Grades v. Celtics 12/26

Status
Not open for further replies.

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
89-69 -- sounds ugly right? Well...yes. But there was some great defense being played if you like to watch that, and the game was all kinds of chippy, inspiring an iimpromptu theme change to: NBA Enforcers

Artest ( C ) -- in the latter stages of the first quarter took over after the rest of the offense was completely moribund. A lot of it was forced, ugly, but at least he put up desperately needed points. In the second quarter however, even that source of offense went away, and as play got increasingly chippy Ron lost his cool and at one point even had to be restrained as he marched toward the Celtics bench with some sort of bad intentions. Started fumbling balls in the third, including one wide open rebound where everybody else was already headed up court and Ron just let it dribble off his hands out of bounds. After the Celtics adjusted, and with his threes not falling, Ron's offense just collapsed. He had one last hit to open the 4th and briefly draw us close, then went away.
7076.jpg

Rick Mahorn -- (and no, Ron himself does not qualify because he only rarely smacks anybody oncourt). One of the baddest of the Bad Boys (who are all over this list), started out with Jeff Ruland in Washington to form the "Bruise Brothers" and later moved on to team with Barkley in the "Bump n' Thump" frontline in Philly, not only was he a nickname master, but he earned this classic scouting report in 1986: "Enforcer of the first degree... Pistons wanted him to hit the boards as well as opponents, but he averaged only 5.2 rpg... Prince off the court and the devil personified on it, where he asks no quarter and gives none...". Perhaps not surprisingly, coming out of high school he was more prized as a football prospect than basketball prospect -- in any case he always seemed to get gleeful enjoyment out of splatting people.

Moore ( B- ) -- was quickly gone in the first quarter with 2 early fouls, and that was a major major problem at the time because he had half of our points...as in 2. Despite that awe inspiring number, pretty much sucked in the first half. Looked overmatched, unable to deal with the wall of bodies and flying hands deployed all over the court by the league's #1 defensive team, and redveloped his fumblethumbs issue. In the third though began to do the Mikki stuff as we struggled back into it -- the Celtics defense had lost some of its oomph and Mikki was able to head to the hoop for layups and dunks off of passes and follows. Delivered a hard foul on Rondo on a drive to the hoop in the late going. Bit cheap with the arm low in the gut, but I did not mind it at all on the send a message scale. Did happen late enough that it was more petulant poor loser than intimdating set the tone for the game stuff though.
sloan_060828.jpg

Jerry Sloan -- a man so mean he's still the toughest man on his team, and he's a 65 year old coach now. Sloan was a lowly guard -- about the last place you expect to find an enforcer. But he was legendary even during his day. He was scared of nobody and nothing and made All Defensive Teams just on pure tenacity (he also uunfortunately was one of the very first practicioner's of the flop in the NBA -- he and his fellow bruise brothers in Chicago became famous for falling over in the slightest breeze). And he carried that attitude with right into coaching, which has caused him considerable trouble at times. He got canned from his first coaching job with the Bulls (the very team where he coached Reggie) after calling out his players in the lockerrom for complaining to the media about him being a hardass, and when one of them stood up to admit it, Sloan chucked a chair at him so hard it shattered on the wall behind him (Reggie himself seemed to have absorbed ratehr too much of this Sloan to start this season before his mea culpa and fortuunate change of course).

Miller ( C- ) -- grabbed some rebounds inside, but the swarming Celtics' defense was clearly furstrarting and confusing him, and he was dropping balls, forcing things, didn't know what the hell to do, Shot was thrown way way off too, and aside from a very brief spurt as we made our thrid quarter charge, just did not look good out there. Because he rebounded when noone else did, will keep this grade above the D level, but there was no other part of his gam that looked comfortable at all, and the shooting obviously came crashing back to Earth.
LadnerChaseMcGinnisFloor.jpg

Wendell Ladner -- who? you are probably asking. Well, Wendell Ladner of course. And the fact that this guy make an NBA Enforcer list (actually ABA) with a name like "Wendell" says a lot. As does the fact that he made it depsite appearing in a beefcake calendar given out to the female fans of the Kentucky Colonels when he played there. But this guy was tough. Notice that pad on his forearm int eh above picture? In football we called that a "ripper", since when you play on the interior line and explode out of your stance you use them to rip upward and deliver a blow. Some guys thought it was more macho not to wear one (because slamming your bare arm up into a metal facemask hurts), but I always wore them (black of course for intimidation) because it meant you could hit the guy a helluva lot harder and try to rip his head off. In any case, great sign of enforcerhood to see a basketball player with one. And the stories about this guy are nuts -- he was famous for flying around the court recklessly slamming into anything and everything in pursuit of the ball. He once dove out of bounds and ploughed over a glass water cooler next to the bench which shattered when it hit the ground, + then tried to hop up and return to the game with blood gushing down his arm. They dragged him to the lockerroom for half an hour where he got over 100 stitches, before sprinting back out onto the court and trying to check himself back in. Known for his looks as well as his left hook, Jim O'Brien said of him in '73 "his second wife turns a lot of heads...but you're advised not to look." Speaking of which (you're welcome guys -- maybe Brad should do one of these?):
LadnerPoster.jpg
 
