Bill Simmons on the upcoming draft

Wasn't going to bother, because its just the Sports Guy, and that's kind of like carrot top commenting on your team, but its tradition:

10. Sacramento Kings Dead man walking!!!!!!!!!! There isn't a more depressing NBA roster than this one -- washed-up All-Stars, multiple bad contracts, one lunatic (Artest), a new head coach in Reggie Theus (the third one in 14 months), the possibility of relocation within the next two-three years, and if that's not enough, my entire outdoor blackjack table at the Wynn decided at 5:30 Saturday afternoon that the Maloofs weren't cool anymore, that they were even a little creepy. So whatever they do at No. 10, it's not helping that litany of problems. The good news: Green is the best player on the board and never should have slipped this far -- shades of Caron Butler a few years ago, actually. The VP's verdict: Take Green; try to get contenders to bite on Ron Artest and the just-about-washed-up Mike Bibby (expiring in 2009) for expiring contracts; test Brad Miller's DNA to make sure scientists didn't secretly do a Cage/Travolta "Face Off" switch with Miller and Greg Ostertag, since that's the only possible explanation for how much Miller stunk last season.
 
test Brad Miller's DNA to make sure scientists didn't secretly do a Cage/Travolta "Face Off" switch with Miller and Greg Ostertag, since that's the only possible explanation for how much Miller stunk last season.

I'm sorry but this made me crack up...
 
Wasn't going to bother, because its just the Sports Guy, and that's kind of like carrot top commenting on your team, but its tradition:

10. Sacramento Kings Dead man walking!!!!!!!!!! There isn't a more depressing NBA roster than this one -- washed-up All-Stars, multiple bad contracts, one lunatic (Artest), a new head coach in Reggie Theus (the third one in 14 months), the possibility of relocation within the next two-three years, and if that's not enough, my entire outdoor blackjack table at the Wynn decided at 5:30 Saturday afternoon that the Maloofs weren't cool anymore, that they were even a little creepy. So whatever they do at No. 10, it's not helping that litany of problems. The good news: Green is the best player on the board and never should have slipped this far -- shades of Caron Butler a few years ago, actually. The VP's verdict: Take Green; try to get contenders to bite on Ron Artest and the just-about-washed-up Mike Bibby (expiring in 2009) for expiring contracts; test Brad Miller's DNA to make sure scientists didn't secretly do a Cage/Travolta "Face Off" switch with Miller and Greg Ostertag, since that's the only possible explanation for how much Miller stunk last season.


Bill Simmons is an absolute riot - I agree with 90% of his analysis, although he used to irritate me during the golden days because he had an irrational dislike of the Kings.

If no-one has read his "atrocious GM summit" article, I highly recommend it as long as you have enough space on the floor around you to laugh.

His analysis on the Kings is right on...excepting Kevin Martin being a great bright spot for our team - an NBA star in the making who should have another 8-10 good seasons in him.
 
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