't doing much else, but really didn't have to. Gave way to Omri in the second for the most part, and while he still started the third, added nothing but a missed J after the break before Omri, Donte (finally) and Cisco took all the late minutes.

Setting Up -- I have never been exactly sure why there is such a distinct gender divide on chess, at least in the modern era (the game is 500 years old), but it really is less intimidating than it is sometimes made out. Requiring a lifetime to master, sure. But its not that hard to learn how to push the pieces around. Look, there are only 6 types of pieces -- each player gets a row of 8 pawns across the front, then you get two "rooks" (often colloquially referred to as castles because that's what they look like), two "knights" (often colloquially referred to as horses because that's what they look like), two bishops, one queen (the most powerful peice on the board -- see the game is even feminist!) and one king (killing him is the whole point of the game). They are set up as above an an 8x8 checkerboard (and as an aside, the whole chess notation thing isn't rocket science either -- the columns are referred to as a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h and the rows 1-8, so you can just list moves being made as "f2f4" or "Bg6 e8" (the big B meaning bishop), the first number being where a piece started out, the second being where it ends up. It just looks like math, but its no more complex than bingo.)

Landry ( C+ ) -- started off this one saying "yes I can rebound!" and grabbed 7 rebounds in the first quarter before remembering that no, I really can't, and settling back into his normal pace. Offensively started ok, but faded and missed almost everything late in the game. Started the game with a little jumper, blocked on the drive, but got it back and finished. Dunk off the pick and roll with Reke. Started the 2nd with a nice post move with a little hook over Kaman, but there would be only one more hit therafter. GTo the line and made 1 of 2. Made a nice high low feed to Beno for a rare assist (the difference being he was up top and not in scoring position, thus having his head up looking to pass rather than the tunnel vision he sometimes gets in scoring position). But was missing his jumpers, including airballing one, and I'm not sure he scored again until adding a +1 finish as the cherry on top to our little burst in the early 4th that opened the game back up and fisnihed the Clippers (who frankly looked like they wanted to be finished and weren't to reinsert Kaman or Baron or Gordon until they were sure we had put the game out of reach). Had a pair fo FTs therafter, but also missed another j, got blcokd inside etc., and just finished up with a 5-14 night. Good start, especially with the uncharacteristic boardwork, buoys this grade, but really largely struggled after the early going I think shooting something like 1-8 and only grabbing 3rebs in the last 30 minutes or so.

Moving the Pieces -- this will be the longest post,but it covers all the basics: ok, so you've got 6 different types of pieces right? How hard can it be to learn how 6 pieces move? From easiest to hardest, and refer to the picture above:

1) the King -- the King is easy. He moves one step, in any direction. He's slow. Easiest piece on the board to move most of the time. The big trick with him is that he is the piece that gets put in "check" -- which basically means that another piece is attacking him and could kill him next round if you don't move him away or move a piece in the way to protect him. So you can't move him into check -- if you did, then your opponent could kill him with their next move, and game over.

2) the Rook -- the "castles" are some of the easiest pieces to move for beginners. They just move in a straight line. If they run into your own piece, they stop. If they run into an opponent, they eat it. That's the default in chess BTW -- there is only one piece (the knights) which can jump pieces). So the Rooks can move straight up the board, or straight across the board. Easy. And simple is strong in this case -- rooks are generally considered the second most powerful pieces on the board (to the queen).

3) the Bishop -- the rooks go straight ahead or sideways, the bishops on the other hand go diagonally. An important thing to remember here is that means that they can never leave their own color -- one bishop starts on white, the other on black, and since they move diagonally through the checkerboard, they can't ever switch colors. If you lose your white bishop, its harder to attack white squares from then on etc.

4) the Queen -- every newbie's favorite piece -- hey she can do everything right? She is a rook AND a bishop. She moves in any direction, like the King, but as far as she wants until she runs into something. Strongest piece on the board. And new players unsure of their other pieces always want to move her the most. But be careful -- you start running her around out there and eventually you will get her killed, and then where will you be?

5) the Knight -- here's the tricky piece. You're not going to get this one to start. But if you play for any length of time you will grow to love them. They do things no other piece can do and can be deadly. First of all, they move in an L. Not a straight line, not diagonally. But an L. Two steps out, and one step over. They hop around awkwardly. And the other key thing is that they are the only piece that can jump OVER pieces. So you can jump them right over your own pieces or your opponent's, and get anywhere you want to go. These are great trap pieces -- its hard to see all the places they can go, and you can surprise your opponents with them.