Last edited:
Salmons ( C+ ) -- had 0 pts in our ugly 16pt first quarter -- which turned out to be our second highest scoring quarter of the game. Was really shut down by the Celtics wall around the paint defense. But he slowly began to wake up and crawled back into this one to have a solid, if unspectacular game. Got a few drives, one of his corner threes (just about the only King to hit a three tonight), and played solid defense -- we kind of got into a defensive war wiht the Celtics tonight, and we aren't going to win that, but while our team defense was nowhere near what the Celtics' was (in particular in the second quarter blowout), we were occasionally quite good ourselves.
2003551938.jpg

Xavier McDaniel -- the X man (shown here choking the crap out of a Laker in true enforcer style) was just simply a nut. Its hard to be an enforcer as a small forward, which is kind of the land of the soft little weenies, but everybody was scared of X. Back in college he led the nation in both scoring AND rebounding in the same year. And he was rugged, chippy, and prone to going nutso on you at any time. Part of Pat Riley's genius was coming out of retirement after having coached the pretty boy Lakers, and immediately pulling a complete 180 and constructing an all-time enforcer crew with a frontline of X-Man, Oakley, Mason and Ewing. Everybody except for Jordan was too scared to even take the court against them.

Udrih ( C- ) -- was oddly aggressive early, but really forcing up some wild stuff fro no apparent reason. Nonetheless, more than halfway through the first quarter he had over half of our points...with 4. So he, and we, were obviously off to hot starts. But after the blistering start there, Beno slowed a tad, and finished the game with a completely invisible 6 points. On the other side Rondo was able to get free enough to be effective, and there were an ugly number of wide open threes out around the perimeter. Against a team with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Kevin Garnett on it of course the PG matchup is always gong to be an afterthought, but Beno lost that afterthought to Rondo this time out. Was bothered by his defense, and while he created what very few assists we had tonight (5 of our 11), at no point after that first little push did Beno feel remotely significant.
RS749~Dennis-Rodman-Rolling-Stone-no-749-December-1996-Posters.jpg

Dennis Rodman -- in a lot of ways Rodman does not really qualify as an "enforcer', but rather as a thuggish maniac. Enforcers have kind of a code. There are rules. You thug people for a purpose. You protect your teammates. Rodman....well, he was always playing his own game, following his own wacky rules. It just happened to involve beating the hell out of you most of the time. My favorite Rodman memory/story was watching him in a game in the early/mid 90's when he was with San Antonio. They were playing Denver, and Rodman has just recently gotten off a suspension for some nuttiness or the other. Well, anyway, the Spurs never did trust him as far as they could throw him, and so decided to bring him off the bench. And it was a pretty good, but pretty standard game up until that point. Then Rodman subbed in, and all hell broke loose. In his first 5 or 6 minute stint he grabbed about a dozen rebounds, elbowed one guy in the face, kicked a cameraman, blatantly tripped a guy trying to get a rebound from him (I want to say LaPhonso Ellis, but don't quote me) to send him crashing to the floor, then stepped on his throat while throwing the ball upcourt to start the fast break, which all of course resulted in somebody trying to thug Rodman on the other end, and a big pushing and shoving match with whistles tweeting everywhere. Meanwhile the crowd is going nuts and the Admiral is standing there looking embarrassed. Best part was when Dennis sauntered back out of the game soon thereafter with that smirk on his face having done his job of sowing chaos and destruction and completely turning the arena on its ear.

Thomas ( D+ ) -- entered the game early for Mikki with energy, and ever so briefly I had hope maybe he would help. Then he remembered he was Kenny Thomas, threw away an easy fast break pass, tried, and failed to post up 6'5" and soft Ray Allen, and headed back to the bench. Was back in the second half briefly, but you would not have noticed.
2003552027.jpg

Maurice Lucas -- maybe the dean of the enforcers, you know you are an enforcer when your nickname is simply "the Enforcer." Lucas is famous for being a purebred of the breed. Not only was he tougher and meaner than his own man every night, but if your guy was screwing with you he'd come over and fight him too. The only disappointment of his career was that he combined with Bill Walton to win the title in 1977, and so far as is known never availed himself of the chance to beat the crap out Big Red Menace.

Cisco ( B ) -- was very quiet and ineffective in the first half, but came out in the second apparently resolved to be a jerk. Which was not entirely a bad thing. Brought the energy, but also a hihgly chippy attitude and an apparent design to get under KGs skin. Spent most of the second half yapping at him, banging him, and generally being a pest. A few times there were confrontatiosn that could easily have led to technicals. And...well, on one level so what? A nobody yapping at a Hall of Famer to try to establish himself. But it did at least show a competitiveness, and it was not the extent of the contribution. Cisco also gave us a second half scoring punch, and kept the pressure on the Celtics in the third wiht some of his wild play. ddin't do much else except handfight with Garnett -- not much in the way of passing, rebounding etc. But he came to play for a half at least, and earned a lot of second half minutes because of it.
ntnp_20071016_s004_playerslamental_49569_mi0001.jpg

Charles Oakley -- rarely has an enforcer had a more natural nickname than "Oak", and Charles was damn near best of breed. Sour, powerful, and chippy, he would tangle wiht anyone at anytime. He gobbled up boards, and then smashed anybody who dared wander into his paint. He was famous for hitting peopel after the whistle ont he theory that they could only call one foul per play, so might as well get in your extra shot. And of course when Riley teamed him with Anthony Mason it was tagteam mayhem.
 
