RIP Pillsbury Doughboy

#1
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the enterainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
 
#4
hehe.. thats pretty funny. dying of a yeast infection and repeated pokes to the gut does not sound like a peaceful death. hopefully this doesn't mean I will no longer be able to enjoy those chocolate chip cookies..
 
#5
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the enterainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
The absence of Hamburger Helper at the funeral is not at all suprising to those who know the sordid history between him and the Pillsbury Doughboy. I won't get into the details now, during this time of mourning. Look for an upcoming expose on "A Current Affair" in a few weeks.
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
#6
I did hear rumors of some kind of scandal with Sara Lee a few years ago. I certainly hope those stories don't make it into the mainstream media.
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
#8
It wasn't Chef Boyardee, at least in the whispers I heard. It involved Oscar Meyer...and, shockingly, Louis Rich.
 
#9
Oh what a tangled web we weave...

I hear the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man is suing Doughboy's estate for trademark infringement - personally, I think Puft is just jealous that he never reached Dough's heights of popularity and trying to cash in on his demise.
 
#11
From what I understand, the Pillsbury Doughboy *DID* have a passionate affair with Sara Lee. But you know how guys are; they love 'em then leave 'em!

So, he left and started another affair with Mrs. Fields, who in turn was cheating by carrying on an affair with Chef Boy-Ar-Dee.

When the Chef found out about it, the Doughboy had to end the affair with Mrs. Fields, and a few days later, started dating Aunt Jemima, whose fetish with syrup left him, well, "sticky". So, Doughboy had to leave her too.

Meanwhile, Louis Rich, Oscar Meyer, and Duncan Hines were all after the Doughboy, claiming that he owed them money for gambling debts.

So, the Doughboy hid out in a candy store and met up with Mrs. See. But he later found out that she was too old for him, so he was on the road again. A few days later, he went to a pancake restaurant, and met Mrs. Butterworth. But like Aunt Jemima, her penchant for syrup disgusted the Doughboy, so he left her too.

The following week, he found his way into a bakery and by chance, started a torrid love affair with Betty Crocker, where their passionate romance still continues to this day.

And how do I know this? I read about it in the National Enquirer and Star. So, you know it's gotta be true! :D

And by the way, who the hell is Ken Lay, anyway? :)
 

VF21

Super Moderator Emeritus
SME
#14
Didn't you get THE check from Ben? You know - the one where we all promise not to say anything publicly?