Anatomy: The perfect playoff player
By Joe Davidson -- Bee Staff Writer
Published 2:15 am PDT Friday, April 22, 2005
In our fantasy laboratory, with the beakers bubbling over and lightning crackling in the night sky outside, there lies under straps and chains the makings of "Project T.U.P.S." - The Ultimate Playoff Specimen.
He is Franken-baller, a being so complete from head to toe, heart and soul, that if he were unleashed, the NBA suits would trip over themselves trying to market the creature. But no tattoos here. The only markings are those of stitches to keep the beast together. Pass the bone saw, please.
Franken-baller would be a frightening mix of poise and power, close to 7 feet with the ability to shoot, run, defend, post up and attack the rim. He would have the body of Amare Stoudemire of the hard-charging Phoenix Suns - the biceps, wide shoulders and one-handed throw-downs. He would elicit that sort of fear that's good to have in the postseason.
Golden State's Adonal Foyle, for example, had to duck from several posterized dunks during a late-season meeting with Stoudemire, the pre-Franken-baller mold, and Foyle 'fessed up later: "I gave up my body to science, at least to the Amare Stoudemire foundation."
Amazingly enough, Stoudemire hasn't given his body to the weight room. His is all natural power. No steroid rumors here. That makes him the ideal frame to start with.
"I've never been a weight room guy, lifting and grunting and yelling 'Aggghhhh,' " Stoudemire said. "I might start, though, just to be stronger."
Franken-baller would never get rattled, either. He would have the composure of Mike Bibby, the Kings' unflappable guard who never lets you see him sweat when his club is down one, the clock shows :01, and he needs a two to win it.
Bibby has delivered such daggers for years, from his Arizona college days that led to him cutting down the championship nets, to a spirited run in the 2002 playoffs that sealed his career contract, to buzzer-beating shots this season.
"Mike, man, he's done that his whole career," said Memphis' Earl Watson, a UCLA man who watched Bibby for years. "You can defend the heck out of him, but it doesn't matter. It's like he's not human sometimes."
Half man, half amazing.
Our creature would have the vision of Steve Nash, the pound-it-up-the-floor guard for the Suns. Nash has always been good with the ball, but he's great with it this season. His eyes see everything. He's able to see things before they develop, on the fly, down the lane, to his left or right or behind him.
"Incredible passer," Suns teammate Shawn Marion said. "It took all of us a while in training camp to get used to him. You'd get hit in the cheek with his pass if you didn't pay attention."
Franken-baller has to have hands, Chris Webber hands, Velcro-like mitts that don't let anything get away. Webber has always been able to corral the goods, like suction cups to a glass window - dribbling, high lobs, alley oops.
"Best hands I've ever seen on a player," said Vlade Divac, for six seasons Webber's partner in Sacramento. "For all the things Chris could do in this game, it was his hands that made him."
The 'Baller would possess the confidence and big-game experience of Shaquille O'Neal, a three-time NBA Finals MVP and still the game's most dominant force, but he wouldn't spook his teammates when he goes to the free-throw line. But he would, as Miami president Pat Riley said of Shaq, be "the only indefensible guy in the league."
Franken-baller would have the shooting stroke of Dallas' Dirk Nowitzki, the range of Seattle's Ray Allen. He would have the defensive tenacity of San Antonio's Bruce Bowen, who doesn't just shut foes down, he infuriates them by getting into their heads.
Our beautiful creature would have the hips of Detroit's Ben Wallace. Best box-out in the business. Franken-baller would have the legs and hops of LeBron James, who can run and leap with spring-action quickness.
And to complete the package, our Franken-baller wouldn't just have a heart pounding away in there. He has an organ like no other, filled with determination and drive, fire and fury. It would be an Allen Iverson heart that keeps the body moving, right on down to the quickest feet in the NBA that anchor Franken-baller.
Iverson, the NBA's leading scorer and incomparable competitor for the Philadelphia 76ers, plays hurt and inspired. Nothing slows him down. At 29, he's still so quick that when he makes a bad pass, he's liable to race over and retrieve it before enemy hands reach it.
Indiana Pacers coach Rick Carlisle called Iverson, "the most uniquely dominant" player he's ever encountered.