6) the Pawns -- should be the simplest, weakest, pieces on the board. You've got 8 of them for a reason -- they are fodder. And their basic move is very simple. They walk ahead one measely square at a time -- always forward, never back. Onyl one direction, one movement choice. But there are several tricks you have to remember, and believe it or not at the end of games they are often the pieces that determine the game. More on that later. See the odd notations in the diagram above about them? Well here's the thing: 1) normally they just walk ahead one square at a time; 2) BUT, the very first time you move one, you can jump him head two squares if you prefer. So first move, 1 or 2 squares, your choice. After that, always 1.; and 3) here's the key thing, they walk ahead one square at a time, but they can only attack diagonally. Only piece like that -- moves one way attacks another. So you stand a piece directly in front of your opponent's pawn, that pawn can't move. You stand kitty-corner to the little sucker though and he'll eat you. Its the defining characteristic, remember it.


Thompson ( A ) -- maybe Jason's best game in forever -- it was noted in one of the recaps that it was his first 20+pt game since Dec.19., and when you add in the 15 rebounds as well...well it was the Clippers, but 22pts 15rebs will get it done. The jumper was mostly on, and while it should be noted that 8 of those 15 boards were on the offensive end and frequently of that Moses Malone miss inside and follow your own shot stat padding variety, in this game with the Clippers bigs shwiwng no interest at all in blocking him out, it effectively made him unstoppable. He either hit the initial shot, or threw up a brick, went and chased it, and then hit the shot. Hit a few wild inside shots over Kaman, and had several hustle saves. Began to lose control of Kaman defensively as the game wore on, but again avoided the foul toruble woes that are normally the aggravating factor, and his ability to do that late in the season has been promising. In the early 4th came up with a fugly finsh +1 along the baseline as part of our surge that finished the Clippers off. He was the inside guy to Reke's outside (to whatever degree you can call Reke an outside guy) this game that killed the Clippers. Our big task this summer is to find someone, anyone, who can do this sort of thing every night in there and we will be well on our way to mattering once again.

Control the Middle -- Basic Strategy 101 for a beginner is to try to control the middle of the board. Control the middle and you can control much of the action. The opening you see above is the classic Ruy Lopez (named after the old Spanish monk who first researched it) -- it dates back 500 years. Pawns are advanced to face off in the middle White hops his horsie out to threaten the black pawn. Black hops his horsie out to protect it. And White's bishop darts out diagonally to try to chase off or eat the Black horsie. If you don't know what you are doing, you can do worse than imitating a 500 year old opening like this to at least pretend you do and give structure to your early game.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
#2
Udirh ( C+ ) -- got off to the very slow start in this one, and may have had only 2pts at half on a little drive and pullup in his favored little 10-12 foot spot. Had a miscommunication turnvoer with Jason in the 2nd where Jason just wasn't looking, and appeared to bark at him. Began to get his game going after half however, picking off a pass up top and racing up court for the layup. Was still missing the jumpers, and picked up a 24 second violation when overpassing, but scored on a cut when Landry found him. Was the guy running the team during our little 4th quarter burst that reopened the lead and won the game. Got a steal as the pass was dumped right to him, then dumped it to Donte on the break. Hit a pullup jumper. Walked in for the driving finish to put us back up 22. This was only half a game and really I thought more heavily weighted toward the invisble than the little good burst later, but got back up to his normal numbers, and was there when we won the game.

Hypermodernism -- hey, you REALLY want ot fake chess sophistication, not to mention confuse a boyfriend who really does not know chess as well as he says he does (which would be 90% of them), play a hypermodern opening (despite the name, hypermodernism is 100 years old now -- everything in chess is old). The basic theory is the same -- control the middle of the board. But instead of using your pawns to do it, you use your other pieces from a distance. So you get your horsies hopping out to control those spaces, and see that little bishop with a pawn teepee over at the left for white? That's a classic hypermodern arrangement -- you set him up in a little fort, and then he can attack anything all the way across the middle of the board. Try it to confuse a pawn pushing boyfriend/husband and maybe win a back massage or him doing the dishes or some such. The above is one of my favored openings BTW.

