Ok, so, um help

Bricklayer

Don't Make Me Use The Bat
http://news.yahoo.com/petersen-continues-african-charge-n-z-test-011612692.html

I have absolutely no idea what this means. To me it sounds like a bad translation from one of the online transaltion services or something. So as an American, for whom this sport is a complete mystery, what the hell do statements like this even mean:

South Africa declared their first innings at 474 for nine in the final session at Basin Reserve and at stumps New Zealand were 65 without loss with Daniel Flynn on 35 and Martin Guptill on 28.

What. The. Hell?
 
Once at a conference I sat down with a British colleague over a beer, and I asked him to explain cricket. He declined.
 
I have maintained for years and still insist that cricket is the world's longest running practical joke.
 
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