Said Kings coach Rick Adelman said: "I mean, he's scary." Scary. That's what we like to hear about our guy.
http://www.sacbee.com/content/sports/basketball/kings/story/12767778p-13618902c.html
By Joe Davidson -- Bee Staff Writer
Published 2:15 am PDT Friday, April 22, 2005
In our fantasy laboratory, with the beakers bubbling over and lightning crackling in the night sky outside, there lies under straps and chains the makings of "Project T.U.P.S." - The Ultimate Playoff Specimen.
He is Franken-baller, a being so complete from head to toe, heart and soul, that if he were unleashed, the NBA suits would trip over themselves trying to market the creature. But no tattoos here. The only markings are those of stitches to keep the beast together. Pass the bone saw, please.
Franken-baller would be a frightening mix of poise and power, close to 7 feet with the ability to shoot, run, defend, post up and attack the rim. He would have the body of Amare Stoudemire of the hard-charging Phoenix Suns - the biceps, wide shoulders and one-handed throw-downs. He would elicit that sort of fear that's good to have in the postseason.
Golden State's Adonal Foyle, for example, had to duck from several posterized dunks during a late-season meeting with Stoudemire, the pre-Franken-baller mold, and Foyle 'fessed up later: "I gave up my body to science, at least to the Amare Stoudemire foundation."
Amazingly enough, Stoudemire hasn't given his body to the weight room. His is all natural power. No steroid rumors here. That makes him the ideal frame to start with.
"I've never been a weight room guy, lifting and grunting and yelling 'Aggghhhh,' " Stoudemire said. "I might start, though, just to be stronger."
Franken-baller would never get rattled, either. He would have the composure of Mike Bibby, the Kings' unflappable guard who never lets you see him sweat when his club is down one, the clock shows :01, and he needs a two to win it.
Bibby has delivered such daggers for years, from his Arizona college days that led to him cutting down the championship nets, to a spirited run in the 2002 playoffs that sealed his career contract, to buzzer-beating shots this season.
"Mike, man, he's done that his whole career," said Memphis' Earl Watson, a UCLA man who watched Bibby for years. "You can defend the heck out of him, but it doesn't matter. It's like he's not human sometimes."
Half man, half amazing.
Our creature would have the vision of Steve Nash, the pound-it-up-the-floor guard for the Suns. Nash has always been good with the ball, but he's great with it this season. His eyes see everything. He's able to see things before they develop, on the fly, down the lane, to his left or right or behind him.
"Incredible passer," Suns teammate Shawn Marion said. "It took all of us a while in training camp to get used to him. You'd get hit in the cheek with his pass if you didn't pay attention."
Franken-baller has to have hands, Chris Webber hands, Velcro-like mitts that don't let anything get away. Webber has always been able to corral the goods, like suction cups to a glass window - dribbling, high lobs, alley oops.
"Best hands I've ever seen on a player," said Vlade Divac, for six seasons Webber's partner in Sacramento. "For all the things Chris could do in this game, it was his hands that made him."
The 'Baller would possess the confidence and big-game experience of Shaquille O'Neal, a three-time NBA Finals MVP and still the game's most dominant force, but he wouldn't spook his teammates when he goes to the free-throw line. But he would, as Miami president Pat Riley said of Shaq, be "the only indefensible guy in the league."
Franken-baller would have the shooting stroke of Dallas' Dirk Nowitzki, the range of Seattle's Ray Allen. He would have the defensive tenacity of San Antonio's Bruce Bowen, who doesn't just shut foes down, he infuriates them by getting into their heads.
Our beautiful creature would have the hips of Detroit's Ben Wallace. Best box-out in the business. Franken-baller would have the legs and hops of LeBron James, who can run and leap with spring-action quickness.
And to complete the package, our Franken-baller wouldn't just have a heart pounding away in there. He has an organ like no other, filled with determination and drive, fire and fury. It would be an Allen Iverson heart that keeps the body moving, right on down to the quickest feet in the NBA that anchor Franken-baller.
Iverson, the NBA's leading scorer and incomparable competitor for the Philadelphia 76ers, plays hurt and inspired. Nothing slows him down. At 29, he's still so quick that when he makes a bad pass, he's liable to race over and retrieve it before enemy hands reach it.
Indiana Pacers coach Rick Carlisle called Iverson, "the most uniquely dominant" player he's ever encountered.
Said Kings coach Rick Adelman said: "I mean, he's scary." Scary. That's what we like to hear about our guy.
http://www.sacbee.com/content/sports/basketball/kings/story/12767778p-13618902c.html