Evans ( A ) -- played a really strong game without that sense of pressing that you got a little bit in the last game against the Spurs. Of course was often being guarded by Baron Davis, which i a green light for any Kings guard. Showed several things this late in the season that could turn him from rookie star --> superstar. When Baron backed off him to stop the drive, he just calmly pulled up for little midrange jumpers. When the defense collapsed aroudn the hoop to stop his layupos, he just pulled up for little floaters over the top. If that stuff becomes consistent, there will just be no way to guard him short of a triple team halfcourt trap. Got iso'd on Gooden in the early going, set him up and spun him to the hoop for the espn highlight. Then stole the ball from Baron, stepped out for the jumper, nice pick and roll pass over the top to Landry....it was all working. On one play in the early second blew down court in full freight train mode ala LeBron for the layup. On another got another ESPN highlight with a great falling down wraparound pass to JT for the dunk. Another little jumper. Knocked away on the on the drive. In and out on the three. Threw up something wild and ugly as the lane collapsed. Blocked on the layup to close the half, but was still sitting at 17pts 5rebs and 5ast at halftime and threatening a huge triple double. Slowed somewhat statistically after half, and had fewer minutes ot play wiht much of the half played with a 12-20pt lead. Got to shoot, and hit, 2 technical FTs for us. He hit them, and at the point in the game he took them nobody else really suggested themselves -- Landry has been missing them. But still a change from normal practices, and maybe a little help on our part for the 20-5-5. Great open court steal, but called for a double dribble on the full gallop. Scoop layup to help us in the midst of a major lull. Hesitation dribble layup flip to get the 2 for 1 at the end of the third, then got the d-board on the Clips miss and just missed the 50 foot heave at the buzzer. Sat out the early 4th, andby the time he did return the game was laregely over. Got picked up top by Baron for a Clips fastbreak. Stayed in long enough to get his 28th point, but left with 4 minutes to go in a game he had easily dominated.

Castling -- I saved the castling for now, because it always ocnfused the hell out of newbies. Its just...odd. Odd, but so absolutely necessary to understand. Pretty much here's the thing, see the diagram up above? In it the white King has "castled", the black King has not, but is in position to do so. The way it works is if, before either your King or your rook (castle) have moved, there are no pieces in between them (so you have moved out your bishop and knight on one side, or your bishop, knight and queen on the other) you can hop your king over two squares toward the rook, and jump the rook over the top of him to the inside. Sound complex? Yes, it is. But its almost always necessary in almost every game or your King will get trapped in the middle being attacked and pushed around from all sides. In almost every game, both side will castle. And you have to do it fairly early -- wihtin the first 10 moves normally. It gets the King off safely into one corner, and it brings your rook out into the middle of the board where it can cause some havoc. Being able to castle is one of the prmiary reasons why you want to develop your backline pieces (knights, bishops) quickly -- move them out of the way, castle into one corner or the other, and defend your king there. I prefer the short corner myself (the side away from the queen) -- when you do it on the side wiht the queen it leaves a vulnerable pawn off in the far corner. So just practice it a couopel dozen times on an empty board -- jumpt he King two spots to one side, jump the rook over him. Voila! And then try to make it happen pretty early in the game for you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bench
Cisco ( B+ ) -- strong game off the bench knocking down pretty much everything, adding a nice look ahead for a fullcourt pass to Omri, and a block friom behind on Baron on the Clips last possession. In the third caught a shaky paas on the break from Casspi and laid it in. Fake shot pass to Casspi inside (either that or a saavy airball), but Omri's shot was blocked. Added a couple of good d-rebs in the 4th, and drained a three in the midst of our run to to reopen the lead.

Pawn Power -- remmeber somewhere way back there where I said pawns could win a game for you late. Well this is how. Paws plod along, one step at time. But by the endgame, where most of the other pieces have gotten killed, pawns can suddenly become very important. Any pawn who mangaes ot plod its way all the way across the board and hits its opponent's backline, gets to be instantly promoted to any type piece you want it to be (which is to say, almost always a brand new queen). That is almost always fatal to your opponent who is ust about out of pieces himself. So don't just throw them away. Protect them as they slowly march toward glory.

Casspi ( B ) -- played a good game this time out. Nice drive and spin kick to Cisco, but got it poked away. Ran out and took the long lead pass from Cisco for the layup. Hit a corner three. Added a running flip in the paint in the late third, but got the next one blocked. Back in for the final garbgetime minutes and immediately had a finish. Got fouled on the baseline move. Finshed things off with an alley oop pass to Greene for an exclamation point in the final minute.