Last edited:
Douby ( B- ) -- gave us a nice litle burst actually in his opening minutes. Brought defensive energy off the bench, and poked it away from Allen at the end of the 1st to spark us. But it only lasted a few minutes, the Celtics brought in more competent personnel, and Quincy's impact dissipated. Did come back in the second half to score some points, but missed a series of threes that we desperately needed as well. Made some dumb decisions with the ball on anight when the Celtic's pressure was causing a lot of Kings to do that.
Karl%20Malone%20and%20Tim%20Duncan.jpg

Karl Malone -- and this may seem like almost too respectable a name to have on this list, but just look at the above photo as The Mailman teaches the Spurs the Bowen flying legkick before Bwoen was even on their team. Malone never had any difficulty or hesitation in throwing an elbow, a hip, a knee, a foot...or basically any other part of his body he could crack you with. Of course he loved to lead with that big ole knee whenever he ran the fastbreak -- if a skinny little twit like Mikki tried to jump in front of Mailman he would have been snapped in two. And he would straight out thug you if he got mad at you. The most famous example perhaps being when Isiah Thomas, as much a jerk then as now, was pissing and moaning about Stockton being a token pick for the first Dream Team when it should have been Zeke going instead. So the very next time they met, Zeke drives, and Malone comes flying on over to "accidentaly" clobber him in the head with a vicious elbow. Opened his face right up and put him to the ground in a pool of his own blood. Oops! Now of course Mailman loses enforcer points for being a notorious flopper -- never before or after has a 6'9" 260lb wall of muscle fallen down so easily and so often. But if Mailman can survive the picture below and still make this list, the flopping is a relatively minor issue:
68325384_478f974345.jpg


Jones ( C ) -- added to the defensive hustle in the brief little push to end the first quarter and begin the second, and really mystriously got under Tony Allen's skin (Allen was awful BTW) resulting in Allen actually blatantly shoving him to the floor on a play that could easily have been a technical. Really did very little out there exceptget chippy with seemingly everybody on the Celtics. Odd, given that he was in camp wiht them, unless he was trying to prove a point I suppose.
103559_b.jpg

Greg Kite -- (Kite is the one wihtout the goggles) ok, here admittedly I am actually using Greg Kite as a stand in for the entire Celtics frontline back in the mid 80s. They would all clock you. Part of why they were good. McHale once clotheslined Kurt Rambis to turn around an NBA Finals series. Parrish would just knock you alongside the head and once just hauled off and whacked Laimbeer in the noggin in the midst of an ECF. And Greg Kite was the purest of the breed -- he had NO talent, EXCEPT as an enforcer. That was all he could do -- smack people. And yes indeedy, we once got to call him our own for all of about a season or so. And we were still soft and pathetic.

Hawes ( D+ ) -- hit an awkward hook in his early minutes (it was kind of a bad shot, but at least shwed touch), but then was outhustled by Pollard for the remainder of his minutes, a step slow and not saavy enough on his defensive rotations, and generally did nothing else.
laimbeer3.jpg

Bill Laimbeer -- the above was always a great shot, and almost an "Any Questions" selection to this thread. Now of course the man was cheap, dirty, and unpopular. but that can all be part of the enforcer handbook too. Less easy to explain is coaching a WNBA team (and now with Mahorn as his assistant coach!), but that's probably just sexist thinking, as there is no earthly reason why you can't have female enforcers too, and hopefully under his tutelage there will soon be women all over the WNBA with black eyes, missing teeth and noses going three ways at once.

Reggie ( ) --
 
Last edited:
And the theme for tonight? If it's baseball I'm going to do unmentionable things.

:p
 
Theme: Great moments in Yankee History

:D

Okay, here's the deal. If I ever find out where you live, you're in real trouble. ;)

Damn, that was embarrassing. I was really tempted to find a Celtics broadcast just so I wouldn't have to listen to Napear fawning over the baseball guy. And I HATE Tommy Heinsohn with a passion usually reserved only for the Lakers.
 
ditto that idea of bein a yanks fan!! i dont dislike anything more than the damn red sox n lakers!! k well maybe broccoli! :eek:
 
Less easy to explain is coaching a WNBA team (and now with Mahorn as his assistant coach!), but that's probably just sexist thinking, as there is no earthly reason why you can't have female enforcers too, and hopefully under his tutelage there will soon be women all over the WNBA with black eyes, missing teeth and noses going three ways at once.

I watched this years WNBA Finals between Detroit and Phoenix and Detroit does play like a bunch of enforcers out there. They were fouling hard and flopping like nobodies business. Diani Taurasi did most of the actual damage though.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top