Revealed Check -- these are sneaky. If your bf is in fact incompetent, you might catch him with one of these and turn the whoile game. Here's the trick. You set up one of your pieces so that it would be putting his king in check if it weren't for another one of your pieces being in the way. Then you move that other piece (in the diagram above, you move your rook out of the way so your bishop gets to put him in check). The advantage? Well a) maybe he doesn't see it coming )although the one in the example isn't that sneaky), and b) since it puts him in check, he HAS to make a move to resolve that. He has to either move his King, or put somethig in between, or take your checking piece or whatever. All of which means he can't do anything about the piece that you moved out fo the way to reveal the check. In the example above it is your rook -- and so your rook moves off to atack his queen, but he can't save his queen, he's got to save his king instead. He does whatever to help his King, and then you calmly nab his queen. The better a player is, the less likely he is to fall for one of these. but if you significant other is a pusher (a derogatory term meaning "woodpusher"/hack), and you can set one of these up...well again, maybe you don't have to do the dishes for a while.
 
Last edited:

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
#3
Brockman ( C ) -- not much production again. Traveled on a nifty looking spinning post move in his first stint. Had a hustle offensive board in th garbagetime, but boarded over by Jordan as well.

May ( D+ ) -- 3rd came in in the mid third for Jt, tried to take a charge, and ended up giving Gooden the +1. Missed all his shots and did not get anythign else accomplished.

Greene ( B ) -- coming off a strong game and rewarded by not getting in for the first time until the late third. You just never know with Donte this year. Again made the most of his late mintes though, immediately draining a three, getting a layup on the break from Beno, and addidng anice drive and alley oop in the garbaetime. So now coming off of two strong games next time out he may either start, or be sent to the d-league. You just never do know.
 
Last edited:
#14
clips showed us how to tank properly. I had to shut off the game after the third quarter bc it was so blatant wat they were doing
I totally wasn't thinking that way, but I think you might be right. Or maybe they are a team that has tuned out the "interim coach" and just played very poorly in the second half. They got the score down to an 6 point game I think, then the Kings put on a run and it was over. So you think they laid down in the fourth quarter? They sure played like they had quit! Their substitution pattern in the second half was sure suspicious...

I liked the way Casspi played. He got 18 minutes and was 11/4/1. Evans was a BEAST, outside shot falling early and driving to the rim late (28/6/7). But even though he was agressive going to the rim often, he only got 5 foul shots. I think even the Refs didn't want to play... JT was solid 22/15/3, and looked like he held his own against Kaman, who normally eats Hawes alive. Garcia looked good but his wrist still hurts. You can tell by how many shots he passes on. But you'll take 12/5/2 in 27 minutes any day! He only missed one shot. Beno went 12/2/4, which is pretty respectable. Beno has had a solid year for the Kings. I have to say I was wrong last year saying he was a bust. He has maximized his game and the coaching is much better this year utilizing Beno's game.

Oh, and being a Latino, Speedy Gonzales was my hero! I laugh at the irony of the stereotypical portrayal of the Mexican population. I could see a major protest in front of the WB studios if they played that cartoon again. And his cousin SlowPoke Rodriguez carried a GUN? Yea, I dont think that would fly these days :) That is why you never see those cartoons anymore. They are considered insensitive. I'm not insulted by those cartoons, but I guess some people would be. Elmer Fudd isn't exactly a flattering portrayal of a typical white person, but they still play those cartoons. Whats up with that? Kinda like the Disney Movie "Song of the South". Disney has made a concerted effort to destroy every single copy of that movie. They want to make it like that movie never existed!! Those were some great cartoons though. I think Warner Bros had the best Cartoons. Bugs Bunny? He was the SHEET!
 
Last edited:
#19
Brockman ( C ) -- not much production again. Traveled on a nifty looking spinning post move in his first stint. Had a hustle offensive board in th garbagetime, but boarded over by Jordan as well.

May ( D+ ) -- 3rd came in in the mid third for Jt, tried to take a charge, and ended up giving Gooden the +1. Missed all his shots and did not get anythign else accomplished.

Greene ( B ) -- coming off a strong game and rewarded by not getting in for the first time until the late third. You just never know with Donte this year. Again made the most of his late mintes though, immediately draining a three, getting a layup on the break from Beno, and addidng anice drive and alley oop in the garbaetime. So now coming off of two strong games next time out he may either start, or be sent to the d-league. You just never do know.
i don't get it either..what's going on there?
i wonder if the coach is trying to educate him?
if he was 5 years in this league would it be the same?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.